Alex knew before the night started that it would be hell. Seeing Sam and Ruby after what happened provoked panic-stricken thoughts. She wasn't sure who it would be harder to be around. Sam made her feel things she didn't want, but Ruby reminded her of what she didn't have. She couldn't live in her happy little bubble with her pretend pseudo family anymore. Not after what was said. She was terrified she would walk into the Arias household with a neon sign on her face that read: I have real feelings for Sam and want to have her babies. Please let me into your family! Alex knew that was being a little dramatic, but it wasn't completely false.
After being rightfully reprimanded for bringing Ruby home Alex realized a couple things. Sam wasn't just some fling. She wasn't just someone to fill the void Maggie left. She wasn't comforting because Alex needed physical comfort. Just like she said when she was hurt. It was comforting because it was Sam. That's how the brunette offered to comfort her, so that's what Alex took. No complaints. Taking a step back forced her to see the big picture. She saw a future with Sam and Ruby. Which was terrifying seeing how badly things ended between her and Maggie. Nonetheless, it happened. Now Alex had to figure out what to do about it.
At first, she was blinded by anger. Anger at herself, anger at Sam. She spent a solid forty-eight hours drinking. Kara by her side the whole time. Not asking questions. Just sitting in support. On the third day, Alex dragged herself to work and Sam came by to apologize. Alex wasn't ready to hear it. She was still angry. When she went home that night she got trashed. Again. She promised Kara she wouldn't- but she did anyway. That was the last day Alex drown her problems in alcohol. After getting over a massive hangover Sam's apology sunk in. Alex's real feelings came to light. She tried to give herself more space. She refused to come to the Christmas party. Then Ruby tried to cancel it. Alex caved and agreed.
Alex was actually having a good time. It helped that she was thrown into helping Sam out from the minefield of glass. Alex couldn't deny the way her throat dried at the godly sight of Sam in her sweatshirt. Ruby brought her to the living room, loosened her up with Christmas carols, then convinced her into wearing a dorky matching sweater. Alex was one hundred percent caught off guard when Sam came down wearing the same one.
Then to top things off, her mother showed up.
Now she had to deal with controlling her reactions in a way that her mother wouldn't question. She was already failing. Her attire alone was enough to clue the older Danvers in that something was going on. Even if it was all Ruby's doing. Alex still went along with it. Just like she went along with Ruby pulling her onto the floor, back pressed against Sam which gave the whole room the view of them acting like a family. Thankfully it seemed to go over Kara's head, but everyone else began exchanging looks. Alex could feel herself slipping. The longer she spent curled with Ruby on her lap and Sam against her back the sadder she got. She missed this, missed them.
Alex had been mindlessly opening her presents. She cautiously picked up a bright yellow package. She read the label and frowned. She already opened a present from Sam. She began ripping into the paper when Sam's knees slammed into her head. Alex hissed and dropped the present. Sam pulled it away from her. She glanced up at the woman who avoided her gaze. Alex didn't believe for a second that the gift wasn't for her. She wasn't going to question Sam in the current company they held though.
Alex clammed up when Sam opened her gift. She almost didn't give it to her. Almost. She just wanted to make Sam happy. She should've expected Ruby to figure out how to drag her along. She would talk to Sam later. If it was really a problem she would come up with an excuse not to go.
The hair on the back of Alex's neck stood up. She turned slowly and caught her mom's piercing eyes on her. She was giving her the look. Alex felt herself deflate. Her mom was disappointed in her, or at least unhappy. Alex let out a sigh and settled against Sam's legs. She mentally prepared herself for whatever lecture her mother was going to throw at her.
The second Ruby finished her gifts Alex got up and fled into the kitchen. She wasn't expecting her mother to follow. She thought she had until they made it back to her apartment. Where they could really hash it out. Apparently, her mother wanted to do this here and now.
"Alexandra, darling, can't you at least pretend to be happy to see me?" Her mother frowned and leaned against the counter.
Alex shrugged, "I don't really like surprises."
"Hm... I thought you just didn't like being caught in a lie."
"A lie?" Alex tilted her head in confusion.
"You said you weren't dating anyone."
"I'm not!"
"That's not what it looks like," Eliza rose an eyebrow.
