"Oh!" said the human figure.
"Hello?" said Violet Baudelaire.
"Oh, you must be three of Arwen's adoptees." Violet could see that the speaker was one of Arwen San Conflegro's employees, and she remembered that this was Victor or Victoria. They were still wearing their purple suit, which covered their hair as well as the rest of their body.
"Yes, I'm Violet and this is my sister Sunny, and this is Duncan Quagmire, he's going to be living here too," said Violet, gesturing towards the door where Duncan was still standing.
"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you Duncan. You can call me Victor or, if you like, Victoria. Isn't this starting to become quite a family! Oh, but I see that you're wearing the same clothes that you were wearing yesterday. Arwen has asked me to tell you that he is sorry for overlooking this matter yesterday, but that you will have new clothes tomorrow. I will lay them out in your rooms for you." Victoria walked over to the children, their feet making no noise whatsoever as they strode across the wooden studio floor. "Oh it is a pleasure to meet you all, Violet, Sunny and Duncan."
Victor shook each of the children's hands in turn, before silently striding back to the bench they had been leaning over.
"Sorry to have interrupted you," said Violet, who was well-mannered. "We were just going to have a look around the workshop, but if you're busy here we can come back later."
"Oh no, it's no trouble. I was just looking at some angles that I might be able to use for our next film, but I'm finished now so please yourselves. I'm an actor, you see, but I'm also a part-time cinematographer. My job in Arwen San Conflegro's films is to make it look like things are happening when really they aren't."
"I see," said Violet, placing Sunny on the ground so that she could search the workshop for something she would like to bite. Ordinarily, a workshop is no place for babies, but Sunny had spent time in a lumbermill, a cage hanging from a very high tower, and in the office of a very bad violin player, so her older sister wasn't worried about her.
"That sounds like a very interesting job," said Duncan. Duncan was a budding journalist, and he was glad of the opportunity to interview somebody with an interesting career.
"Oh yes, it is. It is interesting developing new techniques for filming, and cinematography is a very important part of the film-making process."
"What techniques are you working on now?"
"Oh, at the moment I'm looking at angles. You can make something look like almost anything else by using the right angles. For instance, see where Violet is standing, I'm going to take this anvil, and hold it up here. What does it look like to you?"
Duncan thought that it looked like a woman holding an anvil, and said so.
"Oh come over here, and stand behind this bench, and crouch down like this. No, not like that, like this. Ok now hold you hand up like this, pretending it's a movie camera. Now what does it look like?"
"I guess it looks like Violet is standing on the table, and she's very small, and the anvil is very large."
"Oh yes, that's exactly right. Now if we painted a background to look like the other half of the table, Violet really would look miniature."
"I suppose she would," said Duncan, standing up.
"Oh and don't forget there are lots of other techniques that a cinematographer can use. There are matte shots, stop tricks, different coloured filters, models, miniatures, and a technique I invented myself, called the Victcut. But the angles are always very important, no matter which technique you use."
While Duncan had been speaking to Victoria, Violet had started looking around the studio. There were all sorts of wonderful machines and pieces of machines that she could imagine all sorts of uses for, as well as a small hole in the wall with some cables, that looked like a miniature elevator shaft.
"What is this?" she asked Victor, walking over to the device. Victoria glided over to where Violet was standing, and told her.
"A dumb what?" said Violet.
"Oh, a dumb waiter is a little pulley system to send things up and down. You might find them in big old mansions with servants, so the servants can send up meals to diners upstairs. We use it here to send props and other things to the studio down below, and once we used it as a model elevator shaft."
Violet looked at Duncan, and they both thought back to their recent shared experiences of elevator shafts.
"Oh would you look at the time, I'd better be going," said Victor. "Enjoy exploring the workshop Violet, bye bye Sunny, and nice to meet you Duncan."
"Likewise," said Duncan, still writing in his commonplace book.
Victoria left the room, leaving the two children alone.
"They seemed like an interesting person," said Duncan, but Violet gave no reply. "Violet?"
