A/N: I might or might not have stolen a few scenes from the movie and adapted them into my fic...
I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO COMPLY
June, 5, 2007
Tiffany and I fall into a routine. The first couple of weeks we wake up around 6:30am, get changed into running clothes and run for our usual five miles. The new neighborhood where we live is great, actually. Everything is really safe so I don't panic that some bad men will beat me senseless again. Besides, Tiffany tells me that she'll protect me if that ever happens, and even though I know I am stronger than her because I am a man, I believe her. When we finish running, I go downstairs to the basement and do some weight-lifting. Our new basement is smaller than the one my parents have, which is why I don't have as many apparatuses as I did before, but nevertheless I like it because it allows me to keep fit. I should mention I don't do as much work out time as I used to, because now that I have lost all my extra weight I don't need it, and I like to spend the rest of the day with Tiffany. So I just do around twenty minutes or so, and then go back upstairs to have breakfast, which Tiffany normally cooks. We spend the rest of the day watching TV, laying around, playing Parcheesi, or having sex if she's in one of her crazy moods. Sometimes, we'll go out on the little backyard we have, plug in some music and just dance. She loves it because she says she doesn't want to lose the special dance connection we have, and I agree.
After two weeks, I start my new job as a history high-school teacher. The school is a couple of miles away from our house, and since we don't have a car it means I have to walk, but I don't mind it because it gives me the chance to do some work out on the way there. And a week after that, Tiffany is finally given an opportunity to work as a dance instructor with the small dancing studio near our house. Every night we sleep on the bed together, like an old married couple, and every morning I am always the first one to wake up. I should also mention that our sex life is pretty great. Tiffany is on the pill which allows us to have sex every other night without worrying about protection, and because we have such hectic nights we usually end up falling asleep on each other's arms, which I love. In the mornings, I get out of bed, take a shower and get dressed. When I come out, I find Tiffany already in the kitchen, making breakfast. She usually never finishes by time I am done, so no matter what she's making, I take over from her and finish cooking breakfast, unless she decides we'll have cereals that day, which I don't mind. When I take over, it is her turn to go away and have a shower, or simply get dressed. She is always back when I am finishing breakfast, so we lay the table and eat. I like this because it resembles the relay races I used to watch as kid, and it feels great to be part of a team with Tiffany because I never used to be a part of a team with Nikki, and I think this is a good thing. After that, we say our goodbyes and leave for work. I like my new job and my new school. The kids are nicer than in the last one and all my co-workers are very polite and understanding towards me. There is this woman though, her name is Wendy and she must be a couple of years younger than me, but she is always extra nice to me. It makes me think that she wants to have some kind of affair with me, but I know that will never happen because if she ever tries anything I will just tell her that I am in a very serious relationship with a woman I love. Ever since Nikki cheated on me I have learnt what it's like to be hurt, and I don't ever want to hurt Tiffany so I am working hard to make sure I value our relationship together, because I don't want to blow my chance with her like I did with Nikki either.
Every Sunday, Tiffany and I take the train back to Collingswood to visit our parents. Mostly we go back to my parent's place because Mom always cooks something for us, like her famous crabby-snacks or something of the kind. Ronnie, Veronica and little Emily sometimes join us, and we have a nice family dinner. Even Dad joins us for those, which is a huge improvement in our relationship, let me tell you. I know it has to do a lot with the new football season –because the Eagles have been winning a lot- but nevertheless it feels nice to finally have Dad be a part of our family again. When we are not visiting my parents on a Sunday, we stop by Ronnie and Veronica's place and spend the day there, or we visit Tiffany's parents. My relationship with her parents started out with some tensions, but now we are okay. They really like that I can make their daughter happy, and I tell them I am more than happy to comply.
On the 28th of May we get a phone call to our house, which is pretty strange since nobody usually calls us that much. I offer to pick up the phone, but Tiffany says she's "got it".
I go over to the living room, where she is, and overhear her part of the conversation, although I don't think you can call it "overhearing" if the other person knows you're there.