"Things aren't always as they seem."
"I'm just saying- Ruby doesn't call you Aunt Alex. She is wearing the same sweater as you. Not to mention so is her mother. What are you doing Alexandra? I love you sweetheart, but I don't understand," Eliza's voice carried to her ears. "You said just last month you weren't dating anyone. Now your coaching soccer? Getting horseback riding lessons? Are you seriously using a child to woo her mother?"
Alex flinched at her mother's words. Why did she always think the worst of her?
"I'm not trying to woo anyone," Alex snapped. "Sam is my friend. That's all we'll ever be. I love Ruby for Ruby. Stay out of it. Please."
Eliza cocked her head to the side and took in her daughters profile. Slumped shoulders, sullen face, trembling lip. Alex was on the verge of tears.
"Do you love her mother too?" Eliza asked gently. Alex's eyes widened and she shook her head.
"No. I told you we weren't dating," Alex crossed her arms defensively.
"That's not what I asked." Eliza pushed off the edge of the counter and rested her hands on her daughter's upper arms. "You should tell her. You obviously mean a lot to her. And she couldn't do much better than you," Eliza quipped. Alex slumped even further into her mom's embrace and let her take away some of the pain. She wished it were that simple.
After a couple more minutes of being held Alex gently pushed her mom away. She still wasn't used to her mother actually backing her up. Eliza gave her one last encouraging squeeze before following her into the living room.
Alex stopped beside Sam and shuffled awkwardly next to the brunette. The room was in a hushed silence. She glanced over at Sam and watched color drain from her face.
"What did we miss?" Alex was briefly worried that they had been found out. What else would make Sam panic like this?
After it was clear San wouldn't answer, Ruby spoke up. "We wanna have a sleepover," she answered cheerfully.
"A Christmas sleepover! That sounds amazing!" Kara bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet.
Lena seemed to catch her friend's hesitation. Though unlike Alex, she had no idea why it would be a problem. Alex felt her stomach sinking. She and Sam never crossed the line into sleepovers. At first, it was Alex's hesitance, then it seemed that Sam had the same reservations.
"That would work out well," Eliza chimed in. "I can stay at Alex's apartment and actually get a bed," she said chuckling lightly. Whenever she stayed she had to sleep on the couch. Neither of her girls had guest rooms.
Alex did a mental calculation of the space Sam had available. She had a five-bedroom house. One was a study, one was an in-home gym, Sam's room, Ruby's room, and the last, a guest room. There was literally just enough room for them. Alex's gave Sam her attention again. The panic had seemed to really set in. Sam looked ready to crawl into a hole and hide.
"I wanna sleep with Alex!" Ruby declared. Alex snapped her attention to Ruby. The girl gave her an innocent smile. Alex heard Sam's exhale and soon enough she was agreeing. Alex realized Ruby offered to share a bed with her to put Sam at ease. She knew that Sam didn't want to share a bed with her, but having it confirmed hurt. More than Alex cared to admit.
"I guess this is as good as a time as any to leave then?" Winn gathered his presents and shuffled towards the door. James thanked Sam for hosting and then followed Winn. Alex stood frozen, observing Sam while the house broke out in chaos. Everyone said their goodbyes and soon it was just Lena, Kara, Ruby, Sam, and Alex.
Lena and Sam disappeared into the kitchen. Alex followed Kara and Ruby into the living-room to start a movie. Alex barely sat down before she had an armful of Ruby. Kara heard the popcorn being made and hurried to make sure they didn't burn it.
"Alex?" Ruby's face was mere inches from Alex's face. She was whispering- Alex hoped Ruby remembered that Kara could hear everything.
"What's up?"
"Thank you for coming," Ruby looped her arms around Alex's neck and pressed her face against her shoulder. "Please don't ever leave again." Alex felt her sweater stick to her skin as wetness pooled under Ruby's head. Alex tightened her hold around the now silently crying girl. Alex wanted nothing more than to promise never to ever leave her again. She couldn't though. Sam held all the power in that arena. The thought stirred anger low in her stomach. She was once again reminded that Sam let her get involved. Sam let her fall in love with her family. This right here is why Alex didn't want to come. Why she shouldn't have come.
