Disclaimer: I don't own anything of VOCALOID/UTAU
Not like I've been trying to neglect writing, but I was going through a hard time with it. I lost all of my writing and I just got so upset that I couldn't try to restart it. I know that's horrible of me to do to you guys who actually read my stories, but I was just so upset to lose it all. But I'm back and hopefully with a satisfying end!
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Chapter 7:
I Know What You Did.
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The object was dull and weak. I could tell what it was, but not why it found its way to me. A knife? What is...
"Master?" My doll's voices were far behind me, but close enough to bring a shiver down my spine.
What would I do when they found me? My hand clutched onto the broken knife afraid that it would vanish just as the little girl had been doing so much of. I sat in the dark. I sat with a million questions. For who? I wasn't sure of that either. One thing I was noticing was that I had been doing an awful lot of "not knowing" lately. It bothered me deeply. I hated being unsure of things. What were those strange visions in my head?
Then it happened in a flash. It was like having the lights turned on in a dark room suddenly and your eyes won't adjust quickly enough.
I heard that little girl speak to me. "You know who I am, don't you, Nell? You know what you did. Right? You remember how you and I used to play. We loved playing together with our dolls. Mother and father yelled when we got too old, though. I wonder if you remember my name? Mila?" The small figure appeared in front of me looking whole, but her smile was missing a spark to it. "Yes. Of course you remember Rin and Len. How we loved playing with them most. Our favorite game was 'tea party'. Look over there." I had my eyes follow the pale, outstretched arm to a small light on the wall and under that light was a pile of some material. "You forgot me.. You promised you would love me always, but how could you love what you forget?"
I crawled over to the light and examined the pile closer. Memories were finding themselves rising above the barrier I had put up many years ago.
It was my twin sister Mila and I.
O~~~~~O
I was showing her how to craft small wooden animals out of scrap wood using my pocket knife I carried on me because father always told me how important it was to keep safe. Our dolls interrupted so they could bring us to our favorite room of the mansion. They told us we should play hide and seek in the tunnels. We agreed, of course. We loved the tunnels. The lights were so warming, and playing hide and seek in them took up so much otherwise wasted time. I took Mila's hand as we prepared to go hide, but this time was different. Len and Rin wanted to change the teams so that I was with Len and Mila with Rin.
"Okay." We had both said in confidence.
I stepped to Len and as my hand fell empty of my sister's, she moved to Rin. They were off in a second. It seemed as though we were the seekers for this game.
My golden haired friend looked down at me and spoke with a bright smile. "Alright. You go look for Mila, and I'll try to find Rin!"
I nodded and took off down the nearest glowing path. I cold hear the faint pattering of my sister's steps coming from in front of me. I tried to move with haste, but also in as much stealth as I could. My running became more of a strut once I realized that I was in a part of the tunnels that was completely foreign to me. My mind began playing tricks. I wasn't used to be alone in the tunnels. Much less alone and lost. The lights became fewer and fewer till I was near total darkness. Each breath I took felt like an icy stab to my throat. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood up and I swear I cold have seen my breath had there just been some more light, but I was sweating. I was sweating like a fat man wearing a suit on center stage of a broadway musical who forgot his line. It was the strangest thing.
The worst part wasn't even the bitter coldness or the unexplained sweating, but it was the tick tick ticking in my mind that started. At first I thought it could have just been my walking or even Mila up ahead, but when I stopped to rest, it was still there. Just as loud as if I had been pressing my ear to a type writer. Just a constant tick tick tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Over and over. I started to go nuts. I swear. I'd do anything to stop the freaking ticking. I ended up sitting with my head between my knees for God knows how long in that dark, freezing tunnel. Just listening to the ticking going on in my head.
Just as it began to dim down and I thought my mind was at ease, I heard an echo of small feet against the damp floor of the pathway. Of course the ticking began to grow back. Mila crouched down next to me and lay her hand upon my back.
"Are you alright.." Her voice sounded distant as it was drowned by the tick. I rocked back and forth trying to ease it, but it wouldn't stop. Every time she spoke, the ticking got worse and worse. "Helloooooo. Are you listening to me?"
Of course I was listening. How could I not? All I could do was listen to the tick ticking of each word she spoke. But I didn't answer, and that only made the ticking louder. "Hey! You answer me right now! What's the matter?"
"SHUT UP!" I had never yelled at her before. Not like that. Not out of anger. She was silent. Her hand fell from my back and it began to feel cold again. I thought that if she stopped talking, then the ticking would stop. But no. It was still there. It was faint, but there. I tried to look around me, and by this time my eye were pretty well adjusted. I could see her sitting on the ground with her brown hair covering her face. A glimmer of her white bow reflected off the tiny light on the wall. I tried to find the source of the ticking, and I saw Mila's hands clasped together and her thumbs rolling over top one another. Tick. Tick. Tick. Each loop made a sound.
"Mila.. Wold you please stop that?"
"Stop what?" Tick. Tick.
"That ticking. Please stop."
Tick. Tick. Tick. "I don't know what you mean. I don't hear any ticking." Tick.
"It's plain as day. How could you not hear that?"
"You know.. you should really apologize for yelling at me earlier. That was very mean of you. Mother and father wouldn..." Her words had simply melted into more ticks.
My breathing became unsteady. "If you would please stop that ticking, Mila. I would greatly appreciate it. Please stop."
Tick. "Please." Tick. "Stop." Tick. "Mila..."
