Author's note: This chapter starts a bit slow, but I think it gets funnier as you go along.
The thumping of Rinoa's heavy black boots echoed slowly down the hallway as she headed towards Squall's office. There was a storm of emotions that had been raging inside of her since she'd heard Squall's vague voicemail the night before. She didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. The only clear part of Squall's voicemail was that he wanted to meet with her sometime today, but she wanted to put it off indefinitely. Normally she'd be happy to see him, but not today, and not under these circumstances. Her feelings and emotions were still raw from the night before.
She had wanted to make herself look put together and strong to hide the fact that she felt the complete opposite. She'd agonized on what to wear, trying on multiple outfits. Rinoa felt like she had tried on all her clean clothes in various combinations. She finally chose something that would make her feel powerful and in control, and the only thing she had that slightly made her feel that way was her favorite blue sweater outfit and her black boots. Rinoa felt that she could kick some butt in that outfit because she already had, although she'd had a lot of help.
I'm a strong independent woman who can make her own decisions... Ok, not a lot of that statement is true, but I want it to be true. Maybe it will be someday.
She'd been procrastinating all morning by taking Angelo for a long walk, exercising, and organizing her room, so it was approaching lunch time as she made her way to Squall's office. Actually Rinoa was hoping Squall was busy with a meeting or had stepped out of his office to grab a bit of lunch. Then she could return to her room, say that she had tried to see him and it would be true. She really didn't want to talk with him today. The embarrassment she felt from last night was still fresh in her mind and she didn't want Squall to think that she was weird. Her mind was racing. Although she was a little excited that Squall wanted to talk about their relationship at all, but knowing Squall she was scared that the conversation would go something like this.
'Rinoa, you're a wonderful person, but it's me and not you. I just don't have time for relationship right now. I'm sorry, I thought I'd made that clear.'
If she'd been employed by Garden she would have thought from his tone on the voicemail that he was going to fire her.
Or worse Squall would tell her that they were sending her away to seal her powers. Ok, that was more a nightmare scenario than something she was really worrying about.
Her imagination was very active. Her father had often told her that it was too active for her own good.
She really didn't know what was going to happen, that was the worst of it. Squall's voicemail had been so vague and she just couldn't bring herself to call him and ask him what all this was about.
So even though she had gotten up early, for her anyways, she spent the morning dreading and worrying. Even with all of her thinking and worrying, she was no closer to understanding the cryptic voicemail that Squall had left. She had spent a good ten minutes listening to the voicemail over and over to where she had it memorized.
'Rinoa, This is Squall. I need to speak with you about our relationship. Please stop by my office when you can tomorrow. I really want to discuss some things with you. I hope you enjoyed dinner.'
If he'd asked her to come to his apartment, she would assume that it'd be a personal talk. But since he asked her to come to his commander's office, that was what really threw her for a loop. It was like he was trying to intimidate her. Rinoa could only hope he was oblivious to how he phrased his voicemail to her. He often was oblivious to many things concerning social interactions.
She had even thought of calling Selphie or maybe Quistis to ask if Squall had mentioned anything about this as they were around Squall ten times as long as Rinoa was each and every week. She was just so nervous that if she asked her friends that they would tell her what she feared.
She could hear Quistis saying something like 'maybe you've just read too much into it.' Selphie would most likely say something to comfort her even if it wasn't accurate. So instead she spent all night thinking about their relationship and fretting. She tried to analyze the things that Squall had said that would give her a clue as to where she stood with him. Things were just so confusing.
With all the training that SeeDs received, you would think that he'd be able to communicate clearly, Rinoa thought huffily.
Her musings had led her to the suite of offices that were reserved for the commander and Garden staff. Rinoa slowly reached out to knock at the heavy wooden door that had Squall's brass nameplate on it.
Pull it together Heartlilly. This is not like you. Forget the pet book, forget your plans, forget everything, just be who you are.
Just be yourself, and everything will turn out great!
Wow, that sounds so dumb, even when I'm just saying it to myself. I must be panicking.
Squall drummed his fingers on his wooden desk while rereading a memo from Cid that was hastily placed in his hands as he was leaving the Ragnarok yesterday. It was crumpled and had some coffee stains on it, but it was printed on official letterhead and he could read it.
'From: Headmaster Cid Kramer
To: Commander Squall Leonhart
Effective immediately, Rinoa Heartilly is to begin sorceress training with you. Edea is to help guide you both while you are getting started. Fit these trainings into your weekly schedule and then report the progress to me. Proper training is a priority, and it should be treated as such. Further inquiries should be directed to either me or Edea.'