"Ruby," Alex spoke gently to gather her attention. "I can't promise that things will be the same. I can actually guarantee they won't be..." Alex knew now that things would not work if they kept going how they were before. She needed clear boundaries. Sex friends was too messy. "I can promise that I will love you, and continue to love you for the rest of my life. I'm a phone call away. Rubes, you mean so much to me. I love you kid," Alex felt her throat closing up. She never knew loving someone would hurt this much. She concluded it was because she has never loved a child like she loves Ruby before.
"I love you too," Ruby nuzzled closer to Alex and let out a sigh.
"Who wants hot chocolate?" Kara's cheerful voice filtered into the room. Ruby wiped her nose not so discreetly on her sweater. Alex wrinkled her nose as another twinge went through her heart. Snot was another thing parents willingly dealt with.
"I do!" Ruby reached to take a mug from Kara. Alex shook her head and Kara sat down on the smaller sofa, leaving room for Lena. Sam came in shortly after. Her lips were pursed and her shoulders tense. Lena followed Sam in with concern and worry etched on her face.
Sam sat down at the other end of the sofa and curled her feet under her body. She reached behind her and turned off the lights. The room was engulfed in darkness.
"Mom," Ruby patted the seat next to Alex. "Come cuddle," Ruby urged her closer. Sam's eyes met Alex's in question. Alex wasn't going to do anything that hurt Ruby so she gave her a shrug. Sam tentatively scooted closer. She was close, but not touching. Ruby stretched out across the couch so she was in both woman's laps.
As the movie played people started crashing out. One by one they fell asleep. Lena first, then Ruby. Alex felt Sam sink into her side, resting her head against her shoulder. Alex felt another round of anger rear its head. Sam fit so perfectly next to her. She was giving her so many mixed signals it made her head spin. She seemed upset about the sleepover, and yet she is curled into Alex's side like last week never happened. Kara's eyes were drooping closed as the movie ended. She barely protested when Alex vetoed playing another movie. Kara gently woke Lena. Alex's stomach clenched and she looked away as Lena blinked sleepily and lovingly up at her sister. Alex wanted that. Alex wanted that more than anything.
Alex slid her hand to Sam's shoulder and gently rubbed her back until her eyes fluttered open.
"Alex," she breathed happily. Alex stiffened and gave Sam her best fake smile. Sam must've felt her tense and sat up rather quickly. Ruby still had them pinned to the couch, but Sam was able to give her some space. "Sorry," she mumbled looking down.
"Rubes," Alex ducked down ignoring Sam's apology. She wasn't ready to forgive her for anything yet. "It's time for bed. If we stay on the couch Santa won't come," Alex tickled her sides.
"Alex, no!" Ruby rolled sideways nearly falling off their lap. Alex was quick to pull her close. Ruby cracked open her eyes and buried her face against Alex's stomach.
"Rubbbyyy, yes!"
"Fine," Ruby scooter further into Alex's lap and rested her head on her shoulder. "Let's go," she tightened her hold around Alex's neck.
"You better hold on," Alex warned as she stood up. Ruby giggled and clung to her.
"She has legs," Sam stood up beside them. She didn't want Alex to hurt herself. Ruby was at least half of Alex's weight. If not more. "She can carry herself up the stairs," she added raising an eyebrow at Ruby.
"Are you saying that I can't carry her?" Alex said with a hint of challenge in her voice.
"Shut up Alex, we all know how strong you are. You don't need to prove it," Kara rolled her eyes.
Alex kept her eyes locked on Sam. She wasn't talking about her strength. She was seeing if Sam was going to pull a power play and make her put Ruby down. Because she was her mother. Not Alex. It was childish, but Alex was tired and not thinking clearly.
"I'm saying you don't have to," Sam said gently. Alex's expression softened and she nodded her head.
"Actually you do have too because I'm like a leech. Not going to let go until you pry me off," Ruby grinned.
"You gonna suck my blood too?" Alex teased.
"Eww! No!" Ruby shrieked. "Take me upstairs, my lovely steed!"
"Yes your majesty," Alex adjusted her grip and took the stairs two at a time.
"Can you find Lena and Kara pajamas?" Sam called up the stairs.
"Sure thing," Alex shouted back downstairs. Ruby erupted in giggles as Alex raised her voice. Her mom had a strict no yelling in the house rule.
