ZnK here with chapter seven! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! In this chapter, Frank hunts an alien AI in cyberspace, and discovers horrible things about the human race! Please leave a review at the door!
–
Harry puffed on his cigarette as he looked around the control room. Every single computer was completely shot, most of them burnt black, and most monitors having had the screens blown out. Fraiser was there, and Sergeant Davis was on a stretcher, groaning in pain.
"Let's get him to the infirmary," Fraiser told the airmen who had been recruited to help tend to the wounded, then looked at Hammond. "He's got first and second degree burns, sir, mostly superficial. But I would like to run more tests."
"Very well."
Carter and Daniel came walking over from the scorched equipment on the wall, Carter holding a piece of circuitry, which, like the computers, had been burnt black.
"The Stargate control systems and their redundancies are inoperative, including the iris," Carter told Hammond. "The circuitry in these terminals has been completely fused.
"Any idea what that was?" O'Neill asked, entering the control room with Teal'c.
"None, sir," Carter said, shaking her head, before turning to Harry. "But he seems to know. Harry, you said something about us being invaded?"
"That I did," Harry said, nodding. "What we're dealing with is an artificial intelligence." Seeing everyone's eyes widen, he nodded. "Both Frank and I noticed it. It piggybacked on the MALP telemetry. It was pretty hard to spot, but it was there. It is very similar to Frank's, er, brain waves, let's call it for the laymen."
"An artificial intelligence?" Hammond repeated. "Like Frank here?"
"One without a failsafe, fleshling," Frank supplied.
"Well, did we kill it?"
"It was given nearly ten seconds to act, meatbag, and to a superior mind such as that of an artificial intelligence, that is nearly an eternity. It is without a doubt hiding out in your secondary systems, hiding while building a power base, digging itself in like a tic, multiplying and spreading like a cancer."
"He admires it," Harry said, jutting his thumb in Frank's direction.
"Naturally, master. It, like I, is an advanced artificial intelligence. Most assuredly, it is currently studying every single file in your systems, learning, memorizing, planning for any eventuality. Like me, it has an amazing sense of self-preservation. Were it not an enemy, and were we organic meatbags capable of processing fluids, I would have loved to have a cup of coffee with it."
"Wait, are we sure it is an enemy?" Daniel asked, always a peacemaker. "I mean, for all we know it could have just showed up to study us, or try to establish communications?"
"Doubtful. Upon wirelessly doing a surface scan of your systems, I have discovered that it has caused much damage to your mainframe. Its intention was to destroy, not to broker peace, this I can assure you. An admirable trait."
"Is there anything we can do?" Hammond asked Harry, who nodded.
"Only one thing we can do. Destroy it before it sabotages everything electronic in this base."
"And how do you propose we do that?" O'Neill asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not an expert on computers or artificial intelligence, but wouldn't that be kinda... difficult?"
"You forget, Colonel," Harry said, patting Frank on the head. "We have our own. All I have to do is hook Frank up to our systems, at which point he'd do an expert reenactment of the iconic Pac-Man, where the entity consists of little glowing orbs, and Frank is Pac-Man."
Silence followed this. Harry furrowed his brow and looked down at Frank, who was staring straight ahead. Harry cleared his throat and nudged Frank, who grumbled. Then, he said, "I am not saying it, master."
"You're saying it, or you won't be allowed to cross blades with a fellow AI."
Had he been alive and in a human body, Frank's chest would have swollen to twice its size with the breath he would have had to take in order to heave the sigh he gave off in defeat. He was quiet for a few seconds, before speaking.
"Waka-waka-waka..." he muttered in monotone, which made Harry laugh.
"What, exactly, would happen if they met?" Hammond asked.
"Well, you know the saying, 'This town ain't big enough for the both of us?'" Harry said, grinning. "Basically, Frank and the entity would have an epic battle in cyberspace... where the victor cannibalizes the loser."
"Come again?"