Squall laid the crumpled memo on his desk while trying to flatten it out with his hands. Cid's careless nature about important matters irked Squall to no end. His efforts made the paper straighten slightly, but Squall was still bothered by the unprofessional sloppiness of it. He also was annoyed that Cid had just handed him the memo without verbalizing any of the contents during their lengthy meeting. He surely had enough time on the Ragnarok. They were away for hours.
That is so like Cid, just handing me some information when I'm halfway out the door to something else.
Squall's grumbling thoughts were interrupted by timid knocking at his door. At first he thought he'd imagined it, but then it continued a few seconds later.
"Come in," Squall said. Nothing happened he so spoke louder while leaning forward. "It's unlocked!" Still nothing. "ENTER!" he yelled.
Squall thought of just getting up and opening the door when he saw the handle start to turn.
Rinoa took a deep breath and suddenly thought about just turning around and leaving, but she mentally braced herself. She slowly opened the door and entered Squall's office. As she walked towards his desk she dragged her feet slightly on the carpet, her body tensed up not wanting to go through with the coming conversation.
Don't think that I will be that easy to dump Leonhart. Although, is our relationship defined enough that it is even possible to be dumped at this point? Maybe being dumped would be a step up from where I am right now. It would at least let me know where I stand. Stop thinking so much! He's looking at you funny!
Squall tilted his head to the side and looked at her apprehensively with wide eyes. He made a motion for Rinoa to sit in the chair in front of his desk.
She started to get nervous and oddly felt like she was a schoolgirl who'd been called into the principal's office. Although the thought of a cute teenaged principal was hilarious. Balamb Garden sure was crazy, even if Squall acted like he was in his 30s, he still was a teenager. A responsible and very, very serious teenager. Dead serious. Giddiness started bubbling up from her insides, she suppressed a nervous giggle, and her mind started to get very active.
Rinoa imagined marching around his desk and plopping herself down onto Squall's lap and giving him a big hug. Although she'd probably have to trap him in the Ragnarok to do that, and only if nobody else was around, and only if they were in the cold vastness of space and their deaths were possibly imminent. Knowing the missions that Garden sent SeeDs on, it just might happen again.
Well, he definitely wouldn't appreciate it here, so instead she sat down in the chair that Squall had indicated. She had popped into his office a number of times before trying to get Squall to join her for dinner or to take a walk with Angelo. He was usually so busy that he would tell her to do something with Selphie or Quistis instead and then put his head back into his work.
He didn't really get the point. He sure is kinda difficult. Why do I like him so much again?
Rinoa looked up at Squall as he was nervously brushing off the shoulders of his crisp and well-cut SeeD uniform. He then pushed some of his fantastically shiny brown hair out of the way of his perfect face while trying to get Rinoa's attention with his steely blue-gray eyes.
Wow... he is so good looking... especially in that uniform... and he saved my life... a few times in the past... he'll probably do it again a few of times in the future... hmmm... What was I just thinking about a minute ago?
Squall began to speak and Rinoa snapped to attention with a blush and a silly lopsided smile on her face. He was direct and to the point.
"Cid asked me to meet with you and to arrange a time to start your training as sorceress. We should work it into a schedule and give him regular progress reports."
Rinoa had been confused. What did her sorceress abilities have to do with their relationship?
"Um, Squall. I'm a little confused. Your voicemail message said that you needed to talk to me about our relationship. What does this have to do with our relationship?"
He looked her directly in the eyes with a questioning look and a sharply raised eyebrow. Apparently something was incredibly obvious to him that was not to Rinoa. He started to speak slowly for her to understand what he was saying.
"Rinoa, I'm your knight. I'll be training with you. I called you to discuss our sorceress-knight relationship. I've been meaning to speak with you about this for a while now. I even wanted to speak with you last night, but I fell asleep on my couch and you went back to your room."
He paused and looked down at his heavy wooden desk.
"I thought that maybe we should talk about this in the light of day when we can both pay attention and... not fall asleep. Something this important requires our full attention. This training is a priority for both of us."
Relief briefly flooded over Rinoa, followed by anger that Squall couldn't see how his poorly phrased message might make her feel ALL NIGHT.
"Well, okay." Rinoa had wanted to add another few choice words but had instead bit her tongue.
"What will we actually do in training?"