Lena and Kara exchanged bewildered looks and Sam bit her lip. She had actually directed the question at Ruby, but Alex knew where everything was.
"Great," Sam clapped her hands drawing Lena and Kara out of their silent conversation.
Alex set Ruby down on her bed and exited the room so she could change. She crossed the hallway and entered Sam's bedroom. She saw her discarded sweatshirt from earlier and laid it out on the bed for Sam to wear to sleep. She opened the pajama drawer and began pulling things out. She ran her fingers over one of Sam's silky nighties and sighed. She passed the enticing sleepwear and shut the drawer when she had enough pajamas for everyone. She quickly changed into one of Sam's baggy shirts and her own pajama pants. Then she walked to the guest room and handed Lena and Kara their clothes.
"Aren't those your pants?" Kara looked at the pair of pajama bottoms Alex handed Lena.
"Yeah, I thought they would fit her better," Alex shrugged nonchalantly.
"Were you planning on staying over?" Kara scrunched up her nose in confusion.
"Uh yeah- I was there when we all agreed," Alex crossed her arms. She didn't understand what her sister was getting at.
"No. I mean like before," Kara struggled to explain what she meant. "Those are your pajama pants," she pointed again at the clothing in Lena's hand. "The pair of pants you're wearing are also yours. Which means you either packed clothes because you were planning on staying, or you have a stash of clothes here."
Kara's words sunk in. Lena gave Sam a smug grin and turned back to Alex, "I can't wait to hear this explanation." She grinned. Kara looked at her girlfriend in confusion.
"Oh, right," Alex rubbed the back of her neck. "I already had stuff here," Alex heard Sam suck in a sharp breath. Alex's gaze was steady, trust me on this, Alex hoped her message was conveyed. "When Sam was sick I lived between here and my place. When I was watching Ruby," Alex reminded them. "Our stuff got mixed up. I haven't bothered to gather everything. It's not like I have a shortage of pajamas."
Kara nodded her head while Lena narrowed her eyes. Her sister seemed to buy it. Lena was obviously still on the fence. She shot Sam a look and the brunette just smiled.
"Did you guys need anything else?" Sam asked.
"We're good," Kara grinned. "Thank you for letting us stay!"
"It's my pleasure," Sam smiled tightly. "Goodnight Kara, Lena," Sam didn't even glance at Alex as she exited the guest room.
Alex said a quick goodnight to her sister and Lena before following Sam into the hallway. She followed the sound of voices into Sam's room. She cocked her head in confusion as Ruby laid under the covers. Sam was perched on the edge of the bed beside her.
"I don't need them," Ruby crossed her arms stubbornly.
"Yes, you do. Please?"
"Don't need what?" Alex made her presence known so neither said things she wasn't supposed to hear. Sam jumped and Ruby gave Alex a tired smile.
"We're sleeping in here. Mom gets my bed. Hers is bigger," Ruby pulled back the covers next to her. "And I don't need my headphones tonight."
"You always sleep with them. Please don't fight me on this," Sam pleaded with her daughter. Ruby looked at Alex expectantly for backup.
"These look pretty cool," Alex plucked the headphones from Sam's hands. They didn't look like normal headphones. She couldn't tell what they were used for without testing them out. Ruby shook her head and batted them away.
"You know, if you wear them every night you probably won't sleep as well without them. Your body has gotten into a routine. Humans are habitual creatures," Alex paused to let Ruby absorb her words. "So I'm just saying, you might want to reconsider not wearing them."
Alex tossed the headphones beside Ruby. Sam's eyes were wide with disbelief. Alex ignored her confused gaze and climbed into the bed next to Ruby. Alex pulled the covers around her body and scooted closer to Ruby.
"Mom," Ruby picked up the headphones with a frown. Sam crossed her arms and waited for Ruby to put them on.
"You need to stop taking care of me," Sam said quietly. She slipped the headphones from Ruby's hands and onto her head. "I love you," she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ruby's temple. Then she tucked the covers in around her and smiled softly.
"Goodnight Alex," Sam backed out of the room and hit the lights on her way out.
"Night Sam," Alex responded after she was already gone.