"Look at this," she said finally, holding up a piece of metal consisting of various tubes all twisted and tangled like three snakes trying to strangle each other. "This is a catalytic converter - exactly the kind of thing I'd expect to find in a Weather Machine. But the machine itself is just a tiny black box." She put the catalytic converter on one of the benches and tied her hair up with her ribbon, thinking about the weather machine.
"Hmm, that's interesting," said Duncan, "perhaps I could interview Arwen San Conflegro about it."
"Yes perhaps," said Violet, but she was thinking that sometimes the skills of, say, a researcher are much more useful than the skills of a journalist, who simply reports on the research that others have done. After all, Arwen San Conflegro had already told her that there was nothing more to learn from the weather machine. Why would he tell a journalist anything differently? Besides, the machine could just be made of parts she couldn't understand so easily, like the parts inside Nero's computer at Prufrock Preparatory school and others like it.
"Violet," said Duncan, "why don't you tell me what's going on here? It feels like I've just walked into this strange story and nobody has told me the plot."
Violet looked at Duncan, and nodded. "That's how we feel a little bit too. It's like somebody snatched us out of our stories and placed us here for unclear reasons, it's been quite a disorienting experience. But I'll tell you what we konw."
And so Violet explained to Duncan how Arwen had cleared the Baudelaires' names through connections with the Daily Punctilio, and so they were no longer on the run, and how he intended to create a film about VFD, featuring the Baudelaires, the Quagmires, and Count Olaf. She considered telling him about the proposal to have Olaf rightfully, though technically wrongfully, arrested, but decided not to.
Chapter 7.1: No Time for Books
While Violet and Duncan were exploring the workshop, Klaus and Isadora continued down the corridor towards the library.
Klaus opened the door and entered, slowly. Walking into a library is like arriving late to a funeral - it is best to do so quietly, without drawing attention to yourself. Isadora followed close behind him, and neither spoke for a few moments as they looked at the huge number of books on the shelves.
"This is an amazing library," said Isadora, gazing at a booked called 'The best unpublished poetry: Published here for the first time.'
"It certainly seems that way," said Klaus, looking at a book called 'A catalogue of all the catalogues in the library.' He took the book of the shelf, and saw that somebody had crossed out the word 'catalogue' on the front cover, and written 'Index' in very neat handwriting.
Having neat handwriting is, fortunately, a trait that many people share. Willingness to deface a book is, unfortunately, also such a trait. However, it is not common that somebody should have both traits at once. Klaus did not know what to make of the book he held on his hands, but before he could ask for Isadora's opinion, the book behind the index of catalogues vanished from the shelf. Klaus stepped back, looking warily at the gap the two missing books had left, though which it was possible to see into the next aisle. What he saw there was, as you may have guessed, the figure who had removed the book.
"Hello there," said the figure.
"Hello," said Klaus.
The book was replaced, and Klaus could hear the footsteps of the figure recede down the aisle, turn the corner, and then he both saw and heard the person walk towards him. It was one of Arwen's employees, the woman who had been wearing the red outfit. Klaus saw that she was still wearing it.
"My name is Ilsa," said Ilsa. "You must be Klaus," she said to Klaus, "and you must be Isadora," she said to Isadora.
"That's right, that's us. We're just having a look at the library," said Isadora.
"Having a look for books, I suppose?"
"Yes," said Klaus. "That is usually what one looks for in a library."
"I usually have no time for books myself," said Ilsa. "I've just come here to do some research for Arwen's new film."
"No time for books?" said Klaus, alarmed. "Why?"
"My passion is for films. The difference is that unlike a book, the camera records real people doing real things," said Ilsa.
Klaus ran his eyes along the spines of the books on the wide shelves. "But people are just pretending," he said, "even if they're real people."
Ilsa laughed. "And they don't pretend in real life? A filmmaker's job is to tell stories, bring a certain truth to the screen."
"That sounds just like the job of an novellist," said Klaus.
"Or a poet," said Isadora.
"Not at all," said Ilsa, shaking her head. "If a writer says that a rich man finds happiness swinging a farm implement, what shape is the implement?"
"Curved," said Klaus, remembering his mother reading aloud words by a writer who had said just that.