"Edea and I will be teaching you how to use and control your sorceress powers. I take it from previous conversations with Cid and Edea that the common belief is that either the sorceress learns to control her powers or the powers start to control the sorceress. Personally I don't believe anyone else really knows too much more. There really haven't been enough sorceresses to do a thorough study on the subject. At least there haven't been enough sorceresses that have been willing to be studied."
Rinoa started to smile inwardly as she realized that training would involve spending more time with Squall. And it would be a Garden-approved excuse too. Squall did anything Garden asked, eventually, even if he didn't want to.
"I think that we should start training twice a week and see how it goes. We may need to increase or decrease the sessions."
"Sure Squall." Rinoa said
After Squall had consulted his own schedule and cross referenced it with Cid and Edea's schedules he finally set a date in the middle of next week in which they could begin their training.
Rinoa could see that Squall was anxious to get back to work as he looked down to his desk and collected his papers. The wheels were turning in his head as he looked back into her eyes.
"Do you have any questions?" He said in a professional instructor's tone. He even sounded a little bit like Quistis.
How much do they hang out together during the day? Rinoa thought with a pang of jealousy.
Rinoa only wanted to ask one question.
"Can I use your kitchen?"
He wasn't expecting a question like that. If she had a question, he thought it would be more on topic.
Rinoa continued to explain, "last night your cooking inspired me and I wanted to do some baking."
Squall thought for a moment and remembered the last time that he had given Rinoa his keycard and he'd been locked out of his apartment. He frowned as he imagined his keycard lost in Rinoa's messy room. He quickly thought of a better option.
He turned to his computer and started to type rapidly. He punched in a few more times decisively, and then began to speak.
"There. I changed the your card's access. Now you will be able to get into my room. Be warned, I'll know when you come into my room as every swipe is monitored."
Technically he knew that Garden frowned upon giving students more access than was absolutely necessary, but he also knew of a few friends that bent the rules and had changed the computers to allow access. It wasn't more than a week after they returned from defeating Ultimcecia when he noticed that Selphie had changed both her and Irvine's access codes to allow them to enter each other's rooms. He was tempted while he was at it to change his access to allow entry into Rinoa's room too, but he felt he owed Rinoa a space of her own.
Maybe I shouldn't have changed the key codes, just because I'm the commander doesn't mean I should bend rules, he thought to himself a minute too late.
Squall faltered for a moment and wanted to go back in time and erase the access code from the computer. He didn't often break rules, and he was getting second thoughts. He enjoyed his own space and having privacy. He briefly imagined Rinoa throwing open the door and waltzing in on him as he was getting ready to take a shower. Or worse, Rinoa AND Selphie barging in on him. Nudity! Terror! Laughing! He could practically hear the high-pitched girlish giggling. An intensely strong wave of fear and embarrassment rolled over him.
Rinoa started sensing some of Squall's thoughts and feelings, not in words, but in glimpses of images and general feelings.
What is going on in my head right now? Why am I thinking of Squall in the shower? It must be hormones or something... Rinoa! Be professional! You're in his office! What is the matter with me? I gotta get out of here. I feel really hot and WEIRD! Rinoa thought frantically to herself while trying to keep a mask of calm coolness of her face. Her head began to swim as images floated through her mind preventing any clear thought. She didn't understand where these ideas were coming from.
"Thank you. I'll always ask before coming over. I don't want to invade your privacy," she said with strained calmness while her left eyelid started to twitch.
Squall let out a breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding in. Relief flooded him.
The oddly oppressive feelings and images that had assaulted Rinoa ended as quickly as they started. She felt like her normal self again.
Oh good, I'm fine. That was weird. Wacky hormones! She thought to herself.
She straightened her back and flipped some of her dark hair behind her shoulders to help herself regain her composure. She felt confident again, but then her stomach made a little growling noise. Squall couldn't hear it, but he did notice Rinoa clutching her stomach. At that moment Squall realized that he hadn't had anything since breakfast more than six hours ago. Although he had a lot of work he knew that if he tried to do it on an empty stomach it would take twice as long.
"Rinoa. Would you like to grab some lunch?"
"I'd like that very much." Rinoa was hoping he would ask.
"Just give me a couple of minutes to check if there are any pressing matters."
Squall typed on the laptop, checking his email and the office voicemail. After a quick couple of minutes Squall grabbed his keycard and after shutting the door to his office escorted Rinoa down the hallway towards the cafeteria.