Alex was restless. She had been tossing and turning for the last three hours. Drifting and dozing in and out of consciousness. She was driving herself mad. She just wanted to sleep! Ruby was sleeping like the dead. At first, Alex was afraid to move. She didn't want to keep her up. As soon as Ruby was out she didn't have to worry. She had been contently snoring ever since.
Alex curled on her side and mapped Ruby's face with her eyes. She really did miss this. Her heart already hurt thinking about leaving tomorrow. She wanted to stay wrapped in Sam's bed with Ruby laying an arms length away for eternity. The only thing that would make it better would be Sam laying behind her. Holding her and soothing her to sleep. Alex knew the chances of that happening anymore were minuscule. They haven't exactly talked yet. Sam did apologize, but she wanted her friend back. Her friend Alex. Alex didn't want to be friends anymore. Alex had no idea how to make that transition.
With Maggie, she jumped right in- and she got rejected. Hard. Maggie was the one who came around and asked her out. Alex wasn't sure she could dive in head first again. How does one woo a woman? Alex groaned. She hated that she was late to the party. If she would've figured this out in high school she could've had this all down to a science by now. Alex knew before she could even think about wooing Sam, they had to talk. Talk for real. Alex needed to be able to forgive her. Alex needed to gauge if she was even interested in more. Alex would settle for being allowed in Ruby's life. She would always be there for Sam. She knew that she couldn't be what they were. Not if she didn't want to break herself even further.
Alex sat up in bed as the silent house became a little less silent. Ruby was still quietly snoring. The sounds were coming from outside Sam's bedroom. The whimpers were steadily rising in volume. Her first thought was Kara. It was always Kara. Kara had horrible nightmares when she came to earth. She still sometimes had them about the things she's seen as Supergirl. Alex waited for a second to see if the cries stopped. Lena would be able to calm her sister. The cries continued and Sam's bedroom door nudged open. Kara's blonde hair was matted to her head, blue eyes heavy with sleep.
"Alex? Sam's having a nightmare," Kara mumbled while leaning against the doorframe. Alex was quick to swing her legs out of bed. She made her way silently through the dark room, only the moonlight from the window filtering through. She was efficient in the space, knowing exactly where each and every piece of furniture, squeak of the floorboard and possible tripping hazard was in the room.
"Lena's still sleeping, and I thought you would be the best choice to calm her down," Kara reached or for Alex in the dark. They shut the door behind Alex and talked quietly in the hallway. "You did such a good job with me when we were younger. Having nightmares is embarrassing, or it is for me. She knows you best..." Alex cuts off Kara's rambling by putting her hand on Kara's arm.
"I got her Kar. Go get some sleep. No eavesdropping," Alex nudged Kara towards the guest room. Once her sister was gone Alex took a breath and quietly opened the door to Ruby's room.
Alex momentarily froze at the view in front of her. Tears were sliding down her cheeks, her face twisted in pain, her whole body taught- Alex crept forward slowly. She didn't want to spook the other woman.
"No!" "Stop!" "Please!" Were the only words Alex could make out from Sam's jumbled cries.
"Sam," Alex inched closer. She wasn't afraid of getting hurt. She would be able to fend off any flying limbs. "Sam, it's Alex. Sam, you're asleep. Sam, please come back to me," Alex continued talking to her as she slid onto the edge of the bed. Sam continued thrashing, her cries growing louder. Now Alex's name was thrown into the whimpering mix.
Alex placed a hand on Sam's ankle. She wasn't surprised when Sam immediately tried to kick her off. Alex dodged the sloppy kick and ran her hand from her ankle, up her leg, across her waist, and carefully threaded her fingers through Sam's hair. "Sam, come on sweet girl, please wake up," Alex caught Sam's hand as she swung it towards her in attempt to punch her. She brought her lips to Sam's fist and softly peppered kisses on the knuckles. Alex continued to softly caress Sam's skin and speak sweet nothings in her ear. She was trying to counter whatever violent dream Sam was having.
Sam slowly began leaning into Alex's touch rather than shy away and bat at her hands. Sam let out another whimper and nuzzled into Alex's hand.
"Sam?" Alex knew she was close to waking the other woman up.