"Hey V," I hear her exclaim, and that's how I know that the person calling is her sister, because Tiffany usually calls her 'V' although I don't understand why if her full name is 'Veronica'.
I sit down on the brown couch and listen to the conversation.
"Yeah… Emily? Yeah… Uhm let me think, the 5th? … Sure… yeah sure I'll ask him… Yeah I know don't worry, I'm sure we can pull off something… Sure. Okay bye… bye."
"Was that Veronica?" I ask when she is done, even though I already know the answer.
"Yeah," she says, "She called to invite us over to Emily's second birthday, the 5th of June."
For a moment I am taken aback because I cannot believe little Emily is growing up so fast, even though she's still only two years old.
"She's turning two?" I ask, in amazement.
"Yeah"
"She's grown so fast!" I exclaim.
"Of course she has. Babies don't stay little forever, Pat. Thank God we don't have to deal with that" She says.
Somehow, this bothers me a bit because I love little Emily, but also because she said 'Thank God' implying she doesn't like children. I don't know if like children myself, but I do know that I would at least like the idea of having a little daughter like Emily, and knowing that perhaps Tiffany doesn't share my idea saddens me.
"So, do we have something planned for the 5th or what?" She asks.
"You sound as if you don't want to go" I say.
"Of course I don't want to go, the house will probably be filled with children and I've already got enough of that in the dance studio. Plus Veronica will make such a huge deal of Emily turning two, like always, and it means I'll have to watch my behavior and the way I talk and I fucking hate it when someone restrains me." She puts her hand on her hip, which tells me she's annoyed that I asked that, but to be honest with you I thought she adored little Emily too, so I wasn't expecting this. "But anyway" she continues, "It's a family event and my parents will probably reprimand me if I don't show up so not going is not an option. Plus your parents have been invited as well, which means you have to be there too. So, are you going check the calendar in the kitchen or do I have to do everything myself?"
I check the calendar and see that the 5th of June is a Saturday and that we are indeed free, so in the weeks following up to the event we spend our afternoons looking at possible presents that we can give to a two-year-old. Tiffany says we also have to get something for Ronnie and Veronica, but I disagree with her because the party is meant for Emily and not for them. Tiffany insists though, and she tells me how her sister is so very egotistical and will probably be expecting a present for all the effort she will put into the party, so in the end I relent and we end up buying three presents: one for Ronnie and Veronica and two for Emily.
Finally the day comes, so we leave the house mid-morning because the party is meant to start at 3pm. I let Tiffany dress me, and I end up wearing a smart black suit, minus a tie because Tiffany couldn't agree on any that looked good on me. She is wearing a short black dress with a light jacket, and her legs are tight-less, which I love because over the past few months I have learnt to adore Tiffany's perfect legs. When we get there –to Ronnie and Veronica's house- her sister opens the door and greets us with a big hug each.
"I am so glad you could make it!" she says, even though we called several times to let them know that we were coming.
"Hi V" Tiffany says.
"Hi Veronica," I say, and then I pull out the orchid that we bought for them. "This is for you"
"That is lovely! An orchid? Wherever did you find it! We have been looking for one to put on top of the fireplace for ages!"
"Just around" Tiffany mumbles.
"Well thank you so much!" Veronica says, and gestures us inside. "Just you wait until I show Ronnie"
Inside I see that–contrary to what Tiffany had said—, the house is not full of little children running around.
"We'll celebrate another one next week, with all her friends, but we're keeping this one more like a family reunion." Veronica tells us.
According to Tiffany, Emily's friends are simply Veronica's friends who have kids, not Emily's friends. I know this because I once I asked Tiffany how was it possible for a one-year-old to make friends, and she explained to me how Veronica is the one to force Emily to socialize with some of her friends' babies.
In the living room, I see Ronnie with little Emily, Tiffany and Veronica's parents and my Mom. All of them exclaim "Hello Pat!" when they see me, but my mom is the only one to stand up and give me a big hug. Veronica shows Ronnie what we got them and in the meantime I see that Emily is dressed like a princess. She is wearing a pink sparkly dress with white tights and a tiara on her head, and she looks s cute that I can't help it when I go over to her, kiss her head and say "Happy birthday Emily!"