Fifteen minutes later Squall was sitting out on the Quad with Rinoa on a bench, each with a tray of food in their laps. It was a cloudless day and the bright sun warmed them. A slight breeze caused Rinoa's dark hair to lift and fall back onto her shoulders. Rinoa had hinted it was a nice day and suggested that they find a seat in the Quad. Those passing by found it strange to see the commander sitting there. It was as if he was an animal that was outside his indigenous habitat.
Rinoa was having a good time chatting away about the last couple of days. She had calmed down about the whole relationship thing and it now only occupied a small part of her mind. She knew from her studies that knights didn't usually abandon their sorceresses. And some Internet research said that the bond was permanent. Well, it was an Internet article, but she hoped it was accurate. Anyway, it seemed unlikely that Squall was like going to leave her. Their relationship had time to grow organically on its own.
That bit of contentment she felt the night before resurfaced. She was beginning to enjoy herself. Strong feelings of love and affection washed over her.
She felt the sudden urge to grab hold of Squall's hand to give it a squeeze. They had been sitting there having finished lunch a few minutes ago. Instead of acting upon the urge Rinoa slowly placed her hand on the stone bench beside him while they both stared out towards the sky. She was surprised when Squall reached out and placed his bare hand over hers, and rubbed it gently for a minute. She held very still in shock. It was tender and loving but extremely subtle. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the beginnings of a smile were playing at the corner of his lips while they sat in the warm sunshine together.
She laughed inwardly at seeing Squall participating in a Public Display of Affection in the Quad with her, but she continued to act calm and normal to not scare him off. Her eyes stayed on the bright blue sky while she tried to breathe normally.
"Well, I should really head back to finish some work," he said as he took his hand off Rinoa's and placed it in his pocket after getting to his feet. A flushed look came over his face. He then bent in closely to Rinoa's face, and she braced herself for a possible kiss or a hug. Instead Squall lightly brushed by Rinoa's arm and grabbed the food-trays filled with forks, plates, cups, and napkins from beside her.
"I'll just return these to the cafeteria," Squall said softly while clearing his throat and lifting up the trays awkwardly for her to see them. He continued to stand in front of Rinoa, silhouetted darkly against the sun, thinking before continuing.
"I'll see you for your training," Squall recovered his voice and said in a professional manner before leaving with the trays.
What was that?! I nearly kissed Rinoa in front of everybody! Squall thought frantically to himself.
New feelings had for a moment rushed over him and his only recourse was to retreat and reassess the situation. He stood still for a moment and then turned and walked back inside leaving Rinoa sitting on the stone bench in the bright sunshine.
Okay that was a nice, a little awkward, but nice, she thought to herself.
Rinoa took a deep breath and sat still, just enjoying the moment. It was a brief moment however because something bounced out of nowhere right into her back. She had to brace herself to keep from falling over. When she looked over her shoulder she saw Selphie's smiling face. Selphie grabbed Rinoa's shoulders while stepping widely over the stone bench to sit on the same side, accidentally flashing her white underpants at her.
"Selphie, what are you doing? Were you hiding in the bushes watching us or something? You better not have been recording any of that on your phone. What have I told you about taking videos of people without their permission?!"
"That was soooooo cute," Selphie said in her sing-song voice. Her eyes started to light up. "Oh, did you cast a spell on him? Because I've never seen Squall look like that EVER. He couldn't keep his HAND off you! And I could almost see a normal human emotion on his face! Tee hee."
"I did not cast a spell on him! How is that even possible?"
"I bet if you mix up a confuse, a berserk, and a zombie spell in the exact right combination, you could make some kind of powerful love-potion spell. Can sorceresses mix magic? If they can, you could do all kinds of fun stuff. Let's test it out on Irvine and Squall!"
Selphie started to mimic Rinoa's voice and mannerisms, "You're going to like me! You're going to like me! Did it work? Tee hee! I think it did work because you briefly lost your mind and jumped into space for me!"
Selphie then started to mimic Squall's deep soft-spoken voice, "Baby, I love you. Let's die together!"
"Squall, I'm a sorceress, you have to do exactly what I say, and I say we gotta cuddle. Yes we DO! Yes we DO!" Selphie sang in a falsetto girlish squeal while putting her hands on her hips.
She reached out and grabbed Rinoa in an exaggerated manly way to give her a big cuddly grumpy bear hug. Rinoa's face was red with embarrassment, and she shoved Selphie roughly off her.
"Selphie! SHUT UP! I didn't tell you all those things so you could make fun of me! Don't tell Squall any of that... or I'll... or I'll... test out some of my sorceress powers on YOU!"
