All Finn can think about is he how kissed Quinn. On one hand, he wishes he could take back that kiss; on the other hand, he's glad kissed her because it felt so awesome; it reminded him of how amazing they had been together. He just wishes he knew exactly what Quinn thought of that kiss. He knows they'll eventually have to talk about it; but he thinks he should give her some time to think about everything…he needs some time to think too. In an effort to force himself to stop obsessing over the kiss, Finn decides to try to close his eyes and rest for awhile, although he highly doubts he'll be able to fall asleep since he's not really allowed to lie down.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

He must have managed to fall asleep though because the next thing he knows, his Mom and Burt are standing beside his bed, waking him up.

"Sweetheart, I know you're tired, but you need to wake up," Carole says, touching his forehead gently.

"Why?" Finn asks, he's tired and just wants to go back to sleep.

"Your nurses would like you to try to cath yourself again," Burt says.

"Do I have to?" Finn asks, even though he knows he does.

"Yes, now your nurses will be back in a few minutes, so get yourself awake so you'll be ready for them," Carole says.

"I don't want to do this, what if I throw up all over myself again?"

"You won't; you were fine the whole time your friends were here, right?"Carole asks.

"Yeah, I just hope I don't throw up again; I really hate throwing up."

"No one likes throwing up," Carole says laughing.

"Don't worry about it; you'll be fine," Burt says to reassure him.

"Finn, I'm going to go run some errands while you do this, but I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" Carole says.

"Okay," Finn says.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Carole says as she kisses his forehead and then heads toward the door.

"Thanks," Finn says as she walks out the door, although he isn't sure if she meant he'll be fine cathing himself or that he'll be fine in general.

"You okay?" Burt asks, he can tell something's bothering Finn and he doesn't think it has anything to do with him having to try to cath himself again.

"Can I tell you something?" Finn asks. "And like can you not tell my Mom 'cause it's kinda embarrassing?"

"Yeah, sure," Burt says.

"I kissed Quinn," Finn says. "She went to give me a hug goodbye and I kissed her. And now I'm afraid I screwed everything up."

"Well, how did she react to it?" Burt asks."Did she seem upset?"

"No, she said, 'it felt nice,' which I guess is a good thing."

"Well it sounds like then that she at least wasn't upset that you kissed her, but the only way you're going to know for sure how she feels about you is to ask her," Burt says.

"I know, but I'm kind of nervous."

"Well, until you do you're just going to drive yourself crazy wondering," Burt says.

"Hey, Finn," Dan says, as he and Alyssa walk into Finn's room. "Are you to ready to give this another try?" As Dan says this Burt looks at Finn as if to say, "We'll finish this conversation later."

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says, a little nervously.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Alyssa says she walks around to the other side of his bed and grabs a box of latex gloves, a catheter, a box of baby wipes, and a blue pad out of the drawer beside his bed.

"We're just going to do this the same way we did last time," Dan says.

"Just without me puking all over myself," Finn says.

"Yeah, and you're actually going to cath yourself this time, I know you can do it," Dan says.

"You've been fine sitting up in your bed this whole time, right?" Alyssa asks.

"Yeah."

"Then you've got nothing to worry about," Dan says. "If you've been able to sit up in your bed for the last three and a half hours, you'll have no problem being able to sit on the toilet long enough for you to cath yourself."

"Finn, why don't you go ahead and lie down and I'll take your diaper off," Alyssa says as she hands Dan a pair of latex gloves and then puts a pair on herself.

"Okay," Finn says as he lays his bed down and then pulls up his hospital gown up so it's a little bit above his diaper.

Dan then gently lifts Finn's legs up to his chest while Alyssa places a blue pad underneath him.

"Hey guess what?" Alyssa says after removing Finn's diaper, she then hands the diaper to Dan so he can throw it away.

"What?" Finn asks.

"You're dry," Alyssa says.

"Sweet," Finn says. I just need to stay dry for a whole day and then I can stop wearing these stupid diapers except for at night!

"Finn, I'm going to warn you though, just because you're dry this time doesn't necessarily mean that from this point on you'll always be dry in between caths; so don't be surprised if you're wet between caths just as often as you are dry over the next few days," Dan says. "Like I said it will take several days, even up to a week for your body to get used to its new schedule."

