Sixth year, Lily pov

"How are you?" Remus asked. We both deliberately hung back in the prefect carriage while everyone else headed for their duties. I don't know if they didn't notice or didn't care but I was grateful to be alone with Remus.

"I'm fine" I said dismissively. Standing I reached for the open window stopping the brisk wind from outside.

"No, you're not" he said almost in time with the window rattle.

"Probably not" I agreed, smiling at him. Being back with Remus could almost feel like going back in time to earlier the summer. Things were better then. Not good but better.

"You'll be home again in no time" Remus said, stretching his legs forward. He knew how important getting to spend time at home was, especially now.

"Exactly," I breathed, "thanks for all the times you came to visit me"

"Even the times I brought James?"

"Just…I wanted Dad to see how happy I was in school, I'm not sure why but I think he liked it"

"He liked James or meeting us?"

"Both, sadly" I grumbled.

"Yeah, I thought so" he said with a nervous voice.

"Why did you bring him?" I smiled, leaning forward to make him look at me.

"Well if me Peter and Sirius were there, what were you going to do?"

"I didn't exactly invite them either" I sad raising my eyebrow.

"At least your Dad think's your popular"

"Uh," I laughed, "I can't argue with that"

"And they didn't fight with Snape"

"Miracles do happen" I agreed, Mum loved having a house full so I didn't really mind.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you since the funeral" he said abruptly.

"You didn't have to come to that" I answered gently, very glad he had been there.

"I did" Remus said finally.

"It's been a bit crazy, honestly don't worry about it Re"

"Okay" I listened to his voice, it was odd to hear him nervous around me again. I didn't talk knowing there was something he wanted to say as we sat in silence apart from the rain and wind around our empty carriage.

"I need to talk to you," he continued, "I've been lying to you"

"About going home to visit your Mum?" I asked. Trying to keep it casual as both of our eyes darted around the carriage worried someone may overhear.

"You knew?" he replied, a nervous look on his face as he turned away.

"I suspected" I agreed, quickly using a non-verbal spell that Severus had taught me to make sure no one passing could hear.

"Why?"

"Honestly, you just would never talk to me about it and you'd want to talk to someone else going through it"

"Yeah it's just I felt so, s-so guilty talking about the lie you were living"

"I know and that's why I never pushed you" I replied gently. Even if he had been lying to me for years I still trusted him more than most.

"So, uh there's more" he cleared his throat. I watched him closely, I could see his mind working so fast wondering if it was the right thing to do.

"There had to be for you to lie" I said, trying to be kind as possible with my words as he debated what to tell me.

"We don't have to stay friends"

"I've known you far too long for that rubbish"

"Lily," he said looked me in the eyes, "I'm a werewolf"

"Re-Re," I said looking at him even though he turned away, "I thought so"

"You…" his jaw went slack. It was funny to see how he'd said he first part so fast and so determinedly he could quickly change to the nervous slow. It was like he had to get it out and was expecting me to storm off.

"I suspected," I sighed, "there was just a few things that meant I couldn't shake the idea"

"Yeah but…" Remus froze. I waited a second to make sure I would not be interrupting him before I replied. I wondered what made him tell me now as we sat in the empty carriage. Why on earth my father passing would spur this confession I did not understand. I tried not to care about the why and just listen, that is what friends are for after all.

"No, when I made the joke in second year I didn't know, I didn't even know werewolves were real and I felt so beyond guilty because weather you were or not I'd said something that many would see as insulting"

"I'm not sure what you should have done either"

"Good!" I said, I finally hugged him, holding him tightly even though there was a lot more to say.

"I'm sorry I lied but it's been such a big secret my whole life"

"That's the impression I've been given," I say taking his hand, "although I don't see why"

"I'm a monster, that's why" everything about his body was tense.

"Hey, how many monsters with cute little nick names do you know Re-Re Moony?"

"Yeah" he said, snorting slightly despite himself.

"Remus John Lupin, you're still the same person and you always will be"

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, you're still the sneaky amazing, kind and hardworking boy who has become one of my best friends in the world and I don't think anything could ever change it"

"Even this?"

"Even something you can't change? Something that doesn't affect you most days? Your still Remus to me"

"But Lily…"

"We all have our bad days; you just have set bad days" I grinned, trying to cheer him up.

"How did you work it out?" Remus asked, as if he didn't want to hear anything nice or comforting I had to say.

"I'm not sure Remus, something just clicked. I started reading about werewolves the conversation played on my mind – you know the one where I called you a werewolf? At first I was thinking about how bad it was I'd called you that when they were a real thing"

"A bad real thing"

"No, Re, that's not true." I said firmly, "I'm not sure why it connected but something made sense with the days you travelled home when I realised they weren't even monthly they were moonly…is that a word?"

"I don't know" he smiled.

"So, I don't know I tried to tell myself you couldn't be but it secretly made sense" I sighed, eyes darting to the rain covered window behind him. "I've thought about this far too long to think we shouldn't be friends anymore"

"Not doing great at hiding it?" I took his hand to feel his sweaty palm.

"I'm probably just paying too much attention" I said trying to cheer him up.

"Nosey, is the word your looking for"

"Still friends?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Why wouldn't I stay friends with you?"

"Who knows" I answered. I knew Remus wasn't completely comfortable with physical contact but I felt it was right. "Maybe because I'm basically been lying right back to you? Not exactly the best basis for a friendship"

"Don't be silly Lily"

"Don't be silly Re-Re" I repeated, hoping I could show him how little his lie meant to me. Assuming my pretending back did not insult him.

"Is this why you've been helping me with my homework? Because you knew?" I could feel him watching the back of my head, his heart beating fast still.

"Partly," I nodded, "although if your original story was true I'd have started helping"

"You're a good friend Lils"

"Well I couldn't help in any other way so no matter what was wrong I wanted to help you," I said honestly, "Who else knows?"

"James, Sirius, Peter and some of the teachers"

"So, I need to keep my mouth shut?"

"Yes, please"

"I know how to keep a secret"

"What like the secret that you know my secret?"

"Exactly" I smirked looking up at him.

"Is it going to make you too happy if I say you realised before the Marauders?" he smiled back.

"I assumed I had, they are idiots" I shrugged.

"They worked it out in third year"

"Wait, so does this mean it's the first time you've actually told someone?"

"Yes, actually" he said as if only just realising himself.

"See, I knew you liked me"

"Of course I like you"

"So am I going to find out about the Marauders and all the stupid nicknames or is that another year in the making?"

"Another six maybe" he laughed, I heard him sniff.

"Thank you" he said finally.

"You don't need to thank me, you need to tell the Marauders I found out first," I smiled looking in to his dark old before his time eyes, "you are a wonderfully talented, clever, annoyingly sarcastic, trouble making person I've ever met and nothing will change that"

"Lily" he said, nothing but shock and nerves on his face. My eyes darted to a scar above his eyebrow and wondered how he managed to cope with this. All this he has to go through and lives the most normal life he can. All this going on outside school and he still cares about me and losing my father.

"I know" I said, I'd left it a long time as he waited to speak. I could tell he wasn't ready as I was not quite ready to tell him everything I was thinking even if it was just praise. I didn't give him much of a choice as I gave him a back breaking hug. All I knew was we were done talking for now it had been pretty overwhelming for me. I couldn't start to imagine how Remus felt.