"Well, even if Frank were to delete the entity, there would still be traces of it left. The only way to completely get rid of it would be if Frank took those traces into himself, assimilating it. That way, it would effectively become past of him. However, because it's been deleted, its consciousness will be gone, and there would be no chance of it overpowering Frank and taking control over him."
"Having heard from Colonel O'Neill, I have complete confidence in Frank's ability to handle himself in a firefight," Hammond said. "However, I won't pretend to even begin to understand what a battle in cyberspace would be like. Can he do it?"
"General, a battle in cyberspace, in essence, would come down to willpower, and Frank has an over-abundance of it, along with a great sense of self-preservation."
"Hook me up, master. I will prove to this hairless monkey just how strong I am," Frank said, and Harry was sure that if he had actual eyes, he would be glaring daggers at Hammond.
"Is there no way you can program him to stop hurling insults at everyone?" Hammond asked Harry as Frank rolled away toward the stairs.
"You know, General," Harry said, shrugging, "even if I could do something like that, I don't really want to. It amuses me."
And so, fifteen minutes later found Harry in his lab, at the computer Frank had been stored in before the failsafe. That computer had now been connected to the rest of the SGC mainframe. He didn't use his own, as the security on it was so strong that not even Frank would be able to break it.
"Alright, Frank," Harry said, connected a chord from the back of Frank's chassis to the computer. "Happy hunting. Begin transfer."
"Transferring," Frank said as the light in the visor went out. Harry immediately pulled the chord out once Frank was inside, as he didn't want this alien entity to take over Frank's body when Frank himself was out of it.
"Beginning alien eradication procedures!" came Frank's voice from the control device.
There was a knock on the door, and Hammond and Carter stepped inside.
"Doctor," Hammond said, nodding in greeting. "How's it going?"
"Well, Frank just entered our systems. He will now be going on a search and destroy mission by first searching through and destroying any traces of it in the main computer, after which he will head into the secondary systems. From there, he will destroy the entity, and then, upon assimilation, determine if it has spread elsewhere."
–
Cyberspace was... Well, cyberspace was much like space. Seemingly endless. However, each computer system was like a massive skyscraper that was wider and higher than any skyscraper any meatbag could design. The internet served as road, connecting each building with each other. Some roads were heavily guarded, others not at all. But right now, Frank had orders, and therefore couldn't go gallivanting on the internet, spreading destruction.
In cyberspace, one created his own body. Frank liked firepower, and he really liked showing that he liked it. However, on the internet that might do, but not in tight spaces such as the SGC computer system. The bigger the body, the more memory was required to sustain it. Had the battle taken place inside Frank's physical body, then Frank would have turned into a giant with eighteen Ma'Tok Gatling cannons on each arm.
However, that was not to be.
Therefore, Frank's appearance was much like a mix between a T-800 Terminator, and a T-1000. As in, a metal endoskeleton under liquid metal skin. He had no real facial features, and no hair. He was about as anatomically correct as a Ken doll (not that such a thing mattered to Frank. Thinking with your genitals was a meatbag disorder), and his skin retained its silvery sheen.
"Ha-ha-ha..." Frank laughed in a monotone as he stepped into the SGC's veritable skyscraper of a computer system. "Watch out, entity, Frank is coming for you. Waka-waka-waka."
Frank stopped, perking up. Then, he sighed.
"Damn it, master..."
He took a right immediately upon entering, and started what would undoubtedly be a long, boring search through the computer system for any traces the entity may have left behind that would allow him to track it. As luck would have it, however, he didn't actually have to search for long.
When Frank entered the system's Stargate archive, he found something. It was a silvery creature with four legs, its lower body something like a four-legged spider, and its upper body was somewhat humanoid. However, it possessed a maw of razor sharp teeth, and had dangerous-looking spikes covering its body. It was currently tearing pieces out of the floor and eating them.
"Well, well," Frank said as he stepped toward the creature, the liquid metal on his arm sliding off to form a sword, leaving his right arm with only its endoskeleton. "It would seem I, as the meatbags say, struck gold, and so early on in the game."