"Okay," Finn says, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"You can go ahead and sit up," Alyssa says while she takes another blue pad out of the drawer and sets it on the wheelchair.

"All right, Finn, on three, we're going to pick you up and put in the wheelchair," Dan says.

"One, two, three," all three of them say as Dan and Alyssa lifts Finn on three and set him in the wheelchair.

"You feel okay?" Alyssa asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I don't feel light-headed or anything," Finn says.

"You sure? 'Cause if you need a minute or two just to get used to sitting in the chair, that's okay," Dan says.

"No, I'm fine. Let's do this," Finn says as he starts pushing himself to the bathroom. Dan grabs all of the supplies Finn will need, and along with Alyssa and Burt follows Finn into the bathroom.

"Okay, I'm not sure if I said this last time or not, but it's really, really important that you keep yourself clean to try avoid getting a UTI at all costs," Dan says and after he and Alyssa have transferred Finn from the wheelchair onto the toilet.

"What's a UTI?" Finn asks.

"A Urinary Tract Infection," Dan says.

"Since you'll have to self-catheterize yourself it will be very easy for you to get a UTI and you want to avoid getting one at all costs because you wouldn't know if you got one because you have no sensation there," Alyssa says.

"In order to try to avoid getting a UTI it's important to wipe your hands and between your legs with a wet wipe beforehand and to wear latex gloves when you cath yourself," Dan says handing Finn two wipes.

After Finn is done wiping himself off, Dan hands him a pair of latex of gloves and he puts them. I can do this, Finn thinks to himself as Alyssa hands him a catheter.

Dan once again explains to him how to insert the catheter, surprisingly after only a couple tries he gets the catheter in.

"Okay Finn, just slowly keep pushing the catheter in until urine starts to flow, that's how you know it's reached your bladder," Dan says.

Finn nervously pushes the catheter in a little farther…and "Sweet," Finn says smiling, as urine starts to flow through the catheter into the toilet. I did it, I'm peeing!

"Um, I-I think I'm done," Finn says several seconds later.

"Okay, just slowly pull the catheter out and make sure you're done," Dan says.

Finn then pulls the catheter out, "What should I do with this now?"

"You can hand it to me, along with your gloves and I'll throw them away," Alyssa says.

"I can't believe I just cathed myself," Finn says as he takes off his gloves and hands them to Alyssa to throw away. I know it's not technically going to the bathroom on my since I'm peeing through a tube but it's a hell of a lot better than just going in my diaper and not even knowing when I do.

"See, it wasn't that bad was it?" Dan asks him.

"No, it was actually a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be," Finn says.

"See, I told you had nothing to worry about," Burt says.

"You think you're up for learning how to put a diaper on yourself?" Alyssa asks.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says, although he hates the idea of it because it just makes the situation seem all the more permanent.

"All right, let's get you back in your chair because the easiest way for you to change your diaper will be lying down on your bed," Alyssa says.

Dan and Alyssa lift Finn back into his wheelchair and Finn pushes himself back to his bed with Burt walking out behind them.
Finn wheels himself up to the side of his bed as Alyssa grabs a diaper from the drawer and sets it in the middle of his bed.

"Once you learn how to get yourself from your wheelchair to your bed, you'll be able to do this all yourself," Dan says. "But for now we'll just pick you up like we've been doing."

"When will I learn how to transfer myself?" Finn asks.

"Well, you're to start physical and occupational therapy tomorrow morning I think, so I imagine you'll start learning how to do your own transfers then," Alyssa says.

"Okay," Finn says.

Dan and Alyssa then lift him onto his bed, directly on top of the diaper and he lays down. "Okay, Finn you're going to reach down between your legs and pull your diaper up," Dan says, as he pulls his gown up a little so it isn't in his way.

Finn is pleasantly surprised that he's able pull his diaper up and get it in place so easily. "Everything's in place, right?" he asks a little nervously. The last thing he wants is for his diaper to be out of place and end up wetting the bed.

"Yep, it looks like it," Dan says.

"Sweet, that was pretty easy," he says. Never thought I'd be relieved to be able to put a diaper on myself.

