Chapter 7
It was still dark when I awoke from the dream, bolt upright, sweating and shaking. What was the blue stream that seemed to come from Ysabeau's mouth? My mind is racing. It repeats over and over the picture of the blue stream of something, like the breath on a cold night. I lay back down on the bed my arms above my head, trying to think what it could be, but nothing. Why can I not remember most of my life, but I dream about her? I constantly dream about Ysabeau, when I am near her I am breathless, but when I am away from her I feel nothing. How could I have lost the connection and love that comes when two people share a strong relationship. I'm mad at myself for forgetting what it was that bound us together, the deep bond we obviously shared, and how much that she knows about me, my pains, my secrets and my past. I feel that there is a hole in my mind where there should be memories, and an emptiness in my heart where there should be love. I am lost and need help to find my way back to my life. My mind gradually stops its turmoil as I drift back into a peaceful sleep.
I wake up to a light knocking on the door from the office, I look at the phone which shows that it is 10:30 am. My head is hurting. I open the door to a pleasant smiling Mark.
"Here you go Doc." He says, handing me a holdall. "Bo said that everything you need is in here."
"Thank you." I reply taking the bag. "Mark. Who are you? I mean are you one of Ysabeau's gang or something?"
"Yeah. I suppose you could say that we are a gang. You are part of it to Doc." Mark chuckles.
I stare at him trying to process what he has just said. At that moment two men dressed in white coats enter the office.
"Hello, Mrs Dennis-Lewis. I am Doctor Clark and this is Doctor Robinson. We wondered if it was alright to assist you with your memory problem." Doctor Clark asks.
"Yes. That would be great. Do you want to start now?" I ask eagerly. "Please give me a few minutes to get changed and I will be with you."
I close the door, not waiting for a reply and drop the bag onto the bed. I find toiletries, jeans, tops, shoes and underwear that I am sure I would not normally wear, but fits me. After changing into a pair of blue jeans, a matching blue button down shirt and a pair of sandals, I wash myself and clean my teeth.
I enter the office ready for whatever the doctors want. Doctor Clark is a short dark haired man with a stocky build and a round kindly face. He has a presence about him that makes me feel I would be able to comfortable talk to him, his voice being mellow and smooth. Doctor Robinson is tall lanky with short chestnut hair and a lean face. He didn't smile and looked like a typical blood taker.
"So. What kind of help are you offering for my amnesia?" I ask, looking at both of them expectantly.
"I am a psychiatrist and Doctor Robinson would like to run some tests, if that is okay with you?" Doctor Clark asks smiling.
"Have you any idea of what might have caused this?" I ask Doctor Clark. "Obviously you are testing for organic means." I am intrigued as to the organic side. I know of some plants that could do this, as a child I studied botany as a hobby, but normally there are other side effects. I have none, except the headaches, which are easily treatable.
"We are investigating all possibilities Mrs Dennis-Lewis." Doctor Clark replies.
"Could you please call me Lauren?" I am rather fed up of being called a name that I feel I am not attached to.
"Can we begin with running the tests?" Doctor Robinson gruffly asks. "I have a nurse outside ready to start."
"And I will return later for our first session." Doctor Clark smiles sweetly.
I nod before Doctor Clark walks out the door and Doctor Robinson brings in the nurse who wheels in a trolley with the necessary equipment. The rest of the morning is spent with blood and temperature taking, prodding, poking and answering the necessary questions. My headache is now gone, as a result from taking pain killers the nurse obtained for me. Around 1:00 pm Doctor Clark returns with a tray of food.
"I thought you might be hungry." He says placing the tray on the desk.
I grin "Yes I am, thank you." I eagerly take a bottle of water, a sandwich and sit in the chair under the window. He places the chair opposite me, sits down and smiles.
"What is the most recent memory you have Mrs Den …. Lauren?" He suddenly asks.
"I had just finished my last exam and a fellow student and I went to a party. I didn't initially want to go, but my friend Holly persuaded me to. As she reminded me it would be the last time to have some fun together, she was going back to England and I was returning here." I replied.
I missed Holly, she had been my only friend and was exceedingly good at stopping me from over studying. I trusted her and could tell her almost anything.
"Do you remember what happened at the party?" Doctor Clark enquired, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"No. I remember us getting into a taxi and Holly giving the driver the address." I close my eyes trying to probe further into my mind, holding my breath, as if that would help. "I closed the taxi door and then nothing until I woke up in the bed the other day with Ysabeau." I let out the breath and open my eyes.
"So. Mrs De .… Lauren how are you feeling overall?" Doctor Clark asked.
I feel the need again to close my eyes, taking a small breath before answering his question.
"Physically I feel fine." I pause, opening my eyes and look at him. I feel a wave of calmness sweep over me. "I have been having dreams about Ysabeau." I continue to describe the dreams I have had so far, including the last one with the blue stream from her mouth to mine, wondering slightly why I feel so at ease talking with this man.
"Mm. It is not surprising to be having these dreams. Your connection with Bo, your wife, runs very deep." Doctor Clark replies. "How do you feel when you are experiencing these dreams?"
"Warmth, safe, loved." I stop, taking a bite from the sandwich. He didn't react to the blue stream I described. Not a single movement of surprise. He knows what it is. I think to myself whilst chewing the delicious food.
"Well then Bo maybe a starting point to regaining some of your memory, perhaps you need to keep talking to her." Doctor Clark suggests.
I nod "I certainly will do. What do you think the blue stream is, that I described to you?" I ask looking intently at him.
