The jaunty theme song of the 'Wizard of Oz' plays softly somewhere, rousing Sam from her slumber. She opens her eyes and looks up at her makeshift pillow.

"Comfy?" Jack asks, gently pulling her head onto his shoulder once more; he isn't met with protest.

She smiles. "Yeah," she replies.

Chapter Seven

The silence in the cell is just as cold as the shiny, black floor that I've been staring at for about an hour. It looks as though Daniel may be sleeping, and I think Teal'c is meditating. Several hours of not knowing quite what to say must be draining – I certainly don't blame Jack, Daniel or Teal'c. I, on the other hand, know exactly what to say but I would somehow feel guilty breaking such a heavy silence. It is, after all, my fault that they're stuck here. They came to rescue me, or rather, the person I'd been before my memories were stolen from me.

Instead, they come to discover that the person I had once been, the person they had been looking for was long gone and I was all that was left…The useless shell, the remnant who managed to get them all captured and locked in a cell.

A voice startles me. "It's not your fault, Carter," says Jack. My thoughts had robbed me temporarily of sight; he'd been watching me.

I'm stunned: had I been unconsciously speaking aloud? Seeing my shock, Jack lets a hint of a smile appear on his face.

"Don't look so surprised," he says, leaning back on the cell wall leisurely. "I know you well enough to know what that look means." I'm still not able to form a sentence. He takes the opportunity without hesitation. "Don't worry about it," he presses.

I… That… It's too simple! He's not supposed to forgive me so easily!

I look around, since I'm now too jumpy to maintain a steady gaze anywhere – my fingers, the floor, the ceiling, Daniel or Teal'c. Out of places to look, I finally look to Jack as well.

I'm well aware that I'm still wearing what Jack has referred to as "my thinking face" but I can't help it. I am thinking, after all. I'm only vaguely conscious of the fact that he's staring at me, however it doesn't bother me. I know he's watching me, but it is different to the times when Ba'al watched me. Jack isn't expecting anything; I'm not a test subject in his eyes. He is simply waiting. He waits for me to gather my thoughts, to harness the wild sentence fragments that run amuck in my mind – and then for me to allow him to hear them.

It's somehow calming, knowing I'm in no way obligated to blurt out my thoughts. My mind slows. My eyes still. Already I feel more ordered.

"Dreams..." I pronounce slowly. "When I first woke up here, I thought I'd find nothing in my dreams. I thought I'd find the same nothingness as here in reality. But…" I pause to breathe. I look to Jack, hoping with all the air in my lungs that he'll understand what I'm saying. "I do remember. When I sleep, I have these flashes, but there…I can remember everything, I can see everything I've lost. But, in that place, it's just second nature to know what I know and I have no reason to hold onto it so tightly – because I think it'll always be there! And then I…" I shake my head, ashamed of myself. "And then I wake up and it's gone. I'm left with these familiar feelings and emotions I don't understand."

It had seemed almost natural to tell Jack these things when I started, but as I finish, I discover my heart has swollen in my chest and my head feels as though it's full of mist. I laugh at myself. Perhaps all I've just said made more sense as thoughts in my mind.

Jack isn't sure what to do now, I think, and neither do I – it seems a strange, "oh, and by the way" sort of thing to say (he never asked me anything, I realise, and I unprecedentedly threw my baggage at him).

He clears his throat. "Well," he says. "I can tell you right now that I've always had a way with words…" I smile as sarcasm nibbles at his tone. "...And this is an unusual instance, my being speechless. But, uh… I guess, um… if you can still remember in your dreams, then we can help you remember, you know, for real."

I don't even allow hope the chance to surface even for the smallest of moments. "I don't think that's possible." I subconsciously notice him moving to sit next to me. I sniffle back tears that are, again, threatening to humiliate me. "I've tried," I explain. "I've tried so many times and I still can't…" Even as I try to use the prospect of embarrassment to my own advantage, my vision becomes hopelessly blurred and my sniffles grow more difficult to keep quiet.

All of a sudden, there's a strong arm around my shoulders. Jack pulls me close and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay," he whispers, and I'm grateful for the warmth that his embrace gives. "The Tok'ra have this memory…thingy…that'll help you remember, I promise."

A familiar feeling washes over me fleetingly like a soft breeze on a winter afternoon. Still, I don't have a clue what Tok'ra is, nor what its memory…thing…is.

I try to hold onto that levity while I try not to sound too hopeful. "Ba'al tried to dig up my memories with his machine; it didn't work."

"The Tok'ra's doohickey will." Surely he's not as confident as he sounds. "And God knows I've hated those guys," continues Jack, laughing in such a way that could only be described as a release of nervous tension, "But gee…a better doohickey has never been invented."

In spite of myself, I have to laugh as well. Not quite hesitantly, I lean closer into him. He doesn't seem to mind. "So…" I quickly sober; my voice drops to just above a murmur. "Do you really think it could work?" I know there's only one way he'd ever answer me, but I need to hear it; I have to hear it. I look up at him.

He meets my eyes. "It has to."

All of a sudden, there are footsteps. In half a heartbeat, Teal'c is on his feet, Jack half a heartbeat behind him. Daniel, who is prodded awake by several gentle nudges of Jack's toe, takes a little longer to be on his feet, but he soon is fully aware and what is happening and is alongside Jack and Teal'c. I'm up too, but hang back slightly: I don't want to be even more of a burden on these people.

Guards appear at the entrance to the cell. "Colonel O'Neill will come with us," they say, their tones more solid and unvarying than a rock preserved in a solid steel vault. A tremor takes to my knees as I watch Jack leave. Apart from the pained smile he throws to each of us as he leaves, he dares not glance back at us as he disappears behind the lowering door. Resigned, I let myself fall back down to the hard bench.

Daniel can see me worrying. "He'll be alright, Sam," he tells me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nod, eager but disinclined to believe him. I look over to Teal'c for confirmation. The tall man nods once, but it's clear that they both know something important that I don't. I feel bile rise in my throat and I have to squeeze my eyes closed fight both it and to control the shudder that I can feel tingling in my spine. I lean back against the wall and try to relax, but –

I can't begin to imagine what Ba'al might be doing to Jack.

All I can imagine is pain. I can imagine its jagged rivulets that tear into his nerves. I can imagine the white hot fire that rages in his brain, a limitless inferno that burns infinitely hotter as he tries to regain his breath before he's inflicted with a new pain. I can imagine the sweat that he's bleeding like a life force as he tries to hold back his own cries, only to have them tear from his throat anyway...

"Sam," says Daniel, more strongly this time, cutting through my thoughts. "We'll get you out of here – we'll all get out of here."

"Indeed." It's Teal'c's turn to contribute. His eyes bore into mine, set with determination. "We have left you behind on one occasion already. It will not happen again."

I nod vacantly and turn away – they say they left me behind, but I can neither remember nor believe it.

I'm tired. I'm conflicted. I need sleep, but don't know what good it'll do. I don't want to be awake to think the thoughts that are running through my mind, but I don't want to sleep to remember things I'm only going to forget again. I want to run – somewhere, anywhere – and yet I want to find the most obscure corner to curl up in and stay there. Feeling useless, I lean back against the wall again and close my eyes.


:: Author's notes ::

We are nearing the end! Only a couple of chapters to go now n.n An elephant-sized thank you to everybody who's read and/or reviewed; thanks again~

Thanks, as usual, goes out to beta drey'auc475, who ensures my writing isn't packed with words that I made up ^^;;

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and have a really great day ^_^