Sunlight was streaming in through the windows when I woke up. I rubbed my eyes and stretched. Then I turned around, excepting to see Stefan, when I saw Damon's icy blue eyes looking at me. Memories of last night came running back into my head: Stefan working late, when I slapped him, sleeping with Damon.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Damon smiled and kissed my forehead. I swallowed hard and looked up at him. He looked happy. Like actual happy. Not the kind of happy you pretend you are when your aunt gives you a sweater for Christmas for the fifth year in a row.
I rubbed my forehead, remembering more and more with each second. "Wh-What happened to Katherine?" I looked at him. I was naked, only the white sheets covering me. And I'm assuming Damon is also naked beneath the sheets.
"We broke up a while ago." He shrugged, laying back down on my bed. But I kept myself propped up, looking at him, with my elbow. The sheets were still covering my breasts, so I wasn't showing him anything. But it's not like he never saw them before. "She's a bitch in disguise."
"Yeah, well, I'm a slut in disguise." I sighed, finally laying down. Then I covered my face with the sheets, angry with myself. How could I have been so stupid to run off to Damon after Stefan and I got into a little argument. How could I have been so stupid to hit him when he didn't do anything wrong? Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to sleep with Damon. Maybe I was just wanted to take all my anger about myself out on someone else.
"You're not a slut." Damon said. I peeked out underneath and sheets and looked at him. We both frowned.
"I'm absolutely a slut. If I wasn't a slut, I wouldn't have cheated on my husband by sleeping with you - twice." My eyes started to water. I felt terrible to doing this to Stefan again. But isn't that a sign? Maybe our marriage is really a miserable one, we're just hiding it from ourselves.
Damon stayed silent for a few minutes then he finally spoke up. "Do you love me, Elena?" He said quietly. He wasn't looked at me, he was looking at the TV in the far corner of the room.
"I don't know." I answered.
"Do you love Stefan?"
"I don't know."
I realized how pathetic that must sound. It's always been Stefan for me. But I can't deny that there hasn't been something between Damon and me. I really wish I wasn't so confused right now. I wish I could talk to someone, so maybe they could nudge me in the right direction.
Finally, I got up and searched for my clothes on the floor. "I-I need some time to think, Damon, alright?" I pulled on my bra and underwear then I put on my pants. "And I'll take Sophia to get a paternity test soon. Just please give me some time to think." I pulled on my shirt and came over to him.
He smiled sadly at me. "Take all the time you need, princess." He kissed me. Not too rough, though. It was nice and gentle, but not sloppy. "I love you, Elena." He whispered against my lips. My eyes started to water again. I was going to break one of the Salvatore brother's hearts. They both love me. And I think I love both of them. We just don't know who is better for each other.
Maybe it's some sort of mistake. They say that everyone has a soul mate, that there's a person out there for everyone who they should spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe there was a mistake where Damon and Stefan were both of my soul mates. But I can't belong to both of them. That's not how it works. It's not fair to them.
I put my jacket on and left the hotel. I got into my car and looked in my mirror. I pulled my hair up in a messy pony tail, I found the pony tail holder on my wrist. I frowned at my reflection. What did Damon and Stefan love about me so much? I wasn't that pretty, just average. I wasn't that smart, just average. But I knew I was definitely one thing. A slut.
I drove back to my house, the guilt was nearly eating me alive. Am I going to lie to my faithful husband again? I already have told him so much lies, I don't think I could handle another. But I have to. Just for a little while. Just until I have the courage to tell him the truth.
When I got back home, Stefan was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. It was early and a Saturday, Sophia was probably asleep. I went into the kitchen and Stefan heard my footsteps, he looked up at me. He still looked tired. I wonder how much he slept last night. "Where were you?" His voice was cool, calm.
"At Caroline's." I lied. Lying is like a sport. The more you do it, the better you get at it. If lying was an official sport, I'd be in the Olympics. "How's Sophia?" I asked, quietly.
Stefan shrugged. "She's fine. She's still fast asleep, she loves sleeping in. Just like her father." I felt another pang of guilt. He might not even be her father. He deserves to know if he is her father or not. I'll have to get Sophia to get the test soon.
