Chapter 7: The Gates of St. John
The fight was lost on Sherlock as sometime near the middle of it Alice's chain swung into his head, and he fell in a daze at John's feet,letting the soldier take up the torch for a while.
Her skull rolled out of his hands, and was stairing him in the half- dreaming eyes, for a long moment, before he surrendered to the darkness in his soul,hearing John's voice shouting over the others like the helmsman over the wind.
And when all was dark and quiet,and passed from the storm, to the abyss his own heart had become, by reason of abuses, she was there, as ever she had been, in the ruins of the palace of his mind.
He woke lying on the ground, to find her lying beside him, on her stomach, arms folded, girlish lips curled inquistively,large dark eyes searching him for sign of life. "Yoohoo, are you home ,Sherlock?"
He laughed,"Where is that, you tell me?"
She smiled sadly. "Anytime I come to this place, here you are..." he muttered.
She rolled over on her back,and stretched, curling a brow at him. "Ofcourse..."
Sherlock noted she was dressed in red, and a stone washed pair of American brand jeans. Just like she'd been when they were 19 years old, and alive.
"I'm going to get a conviction for them, you'll see. I'll prove the Hyde Park Assault was actually attempted murder.I'll prove the St. James Square murder, the Drury Lane Assault, The murder at Dicken's House...All of it.I'll send Alice away down her rabbit hole ,in chains, just like I promised you..."
She smiled. "Oh, I believe you..." she laughed, fingerng the grass beside her. The landscape of Sherlock's mind palace was more like Ireland, for whatever reason. Somewhere not so far away,the ocean crashed like the tears his broken spirit could not weep for her.
"But," she rolled over on her stomach again, and smiled at him. "But, don't become so involved in justice, that you forget mercy. Don't let the burn of death keep you from having a life..."
"What are you trying to say, Caroline?I- I have a life..."
"A life's work yes,and you have done a marvellous job, and I couldn't be more proud of you...But your life isn't a what,it's who...Don't become so hollow, so carried away with life, with the ebb and the flow of the tide, with the demands of this greed fevered, media crazed generation, with the answer to your riddles,that you don't enjoy the mystery of it all...Don't forget why you do what you do...Who it's for..."
"John..."
"Your John..." she laughed.
"My John.."
She smiled."But,...How do I get to him? I feel like I'm standing behind a glass wall. In the bottom of a fishbowl,or at the bottom of a sea of no water...Emptiness engulfing me,.I can't escape myself. I'm not human, but machine...Gave up,my humanity..."
Caroline laughed..."Oh, I have faith in you.."she chuckled. "You can do the things no one else can. You can be what no one else can. You've transcended, because you gave up your soul. You loved...Love isn't what we take, but what we give, what we lose, so that other's can keep it...My gift was my voice. Someone has to die, for justice to be done to those who's hearts already had murder in them. Your gift is your eyes. You see everything...Now I ask you to do something for me, because I can't anymore. Give me a reason to believe. See a way that I can't see, out of this meaningless Empty. See the Light... See, and believe. Have faith for me...show me the way to resting in peace."
Then Sherlock could see a light in the darkness,a star in the shadow,and he told her,even as he began to wake up..
"I was in darkness all my life, until the star of the morning came to live with me on earth. John Watson is the Light of my eyes. The motivation...If I believe in silver shores,or streets of gold,if there is life after the cold knife of murder, if there are gates of white marble somewhere beyond the world,then he will lead the way. Nothing else calculates...If I believe, I believe in him..."
He heard Caroline's soft laughter as he surfaced from out of the Emptiness, under a tree in Hyde park ,late at night. John very near by.
"Remember me, when you come into your kingdom..."
"No, Caroline, you're going to be there too..."