"It could be your subconscious mind elaborating on the intensity of the feelings you truly have for Bo, and thus producing an image to express your emotions in the form of a stream. The blue being the colour that you say you saw in her eyes." Doctor Clark states without flinching.
Deep down I know he is lying. Another person lying, when will these people tell me the truth? I continue to eat my sandwich, drink from the bottle and smile. I will play their game for now.
The session with Doctor Clark lasted about an hour and left me with more questions than answers. Why had he lied about the blue stream, and why did he not give me some idea what the dreams meant? Are they a vision of the future, or of the past or a warning of things I do not understand?
I looked at the clock in the office, it showed 2:45 pm. I moved to the door to the corridor, opened it to find Mark sitting in a chair opposite me.
"Am I a prisoner?" I ask frowning.
"No Doc, just here to protect you." Mark replied.
"From what?" Now I am worried.
"Hey Lauren!" a familiar friendly voice calls from down the corridor.
I look towards the voice smiling. "Hey Casey." I call back to her as she strides towards me dressed in her black leather biker gear.
We enter the office and I give her a big hug. "It's good to see you." Sitting down on the couch.
"It's like Fort Knox getting in here." She grins. "They searched me, not very well though. I thought I would do some more digging into you. Here you go doc." She takes her boot off and hands me a couple of pieces of folded A4 paper.
"Thank you Casey, I will look at this later." I put the folded papers in my jeans back pocket. "So how is your grandmother?" I enquire.
We spend over an hour talking as if we had known each other for a long time. I am fascinated with all the new types of music, not all to my liking, fashion crazies, television programmes and language of the youth. It was enthralling to hear her talk about people I did not know, who is Justin Bieber, but who Casey followed with a passion. We both laugh when she has to describe or explain to me a slang term or a name of an item I have never heard of. We are both sitting with ease in the couch, one each end resting on the arm, when the door opens and Ysabeau walks in.
"I'm sorry I didn't know you had a visitor." Ysabeau says standing holding the door open.
"That's okay." Casey rises and faces Ysabeau. "I've gotta pick up something for Gran." She turns back to me, giving me a wink and smiling. "See you tomorrow Lauren." She walks out, Ysabeau closes the door behind her.
"I hear you have been having dreams with me in them?" Ysabeau asks calmly.
"So much for doctor confidentiality." I say looking away from her.
Ysabeau sits at the other end of the couch. "Doctor Clark felt that it might help you to regain some of your memory if we talk about the dreams."
I turn and look at her, she is looking seriously at me. I take a breath and tell her about my two dreams. The examination of her, the making love in the four poster bed, the words about Dyson, the epic love making and finally in the shower.
"Wow! You certainly remembered the good bits." Ysabeau chuckled.
"So these are events that have happened to us?" I knew the answer, but needed her to confirm it.
"Yes." Ysabeau moved slightly towards me.
"And Dyson?" I ask.
"Dyson and I ..." Ysabeau paused looking down. "We had a back and forth relationship, but now he knows that you are the one for me." She looks directly into my eyes. "He is a good friend to us both.
"What about your eyes and the blue stream?" I ask.
Ysabeau moved closer and took one of my hands, taking a deep breath, she locks with my eyes. "I …. I can't tell you at the moment, all will be made clear soon Lauren. I hate keeping secrets from you my love, but until we can find out what and why this amnesia has happened, it is better this way." I see unshed tears in her eyes as she continues. "You gave me the strength to believe in myself and our love is it the foundation of our relationship. Please believe me when I promise that I will not harm you in any way."
I don't notice how near we have become until her breath is on my lips, I close the remaining gap and kiss her slowly as if it is the first time. My body tingles with the familiar warmth spreading to my core. I gradually pull away, looking into sparkling blue eyes that are suddenly mesmerising to me. I smile, and our lips join in a rhythm orchestrated by our desire to rekindle the love we have for each other. Our hands finally join in, with mine going to the side of her neck, holding her in place. Whilst Ysabeau's hands go to my waist, gradually pulling me closer to her. A knock on the door breaks our bubble and Ysabeau pulls away sighing, her hands still on my waist.
"What!" She yells behind at the door.
Dyson opens the door. "I am sorry Bo, we need you down stairs."
"This better be important." She says removing her hands and standing up, staring at him. "We will finish this later." She says bending down and giving me a peck on my lips, before walking out.
I drop my hands into my lap and immediately miss the warmth of her on me, I know now without doubt that I love her.
Outside is dark, as I am reading a book on the couch a nurse bursts into the office. "Come with me, we are under attack!" She shouts.
"What!" I remain sitting still for a moment.
"Follow me, we have to get to safety." She beckons me with one hand, whilst holding the door open with the other hand.
I hear the unmistakable sound of gunfire in the distant and rapidly I am by her side ready to follow.
"What about Bo and Mark?" I enquire.
"Ysabeau sent me to guide you to safety." She replies, looking up and down to make sure the corridor is clear.
We move swiftly along corridors, down stairs, not using the elevators, and through a number of doors, eventually arriving on the ground floor. We go through two heavy fire doors to the outside, it taking both of us to push the doors open. She turns right into an alley and I follow. Suddenly I am grabbed, a hand goes over my mouth and I am dragged backwards. Not again, can I ever get a break. I struggle trying to get my arms free, but I am held fast. The hand is removed from my mouth briefly before I recognise the sweat-smell of Chloroform and darkness quickly engulfs me.