Emily is so happy to see me that she screams, "Pap!" and lifts her arms towards me, which I guess means she wants me to lift her up so in the end I am spinning around the room with her. I don't go on for too long, though, because as much as I love to make Emily shriek and laugh, I know Veronica doesn't like it so I put Emily down after a couple of spins. But this somehow also makes me sad, because I wish that Emily was mine and that I could spin her around the room as many times as I wanted without having to worry about her parents.
Then Tiffany, who has been watching all of the action from the door frame, comes inside the room and gives little Emily her present.
"Hey princess" she says, kneeling down to give her a hug kiss on the cheek. "Look at what we got you!"
The way Tiffany talks to Emily makes me fall in love with her even more, because she uses her really soft and really loving tone which she normally avoids and when I see them both together my heart grows bigger with love for Tiffany. It all looks really normal, like she is meant to be around children, or at least around Emily, and I make a point to let her know later.
Tiffany hands both presents to Emily and as soon as they are in her hands, Emily starts to rip off the wrapping paper for both of them. The presents are a giraffe soft toy and a kids' puzzle. I only wanted to get the soft toy, but Tiffany said Veronica wouldn't like it if we only gave her the soft toy because she wants Emily to be a smart child and puzzles help in the development of children, so that's why we ended up buying two things instead of one. However, it looks like Emily doesn't mind, because she first opens the soft toy and then doesn't stop until she has opened the puzzle too, as if the thing that she was more excited about was the opening of the presents and not the presents themselves. We all laugh at this, because Emily doesn't appreciate the actual presents as much, but then Ronnie hands me a beer and we all become engaged on a conversation, sort of forgetting about Emily's reaction.
Tiffany's parents talk to Tiffany and I about how things are going, my Mom talks about the excitement of summer and Ronnie and I end up talking about the football season whilst Veronica fuzzes over Emily and tries to maintain a conversation with Tiffany. I notice Tiffany doesn't say much during the whole time, but that doesn't worry me because she had warned me that she didn't like big family situations and would most likely be quiet throughout most of it.
After a couple of hours Emily grows impatient so we bring the cake out, which has lots of small candles making out a big "2", and sing "Happy birthday" to her. We watch as she attempts to blow out the candles, but she misses out more than half, because her breath is so weak, so Tiffany, who is standing next to her, helps her to blow the rest. This again makes me think that Tiffany is always very mindful towards Emily and about how great it would be if Emily was our child, instead of Ronnie and Veronica's.
We all get a piece of the cake –which has a princess on it, in keeping with the theme of the party—, and after a few more beers Veronica says little Emily has to start getting ready for bed. Tiffany, my Mom and I take this as our cue to leave, so we all stand up and say our goodbyes. To my surprise, Mom doesn't get emotional this time; on the contrary, she is beaming with happiness and her face looks radiant, almost shiny, which makes me think things really have improved this year and about how glad I am that everything is finally working out.
On the porch outside, Mom asks "Would you like me to drive you home?" but Tiffany and I decline, knowing that my dad is probably already missing her back home.
"Okay" she says, and then grins. "I am so glad we were able to do this. Are you sure things are alright back home?" she insists.
"Yeah" Tiffany says.
"Yes, Mom" I say, trying to make it sound as if it annoys me that she has to ask, even though it does not because I love the fact that my Mom worries so much about me.
"Well then, I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks, right? You two take care." She embraces Tiffany, and I hear as she says "God bless you, Tiffany"
She then pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek, before walking off and getting into the car.
Back at home, the first thing Tiffany and I do is go directly upstairs and get changed out of our clothes. I get changed mostly out of solidarity for Tiffany, so that she doesn't have to change alone, because she says she hates bras and the first thing she always does is to get them off as soon as possible. However, I also like my suit and I think that I better take it off before I ruin it somehow with dinner or something. Once we're both in a more comfortable wear –some sweat pants and loose t-shirts- we go downstairs and get started on dinner. At Ronnie and Veronica's place we already had some snacks and appetizers but none of that was substantial enough to pass as dinner, so we settle on having something light. When dinner's ready, we lay the table and that's when I mention the events of today to Tiffany.