Sam's eyes slowly blinked open. They were red-rimmed and glassy. She lifted her chin and met Alex's worried gaze. Sam immediately tried to pull away. She didn't get very far. The bed was pressed against the wall and Alex was on the interior. Sam literally had nowhere to go. Alex tightened her hold on Sam anyway. Sam averted her gaze and curled into herself. She looked so small and vulnerable.
"How long have they been going on?" Alex asked gently. She already had a pretty good idea that they have been happening since Reign. Sam stayed silent. "Sam, please talk to me."
"They've always been going on," Sam gave a small shrug. "Since Reign," She unnecessarily clarified.
"That's why Ruby wears those headphones," Alex acknowledged. "You could've told me. I would've tried to help."
"Right, because we totally talk about that kind of stuff," Sam said dryly.
"Well- I mean, we haven't... but we could," Alex offered. She was trying really hard not to be put off by Sam's behavior. She knew the other woman was just lashing out in embarrassment. No matter how much Alex wanted to be angry. She couldn't be. Not while looking at Sam's tear-stained cheeks, shivering body, and hearing the echoes of her cries in her mind. Now was not the time to discuss what happened. They were both exhausted and Sam was in emotional overload.
"Yeah?" Sam said softly finally turning to look at Alex.
"Of course."
The two women sat in uncomfortable silence. The seconds ticked by. Alex wasn't going to push Sam to talk. Sam's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Her jaw set and her eyes clouded over. Alex watched helplessly as Sam struggled to speak.
Alex very slowly lowered her body to the mattress. She pressed closer to Sam gauging her reaction. She knew Sam would never ask her to stay, nor would she ask for physical comfort. She slipped an arm around Sam's waist when there was no protest. Alex's whole body aligned behind Sam's and she pressed as close as she could.
"All I see is fire. The world burning. Everyone I love is gone. I see every single person I killed. Their blood on my hands. I just sit there- I just watch as it all happens," Sam's voice was tight. Alex stroked Sam's hair urging her to continue. "I hurt so many people. It doesn't matter that it really wasn't me. I can see their faces. After separating from Reign everything came flooding back. All of that missed time, playing like a movie in my head. I just- Alex so many people were hurt. She used my body to do it," Sam's trembling got worse.
"Shh, shh," Alex gently hushed Sam. "It's all just a nightmare Sam. It's not real. It wasn't you. You're safe. It might not seem like that, but it's true. You'll get through this. We'll get through this," Alex's mouth was pressed against the shell of Sam's ear. She felt Sam become pliable in her arms. Sam pressed closer and her breathing soon matched Alex's.
"Alex, I-" Sam's breath hitched. "Thank you. For everything. I'm really glad that we're friends," Sam murmured sleepily. Alex's fingers stilled in Sam's hair. Sam tilted her head to see Alex.
"I'm glad we're friends too," Alex said as normally as she could. "Get some rest. I'll stay right here," Alex buried her nose in Sam's hair just so she didn't have to keep looking at her. A couple tears slid down Alex's cheek when Sam confirmed what deep down Alex already knew. Sam would only ever see her as a friend.
After tonight, whatever this was- it would never be the same. Alex wouldn't let this destroy her.
Alex stared blankly down at her phone. She wasn't sure how long she had been doing so, but it was longer than she was proud of.
The text came out of the blue.
Alex read through the message again, Danvers! I'm in town for a case. Mind if we catch up over coffee?
How was she supposed to respond to that? Did she want to see Maggie again? Had it been long enough? Was she healed?
Alex realized there was really only one way to find out. She had to go. She had to meet with Maggie and see if she was over her. Alex knew she was very attached to Sam. What she didn't know was whether she stopped loving Maggie. She wasn't sure she was even capable of not loving her. If she shot Maggie down now she might never get another chance to check. Just because she didn't need the information pertaining Sam didn't mean she didn't want to know. For future reference. Even if the thinking that physically hurt. She didn't want anyone but Sam.
Unfortunately, it wasn't completely up to her. She and Sam fell into the same routine pre-argument. Well, almost the same routine. They still tiptoed around the touchy subjects and haven't resumed bedroom activities. Alex spent most of her time at the Arias house with Ruby. She didn't come over for one on one time anymore. She got an occasional call in the middle of the night to talk her down from a nightmare. Their friendship had turned into an actual friendship. Alex respected the boundaries. Last time she pushed them she didn't like the results.