Tick. I felt the hard casing of my knife in my pocket. I want her to stop. She won't listen... Just do it. No ones around. It'll make the ticking go away. But.. What would happen after? Nothing. Just the ticking would disappear, right? I want it to go away, and she's not listening.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Ti-
My blade slide into her stomach. I heard her gasp as though caught off guard, but these things should be expected if one does not listen when their brother tells them to stop ticking.
"Mmmnnff... It... Hurtss... Nnelll.." Her aqua eyes met mine in a moment of pure suffering. I could see everything she was going through. Her blood drenched my hand, and as she fell, she landed on me. "Wh... Whhyyy N... Nell?" She was taken over with quick breaths never knowing which would be her last. Her eyes searched my face for answers that I couldn't give her. I didn't know why. Why wouldn't she stop ticking?
"It's.. It's not my fault. I swear. It's not. God, Mila.. It's really not. You.. You have to believe me! The ticking wouldn't stop. Oh quiet now. Just... Just stop bleeding." My face began to grow hot as tears spilled from the rims of my eyes. "Just stop your bleeding. Please, Mila. Oh God.. What's going to happen to you? You gotta stop this. You're going to die on me if you keep this up. Just... Just stop with the bleeding for God's sake! Shhh. Shush. Quiet now. You'll be okay. You just have to stop bleeding. Oh God Mila look at this mess... It's okay, though. You'll be fine. Rin or Len will find us. I promise. They.. They'll find us and fix you up. I promise, Mila. I promise. I promise. I promise..." Her breaths came fewer and farther apart. Till of course that last goodbye.
"Nell. Just.. Don't forget.. Please..." Her tear soaked face contorted for but a moment of struggling and then it was over.
I sat with her on my lap. I didn't want to move. Her body kept bleeding on me. God.. How could one little girl hold so much blood. Her eyes were no longer as beautiful or as full of life. I couldn't take them looking back at me, so I shut them. Now it sorta looked like she was sleeping. And that's what I told myself. She fell asleep and her dress was red today because she had gotten paint all over it. She was always quite messy. Oh yes. And that's what I could tell mother and father. They'll believe me too. Because it must be true. Mila is right here sleeping.
"Miillaaaa~ Neeellll~" I could her are voices in Rin's sing-songy voice.
I smiled. "Over here. Come this way." And for a moment. I thought we were okay. Everything would be fine. But I couldn't help but wonder; If everything is alright, why am I still crying?
Rin and Len saw us together through the dark.
"Nell! What.. What happened?" Rin flew to Mila's side. She took in the scene and began stroking her hair. "Oh no... No no no.. Len.."
I hadn't even noticed that he was standing next to me. "What did you do?"
I sat with them on either side of me and thought for a good answer. But it was so simple. "I just made the ticking go away."
O~~~~~O
"You... I.. I killed you Mila." Her tiny head nodded.
"And they tried helping you." She spoke referring to the toys. "They wanted to make you feel better. Make the pain go away. you wouldn't stop crying. So they took my body and left it here. In hopes you would never find it. They hid me from you, because they were afraid that if you found out the truth again.. You wouldn't want to play with them anymore."
"But... Mom and Dad.. They had to have known."
"Yes. They found out. You still haven't realized it yet, have you? Well. That's alright. You remembered me. That's all I needed. You can't forget me again. Okay?" She smiled at me. She actually smiled. It was the greatest feeling. As though I didn't have to worry anymore. I would have her with me always. Her and that forgiving smile.
She began to fade and the walls of the tunnel closed in on me. It was dark and I was numb. But this was a pleasant numb. I liked this.
O~~~~~O
I began to feel a softness on my finger tips and light entered my view. My eyes rested on a pastel green ceiling. This is a room that I couldn't recognize. I sat up and had realized I was in a bed. My sheets were the same green as, well... Pretty much everything in the room. The walls. The window sill. Actually, now that I looked. There wasn't much to the room. I had a little desk and chair, and there were drawings everywhere. What was this place?
A woman in all white came into my room pushing a cart that had on it, a bowl with some food, a clear drink that I guessed to be water, and something else that I couldn't quite see from where I sat. The girl spoke with a sweet voice. "Good morning, Nell. How did you sleep?"
"...What?"
"That must have been some dream you had last night. You had all the doctors worried about you. Moving an awful lot. You didn't take your pills did you?" She said referring to the tiny plastic saucer that had a couple of white capsules on it. "Well no worries. We'll just give you the shot so you feel back to normal, okay? Just stick out your arm like a good boy now."
I did as she told me to as though I was a dog following orders for no real reason. "Why am I here? What is this place?"
I felt a pinch as the fluids were injected into my body. "Why Nell, you don't remember? I would think you should know where you've been living for the past eight years. This is Broadmoor Hospital. Don't you remember? We've been taking care of you for a very long time, dear. Well. That's done. Go ahead and eat up!"
I watched as the nurse left the room leaving behind the cart with food on it. It was all my mind... I never was home.. Or playing with them. But that is alright. Because I know. I know about Mila. And I will remember her.
I smiled as I brought a spoon full of the oatmeal given to me up to my mouth. I began to hear the voice of honey that came from Rin's mouth finishing her lullaby.
Give me something, hurry, hurry
Hey c'mon, right away
Abandon the notion of having a choice
We'll lure you in with lies, so just slurp the sweet honey
Give me some, hey now, hand it over, right now
Right now!
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Welp. That's that. I really hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it~ Thanks for taking your time to read my work too! I'm going to just work on one story at a time now, that way, if I lose my writing, it'll just be one chapter rather then four or five.
I love you guys and I hope you join me for another story.
-CG ^_^
