Chapter 7 "I'm not very mechanical, but it seems like we're starting to move."
Vincent watched Cid carefully during breakfast. He seemed oblivious to the events of the night before. Somehow, Vincent had suspected as much, though he somehow wished it wasn't the case. He wanted to confront Cid, ask him what had happened, though what he wanted to hear he wasn't sure. On one hand, he felt that if he was reassured that Cid was just drunk and hadn't know what he was doing, at least his confusion would be put to rest. On the other hand… Vincent clamped his eyes shut as Cid left the room, mentally screaming. Vincent felt left behind, and horribly confused. Part of him desperately wanted it to not have been the fluke it obviously was. Vincent felt like crying again, but punched the feeling off, swallowing it harshly. He had the sudden urge to go back down into his coffin and never come out again. …but then Cid would have no one to take care of him…Vincent winced. Not only was he bent on 'taking care' of Cid now, he had the dark feeling that he wouldn't be getting the man out of his mind at all.
Cid had gone to hide in his room, pulling out a book, and lounging in one of the chairs in the little room. After a while, he got stiff in the wooden chair, though, and glancing at his bed and deciding he was sick of it, he wandered down stairs into the living room. The room was darkish except for the single yellow lamp by which he read by, but he was able to stretch out on the couch comfortably. Despite his heavy heart, he was feeling better. He was merely worried that he would slip up again, and further injure Vincent emotionally. It was obvious he had, and his heart ached for the man. He looked up as he heard footsteps, Vincent wandering into the room. Vincent looked up, saw Cid sitting there sprawled lazily on the couch, watching him, and froze mid-step. Cid watched him carefully, breath bated. Vincent's eyes were glassy and more to his eyes than just his crimson irises were red. A wave of guilt hit Cid.
"Heya, Vin. Watcha doin?" He asked, forcing himself to sound casual. Vincent looked away sharply, turning his entire body away from Cid where he stood.
"Nothing. Sorry to bother you…" He said so quietly Cid had to strain his ears to make out the words.
"What's wrong…?" Oh, did Cid know better than to ask that question of doom. But somehow, the words flew out of his mouth on their own, completely betraying him. It was all he could do not to clamp his hands over his mouth expressing his mistake. That would have been even stupider.
"Was just thinking…" Vincent began.
"About that chick, Lucrecia?" Cid suggested. Vincent nodded weakly. No, that wasn't right, but it was a safe lie.
"Yeah…" Cid got lost in the moment.
"Shit, you gotta quit that, Vin! You're going to hurt yourself if you can't get over some ancient loss!" You're the one that's hurting him, you stupid shit!His mind accused. Cid didn't hear it. "Live a little, find new love! There's women everywhere that just drool over you! I saw them in the restaurant last night! Its incredible! I thought there was going to be a flood or something the way those girls were drooling when you walked by!" He didn't see Vincent's face screwing up with pain. "I bet any one of those girls would let you take her home without even knowing your name!" Vincent turned back around to face Cid. He was trembling all over.
"Maybe I don't want any of 'those girls'!" he said trying not to give into his rising anger. Cid blinked.
"Well, why the hell not?!"
"Do /you/ want any of them?"
"No."
"Well, why not for you, /HIGHWIND/?!" Vincent demanded eyes misting up. His voice was shaking. Cid blinked.
"Shit! That doesn't matter. We're talking about you, Vince!" He said, standing up. Vincent turned and started to walk away, but Cid followed. "C'mon, Vin! I just want you to be happy!" He called after giving chase halfway across the house. Vincent was at his bedroom door, hand on the doorknob. He froze there, turning back on Cid. The doorknob rattled lightly from his shaking hand.
"Its all about me, huh?" Vincent began, starting to cry in earnest despite his best efforts. He wanted nothing more than to just get away from Cid, to hide and be safe. "You want me to be happy?" He accused, voice cracking harshly. "Then quit fucking with my mind, Highwind!" He snapped voice rising in pitch to fight his urge to yell. He swung the door open, and started in.
"What do you mean?!" Cid cried, alarmed. Now you've done it… so stupid…Vincent turned.
"You tell me!" He said, voice finally rising. "YOU'RE the one that kissed me! NOT the other way around, Cid!" Cid froze, eyes wide in shock. He hadn't realized that it had effected Vincent that deeply. Vincent took the moment to dash into his room, and slam the door shut.