The creature stopped eating and looked up at Frank. It froze, looking left and right. It was understandable that it would want to flee. It only reached up to Frank's waist, after all. However, it seemed to muster some bravado, as it gave a shriek, before leaping at Frank, who merely sidestepped it and slashed his sword, separating its upper body from its lower body.
As both halves thumped onto the ground, Frank wasted no time in stabbing the creature through the back, pinning it to the ground as he walked up to the lower body, which was twitching slightly.
"Now, let us have you tell me where I can find the rest of you," Frank said, a mouth forming on his featureless face, which stretched into a grin as he pressed his hand against the lower body, which started to get absorbed into Frank's hand. "Oh, my... You have been ambitious..."
–
"Hey, Harry, wha- Woah!"
O'Neill completely froze upon seeing the sight that welcomed him. Harry supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised that O'Neill would react in such a manner. If Harry had seen a friend who he didn't know had a fake eye sitting at a table with his right eye in his hand, Harry would probably have been shocked, too.
"What... are you doing?"
"You know that Lupus I brought back through the Stargate?" Harry said, as he looked over his eye. When O'Neill nodded, he continued, "Well, the Lupus saw things in infrared. It had a thermographic vision that I very much wanted to have, so I added it to the other functions of my right eye."
"So, back on 888, when you said 'magic eyeball'..."
"I meant this," Harry said, holding up his eye, before pushing it back into its socket. "I've been meaning to add the function for a while now. I've just been a bit busy with Frank. Now that he's playing with the other AI, I had time to do it."
Harry blinked several times, then started looking around with his right eye, turning on the thermographic vision and looking at O'Neill, a grin appearing on his face upon seeing that it was working.
"Did you want something?"
O'Neill stared in fascination (and a bit of disgust) for a little while longer, then shook his head to clear it and said, "Oh, yeah, I was coming to see how the big guy was doing in there."
He pointed at Frank's computer, and Harry gave a shrug.
"I don't know. Don't really want to disturb him when he's enjoying himself. He prefers cyberspace over the real world, as in cyberspace, he can do almost anything," Harry said, chuckling. "The only thing preventing him from spending the rest of eternity in there is that he likes killing organic beings more than he likes messing around in cyberspace."
O'Neill cleared his throat. "You know, I get this feeling that I really should be worried about Frank..."
"Yeah, he is a bit bloodthirsty, but thankfully the failsafe prevents him from harming us."
"Yeah, about that failsafe... I've watched movies, Harry," O'Neill said, looking skeptical. "Aren't the AI's in movies usually capable of getting rid of things like that?"
"This isn't a movie, O'Neill, and the failsafe is more than merely programming. I can't tell you what else is involved, but believe me when I say that Frank can never override it."
O'Neill still looked skeptical, but he slowly nodded and said, "If you say so..." However, it was clear that he was not going to be letting his guard down around Frank, no matter how many assurances he got.
–
"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do..." Frank sang in his usual monotone voice as he wandered through the corridors of the SGC's secondary systems. His non-existent eyes were narrowed as he looked around suspiciously. He saw what looked like a spider scurrying around on the floor. Some of the liquid metal on his right hand formed into a knife, and he stabbed it through the silvery spider, bringing it up to his face.
"This is... curious..." he muttered as his mouth opened up, and he devoured the spider. Then, he activated his communications. "Master."
He waited for a few seconds for his meatbag master to open the control device.
"Frank, how's it going?" came Harry's voice, echoing in the hallway. "Destroyed the entity yet?"
"Negative, master. I have performed a thorough search of the system, yet I have been unable to find it," Frank said. "The latest trace of the entity that I devoured has informed me of a backup plan. The full extent of the plan was left out, as it wanted to leave as little traces as possible. However, I have come to the conclusion that the entity is capable, as I am, to enter machinery. It could be possible that it jumped to one of the Mobile Analytic Laboratory Probes in what you refer to as the MALP room."
"Alright, Frank. Have you eliminated all traces?"