"Look..." I sighed and he looked at me sadly. I could just tell him everything right now. Blab it all out. It will all be over. But I couldn't. "I'm sorry about last night. I was tired and cranky and I just wanted you to be home more." In reality, I wanted him to be home more so I wouldn't be able to think about Damon.
He came over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked up into his emerald green eyes. "It's okay, Elena. You're right. I should be home more." He sighed and let go of me, walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. I walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. "When I was Sophia's age, my Mom died. My Dad worked more and more and I barely ever saw him. I don't want that to be the case for Sophia. I want her to have parents who love her and are always with her. I want her to have parents that get along. Can we try not to fight anymore?"
I swallowed hard, once again remembering that he might not even be her father. But I forced a smile for his sake. "Of course. I hate fighting with you." He reached out for my hand and I took it, gently stroking his knuckles with my thumb.
"Oh Stefan, look it's Times Square!" Our bus stopped and Stefan and I got off, holding hands. We were a fresh out of college couple who were spending a week in New York City to celebrate ending college. Stefan has been in New York City before, plenty of times. While this is my first. My Mom promised to take me out here for my 18th birthday, but of course that never happened.
Stefan laughed at my eagerness. "It's beautiful, isn't it? All the lights but so many people." He muttered the last part as a group of teenage boys rushed past him, bumping into his shoulder. I shrugged and tightened my grip on his hand. The last thing I wanted was to loose him in a crowd. "So, where to first?"
"I don't know, Stefan. You've been to New York hundreds of times before. Be my tour guide." I smiled and he did too. It was night, so the lights in Times Square were even brighter and all of them actually hurt my eyes a little. I love New York City from what I've seen of it, but I could never live here.
"Alright. Well, I'm going to show you a little place in Rockefeller Center. It's only about a ten minute walk from here." I nodded, curious to what he has to show me. He pulled me away from Times Square and we started walking. I looked up at the tall buildings, wondering how people built them. I'd be afraid that I would fall.
After about 15 minutes of casual walking, we arrived at a place on a corner called Magnolia Bakery. Outside was a door with a line that ran all the way down the building. I raised my eyebrow at him. "You brought me to a bakery? Stefan, we have like a million bakeries in Mystic Falls."
He rolled his eyes. "Elena, this isn't just any bakery. It's Magnolia Bakery. I can't believe you never heard of it. It's my favorite bakery in New York, by far." He grinned and walked all the way down to the end of the line. I sighed, not so eager to wait in the long line. Stefan must've recognized my impatientness so he looked at me and kissed me. "Come on, Elena. I promise that as soon as we're done here, we'll go right back to Times Square."
I nodded. "Okay." I smiled softly. I yawned. It was only about 8 at night, but I was exhausted. We just arrived in New York City yesterday evening. We went out for something to eat then returned to our hotel. Today, we made plans to see the Statue of Liberty. And sometime during this week, Stefan wants to see Ground Zero. It's the one place in New York City he hasn't been to.
After about 20 minutes of waiting, we finally got inside Magnolia Bakery. It smelt delicious, needless to say. We went over to where they were selling cupcakes. Each cupcake was decorated perfectly, like they weren't made to be eaten. Stefan had a sweet tooth, that I knew. But I'm now starting to think that all of his teeth are sweet. "Pick which one you want." He said.
"That one." I pointed to a vanilla cupcake with light blue icing. The worker took the cupcake and put it in a box. Stefan asked for the red velvet one with cream cheese icing. The worker put Stefan's cupcake in the box too then we paid and went back out to the nosy city. "Can we go back to Times Square?" I asked.
"Of course." Stefan nodded. We held hands and started walking back towards Times Square.
Times Square is like a different universe compared to Mystic Falls. In Times Square, seeing a homeless man holding a sign that says "Need money for weed" is something you see everyday. I don't think I ever saw someone homeless, not until I went into New York City. Stefan says that they have some money, and possibly even a home. They just look poor so they get more money. That's a good tactic when you think about it.
When we finally got right in the center of Times Square, we held hands and looked at the electronic advertisements. Finally, Stefan looked at me and said. "Elena? Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Stefan." I turned my head and looked at him, curious to what he had to say.