"Or if a poet says that three white leopards sat under a juniper-tree, who's to say what they really meant?"
"They meant that three white leopards sat under a juniper-tree," said Isadora.
"No, a book or a poem is simply an invitation to entertain a particular notion, which leaves a trail of ambiguous details behind itself, whereas a film is a proper record," said Ilsa, gripping the book she was holding very tightly.
"What are you researching," said Klaus, to change the subject.
"I'm looking up material for a film," said Ilsa, and Klaus tilted his head so as to see the title of the book she was holding, but Ilsa shifted her feet just slightly, in the way people often do when they are standing up for any length of time, and the title was taken out of his line of sight.
"We're just having a look around," said Isadora.
"Are you," said Ilsa. "You've come to the right place. There are books here on everything from Queen Victoria to Quetzalcoatl, and from all over the alphabet. There's even a history of this studio."
"Thanks," said Klaus. "Well it was nice to meet you, we're going to keep browsing."
"Like a giraffe," said Ilsa, and laughed the type of laugh people use when it is clear that they don't expect you to laugh along with them, either because you are too dim to perceive the joke, or the joke is aimed at you.
"I'm sorry?" said Isadora, who had been looking for the poetry section and not entirely paying attention to what Ilsa was saying.
"Browsing. It's a word for when a giraffe looks for leaves," said Ilsa.
"Actually," said Klaus, "browsing can refer to many kinds of animal, not just a giraffe, and it can refer to searching for things other than leaves, like books or sheets of paper."
"I know that," said Ilsa.
"Hey Klaus," said Isadora, "let's go down this way, I found the poetry section."
"Sure," said Klaus and followed Isadora through the aisles, though there were other sections of the library which he would have preferred to the poetry section. Even the section on mechanical devices, which were the kind of books Violet liked to read, seemed to Klaus to be more interesting than poetry.
If you have read the previous chapter, you will know what Violet told Duncan in explanation of the situation that the Baudelaires, and now the Quagmires, found themselves in and you probably would be displeased if I were to repeat that explanation here. If you haven't read the previous chapter, then it's not clear to me why you are reading this one right now, and it is difficult for me to guess what would please or displease you any more than I can guess at what might please or displease the grumpy geese which live in my front yard. It is therefore not necessary to repeat the information about how Arwen had cleared the Baudelaires names through connections with the Daily Punctilio, so that the Baudelaires were no longer on the run. You already know how he intended to create a film about VFD, featuring the Baudelaires, the Quagmires, and Count Olaf. Klaus almost mentioned the proposal to bring Olaf to justice, albeit technically unjustly, but he didn't say anything about it, so there is no need to mention it here.
Chapter 7.2: Wedges
After Klaus and Isadora had spent some time in the library, and Violet and Duncan had spent some time in the workshop, it was time for all of them to have dinner with their guardian.
"Look at the time," said Klaus looked up from the book he was reading to glance at the clock in the corner of the library. At almost the same moment, Violet put down a gear she happened to be holding and said almost the same thing to Duncan. "I'd pick you up, Sunny, but my hands are covered with grease and I don't want to get your outfit dirty."
"Aias," said Sunny.
"You're right," said Violet, looking at her sister. Sunny had been crawling around the workshop for several hours, and was already so dirty that Violet's oily hands could scarcely make any difference whatsoever. Violet walked over to her sister and picked her up, gestured to Duncan, and walked into the kitchen. When she opened the door, she saw Klaus and Isadora were already there, sitting at the table and drinking glasses of water.
"Hi Violet," said Klaus, placing his glass on the table. "I hope you enjoyed the workshop as much as we enjoyed the library."
"Oh Klaus, it's wonderful. So many machine parts, and all kinds of devices. There are so many things I could make. I think I'm really going to enjoy spending time there."
"I'm glad," said Klaus, and then he was quiet for a moment. "You know," he continued, "Until you said that, I hadn't really thought that we would be here for any lenght of time. You know, we've always been on the move, always rushing from one place to another. But the way you said that, made me realise that we'll have time here. We'll have time to write poetry, learn about journalism, read books, make devices, and bite things."