"Wait!" Cid could hear it lock. Cid swore under his breath. "Vince!" He called to Vincent. "Vincent!" Cid's voice started to strain as he grew more upset. C'mon… please…"Let me explain!" Explain what, dickhead?! You pretended it never happened!Cid pounded on the door, leaning into it. "Vincent! Please!" He begged, but to no avail. He could hear Vincent crying softly inside. It broke his heart. You broke his heart…Finally giving up, Cid left, but not for long. He came back a few minutes later with a small handful of tools. He knocked again. "Vince?"
"Go away, Highwind!" Came his answer.
"Let me in, please? We need to talk!"
"Go AWAY!" Cid grunted. He peered at the lock setup on the doorknob. Easy enough…He selected a tool from his handful, leaving the others against the hall wall. He began to pick the lock. Almost there…C'mon, damnit…please…. THERE!The lock clicked softly and Cid cast away the small tool, and carefully opened the door. There was another clicking sound, heavier than the lock. Cid looked up and found him staring down the barrel of the Death Penalty. He ignored it. "Get out." Vincent said darkly. Cid locked eyes with him, still moving forward slowly.
"You wouldn't kill me, Vincent. You're too good for that…." Cid said softly. "And even if you did, I probably deserve it and shit, I don't have a lot to loose, Vin." He said. He was within arm's reach of the end of the giant rifle. It shook in Vincent's grip.
"Cid, stop." Vincent said.
"I can't…"
"Stop!" Vincent cried.
"NO!" Cid brought his hand up to lower the gun, and Vincent fired.
The loud bang nearly deafened both of them. Cid froze. He'd been lucky. The huge double shot had barely grazed his left shoulder rather than putting a hole the size of a football through him. Still, blood rushed from the wound, soaking his shirt. Vincent dropped the gun with a loud clatter. Cid just stood still, fingers red from touching the wound with his good hand, not even really feeling the pain. He wiped his hand off and turned back to a now horrified looking Vincent.
"I know you didn't mean that, so don't worry." Cid said softly. He had the uneasy feeling that in a few minutes he'd pass out from blood loss, but he still had some time. Vincent made a move towards Cid, looking panicked. Cid stopped him. "It can wait, Vin. Look, yeah: I know, I kissed ya. I remember it as clear as day, and I'm sorry I hurt you… If I'd thought it would have hurt you so much, I wouldn't have made you sit and dwell on it like it seems you have… But shit, I didn't know, until now, and…." He sighed. "I was scared Vincent. I couldn't 'a stopped myself last night. I barely knew I was doing it… And I was scared of what…" He shook his head, trying to both clear his mind enough to think and to get rid of the white sparks that were beginning to cloud his vision. It didn't work. The sparks increased in number, and his ears began to ring. Cid sank to his knees weakly. "Shit…" He murmured. "Sorry, Vin… we'll talk…later…" He sunk to the floor, head swimming, and gave up his fight, his world going black.
"CID!!" Vincent felt panic setting in as Cid slumped at his feet heaving a soft sigh as shock set in. He stared down at the prone figure for a few heartbeats. Cid had landed right by the Death Penalty, almost touching it, so that the barrel pointed right into his head like some bizarre suicide scene. Vincent quickly swept the gun off the floor, set the safety on it and tossed it into a corner. He scooped Cid up next, resting him on his bed and quickly bandaging his arm from a medical kit he kept under his bed. He was left again staring at his friend lying unconscious. Cid's words circled in his head. 'Yeah… I know I kissed ya. I remember it as clear as day… …I couldn't 'a stopped myself…'Vincent sank against the wall, hiding his face in between his knees. He didn't know what was going on at all. 'I was scared, Vincent…' You're scared?He thought, almost bitterly. Think how I feel…
Cid groaned, making Vincent jump. Apparently, he was finally coming to.
"Ungh…Shiiitt…." Yes, Cid was waking up. Vincent climbed to his feet, and hurried to where Cid lay, just opening his eyes. He looked horribly pale and weak. A cold sweat rested on his forehead. He tilted his head to look up as Vincent reached his side. "Hey, Vin. Sorry about the mess…" He said softly. Vincent simply shook his head.