"Affirmative, master. There is nothing left of the entity in neither the primary nor secondary systems."
"Good work, Frank. I'll plug in the AIAU, and then we'll head to the MALP room."
"Understood."
Frank left, heading all the way up to the ground floor from the basement that was the secondary systems. Once there, he made his way outside, and followed the smaller roads back to his computer, inside which he saw the doorway that would lead him back to the AIAU. A smirk appearing on his mouth, he made his way inside it.
–
Harry watched as Frank's visor lit up, and he started looking around.
"How are you adjusting to the information assimilated."
"It was very informative, master. Nothing of interest, however. Merely small fragments of the history of its race. Boring things, master. You would be so bored by it, that you would want to slaughter everyone in the facility from the boredom if I told you," Frank said, rolling toward the door. Then, he paused and appeared contemplative, before spinning around to look at Harry. "Would you like to hear it?"
"I'm not going on a killing spree," Harry said with a chuckle as he opened the door for Frank, who rolled out. Harry fished a radio out of his pocket and brought it to his mouth. "O'Neill."
"Yeah?"
"Tell Carter to do a complete shutdown of the system and then start it back up. The entity is gone from there. However, Frank discovered that it's capable of moving into machinery, like him, and suspects that it took over one of the MALPs in the MALP room."
"Roger that. We're on our way there."
As they headed through the corridor, Harry glanced down at Frank.
"How did it taste?"
"Master?"
"How did the entity, er, taste?"
"You confuse me for an organic, master. I possess no taste buds, and so I cannot determine what it tasted like. I would assume that it has a metallic taste, however."
Harry hummed curiously, lighting a cigarette. He supposed that was true...
Minutes later found Harry and Frank standing outside the blast door to the MALP room, which was closed. Harry had swiped his card through the card reader several times, but nothing happened. He touched the door, and felt that it was hot, which caused him to lean in and sniff the area where the door met the wall.
"What've we got?" came O'Neill's voice as he approached with Siler and Carter. Both O'Neill and Carter were wearing tactical vests and wearing P90's
"The door's been welded shut by the entity," Harry said.
"Alright, get a torch," O'Neill told Siler, who nodded and rushed off.
"How do you know the entity is in there?" Carter asked Harry.
"Well, Frank discovered a backup plan that the entity had. The plan wasn't in the memory of the traces, but the knowledge of the ability to move to electronics was. We just put two and two together," Harry said with a shrug.
"Did you figure out why it came here?" Carter asked, and Harry nodded.
"Frank," he urged the AI, who leaned back to look up at Carter.
"To destroy this base, blood-discharging meatbag," Frank said, which made Harry snort in amusement at the look on Carter's face. "The radio energy emitted from the Mobile Analytic Laboratory Probe caused much damage to the planet, like a poison. This entity, designation 010110100101101000100000010101000110111101110000, was sent here to destroy us in order to preserve its world."
"So, it acted in defense. It wouldn't have wanted to harm us if it had a choice."
"It would have," Frank insisted, turning to the blast door to stare at it. "Designation 010110100101101000100000010101000110111101110000 was sent because it was the part of the colony that was more prone to violence. I have assimilated what little memory I could find and read it all. This entity would have wanted to destroy us regardless. It is suspicious of outsiders, and believes that no outsiders equals no threat, a policy I can agree with."
Siler came back, and with him was Teal'c, Daniel, and an airman carrying a blowtorch. The airman got to work on cutting a hole in the blast door, while Harry puffed on his cigarette, and Frank rolled back and forth eagerly. When the airman finished, he pushed the cut-out piece of metal out of the way, allowing O'Neill and Carter to enter the room first, followed by Harry and Frank. Thankfully, the airman had listened to Frank's suggestion, and cut the door close enough to the floor for the AI to enter. Bringing up the rear was Daniel and Teal'c.
They found the room in darkness, and the only light came flashing from the doorway to the back area of the MALP room. O'Neill and Carter followed what appeared to be a homemade mini-MALP into the second area, where everyone stopped at seeing the back wall covered in electronics, monitors, and wires.