"Emily looked really pretty today," I say.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I guess she did" She replies half-absently because she is more focused on the food than on anything else.
"Do you think she liked the presents we gave to her?" I press on, trying to make some conversation.
"How should I know? I have no idea how the minds of babies work, Pat." This comment irritates me a bit because it once again shows that she is not too keen on children, but you only had to look at her with Emily to know that she is great around them.
So I try to tell her exactly this. "You were really gentle with Emily" I say.
"Well, I kinda had to be, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is that you have gotten very good at being with children, especially Emily, because I remember last year you couldn't even stand her and now you do and it looks really lovely, almost as if it was meant to be, you know?"
At this she stops eating and looks up from her plate.
"Pat, what are you trying to say?" Her voice is like cutting-steel, and that's how I know I am walking on thin ice, so I just say "nothing" in an attempt to drop the subject before things get worse.
"Pat, what the fuck are you trying to say?" She presses on, and stares at me hard. In the end, even though I do not want to upset her even more, I decide to tell her how I feel because I know Tiffany values honesty more than anything, and she won't be happy if she thinks I am holding something back from her.
"Nothing, I just…" I sigh. " Just that you're always so good with Emily and every time you two are together you get this look, so full of love and happiness, almost as if you were meant to be with her, and tonight it got me thinking because it would have been nice if Emily was ours and not Ronnie and Veronica's"
Tiffany is silent now, her mind evidently slowly understanding what I am getting at.
"Huh…?"
"And you know," I continue, before she shuts me down. "I never told you this before but, back when I was living my old movie, I used to watch Emily and fantasize about having a little daughter with Nikki because I just think baby girls are really cute. And tonight when I saw you with Emily I thought about how great it would be if we had children ourselves, because then I would get to love them and you would always be happy and I would be too…"
"Are you serious?" She puts her fork down and looks at me intensely "Are you fucking serious?"
"Tiffany—" I start, but never get around finishing because she cuts me off.
"No! Oh my god… Pat, oh god…" She bows her head so that she's not looking at me anymore. Since I know Tiffany really well now, I know this means she's angry at me so I try to apologize.
"Tiffany—"
"What the fuck is this, Pat!? Are you telling me all of this was a lie?!"
"Tiffany I didn't say that…"
"Are you telling me that the only reason we're together is because you want to use me as your leeway for having a fucking child!?"
"Tiffany…"
"No! There is no way I am having this." She stands up and grabs her plate, which is still half-full. "What am I to you, just some fucking vessel that you use and then throw away? Is this why you decided to give me, to give us, a chance?! So you could fantasize that our children would be Nikki's!?"
"No, Tiffany I don't want that, I'm sorry I said that, I didn't mean it, I was just-"
"Fuck you Pat!" She throws the plate against the kitchen wall and it breaks into four triangular pieces, one of which bounces off the wall and ends up at my feet. The food –half a chicken fillet with some salad- falls on the kitchen counter, making a mess everywhere.
The crash takes me so much by surprise that for two seconds I can't move. Tiffany, on the other hand, starts to run towards the entrance door. Suddenly I know exactly what she is going to do, and I don't like it.
"Tiffany!" I stand up from the table and start shouting her name. "Tiffany stop, I'm sorry!"
I run all the way to the entrance but I'm too late, because I see her grab a blue jacket, open the door and close it on my face. When I open the door, Tiffany already has a head start on me. I shout out her name several times, but she doesn't turn back. I could easily catch up with her because I am a man and run faster than her, yes, but I don't because I know that when Tiffany is angry she just needs some space and I need to give her that.
So instead I go back inside the house and clean up the kitchen mess, hoping that she will come back soon and I can apologize for suggesting such a stupid idea in the first place.