"That's nothing, Highwind. Here," He lifted Cid's wrist which hung limply in his hand. He checked his pulse, and set Cid's arm back down -it was trembling lightly- and peered into Cid's eyes. Wiping some of the cold sweat away from Cid's face before he straightened up, Vincent gave Cid a stern look. "Don't move, Highwind. I'll be right back with something to make you feel better." Cid nodded obediently and watched him go.
Vincent returned in bare minutes with a glass of what looked like cloudy water. Cid frowned.
"Drink this." Vincent said, helping Cid to sit up, then handing him the glass.
"What is it?" He asked, eyeing it suspiciously. Vincent sighed.
"Salt and sugar in warm water. I know its nasty but it'll help make up for the blood you lost. Drink it." He added firmly. Cid shrugged and slammed the entire glass in one gulp. He made a face.
"That… was bizarre. I almost liked it…" Vincent rolled his eyes, taking the glass away.
"Rest for a few minutes." He said. "I'll be back in ten or fifteen minutes, at which time you will be explaining /everything/." Cid felt a flutter of fear pass through him, but he nodded.
"Alright. You don't deserve to be left in the dark any longer…" Vincent accepted this and left.
Cid sat alone, thinking. He felt he should plan out every word he said to Vincent, but he couldn't bear to think of what would happen. Besides, maybe it was the blood loss, maybe it was just because he was a complete idiot, but Cid couldn't think of a thing that wouldn't end in Vincent taking the Death Penalty and shoving it down his throat and pulling the trigger. That wouldn't be so bad…With the way I've fucked things up, I'll be lucky for that…He groaned, rubbing his eyes and crawling out of bed. The shakes had gone away and he didn't feel so weak. Whatever Vincent had given him had worked. Shit…nice of the guy to take care of me still….He perched himself on the edge of the bed, examining his arm. It had been properly bandaged and cleaned. He sighed, feeling all the more guilty. Sitting back, he waited, feeling as if he were just waiting for an execution. There was a knock, and Cid looked up as Vincent walked in slowly. He looked scared.
"You're looking better…" Vincent observed. Cid nodded.
"Feel better. Haven't passed out like that in a long time. Sorry." Vincent shrugged.
"I'm not so upset about you passing out on me as your previous actions…" He said softly. Cid grimaced. "Start at the beginning, Highwind." Cid heaved a sigh.
"You probably wanna know why I left Rocket Town too?" He began Vincent nodded. "Well, as with most things, its all tied together, I guess…" He took a deep breath. "Shit… Vin, I told the guys back home I was dating Shera because they accused me of not even being interested in women. It was just an idle comment, but I freaked out and opened by big fat mouth…because…they had hit the nail right on the fucking head…." He wanted to look up, to see Vincent's reaction, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Vincent remained quiet. "No one could know… no one ever had, and I left before I could even assess the damage. Its better that way. They'll forget me eventually…" He glanced up for a moment pausing, searching Vincent's face to see if he was figuring it out for himself. From the way Vincent was watching him, he guessed he was. "About last night…." Cid went on. He could feel himself trembling badly. He looked away. "Vincent…I…. I…" He broke off. His face said it clear enough, and he knew Vincent knew now, but he couldn't go on. He couldn't say it, couldn't admit his darkest secret. He turned away. "I can't do this…" He whispered, choking. "I'm so sorry, Vince…" He didn't look back. Cloudn't bare. He heard Vincent move, and swore it would be to go and get his gun, but he wasn't shot. Vincent came up right behind him, resting his hand tentatively on the center of Cid's back, making it tingle all up and down his spine. Cid turned slowly to look up into Vincent's suddenly intense eyes.
"Cid.." He began, eyes boring into Cid's. "Just say it." Cid swallowed hard.
"I'm scared, Vince…" He choked again. Vincent sat next to him carefully.
"I know you're a brave man, Cid." He said softly. Cid swallowed, and looked right up into Vincent's eyes. His heart stopped, breath catching.
