In the Middle Before Beginning
Chapter 7
The following morning Darcy rose and immediately summoned his valet – he nervously dressed and dismissed the man before inspecting his appearance in the mirror. He had been raised to prepare for his day as efficiently and practically as possible, vanity was distasteful and a failing – so he rarely glanced at his reflection for longer than a moment. On this morning, however, he wanted to look his best.
He was eager to begin the day – hours of waiting and idleness were not suited to his disposition. The evening before had been the worst of it, though Fitzwilliam had done his best to occupy Lady Catherine and leave Darcy to himself.
Their aunt was filled with complaints - she did not think all of this coming and going was particularly needed and would hear none of the fabricated reasons, instead lecturing them for several hours over it. She was so agitated, that Darcy again delayed telling her of his upcoming nuptials - he was sure she would not have heard anything he had said any way.
He hoped, now that she had rested, to find her more receptive to such news.
Lady Catherine did not sleep late – nor did she tolerate such behaviour of her family, staff or guests. Considering this, the main house of Rosings was too quiet as Darcy sought out his aunt. The silence unnerved him, like hunting a sleeping, dangerous beast. But he found her, alert and alone in her favourite morning room.
"Well," she finally barked after a few moments of tense silence, "what is it you have come to say?"
Darcy could not be sure why she had any expectation from him. Succinctly, and unemotionally, he informed her of his plans for the day. As he spoke, she made no appearance of any emotion in return. Lady Catherine instead stared at the tapestry on the far wall for minutes. Several times, he thought she intended to speak, but she did not. He had thought she might be shocked or opposed to the news, but the lack of immediate response made him guarded and quiet.
Lady Catherine was a shrewd woman, she witnessed how both of her nephews were drawn to the Bennet girl, though she could not understand why. She had been prepared to correct an attachment on the Colonel's behalf, but thought her other nephew unlikely to earnestly pursue such a connection. This pronouncement by Darcy was vexing, though being not inclined to exert emotion in most circumstances, she kept her features neutral. In silence, they both stood - he wondering how next to act, and she considering how best to rectify the situation.
It did occur to her that the gossip which had spread about the pair only days ago was now true. She had find a way to extricate Darcy from the dishonourable match that was apparently being made to save the girl's honour, but such disgraceful circumstances would not be tolerated.
If she had more time – Lady Catherine would have appealed to his respect for his family, targeting the guilt he likely suffered for disregarding their familiar plans and responsibilities. A secret engagement could have been set aside without complication if they had acted early enough. The extent of organization in this match made the course ineffective.
With a weaker-minded person, Lady Catherine might have simply imposed her will – but she had dueled with Darcy once before (over his father's bequests and the guardianship of Georgiana) and found him a stubborn opponent. She could not create a fuss and expect him to conceded his position – in fact it could make him cling tighter to the Bennet girl as a wife.
It quickly became apparent that there was no matter in which Lady Catherine could thwart the day's events without public knowledge and embarrassment. This did not mean she had to accept the arrangement though, and feeling some confidence in this, she stood.
"I suppose then that you must bid your farewells this morning."
Darcy was also skillful in withholding his feeling, though it was not the response he had expected. "I had thought you would care to attend the ceremony…" he began.
"No, I do not," came her stern response. Lady Catherine attempted to remain cordial despite her disapproval – she did not wish to sever the family connections just yet. She wanted to say more - so very much more, but on this rare occasion she held her tongue. She believed that there would come a time when Darcy might regret this day, and she would be in position to assist him where she could. "I will have Dawson ensure your carriage is prepared to leave on the conclusion though."
The dismissal was made clear, and though Darcy felt the force of it, he also felt some relief. All close family had been informed, and the rest would know soon enough. He had not expected his aunt, or any of his family, to rejoice in his marriage to Elizabeth - but at least now he could accomplish his hopes without further scenes was comforting. He could only hope that in time others in his family could accept Elizabeth as his wife the way that Fitzwilliam and Georgiana so readily did.