Alex sent her reply to Maggie and tucked her phone away.
Tuesday morning rolled around and Alex felt oddly calm. The prospect of seeing Maggie didn't induce panic. She was actually more curious than anything. About how Maggie was doing and how she would feel seeing her. At this point, Alex really wasn't sure.
She rode her bike to the cafe and arrived ten minutes early. She wasn't surprised that Maggie was already there. She spotted the shorter woman immediately. Maggie raised her head and looked at the door when the bell rang upon her entrance. Alex was greeted with a shy, dimpled smile.
Maggie met her halfway to the table she sat at and engulfed her in a hug. Alex sunk into the warm embrace and drew her smaller body to her own a little tighter than intended.
"Woah there," Maggie pulled back in concern. "You okay there, Danvers?"
"I.. uh, I guess I missed you," Alex looked down at her hands. She hadn't meant to make things awkward. She just realized how badly she needed a hug. A very friendly hug from her friend. It quickly dawned on Alex that her stomach didn't swoop, her nose didn't immediately go to the crook of Maggie's neck, and she didn't feel like she was embracing a lover. A smile involuntarily spread across Alex's face. Maggie squeezed her hand to get her attention. Alex's shifting moods was giving her whiplash.
"Danvers?"
"Your hand is too small," Alex looked at their entwined fingers in awe. "I mean.. they are proportional for you- and they are lovely hands. I just mean..."
"You met someone," Maggie interrupted with a genuine smile.
"Pfft, no," Alex shook her head.
Maggie rolled her eyes, "I thought we were done with the whole hiding thing."
"I'm not hiding," Alex defended herself. She followed Maggie to the table she was previously occupying. "I'm just... not actively pursuing the said person," Alex shrugged. Talking about Sam with Maggie was weirdly not weird.
"Why the hell not?" Maggie cocked an eyebrow.
"Because... well," Alex frowned. How did she explain exactly why she wasn't pursuing Sam?
"This is going to be good," Maggie leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.
"It's not that interesting," Alex insisted. "We are friends-"
"We were friends first," Maggie butted in.
"If you keep interrupting me I won't talk." Alex waited until Maggie was silent before continuing. "Like I said, we are friends. And she's made it clear that she wants to stay friends. She's been through a lot. Messing up what we have going just isn't worth it."
"What?" Alex asked after Maggie remained silent. Her skin prickled hotly as Maggie continued to seemingly stare into her soul.
"That sounds a whole lot like bullshit," Maggie sipped her coffee. "But- I really can't argue with you without meeting this friend of yours."
"Yeah, no. That's not happening," Alex answered immediately. She didn't even tell Sam about meeting Maggie today. It wasn't a big deal, but she felt the need to hide it anyway. It's because you have a shred of hope that she wants you like that, Alex thought. She didn't want Sam to get the wrong impression. Besides, they haven't exactly figured out how to communicate normally. Alex didn't want to shake things up even more.
"You wound me," Maggie playfully held her chest.
Alex had a response on the tip of her tongue when her phone went off. Alex's face flushed as the song 'Wannabe', by Spice Girls filled the tiny cafe. Alex could feel people's eyes on her as she fumbled to silence it. I'm going to kill Ruby, Alex scowled.
"I have to take this," Alex said when she saw Sam's name on caller ID.
"Sure thing, go ahead," Maggie snorted not bothering to conceal her amusement.
"Hey, what's up?"
"It's Ruby."
"What's wrong?" It wasn't the fact that Ruby was calling off of Sam's phone. It was the tone of her voice. Alex could tell she was trying to keep it together.
"We're at the hospital," Ruby whispered out. Her words hit Alex like a ton of bricks. "You need to come. They are... they said they want me to wait with a social worker."
"Where's your mom?" Color drained from Alex's face and her voice squeaked in concern. Alex was trying to stay calm for Ruby. She needed to, but she was so scared. Her world felt like it was collapsing on itself. "Ruby, is she okay?"
"Yeah, I mean, she is still unconscious. They said she will wake up. She hit her head. I don't like seeing her here. Can you please come?"
Alex realized she never answered Ruby's question, "of course. Text me her room number. Stay calm. I'll be there soon."