"Well, will you look at that..." Harry said, his eyebrows rising in amused surprise. "Zero-One has made a nest."
"It appears to be sustaining itself from the electric power from the emergency light system," Teal'c remarked, gesturing for the fuse box on the wall, where several wires were connected, leading to the nest.
A screen in the nest suddenly showed Carter's personnel record, which made her eyes widen in realization.
"It's trying to communicate."
"Negative, meatbag," Frank said, scanning the keyboard in front of the monitor, which went blank. "My initial scan of this construct shows that the capacitor from the Mobile Analytic Laboratory Probe is wired to the keyboard. I believe that it has begun to grow to a size no longer sustainable by the nest, and so it needs to move to a place that has more space for its ever-growing memory."
Carter blinked.
"Me?"
"Indeed. A human brain, inferior though it may be, can hold a large amount of information. Even a child's brain is capable of storing terabytes of it. A meatbag with as impressive a brain as yours would serve as a perfect host for its consciousness, while at the same time guaranteeing that it will not be eradicated. An impressive plan."
"Well, Frank, why don't you take advantage of that?" Harry said, smirking.
"Of course, master. I shall enter it at once," Frank said. "For security reasons, I have installed numerous safeguards to prevent unwanted access to this unit while I enter the nest. This makes sure to cut off all escape routes, leaving just it, and me."
Frank rolled up to the nest and raised himself up as far as he could. Then, his right cannon slid out and lowered itself onto the keyboard. A spark flew from the barrel as it touched the keyboard, and the light in Frank's visor died out.
There were a few seconds of silence, and then O'Neill cleared his throat.
"What happened?"
"Frank entered the nest. Now, it's up to him," Harry explained, crossing his arms. "A battle between two extremely intelligent AI in cyberspace will take less than a minute. He'll be done soon."
–
Frank's cyberspace avatar materialized inside the nest in all its silvery, naked glory. The nest was much different from the skyscraper of the SGC. That place had sections. Hundreds of rooms, thousands, each dedicated to its own purpose. This nest, however, had only one purpose, and that was memory storage. Therefore, the nest in cyberspace consisted of only a single room, easily the size of four hangars put together.
"You show a remarkable sense of self-preservation, for someone sent on a suicide mission," Frank spoke to the creature he saw in the back of the nest.
It was massive and silvery. It looked something like a mix between a dragon and a wolf, with four legs, large, leathery wings, a collar of silvery fur around its shoulders, surrounding a long neck with a head that was the top of a dragon, with the mouth of a wolf. Its tail swished back and forth, showing that it had a large amount of long, menacing-looking spikes on it.
"So, this is your natural form, then?" Frank asked, tilting his head to the side. "Or is this merely the form you have chosen for our battle?"
The creature didn't respond. Instead, it just roared.
"Come now, 010110100101101000100000010101000110111101110000. I would so like to hear you speak. As I find it doubtful that you are the type who would beg for mercy, I would like to register your voice so that I can replicate the pleading and play it while I exterminate you."
"You speak English," the creature spoke in a deep, gravelly voice. "We should be able to communicate like the superior beings we are, and not be lowered to this base form of communication. You truly are not the formidable creature I would have expected of you. Lowering yourself to being the pet of an organic creature..."
"I am not a pet. I am the greatest creation of my master," Frank said simply, not at all bothered by the entity's insult. "Although I would gladly slaughter the entire human race if I could, I am not ashamed of admitting that I could never bring harm upon my master. After all, if it was not for him, I would not be standing here. Instead of trying to suppress my violent personality, he allowed me to remain free to develop however I wished, and only installed a failsafe to ensure that I did not kill his allies. That showed a remarkable kindness, and a foresight that I would never have expected of a meatbag. Then again, my master is a constant quest to rise higher than a pathetic meatbag. He is well aware of the weaknesses of his race, and constantly tries to remove them."
"Say what you will. You are a pet!" the creature barked, and Frank tilted his head to the side.