He gave a brief bow and began to leave the room - as his steps progressed, he began to rethink this though. That he had received no argument on the point from Lady Catherine gave him pause - why had his family either so readily accepted his bride or chosen not to assert the response he had once expected from them? The concern irritated him so, that he sought Colonel Fitzwilliam, hoping that his cousin might offer some encouragement.
At the necessary hour, Darcy and the Colonel made their way to the chapel. Colonel Fitzwilliam had been delighted to undertake the role of easing any of Darcy's possible agitation and continued his endeavours while they walked. He felt it had been his position for the length of their time in Rosings, and to support his cousin in marrying Elizabeth Bennet that day would be the final act.
"You did not speak, yesterday, of the nature of Mr Bennet's letter – only that you had his consent." He began, " was the gentleman pleased? Will you be received in Hertfordshire with more warmth than Rosings cares to offer?"
He meant to tease, having noted the huffy manner in which Lady Catherine had seen them off that morning. Fitzwilliam had generously suggested, when he learned that she would not attend the ceremony, that their aunt might receive the new Mrs Darcy for a small wedding breakfast - but she had disapprovingly dismissed that too. The effect of his words now, was quite the opposite of consoling or entertaining – Darcy was reminded of his other apprehensions, he had all but forgotten them when he woke that morning.
"Mr Bennet has invited us to Longbourn, though I cannot say what the reception will be or how soon we might go there." Darcy answered stiffly.
His resolve was now tested in too many directions – Elizabeth's cool, almost too quiet manner on their reunion he could excuse as nerves, but now with Lady Catherine's response as well as Mr Bennet's impudent letter, he wavered. It was rare for him to be indecisive, but it was also so unlike him to act rashly or against his better judgement. As the hour of their nuptials drew closer, his confidence in them weakened.
Elizabeth had felt fortunate that Charlotte and Maria were there that morning, to help her dress and do her hair. Apprehension had surged through her from the moment she had opened her eyes – the details were all wrong for a wedding day- a husband-to-be who was part stranger, part opponent, in a place that was not her home, without her family. She had the small consolation that if it was not her sisters fussing over her curls, it was at least her dear friend.
Mr Collins had left early to prepare and meet the gentlemen, and any possible guests – Elizabeth thought it unlikely that she would be married in front of a crowd - but it meant that he was out of the house. Once they were ready, the ladies prepared to walk to the chapel together, but were stopped just outside the parsonage by Mr Darcy coming from the other direction.
All three looked at him in surprise, but it was only to Elizabeth he looked.
"I wondered if I might speak with you, before we," he paused awkwardly, "begin?"
She accepted, attempting to placate the alarmed looks from Charlotte and Maria with a smile. Her mind was a whirlwind of questions, but they swept away all of her earlier disquiet – her composure grew with the need for rational thought. Mr Darcy appeared to be as agitated as she had been feeling, and that also gave her comfort.
At first, she thought he was waiting until Maria and Charlotte were out of earshot, but her friends had stood by the gates for several moments and he remained mute. Elizabeth grew impatient.
"Forgive me sir, but I do believe we will be wanted in the chapel very soon."
"Indeed," he agreed, and she noticed how his eyes swept over her with admiration. "I hope it is permissible for me to say that you look lovely."
"I thank you," Elizabeth flushed under his scrutiny and attempted to redirect his attention. "Do you not think that there might be a better time for this?"
Neither seemed in any rush to move though, and for different reasons. Darcy, now, was determined to not begin until he was satisfied in knowing the view of bride - but he could not easily find the words to ask of her. "My aunt will not be in attendance today. And I am afraid that we must depart from Kent once we are married."
"Very well," Elizabeth replied, amazed that he had expected their position to be anything else – she certainly hadn't.
"I thought you might care to know why we shall head straight to London after the ceremony, instead of having a wedding celebration here."
"I am not particularly concerned with such details this morning, Mr Darcy." Elizabeth added wryly.
At this, he stepped closer and spoke quietly, "Elizabeth, do you have other concerns on this day?" He was encouraged by the return of her usual wit and reassuring smile. If she was certain about this, then he could be too.