"I told myself a long time ago I wouldn't fall in love, Vince, but I guess its just something else I fucked up…" He smiled weakly. "I love you. I just can't help it: You've stolen my heart, Vincent." Cid swallowed, wanting so badly to look away. He didn't do it, though. He knew it was imperative that he keep face with Vincent. Vincent was gazing at him wide eyed, stunned. He looked scared. Cid closed his eyes against Vincent's gaze. "I'm not asking for anything, Vince… I know you go for women, and I'm sure you still love Lucrecia…" He said softly. Vincent squeezed his good arm a little, drawing his attention.
"Highwind…" Cid looked back up, opening his eyes. Vincent's face was very close to his. Cid swallowed the lump in his throat. "Kiss me." Cid's heart did a double back flip and dove with a splash into his stomach.
"What?" His heart was hammering (maybe because it was drowning?), breath coming shallow.
"Kiss me. You never know unless you try, right?" Was this some sort of sick joke? Revenge? He could feel Vincent's breath on his face, though, and couldn't think on that enough not to give in. Cid raised a shaking hand to lightly caress Vincent's face, pulling him forward with the touch. "Be gentle…" Vincent whispered breathily, and Cid nodded, and felt Vincent relax, give into his guidance. Their lips brushed, feather light briefly, pause, then close around each other. Vincent's lips trembled under his, and Cid felt the urge to just consume Vincent alive then and there, but he held back, Vincent's plea ringing in his ears sharply. Instead, he hugged Vincent fiercely, wrapping his arms around the slim man's shoulders, in a truly gratifying embrace, filled with warmth. Vincent melted, leaning into the kiss, and Cid deepened it carefully, just a little. Vincent gasped a little, but held the kiss a moment longer, savoring the feeling, before finally pulling away breathlessly, breathing deep. His eyes were wide but quickly his expression softened. Cid sank back onto the bed, breathing hard, staring at the ceiling in awe. Vincent reached down, grabbing him by his right wrist, and pulled him back up gently. Cid let him, coming up to rest his head lightly against Vincent's chest.
"Was that real…?" He asked softly. He felt Vincent chuckle silently.
"I think so." He whispered.
"…So what does this mean?" Cid asked worriedly. Just because Vincent had allowed the kiss, didn't mean there was anything between them. He leaned back to look up at Vincent who was standing over him. Vincent looked thoughtful.
"…Nobody has ever told me they loved me before…" He said softly. Cid felt a flare of fury on Vincent's behalf. How could nobody ever tell this beautiful person they loved him?! "…I don't know what I'm feeling right now, Highwind…But I'm willing to see where this takes us." Cid's face lit up like the sunshine, a rather gratifying image for Vincent. Finally, it seemed, he'd broken some of the cloud cover around Cid's mood. He'd never imagined it would happen in this fashion, but it felt good to be loved, and to see Cid so happy not to be instantly turned down. His heart hammered in testimony to his feelings, and he let out a small gasp as Cid stood abruptly, hugging him firmly. Vincent stood stunned for a moment as the slightly shorter man clung to him tightly. It felt good, though a bit awkward. He'd never seen Cid hug anyone, and here he the man couldn't let go of him. Vincent realized that this was a part of himself Cid had been holding back all his life. Vincent returned the embrace gently, resting his chin lightly on Cid's good shoulder, still conscious of the wound he'd caused on the other.
Cid melted as Vincent finally wrapped his arms lightly around him, leaning into his embrace. He let out a shuddering sigh, nuzzling Vincent's shoulder lightly.
"God, Vin…" He whispered. A part of him had died and been reborn in the brief few minutes he'd shared with Vincent, and it left him feeling exhausted but alive, and almost as if he wanted to cry again. Vincent gave him a final squeeze, and pulled back, looking down at Cid.
"Are you alright?" Cid nodded, leaning up to kiss Vincent gently on the chin.
"Yeah. I'm alright. You?" Vincent looked thoughtful.
"Yes. I think I'm O.K." He stepped away, watching Cid thoughtfully. He smiled sweetly. Cid looked worried.
"What?" Vincent laughed. "What??" Cid was too unstable for jokes just now. Vincent calmed his mild laughter, shaking his head.
"You of all people, Highwind…" Cid blushed, ears turning crimson. He glared lightly at Vincent. "No, not that." Vincent assured him, opening his mouth to go on, and pausing to subdue the hot flush going through his face. "…I just would have never guessed you were so tender…" He said finally, very soft. Cid smiled.