"I love you," Ruby sniffed.
"I love you too," Alex hung up the phone and slipped it into her pocket.
"Woah- slow down," Maggie stood up as Alex threw on her coat and scrambled for her keys. Her hands shook and tears blurred her vision. "Alex, stop." Maggie put a hand on her arm. Alex tried to shrug her off and push past, but Maggie expected it. Maggie tightened her hold and forced Alex to look at her.
"Let go, Maggie," it came out as a low growl.
"Put your keys away. I'll take you," Maggie said firmly. She saw the gleam of defiance in Alex's eyes. "Put them away Alex. Don't make me fight you for them. It'll be faster if you just agree with me."
"Fine," Alex spit and shoved her keys in her pocket. She followed closely behind Maggie out. She didn't even think to drop cash on the table. Luckily, Maggie did. Maggie brought her to a rental car and started towards the hospital the second they were in the car. Alex's hand gripped her seat, knuckles turning white. It took every ounce of control to not start sobbing.
"What happened?" Maggie asked cautiously.
"Don't know. Didn't get that far. I didn't want to upset Ruby."
"Ruby? Is that her daughter?" Maggie had already pieced together that the call was about Alex's mystery friend.
"Mags, can we not talk," Alex leaned her head against the cool window and focused on breathing.
Maggie stayed quiet for the rest of the car ride. She barely had the car in park before Alex was jumping out. Maggie hurried after her. She didn't know how bad it was and didn't want Alex to go at it alone.
Alex gave her information to the ER desk and was pointed in the right direction. She saw Ruby sitting in a chair outside of what seemed to be Sam's room. She was glaring up at what Alex presumed to be a social worker.
"Alex!" Ruby leaped out of the chair and barreled towards the redhead. Alex gave Ruby a tight squeeze.
"You're the fiancé?" The social worker asked. Alex realized it was probably the only way Ruby would be released into her custody. She gave a quick nod.
"Who's that?" Ruby peered over Alex's shoulder at Maggie.
"Oh, that's..."
"Maggie Sawyer," Maggie responded. She gave Ruby a willing smile. The girl narrowed her eyes and tightened her hold on Alex. "Alex's friend," Maggie added shuffling on her feet from Ruby's icy demeanor.
"Oh." Ruby let go of Alex and sat back down in her chair. Alex was already seeking out the doctor. She didn't notice Ruby's change.
"Watch her for a second," Alex brushed past Maggie.
"I- what? Alex!" Maggie sighed as the other woman disappeared.
Alex listened numbly as the doctor explained Sam's condition. She was in a car accident. It was considered minor. She hit her head when the airbag didn't deploy. She was supposed to wake up soon.
Once Alex had all the information, she wanted to see Sam. See her alive and breathing with her own eyes. She rushed past Ruby and Maggie into Sam's room. She stopped at the edge of the hospital bed. Sam had a gash on her forehead, bruising around the wound, and looked overall sickly. Alex hated how closely it looked to when she was strapped down as Reign.
Alex pulled up a chair next to the bed. She pulled Sam's hand into her own. She calmed as she felt the rhythm of her pulse. Alex listened to Maggie and Ruby speaking in low voices. She hoped everything was going okay out there. She couldn't pull herself away from Sam though.
It only took a couple minutes before Sam's eyes fluttered open. She groaned and struggled to sit up.
"Sam! Hey," Alex stood up and leaned over her. "Look at me. Can you talk?" Alex's doctor side was taking over.
"You came," Sam said hoarsely.
"Of course I came," Alex squeezed her hand.
"Mom?" Ruby said from the doorway.
"Come here baby," Sam held open her free arm. Ruby carefully climbed onto the cot and burrowed into Sam's side. Alex gave them a warm smile. Her thumb absently brushed circles against the back of Sam's hand.
"Maggie went to get coffee," Ruby spoke up. After talking to Maggie she didn't see the woman as a threat. She grudgingly kind of liked her.
"Maggie?" Sam's eyebrows furrowed and she turned towards Alex. "Maggie is here?" She yanked her hand out of Alex's grip and narrowed her still glassy eyes.
Oh shit, Alex's eyes widened. This looks really bad Danvers. You fucked up...