Before I knew it, he got down on one knee and took something out of his pocket - a box. A jewelry box. A little black velvet box that could only mean one thing. "Elena Gilbert, I loved you since the moment we ran into each other on the first day of Junior year right outside the mens' bathroom." He said with a small chuckle. "You've supported me through everything and I've supported you through everything. You are the women I want to spend the rest of my life with. So, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" He opened the box, to reveal a small but gorgeous diamond ring.
I laughed. I couldn't help but laugh. I've been waiting for this moment my whole life, and I knew that it would be Stefan who asked. "Yes! A million times yes!" I was still smiling and laughing like an idiot. People stopped and watch our little scene that was right out of a movie. Stefan smiled wide when I agreed and he slipped the ring on my finger. Then I picked me up and twirled me around, all while kissing me passionately.
"Look, Uncly Jerm!" Sophia smiled wide and she marched around Jeremy and Anna's apartment living room. "I'm a princess!" Sophia was wearing a Snow White dress. She begged me to wear the dress to visit Jeremy and Anna. And I couldn't resist her puppy dog face. "And you're my prince."
Jeremy laughed. "Of course, Princess Sophia." He picked her up and twirled her gently then set her back down on the floor. "May I ask you to dance, Princess Sophia?"
Sophia smiled and nodded. "Yes, Prince Jerm!" Jeremy was bending down and holding hands with Sophia as they danced around the cramped living room apartment. I smiled, watching them. It was a beautiful sight. Jeremy and Sophia had always been close. He was her Godfather. Caroline was her Godmother.
"Hey, Soph." Anna came into the living room and put her bag down on the couch. "Are you hungry? I have cookies in the kitchen." She smiled. Sophia nodded and raced into the kitchen with Anna following, laughing at Sophia's antics the whole way.
Jeremy turned and looked at me. The smile on his face was gone and was replaced with a serious look. "Elena, you know you can tell me anything, right?" It's been about a month since I slept with it was impossible for Jeremy to know anything. Damon wouldn't tell anyone that we slept together again and I'm obviously not that stupid to tell anyone either. Maybe my expression was saying something that my mouth wasn't saying.
I nodded my head, faking a smile. "Of course I can, Jer. Is everything okay with you and Anna?" I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Changing the subject quickly was a trick of mine, and I've became a master at it.
Jeremy bit his lip to hide an incoming smile. He looked back at the kitchen to make sure the coast was clear. Then he walked over to the bookcase that was covered with books next to the fireplace. He reached behind a book and pulled out a little black jewelry box, similar to the one Stefan proposed to me with. He walked back over to me and opened it - an engagement ring.
My jaw dropped and I smiled at my little brother. Anna wasn't all that bad. And she made Jeremy happy, which was all that matter. "Oh my God, Jeremy!" I said in a loud whisper, praying that Anna wouldn't hear us. "I'm so happy for you!" I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly.
Jeremy laughed. "I hoped you would be. Now I just have to get her to say yes." He walked back over and hid the box where he pulled it out from.
"Of course she'll say yes. She loves you, anyone can see that. You have nothing to worry about." I smiled and Jeremy smiled back. "I shouldn't be gone too long, just an hour or two. Grocery shopping is so much easier without Soph begging me to buy every box of cookies known to man. But call me if you need anything."
I left Jeremy and Anna's apartment. Of course I wasn't going to the grocery store. It was just another lie. I drove back to my house in record time. Stefan was working, of course. We haven't fought since I slept with Damon. But we haven't really been talking either. Once I got into my house, I went directly upstairs to the bathroom.
Nestled in the cabinet on the third shelf behind where I keep my 'woman supplies', as Stefan calls them, is two pregnancy tests. Right before Sophia's third birthday, I thought I was pregnant. Of course I wasn't. But I had two leftover tests. Since then, Stefan and I didn't make love.
I missed my period and I just had this gut feeling. So I figure that I should take the pregnancy test now.
Five minutes later, after doing my business on both sticks and waiting the painstaking 3 minutes, I turned over both of the pregnancy tests.
Both of them said positive.