"Only for you, Vin."
Vincent watched Cid carefully during breakfast. He seemed oblivious to the events of the night before. Somehow, Vincent had suspected as much, though he somehow wished it wasn't the case. He wanted to confront Cid, ask him what had happened, though what he wanted to hear he wasn't sure. On one hand, he felt that if he was reassured that Cid was just drunk and hadn't know what he was doing, at least his confusion would be put to rest. On the other hand… Vincent clamped his eyes shut as Cid left the room, mentally screaming. Vincent felt left behind, and horribly confused. Part of him desperately wanted it to not have been the fluke it obviously was. Vincent felt like crying again, but punched the feeling off, swallowing it harshly. He had the sudden urge to go back down into his coffin and never come out again. …but then Cid would have no one to take care of him…Vincent winced. Not only was he bent on 'taking care' of Cid now, he had the dark feeling that he wouldn't be getting the man out of his mind at all.
Cid had gone to hide in his room, pulling out a book, and lounging in one of the chairs in the little room. After a while, he got stiff in the wooden chair, though, and glancing at his bed and deciding he was sick of it, he wandered down stairs into the living room. The room was darkish except for the single yellow lamp by which he read by, but he was able to stretch out on the couch comfortably. Despite his heavy heart, he was feeling better. He was merely worried that he would slip up again, and further injure Vincent emotionally. It was obvious he had, and his heart ached for the man. He looked up as he heard footsteps, Vincent wandering into the room. Vincent looked up, saw Cid sitting there sprawled lazily on the couch, watching him, and froze mid-step. Cid watched him carefully, breath bated. Vincent's eyes were glassy and more to his eyes than just his crimson irises were red. A wave of guilt hit Cid.
"Heya, Vin. Watcha doin?" He asked, forcing himself to sound casual. Vincent looked away sharply, turning his entire body away from Cid where he stood.
"Nothing. Sorry to bother you…" He said so quietly Cid had to strain his ears to make out the words.
"What's wrong…?" Oh, did Cid know better than to ask that question of doom. But somehow, the words flew out of his mouth on their own, completely betraying him. It was all he could do not to clamp his hands over his mouth expressing his mistake. That would have been even stupider.
"Was just thinking…" Vincent began.
"About that chick, Lucrecia?" Cid suggested. Vincent nodded weakly. No, that wasn't right, but it was a safe lie.
"Yeah…" Cid got lost in the moment.
"Shit, you gotta quit that, Vin! You're going to hurt yourself if you can't get over some ancient loss!" You're the one that's hurting him, you stupid shit!His mind accused. Cid didn't hear it. "Live a little, find new love! There's women everywhere that just drool over you! I saw them in the restaurant last night! Its incredible! I thought there was going to be a flood or something the way those girls were drooling when you walked by!" He didn't see Vincent's face screwing up with pain. "I bet any one of those girls would let you take her home without even knowing your name!" Vincent turned back around to face Cid. He was trembling all over.
"Maybe I don't want any of 'those girls'!" he said trying not to give into his rising anger. Cid blinked.
"Well, why the hell not?!"
"Do /you/ want any of them?"
"No."
"Well, why not for you, /HIGHWIND/?!" Vincent demanded eyes misting up. His voice was shaking. Cid blinked.
"Shit! That doesn't matter. We're talking about you, Vince!" He said, standing up. Vincent turned and started to walk away, but Cid followed. "C'mon, Vin! I just want you to be happy!" He called after giving chase halfway across the house. Vincent was at his bedroom door, hand on the doorknob. He froze there, turning back on Cid. The doorknob rattled lightly from his shaking hand.
"Its all about me, huh?" Vincent began, starting to cry in earnest despite his best efforts. He wanted nothing more than to just get away from Cid, to hide and be safe. "You want me to be happy?" He accused, voice cracking harshly. "Then quit fucking with my mind, Highwind!" He snapped voice rising in pitch to fight his urge to yell. He swung the door open, and started in.
"What do you mean?!" Cid cried, alarmed. Now you've done it… so stupid…Vincent turned.
"You tell me!" He said, voice finally rising. "YOU'RE the one that kissed me! NOT the other way around, Cid!" Cid froze, eyes wide in shock. He hadn't realized that it had effected Vincent that deeply. Vincent took the moment to dash into his room, and slam the door shut.
