7. "Somebody cries in the middle of the night, The neighbours hear but they turn out the light." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.
AN I am sorry for not updating in 2 years. I had a bad episode of depression and after I came out of it I didn't feel very creative. I plan to finish this story quite quickly as I am a) on holiday. b) really want to start writing another one!
"If you hear something late at night, Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight, Just don't ask me what it was." 'Luka' by Suzanna Vega.
Finally I stop crying. After a while I am just too tired. There are no more tears left to cry. Sometimes I wonder why the pain of it all, when the emotional pain gets so bad, that I feel as if my heart will physically stop form the pain of it all. As if it's not physically possible to be in that much pain and survive.
But it is. Emotional pain can't kill you.
On the outside.
Sticks and stones make brake my bones but words will never hurt me.
Everything hurts. And things only mend on the surface. The pain is still there, hurting. It never goes away. It's something you always have to live with. Or not.
I am such a pathetic failure.
I reach over to my ipod dock and play my ipod, the lyrics filling the quiet room.
"My name is Luka..." I get out of bed and go over to my window, staring out into the deep abyss. The darkness. There wasatime, when i was young that this frightened me. The emptiness, the unknown. Now I know better, I know that there are worse things out there to get you than the unknown, and that monsters don't hide in the dark, they're here. Hiding amongst the normal people. Hurting you, breaking you. And no one notices, no one knows. Monsters don't need darkness to hide.
"...If you hear something late at night, Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight, Just don't ask me what it was." I sing along with the words.
"Just don't ask me what it was, just don't assk me what it was-"
I'm interrupted by Phil barging into my room. He slams the door right back against the wall, almost pulling it off the hinges.
"What the hell do you think you're playing at? Huh? Huh?" He comes over to me and grabs me by neck of my shirt, pushing and pulling me up against the wall, choking me so I'm forced to stand on my tip-toes just to breathe. It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't hurt like this. He should love me. Someone should love me.
He puts more pressure on my neck, strangling me. Suffocating me. I can't breathe. I'm going to die this time. He pulls me forward with his fist by the collar of my shirt then pushes me hard back into the wall, hitting my head hard against, so head that my legs give out from under me. I wimper.
His free hand swings up and lands a blow viciously against the sidde of my head, causing my to stumble. He lets go of my shirt and I fall to the floor. He pulls back his legs and kicks me hard in the ribs. I feel a few of them crack. He aims another kick at my ribs and a sharp stabbing pain goes through my chest. Suddenly its getting harder and harder to breathe.
He continues to aim kicks at me, getting a few in my abdoman this time. It hurts, it hurts so bad. I can't breathe, the pain in my chest is so bad, so sharp. I can feel myself getting light headed. He's going to kill me this time.
My vision is getting darker, its getting harder and harder to draw in any breaths.
There would be no quick end like I'd been counting on.
I close my eyes.
"Lonely people are always awake in the middle of the night."
[Edward POV]
I turn the page of my book. Alice In Wonderland. The pages are frayed and torn. This copy is from the first publication of this book. A classic. My grandmother gave it to me when I was a small child. She said it was a special book that she had been given as a child and that she hoped I would love it as much. It means so much to me now because it is one of the few reminders I have of my old life. Of my family. When Alice first joined our family I always teased her that the book was about her.
The girl in it reminds me so much of Bella now. So confused, so helpless. Wandering around this mysterious land, not fitting in, not understanding, and not getting the help she needs so badly. Feeling as if everyone around her is crazy, and with many of them out to get her.
I want to wrap her up in my arms and hide her away from the world. Keep her same. Make her mine forever. I close my eyes and imagine her.
"Edward!" Shouts Alice, forcing her thoughts into my head; shouting at me with her mind.
"Bella is hurt, go to her. Make her immortal."
My Bella? What has that monster done to her this time? I'll kill him. I get up and run out of the house. I have to save her before its too late. I can't condemn her to this life. It isn't a life I'd have chosen for myself. To be soulless. To never have a family.
I meet Alice at the bottom of the stairs, Jasper hovering behind her, concerned. Feeling the hurt and worry from all of us, adding to his own.
"Where." I demand.
"She's in her room. Its not good. I've called Carlisle, he's on his way there from the hospital but there's not enough time."
Rosalie comes into the hall. She must have been outside and heard us.
"Let me come with you." She asks. I'm surprised. Rosalie has never shown much care for Bella. "I was hurt too." She reminds me.
"Go." Urges Alice. "You're wasting time."
"You found me, you found me, lying on the floor." You Found Me - The Fray.
Edward POV
As I get near her house I can smell the blood. The stench is overpowering already and I can feel Rosalie tense up beside me. This must be difficult for her, seeing Bella in a similar situation to the one she was in herself. It must bring back memories for her.
As I get inside her room I begin to see the full extent of her injuries. She's all bloodied and bruised to the point that its almost difficult to recognise it's her. He face is swollen and bleeding, with one eye completely closed. Her injuries are horrific but that's not what worries me. A horrible noise is coming from her throat. Ragged, gasping breaths, her chest barely rises.
I get down on my knees next to her body and try to block out the smell of her blood. So tempting, so sweet. I glance up at Rosalie quickly to make sure she's in control. I tear open her shirt gently and look at her ribs. Her chest is deformed, bruising forming already. One side of her rib cage is slightly sunken, clearly several ribs have broken in more than one place, no wonder she's having such difficulty breathing. Decades of being around Carlisle pay off. I know what's wrong with her, as if that weren't obvious anyway; one of her broken ribs must have punctured her lung causing air to build up in the space between her ribs and lung causing it to collapse. If I can't save her quickly she'll die.
I sense Carlisle's thoughts before he arrives in the room.
Her breathing. She has a pheumothorax. I tell him.
He immediately removes the rest of her shirt, exposing her stomach which is bruised and swollen. He begins to press on it. He then completes a full head to toe survey to assess for her most serious injuries.
"Edward, she's bleeding into her tummy as well, we can't save her here, I don't have the equipment." He tells me as he checks her body, feeling for a pulse. He moves at lightning speed. "Even if she were in a hospital I'm not sure she'd make it with her injuries.
"Please." I beg him. I can't lose her.
"Edward, I can barely find a pulse and it's getting weaker, her heart will stop soon, you need to choose. Let her die or make her immortal."
Suddenly she stops breathing completely.
"Edward now! I will do all I can to keep her alive through the transformation but it may already be too late."
I make my choice. She can't die. I am condemning her to a life of immortal hell for my own selfish reasons.
I sink my teeth into her neck, biting her body, getting my venom into her system as quickly as possible. She doesn't scream, she makes no resistance.
"Rosalie," Carlisle calls "Help me ventilate Bella while I work at the rest of her." Rosalie quickly attached an oxygen cylinder to a BVM and places the mask over her face, squeezing the bag to face air into her lungs. Breathing for her, my darling Bella.
I can't lose her.
Carlisle takes a scalpel from his bag and makes an incision in her side. He pushes a tube through the cut and connects it to a bottle.
"Edward, the drain will make it easier for her to breath during the transformation but her injuries are serious. She might not make it as it is."