I don't really know what my sorceress powers can do, but she doesn't know that. If I could force Squall to do stuff, our relationship would be different. Actually that sounds more creepy than fun. I don't want a zombie.
Selphie's smiling face sobered a little bit on hearing Rinoa's threat. She gulped nervously.
"What Selphie? We were just having lunch out here. I don't have magical love powers. And what were you doing in the BUSHES?"
"Oh, I was just... you know... hanging out... on my lunch break," Selphie said while looking down at her brown boots and trying to smooth out her wrinkled yellow dress. She began to pluck some twigs and leaves out of her boots.
Rinoa thought Selphie was acting weirdly. She heard some rustling in the bushes beside her, and a lanky figure emerged. Irvine approached casually as if nothing were out of the ordinary. His normally well-groomed auburn hair had some twigs and leaves in it.
Eeeeew, was he here the whole time too?! Wait, were they making out in the bushes on their lunch break?!
"Hello Rinoa darlin'," Irvine drawled while sauntering towards them, and taking a seat on the bench in between Selphie and Rinoa. He slung his big heavy arms over their shoulders and raised an eyebrow at Rinoa suggestively. "What a beautifully gorgeous day, the birds are chirping, the bees are buzzing... love is in the air... turning even the most ice cold of hearts to thoughts of..."
"Irvine! Shut up!" Rinoa poked him in the ribs in anger.
"Irvy!" Selphie poked him in the ribs harder, but just for the fun of it.
Irvine made a playfully exaggerated frowning face at the both of them while putting his arms up in the air to show he was surrendering.
"Okay, well I guess I'll see you lovely ladies later then." He continued to smile while getting up. A leaf fluttered out of his cowboy hat as he tipped it towards them in a dramatic farewell. Their eyes stayed on him as he slowly walked away and back towards the main hub of Balamb Garden.
"So I guess you overheard everything Squall and I were talking about during our lunch? Truth be told I'm a little nervous about exploring my powers. Squall hasn't given you an idea as to what he means by training did he? If he did you probably can't even talk to me about it..."
Selphie had only half listened to Rinoa as she had thoughts of party-planning in her head. She turned the subject back onto Squall and Rinoa's relationship.
"Do you think he's going to ask you to the Garden Social? It's coming up really soon." Selphie was musing.
"Selph, that's more than a month away. I don't think even Squall plans that far in advance. And it has the word 'social' in it, so that doesn't really seem like something he'd like."
"Rinoa, he's got to go to the Garden Social, he's the Commander of Balamb Garden! Plus I made sure that he signed it in the contract."
"What contract? What are you talking about?"
"I just slipped a little clause into one of the requisition forms he had to sign. No problem at all! Actually all instructors and staff have to attend."
"Selphie! You're a sneaky genius!"
"Oh Rinoa, it'll be great. Remember to thank me later for your wonderful evening. The music, the gowns, the uniforms... you and him... on a breezy starlit balcony..." Selphie began making kissy noises.
"Selphie, I don't even know what to say to you right now," Rinoa said while reflexively brushing off her upper arms. Blushing at the thought of Squall kissing her, not just because the world had been saved, or he had too much celebratory champagne, or because he under a sorceress's spell, but because he truly wanted to kiss her.
"I think I'm going to change the subject completely. Do you think you could help me learn to bake? I'm really awful, but I'd like to try."
"Woo hoo! SUGAR! Of course I'll help you Rinoa! We can make a big cake. There's this recipe that I've wanted to try. It's a three layer lemon cake with butter cream frosting." Selphie bounced in her seat while waiting for Rinoa to give her the details of what she'd like to make. Selphie wasn't a master chef by any means, but she could bake a wide variety of sweets.
"Um, maybe we could begin by making something easier. I was thinking some type of cookie."
"What type do you want to make? I can easily do chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin, lemon cookies, gingersnaps, molasses cookies..." Selphie was showing no signs of stopping.
Rinoa was stunned by how many cookies varieties that Selphie knew how to make, but she knew what type of cookie she wanted to make, so she politely interrupted her friend.
"How about some soft and gooey chocolate chips cookies," Rinoa said remembering what the Orphanage Gang had said a lunch the other day.
"Sounds Delicious!" Selphie squeaked and Rinoa breathed a sigh of relief as Selphie forgot about teasing her about Squall.
End of Chapter 7
Please read and review. :)
Thanks for all the nice reviews! I really appreciate them!
(My husband wanted me to add that he helps write a lot of this. We have a lot of silly fun doing this together.)