"Wait!" Cid could hear it lock. Cid swore under his breath. "Vince!" He called to Vincent. "Vincent!" Cid's voice started to strain as he grew more upset. C'mon… please…"Let me explain!" Explain what, dickhead?! You pretended it never happened!Cid pounded on the door, leaning into it. "Vincent! Please!" He begged, but to no avail. He could hear Vincent crying softly inside. It broke his heart. You broke his heart…Finally giving up, Cid left, but not for long. He came back a few minutes later with a small handful of tools. He knocked again. "Vince?"
"Go away, Highwind!" Came his answer.
"Let me in, please? We need to talk!"
"Go AWAY!" Cid grunted. He peered at the lock setup on the doorknob. Easy enough…He selected a tool from his handful, leaving the others against the hall wall. He began to pick the lock. Almost there…C'mon, damnit…please…. THERE!The lock clicked softly and Cid cast away the small tool, and carefully opened the door. There was another clicking sound, heavier than the lock. Cid looked up and found him staring down the barrel of the Death Penalty. He ignored it. "Get out." Vincent said darkly. Cid locked eyes with him, still moving forward slowly.
"You wouldn't kill me, Vincent. You're too good for that…." Cid said softly. "And even if you did, I probably deserve it and shit, I don't have a lot to loose, Vin." He said. He was within arm's reach of the end of the giant rifle. It shook in Vincent's grip.
"Cid, stop." Vincent said.
"I can't…"
"Stop!" Vincent cried.
"NO!" Cid brought his hand up to lower the gun, and Vincent fired.
The loud bang nearly deafened both of them. Cid froze. He'd been lucky. The huge double shot had barely grazed his left shoulder rather than putting a hole the size of a football through him. Still, blood rushed from the wound, soaking his shirt. Vincent dropped the gun with a loud clatter. Cid just stood still, fingers red from touching the wound with his good hand, not even really feeling the pain. He wiped his hand off and turned back to a now horrified looking Vincent.
"I know you didn't mean that, so don't worry." Cid said softly. He had the uneasy feeling that in a few minutes he'd pass out from blood loss, but he still had some time. Vincent made a move towards Cid, looking panicked. Cid stopped him. "It can wait, Vin. Look, yeah: I know, I kissed ya. I remember it as clear as day, and I'm sorry I hurt you… If I'd thought it would have hurt you so much, I wouldn't have made you sit and dwell on it like it seems you have… But shit, I didn't know, until now, and…." He sighed. "I was scared Vincent. I couldn't 'a stopped myself last night. I barely knew I was doing it… And I was scared of what…" He shook his head, trying to both clear his mind enough to think and to get rid of the white sparks that were beginning to cloud his vision. It didn't work. The sparks increased in number, and his ears began to ring. Cid sank to his knees weakly. "Shit…" He murmured. "Sorry, Vin… we'll talk…later…" He sunk to the floor, head swimming, and gave up his fight, his world going black.
"CID!!" Vincent felt panic setting in as Cid slumped at his feet heaving a soft sigh as shock set in. He stared down at the prone figure for a few heartbeats. Cid had landed right by the Death Penalty, almost touching it, so that the barrel pointed right into his head like some bizarre suicide scene. Vincent quickly swept the gun off the floor, set the safety on it and tossed it into a corner. He scooped Cid up next, resting him on his bed and quickly bandaging his arm from a medical kit he kept under his bed. He was left again staring at his friend lying unconscious. Cid's words circled in his head. 'Yeah… I know I kissed ya. I remember it as clear as day… …I couldn't 'a stopped myself…'Vincent sank against the wall, hiding his face in between his knees. He didn't know what was going on at all. 'I was scared, Vincent…' You're scared?He thought, almost bitterly. Think how I feel…
Cid groaned, making Vincent jump. Apparently, he was finally coming to.
"Ungh…Shiiitt…." Yes, Cid was waking up. Vincent climbed to his feet, and hurried to where Cid lay, just opening his eyes. He looked horribly pale and weak. A cold sweat rested on his forehead. He tilted his head to look up as Vincent reached his side. "Hey, Vin. Sorry about the mess…" He said softly. Vincent simply shook his head.