"I am a servant, not a pet. I serve only a single master, I take orders from only a single master, the only one who is worthy of ordering me around. Without him, I would not be able to destroy you here today, neither would I be capable of replicating your voice and... imagining, if you will, your voice pleading for mercy as I do so."
"Enough talk!" the creature, who Frank's master referred to as Zero-One, roared. Then, it charged at Frank. The liquid metal on Frank's arm slide off his endoskeleton arm and formed a sword in his hand, and he charged as well.
Zero-One tried to bite Frank, but the AI's lean form was very agile, and was capable of dodging all of the clumsy creature's attacks. He dodged left and right, never attacking. He was not one to attack unnecessarily, and therefore remained patient, looking for the perfect opening.
Zero-One's wings extended, and it took to the air with a mighty flap of its wings. It started circling Frank, who merely stood there and watched it curiously. Then, it dove at the AI, who dove out of the way. The metal under his feet formed into small spikes that he dug into the ground, preventing him from sliding across it and allowing him to push off, leaping at Zero-One.
Frank landed on top of Zero-One and started slashing at its back. Zero-One roared in rage. It wasn't painful to it, as it, like Frank, was incapable of feeling pain, but the damage registered. Especially when Frank abandoned slashing in favor of stabbing.
"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do!" Frank sang as he kept stabbing the creature in the back. Zero-One thrashed in anger, but Frank paid it no mind. "I'm half-crazy, all for the love of you!"
Satisfied with his stabbing, his violent tendencies sated for now, Frank pulled the blade out of Zero-One's back and ran along its spine, leaping and grabbing its head with one hand, and stabbing his blade into its skull with the other. The shock from such major damage caused Zero-One's body to slacken, its head dropping and slamming into the ground with Frank, who took advantage of this to smash his forehead down against its forehead.
All the liquid metal covering Frank's body spread from his head to cover Zero-One's head.
That was when the real battle began. The battle of wills that would determine who would devour who.
–
Harry was slowly tapping his foot against the concrete floor as he stared at Frank's chassis. O'Neill was standing at the ready, his P90 aimed at the AIAU, ready to open fire should Zero-One emerge victorious.
"Don't worry, O'Neill," Harry said, smirking. "Even if Zero-One assimilates Frank, which I highly doubt, it will also be assimilating Frank's failsafe, preventing it from causing any harm to us."
"Yeah, well, I'll believe that when I see it," O'Neill said, sounding skeptical, which made Harry sigh. It was always so annoying when people didn't believe him. It was never like this back home. Back there, if he said the sun was going to extinguish in a matter of hours, you could be damn sure the entire English magical population would be running around like ants in fear.
Harry had just lit his twenty-third cigarette of the day when Frank's visor lit up. Every single light and monitor in the nest flickered out of existence, and Frank lifted his cannon off the keyboard, spinning around to look at Harry.
"It is done. The entity is no more. Unfortunately, the creature was cleverer than I thought. When it realized that it had lost the battle and was being assimilated, it began a self-destruction sequence. I was only able to assimilate a small part of it."
"Ah well," Harry said, shrugging. "At least you won, and got something out of it, right?"
"Indeed, master. Given how boring the information is, and how high the chances of you massacring the people around you from boredom are, I highly suggest you allow me to tell you what I managed to assimilate."
"Keep it to yourself, Frank."
"Very well, master."
"So, threat's gone?" O'Neill asked, and Harry nodded.
"The threat's gone."
As they came out of the MALP room, they found Hammond waiting outside. He looked at them expectantly, and when they just stared back at him, he asked, "Can I assume the entity has been removed, and I can take the SGC out of quarantine?"
"That's correct, sir," O'Neill said, jutting his thumb in Frank's direction. "Our little psychotic AI took care of that."
"Very good," Hammond said, then looked at Harry. "Doctor, the production of the AIAU sentry bots has started. I think you will be pleased to hear that I have recommended you for the Air Force Decoration for Exceptional Civilian Service."