A tear rolled down Klaus' cheek, as he began to think about what it would be like to return to a relatively normal childhood. Sure, the house they lived in was a little strange, he thought to himself, but they'd lived in worse places, damper places, places with either fewer beds or more crabs.
Of course, anybody who is remotely familiar with the sorry tale of the Baudelaire Orphans will guess, even if they cannot be entirely certain, that the stability that Klaus desires will not come to pass - a phrase which here means 'will not happen at all, or at least, for a very long time'.
"I hope you're right," said Violet. "But there is something we should talk about while we're all here together and before Arwen comes in."
"Agreed," said Klaus.
"What is it?" said Isadora.
"It's this," said Violet. "It's the film."
"Which film," said Duncan.
"Our film. Or at least, the film that Arwen San Conflegro would like us to make. About VFD." Violet ended her statement heavily, so that it sounded the way somebody looks when they put down a heavy object they've just carried up the stairs.
Duncan and Isadora glanced at each other across the table, and then looked at the Baudelaire siblings.
"Baudelaires," said Duncan, "I know that VFD had given us a lot of problems."
"But we don't know why this film has made you so on edge," said Isadora. "It's just a film-it would be fun to act together."
"Olaf?" said Sunny.
"It's true, it will be uncomfortable being around Olaf," said Isadora, nodding at the youngest Baudelaire.
"But well, we've gotten used to being around Olaf," said Duncan.
"And at least this time, he's more of a captive than we are," said Isadora.
"To be honest, I can't see a reason not to participate in a straightforward film," said Duncan.
"What bad could come of it?" asked Isadora.
Klaus and Violet looked at each other, not knowing how to convey their discomfort to their friends. At this moment, my dear readers, you might find yourself asking the question, 'why didn't they explain Arwen San Conflegro's plot, to use the film to have Count Olaf arrested?'
This is, of course, the right question. After all, it showed Arwen's capacity for deviousness and treachery, and explained why the Baudelaires found themselves unable to take the proposed film at face value. Arwen wanted Count Olaf to stab Klaus in the film, only for Klaus, or perhaps Violet, to cry murder and have the police storm the set. Then Klaus, or perhaps Sunny, would switch the prop knife for a real knife, resulting in Count Olaf being arrested for attempted murder.
So why wouldn't they, at this crucial moment in their discussion with the Quagmires? There are three answers. The first is bravery. Violet and Klaus didn't want to force the Quagmires to face the same moral dilemma as the Baudelaires, forced to examine their own capacity for treachery. Therefore, they wanted to carry the burden of the scheme themselves. The second answer is fear. To mention the scheme would bring it up to the surface, in the same way that a fisher who catches a dangerous fish might reel it in only to hesitate while the fish lurks just below the water, unwilling to take the final step of bringing the danger into the boat. Violet and Klaus were afraid to bring up the plot, so as not to make it real. The third reason was that these things are simply a matter perspective. The Baudelaires probably thought they could bring it up later, or that what they said at this moment, at this table wouldn't turn out to be important. It might be easy, from the point of view of a reader of this story, to see that this is not true. To see that this moment matters, and that there won't be a chance to make amends. But the reader has the advantage (or perhaps disadvantage) of this interlude to highlight the importance of this moment. The reader also knows that a writer will not include moments which to the story are not germane-a word which here means 'likely to lead the Baudelaire Orphans to yet further misery'. But the characters in this story have no such advantages. Like you or I, they are assailed with thousands of details every day, from the brand of the pasta in Arwen's cupboard to the font used in his film posters, without having the benefit of a writer to curate which details and conversations are germane. So please, dear readers, do not allow your disappointment that the Baudelaires have allowed a wedge to settle between themselves and the Quagmires at what I assure you is a very important moment in the story to colour your judgement of the noble and thoughtful siblings.
"Perhaps you're right," said Violet with a sigh. "It would be fun to make the film, hopefully there will be props to make in the workshop."
"And Ilsa was in the library today doing research for a film," said Klaus with a faint smile, "so there'll probably be research required for a film about VFD."
"That's the spirit," said Isadora.
"It's going to be fun," said Duncan.