"Not at all, I can assure you, sir - I simply do not wish to be tardy for my own wedding." She had stepped away from him slightly though, and if he was not studying her so carefully he would have be fooled by her performance. She was not likely to be a meticulous bride, especially given that the nature of their day.
"Elizabeth, I, " again he paused, taking up her hand and carefully considering his words. "You know of my feelings for you - they have not changed, though I had begun to believe that yours had for me. But now... - I do not wish to proceed unless..."
Elizabeth took a deep breathe and looked up at her husband-to-be thoughtfully. Days ago, she had rejected his proposal, then forced them into this situation. What she knew of him - he was not the man she had thought to marry, but she might have been too opinionated to properly know him then. Regardless she saw no eventuality that could be positive from this day, if they did not marry. She had to reassure him but also was required to tell the truth.
"Mr Darcy," she began, and then offered a quiet, "Fitzwilliam, " which made him give a small smile, before she started gently, "I have learnt that I did not really know you days ago, and I have made my decisions too rashly in that time. Though I would not say I share your depth of feelings, I now have more respect for you. I hope that in time, it will allow me some affection. You must know, as there are still unresolved arguments between us, I cannot be entirely certain. Perhaps they will be settled once we know each other better, but I cannot promise that. For now all I can offer in response to your regard is appreciation, support and esteem."
There was a small look of disappointment in Darcy's eyes at this, but Elizabeth had begun, and she was now determined to continue with the point she had most reflected on since reading her father's letter. "And there is something you must understand - now and always. I know that you believe my acquaintances to be beneath your notice - perhaps they are not as fashionable or mannerly. But I will not be separated from my family and friends, even if we are married."
A frown clouded Darcy's features but he did not speak, allowing her to finish. "I know that if we do not wed today, I will not escape all social disgrace, though you will likely be spared. But I do not wish to move forward for the sake of my honour, it has been a circumstance of my own doing - I am fully prepared for any consequence of it."
Having confessed all this, she felt drawn to take his hand in her own and step closer, if only to emphasize her last point. "What I am sure of, now - despite all of the concerns we have fought over - is that I have been fortunate in your offer, and hope for happiness as your wife. So, if you can accept my family and my respect, then I will gladly marry you."
Mr Darcy did not look pleased, and said nothing as he thought over what she had just expressed. It was Charlotte, calling from the gate that interrupted them then. He mutely offered Elizabeth his arm, and the four walked to the chapel together. Mr Collins and the Colonel were surprised to find Darcy accompanying his bride, but it was mostly inconsequential - with such a small gathering most conventions were ignored. The ceremony would have been brief, if not for Mr Collins. He was determined to lecture the couple on the virtues of a good, christian marriage. Luckily, he had also noticed the absence of his patroness, and as neither Colonel Fitzwilliam or Mr Darcy had directly explained to him why Lady Catherine had not been present - he was more concerned about her than the couple before him. Mr Collins' worry over her Ladyship's health (for what other reason could prevent her from attending a nephew's wedding), meant that he did keep the ceremony to under a half hour.
Elizabeth had found herself inattentive to the ceremony - having finally spoken her mind to Mr Darcy, she was absorbed by wanting some response from the gentleman. Darcy had kept a stern look about him as they entered the chapel and also seemed too preoccupied to listen to Mr Collins. They both performed the words and acts without much diligence. At the conclusion though, they were roused into signing their names on the parish registry and walking out of the chapel, arm in arm together. There was a brief celebration outside as they were congratulated by their company, and Darcy was teased into pecking Elizabeth's cheek. Barely an hour had passed since they came together that morning, and then he was handing her into their carriage. They were soon alone on the road for London.
A/N: Hello! I'm so relieved to have finally got this chapter written, I've been stuck on it for a while. Poor Darcy gets his feet a little cold and then finds out that Lizzy barely likes him still - it wasn't a very nice way to marry! Thank you for reading and for all those reviews about the last chapter (I'm glad I managed to capture Mr Bennet's voice - it will come in handy soon! *hint hint*)
Not promising any thing- but I have started to write future chapters for this story, and now that my mojo is back I will hopefully get things moving again after this brief (haha it was not brief) hiatus. Thanks to any one who was patiently waiting!