"That's nothing, Highwind. Here," He lifted Cid's wrist which hung limply in his hand. He checked his pulse, and set Cid's arm back down -it was trembling lightly- and peered into Cid's eyes. Wiping some of the cold sweat away from Cid's face before he straightened up, Vincent gave Cid a stern look. "Don't move, Highwind. I'll be right back with something to make you feel better." Cid nodded obediently and watched him go.
Vincent returned in bare minutes with a glass of what looked like cloudy water. Cid frowned.
"Drink this." Vincent said, helping Cid to sit up, then handing him the glass.
"What is it?" He asked, eyeing it suspiciously. Vincent sighed.
"Salt and sugar in warm water. I know its nasty but it'll help make up for the blood you lost. Drink it." He added firmly. Cid shrugged and slammed the entire glass in one gulp. He made a face.
"That… was bizarre. I almost liked it…" Vincent rolled his eyes, taking the glass away.
"Rest for a few minutes." He said. "I'll be back in ten or fifteen minutes, at which time you will be explaining /everything/." Cid felt a flutter of fear pass through him, but he nodded.
"Alright. You don't deserve to be left in the dark any longer…" Vincent accepted this and left.
Cid sat alone, thinking. He felt he should plan out every word he said to Vincent, but he couldn't bear to think of what would happen. Besides, maybe it was the blood loss, maybe it was just because he was a complete idiot, but Cid couldn't think of a thing that wouldn't end in Vincent taking the Death Penalty and shoving it down his throat and pulling the trigger. That wouldn't be so bad…With the way I've fucked things up, I'll be lucky for that…He groaned, rubbing his eyes and crawling out of bed. The shakes had gone away and he didn't feel so weak. Whatever Vincent had given him had worked. Shit…nice of the guy to take care of me still….He perched himself on the edge of the bed, examining his arm. It had been properly bandaged and cleaned. He sighed, feeling all the more guilty. Sitting back, he waited, feeling as if he were just waiting for an execution. There was a knock, and Cid looked up as Vincent walked in slowly. He looked scared.
"You're looking better…" Vincent observed. Cid nodded.
"Feel better. Haven't passed out like that in a long time. Sorry." Vincent shrugged.
"I'm not so upset about you passing out on me as your previous actions…" He said softly. Cid grimaced. "Start at the beginning, Highwind." Cid heaved a sigh.
"You probably wanna know why I left Rocket Town too?" He began Vincent nodded. "Well, as with most things, its all tied together, I guess…" He took a deep breath. "Shit… Vin, I told the guys back home I was dating Shera because they accused me of not even being interested in women. It was just an idle comment, but I freaked out and opened by big fat mouth…because…they had hit the nail right on the fucking head…." He wanted to look up, to see Vincent's reaction, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Vincent remained quiet. "No one could know… no one ever had, and I left before I could even assess the damage. Its better that way. They'll forget me eventually…" He glanced up for a moment pausing, searching Vincent's face to see if he was figuring it out for himself. From the way Vincent was watching him, he guessed he was. "About last night…." Cid went on. He could feel himself trembling badly. He looked away. "Vincent…I…. I…" He broke off. His face said it clear enough, and he knew Vincent knew now, but he couldn't go on. He couldn't say it, couldn't admit his darkest secret. He turned away. "I can't do this…" He whispered, choking. "I'm so sorry, Vince…" He didn't look back. Cloudn't bare. He heard Vincent move, and swore it would be to go and get his gun, but he wasn't shot. Vincent came up right behind him, resting his hand tentatively on the center of Cid's back, making it tingle all up and down his spine. Cid turned slowly to look up into Vincent's suddenly intense eyes.
"Cid.." He began, eyes boring into Cid's. "Just say it." Cid swallowed hard.
"I'm scared, Vince…" He choked again. Vincent sat next to him carefully.
"I know you're a brave man, Cid." He said softly. Cid swallowed, and looked right up into Vincent's eyes. His heart stopped, breath catching.