"Well good," Alyssa says. "Hey, well, here in a little, after you eat your dinner we're going to try starting you on your bowel routine."

"Are you guys going to be the ones to teach me all of that?" Finn asks, hoping they are because he has a feeling this is going to be even more embarrassing than learning how to cath himself.

"Yeah, we should be," Dan says.

"Okay, good," Finn says trying to reassure himself.

"Do you need anything else?" Dan asks. "If not we're going to head out for now, but we'll be back later then."

"Yeah, I'm good," Finn says.

"Okay, we'll see you in a little then," Alyssa says as she and Dan starting walking towards the door.

"Okay," Finn says.

"Thanks for your help," Burt says, as Alyssa and Dan walk out the door. "How are you feeling?" he says as he walks over to the other side of Finn's bed.

"Exhausted, if you want me to be honest," Finn says. "I know it sounds pathetic 'cause it wasn't like I had to do much, but that took a lot of energy out of me."

"No, it makes sense, getting out of your bed and into your wheelchair and onto the toilet and back, I can see how that would tire you out."

"Burt, I didn't even transfer myself; basically all I did was sit on the toilet and insert my catheter," Finn says.

"Yeah, but it's going to take a little while for you to get your energy back," Burt says, trying to reassure him.

"I know, it's just frustrating though," Finn says. "Even so though, I have to admit, as ridiculous as it sounds, I'm pretty damn proud about being able to cath myself and it definitely is better than going in my diaper."

"That's not ridiculous, you should be proud of yourself, it's another huge step on your way to becoming independent…I'm proud of you."

"You're proud of me for being able to cath myself?"Finn asks trying not to laugh because the whole idea of it sounds ridiculous.

"Yeah, but even I've more proud about your sudden change in attitude."

"Yeah, well I realized that being miserable wasn't doing me any good, so I figured I might as well try having a positive attitude."

"Good."

The next several minutes are filled with an uncomfortable silence.

"Burt, do you think I should text Quinn?"Finn asks, breaking the silence.

"Finn, I can't make that decision for you."

"I know, it's just I keep thinking about that kiss."

"The only way you're going to find out how she really feels about you is if you tell her how you feel."

"I know it's just I don't know how she's feels about me … like this," Finn says.

"Finn, you're still the same guy you were before your accident, you know that and it's obvious that Quinn knows that too."

"Not physically, though. Do you think she could like me even though I'm now in a wheelchair? Do you think she'd date me if she knew I don't even know when I have to go to the bathroom; if she knew I'm wearing a diaper?" What if I'm not able to ever have sex again? She'd never date me then, would she? But what if I can have sex? It wouldn't exactly be sexy to take my diaper off …or even my boxers with a pad in them… in front of her if we have sex? No girl, not even Quinn, could get turned off by me after seeing me in a diaper, right?

"I don't know, Finn," Burt says, interrupting Finn's thoughts. "It is obvious though that Quinn cares a lot about you, but I can't speak for her as to whether or not she thinks of you as a friend or something more."

"I know."

"I don't think your accident has changed how Quinn feels about you, but if she does reject you just because you're paralyzed, then she's not worth it. If any girl rejects you because of your disability, they're just simply not worth it, don't you ever forget that."

"I won't." Finn says. "Thanks for talking about all of this with me; I'm not exactly comfortable talking about girls with my Mom."

"No problem," Burt says.

Talking with Burt has made Finn feel a little better about the whole Quinn situation, but he still doesn't think he's quite ready yet to talk to her about the kiss or to admit to her how he really feels about her. Finn's grateful to have Burt there with him, especially for the whole learning how to cath thing and for when he'll have to learn how to do his bowel program later that night; he can't imagine how embarrassing it would have been to have his Mom there with him while he was learning how to cath himself and how to change his own diaper; yeah it was definitely still embarrassing with Burt there but it could've been a hell of a lot worse. He's also grateful to be able to talk to Burt about the whole situation with Quinn; yeah he knows Burt's right about not being able to tell him what to do when it comes to talking to Quinn, but at least he has someone to talk about it with. Finn doesn't remember his Dad and he's never really had a father figure, but over the last several months Burt has become the closest thing he's ever had to a dad, especially over the past several days since his accident…and for that he couldn't be more grateful.