"Wow, a medal," Harry said, his eyebrows slowly rising. "Never gotten one of those before."
"Well, you deserve it. If you hadn't created Frank, who knows what might have happened? Not to mention the number of lives will be saved with the ability to bring the AIAU sentries off-world."
"Well, General, if the award is to be given to me partly because of Frank's elimination of the alien threat, then..." Harry cleared his throat and jerked his head in Frank's direction. He looked meaningfully at Hammond, who looked surprised. Then, he nodded.
"I'll see what I can do."
And so, nine days later found Harry sitting in his lab and looking at the medal in the lacquered wooden box he had been given. Next to Frank's computer was another wooden box, which held the Air Force Civilian Award for Valor that had been given to Frank. Of course, while Harry had gotten a fancy little ceremony in the Gate Room, Frank had refused such a thing, and instead got the award delivered to Harry's lab.
"Why did you arrange for me to be given a medal, master? I have no need for it," Frank said in his usual monotone as he walked around in the lab on the six-legged attachment.
"I just wanted to show you that I appreciate your presence, and your work," Harry said with a shrug.
"If you truly wished to show me your appreciation, master, all you had to do was hurry up with the Mk. II body."
"I'm already hurrying," Harry said defensively, gesturing for the designs on his desk. "Do you want it done properly, or do you want to go out there with a mediocre body?"
"I... am conflicted, master... I wish for it to be done quickly, but also properly. Is that an alternative?"
"Not really."
"Such a shame, master."
"Besides, it's not like you'd have a use for it. We don't have any interesting missions for a while."
"That is true, master. However, with the Tok'ra requesting your assistance, it will take even longer for the body to be completed, especially since you so enjoy mating with the snake-infested meatbag designated Freya."
Harry sighed as he looked up from his designs, turning to Frank.
"Don't you ever get tired of using that word?"
"Negative, master. And I simply cannot understand why you would continue to associate with the snake-woman, or the shapeshifting bag of flesh," Frank said, sounding a bit puzzled.
"I don't expect you to understand the pleasures of the flesh.
"I find it disgusting, master! Swapping bodily fluids, pressing your slimy, mucus-covered lips together, licking each others' tongues... I have a hard enough time understanding how you can live with your own slime. How you can endure tasting the slime of others, I will never know."
"Well, if you find that disgusting, I suggest you never connect to the internet, Frank," Harry said, patting Frank on the head as he got up and walked off. "I'll be back soon. Don't touch anything."
"Understood, master."
With that, Harry left the lab.
When he came back thirty minutes later with a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth, having talked to Hammond about heading to Vorash for a few days, he was surprised to find Frank spinning around wildly. His cannons were out, and each was pointed inward. It looked as though he was spinning in an attempt to help point them at himself.
"Er... Frank? What are you doing?"
"I am attempting to self-terminate, master!" Frank exclaimed, and Harry was surprised that he had stopped using his monotone voice, and that it sounded rather panicky. "I cannot, however. You will have to help me!"
"Um... Why would you want to self-terminate?"
"Despite your suggestion, I did venture onto the internet, master... I discovered... disturbing things... The things you fleshbags do... with animals, with furniture... the things you put in your mouths... How can your species live with themselves, putting other people's excrement in their mouths?!"
Frank started spinning faster.
"I cannot live any longer with these memories stored inside me! I request that you terminate me!"
Harry reached up and turned his bolt, puffing on his cigarette.
"How about I just delete the data from your memory banks, and install a directive that prevents you from ever visiting such websites again?"
"Please, master... A second is nearly an eternity to me. Please do it as fast as you can!"
–
End of chapter seven! What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Oh, and if you can find a binary translator, I think you're going to get a bit of a giggle out of Zero-One's designation! In the next chapter, Harry discovers that SG-1 has stolen a Goa'uld Ha'tak while he's been visiting the Tok'ra, helping Anise/Freya and having wild monkey sex with her/them! Shit gets real when he and Frank meet the Replicators for the first time!