"I told myself a long time ago I wouldn't fall in love, Vince, but I guess its just something else I fucked up…" He smiled weakly. "I love you. I just can't help it: You've stolen my heart, Vincent." Cid swallowed, wanting so badly to look away. He didn't do it, though. He knew it was imperative that he keep face with Vincent. Vincent was gazing at him wide eyed, stunned. He looked scared. Cid closed his eyes against Vincent's gaze. "I'm not asking for anything, Vince… I know you go for women, and I'm sure you still love Lucrecia…" He said softly. Vincent squeezed his good arm a little, drawing his attention.
"Highwind…" Cid looked back up, opening his eyes. Vincent's face was very close to his. Cid swallowed the lump in his throat. "Kiss me." Cid's heart did a double back flip and dove with a splash into his stomach.
"What?" His heart was hammering (maybe because it was drowning?), breath coming shallow.
"Kiss me. You never know unless you try, right?" Was this some sort of sick joke? Revenge? He could feel Vincent's breath on his face, though, and couldn't think on that enough not to give in. Cid raised a shaking hand to lightly caress Vincent's face, pulling him forward with the touch. "Be gentle…" Vincent whispered breathily, and Cid nodded, and felt Vincent relax, give into his guidance. Their lips brushed, feather light briefly, pause, then close around each other. Vincent's lips trembled under his, and Cid felt the urge to just consume Vincent alive then and there, but he held back, Vincent's plea ringing in his ears sharply. Instead, he hugged Vincent fiercely, wrapping his arms around the slim man's shoulders, in a truly gratifying embrace, filled with warmth. Vincent melted, leaning into the kiss, and Cid deepened it carefully, just a little. Vincent gasped a little, but held the kiss a moment longer, savoring the feeling, before finally pulling away breathlessly, breathing deep. His eyes were wide but quickly his expression softened. Cid sank back onto the bed, breathing hard, staring at the ceiling in awe. Vincent reached down, grabbing him by his right wrist, and pulled him back up gently. Cid let him, coming up to rest his head lightly against Vincent's chest.
"Was that real…?" He asked softly. He felt Vincent chuckle silently.
"I think so." He whispered.
"…So what does this mean?" Cid asked worriedly. Just because Vincent had allowed the kiss, didn't mean there was anything between them. He leaned back to look up at Vincent who was standing over him. Vincent looked thoughtful.
"…Nobody has ever told me they loved me before…" He said softly. Cid felt a flare of fury on Vincent's behalf. How could nobody ever tell this beautiful person they loved him?! "…I don't know what I'm feeling right now, Highwind…But I'm willing to see where this takes us." Cid's face lit up like the sunshine, a rather gratifying image for Vincent. Finally, it seemed, he'd broken some of the cloud cover around Cid's mood. He'd never imagined it would happen in this fashion, but it felt good to be loved, and to see Cid so happy not to be instantly turned down. His heart hammered in testimony to his feelings, and he let out a small gasp as Cid stood abruptly, hugging him firmly. Vincent stood stunned for a moment as the slightly shorter man clung to him tightly. It felt good, though a bit awkward. He'd never seen Cid hug anyone, and here he the man couldn't let go of him. Vincent realized that this was a part of himself Cid had been holding back all his life. Vincent returned the embrace gently, resting his chin lightly on Cid's good shoulder, still conscious of the wound he'd caused on the other.
Cid melted as Vincent finally wrapped his arms lightly around him, leaning into his embrace. He let out a shuddering sigh, nuzzling Vincent's shoulder lightly.
"God, Vin…" He whispered. A part of him had died and been reborn in the brief few minutes he'd shared with Vincent, and it left him feeling exhausted but alive, and almost as if he wanted to cry again. Vincent gave him a final squeeze, and pulled back, looking down at Cid.
"Are you alright?" Cid nodded, leaning up to kiss Vincent gently on the chin.
"Yeah. I'm alright. You?" Vincent looked thoughtful.
"Yes. I think I'm O.K." He stepped away, watching Cid thoughtfully. He smiled sweetly. Cid looked worried.
"What?" Vincent laughed. "What??" Cid was too unstable for jokes just now. Vincent calmed his mild laughter, shaking his head.
"You of all people, Highwind…" Cid blushed, ears turning crimson. He glared lightly at Vincent. "No, not that." Vincent assured him, opening his mouth to go on, and pausing to subdue the hot flush going through his face. "…I just would have never guessed you were so tender…" He said finally, very soft. Cid smiled.
"Only for you, Vin."
