Disclaimer: Mine!! All mine!! UWAAHAHAHAHAAAAA… I am talking about this delicious chocolate cake, of course. And that is all.

A/N: Is Iruka a little jealous…? And yeah I know, I know – not the most avant garde of all plots… Hey, I claim to be a perverted, sappily romantic, hermit, alright? I never said I was a creative one… All my creative juices are concentrated in my drawing. I draw like sin. No really. Wanna see? I'll show you ---- o_O

But seriously. Drawing's where I'm at…ya just gotta trust me on this one…

First Kiss

-9. Kakashi's got a Boyfriend-

***

"Have you heard?"

"What?"

"Kakashi has a boyfriend…"

"What??"

"Yeah! I was shocked too!"

"Hatake Kakashi??"

"Yes, yes! I know right??"

"But he's so…distant…"

"Some people like that in a guy, you know?"

Iruka sighed in frustration, trying to ignore the frantic whispering of the women in the corner of the room. This was the new juiciest gossip in town, and it was driving the chuunin insane. He was hearing whispers of this 'new boyfriend' of Kakashi's everywhere. What was so great about the guy anyways?

"Well? Who is it then?"

"I'm not sure. I just heard that he was foreign."

"Sharingan no Kakashi is dating a foreigner??"

"Yeah! It's so romantic!"

"I heard he just looked foreign."

"Whatever it is, I'm dying to know who he is."

"Me too! I'll let you know if I hear anything."

Iruka closed his eyes for a minute, then tried to concentrate on his work. You'd think a jounin would have the common decency to keep his relationships private. And who is this foreigner anyways? Iruka shook his head. I don't care.

***

"Yo. You caught a whiff of this? News is, Hatake's got a boyfriend."

"No way! Kakashi? The copy-nin?"

"That's the guy. Thought he was straight as a senbon. Guess you can't really tell, you know?"

"Who's he bumping uglies with then?"

"No idea. Word on the street is he's a chuunin."

"Looks like ol' Hatake likes a bit of powerplay, eh?"

Iruka scowled into his beer, cursing his luck. He'd tried to escape the annoying gossiping women by going to the manliest bar in the village. Turns out, even manly men gossiped like little girls when it came to Hatake Kakashi and his boy toys.

"Bet he's a fox in bed to have grabbed Hatake's attention huh?"

"Aw, don't go there, man!"

"What? What?? You said that about Asuma's girl last week!"

"Yeah, but…you know…she's a girl…"

"Yeah well, I don't see how it makes any difference."

"Who'd have guessed that Hatake's a queer, though?"

"What, you interested now?"

"Well. You know…he's not a bad guy…"

Iruka downed his beer in three gulps, then buried his face in his palms. Whatever happened to Kakashi being a secretive person…?

***

"Kakashi-san has a boyfriend?"

"Yeah! It's totally gross!

"I think it's kind of sweet…"

"I can't imagine anyone who'd wanna date Kakashi…"

"I would…"

"Mari-chan! You like Kakashi-san??"

"Wellll…no…"

"How would you even kiss him? He's face is always covered!"

"I wouldn't wanna kiss him! That's gross!

"Well that's what you do when you're someone's boyfriend."

"Or girlfriend."

"Well, he's got a boyfriend."

"Who is it?"

"I dunno. I heard he works here."

Iruka gritted his teeth and tried not to explode on his students. How did a group of eight year old even start gossiping about this?? Iruka took a deep breath and tried to not think of who this guy could be. He works here at the academy…? No! It doesn't matter! Stop thinking about it!

***

"Did you know Kakashi-kun has a boyfriend now?"

"Kakashi… you mean Hatake's boy?"

"That's him. He used to steal apples from our garden, remember?"

"Ahh yes, yes… How old is he now?"

"It's been nearly twenty years since he graduated from the academy, I think…"

"A boyfriend you say?"

"Yep. A nice little chuunin sensei, from what I've heard."

"He grew up so quickly, that Hatake boy."

"Especially after what happened with…well, poor kid."

"But he grew up well, that's what matters."

"And he's got himself a girlfriend! What's she like?"

"Boyfriend, Opal, boyfriend. I hear he's got quite a little temper on him."

"That's just like Kakashi-kun. He's always liked the fiery ones."

"Nevertheless, beneath the temper he's a lovely boy."

"So you know who it is?"

Iruka tried his best not to listen to the conversation as he dusted the shelves at the retirement home. He was helping out here in his spare time, hoping to escape from the mainstream rumours. No such luck.

"Oh, I'm sure you know him. He looks a bit foreign with his dark skin and hair. He got that scar across his nose from when Tsunade was baby sitting him and she got drunk, remember that?"

Iruka felt the hairs at the back of his neck rising.

"Ahh yes, and she couldn't heal it properly, and she was so scared! Wasn't that when she decided she'd become a medic?"

"Poor girl. I was the one who was at the hospital when she came in with the boy, you know."

"Anyways that's him. He's good with children too, unlike Tsunade-chan…"

"Sounds familiar…long hair? Always tied up, kind of like the Nara boys?"

"That's him…what's his name again…?"

"You boy, dusting the shelves. What's your name again?"

"U-Umino Iruka…"

"That's the one."

***

Iruka stormed across Konoha towards the jounin's living quarters, muttering darkly under his breath.

"Hatake! Kakashi, explain yourself!" Iruka demanded, rapping loudly against the door, "Hatake Kakashi, come out here at once!"

"Good afternoon, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi greeted casually, opening his door a crack and peering warily out at the fuming chuunin.

"What is the meaning of this?" Iruka asked angrily, scowling darkly at the innocent-looking jounin.

"I'm sure I don't know what you—"

"Don't give me that crap! The whole village thinks I'm your boyfriend!"

"Well…just the people at the old age home know it's actually you…," Kakashi said reasonably. Iruka stared at the older man in disbelief.

"I don't know how this may have slipped your attention, Hatake-san, but I happen to be not your boyfriend…," Iruka said, trying to sound patient while gritting his teeth.

"Not yet," Kakashi said, a little grin in his visible eye.

"What?" Iruka demanded.

"You know, it's surprisingly difficult starting a rumour," Kakashi said conversationally, opening the door wider and stepping outside, "but once it's started, it spreads alarmingly quickly."

"Are you admitting that you started the rumour, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked darkly. Kakashi smiled cheerfully.

"I am, yes. I was trying to challenge myself, you know? I wanted to see if I could beat the rumour to you, but I underestimated the speed at which rumours could travel. Did you know I only started it yesterday? I was expecting at least two days before it picked up any credibility, and then another—"

"You started a rumour that I was your…your boyfriend…to challenge yourself…," Iruka repeated dazedly, unable to grasp any logic whatsoever behind the words.

"That's right," Kakashi said proudly.

"Why…?"

"Well, the original plan what that I'd let you hear the vague, preliminary rumours first, then become your boyfriend for real before the rumours containing your identity reached you. I was working on my speed and accuracy when I came up with the idea," Kakashi explained patiently, as though it were a legitimate training schedule.

"How…," Iruka started, trying to shake himself out of the befuddled daze that Kakashi's nonsensical logic had put him in.

"Like this," Kakashi said softly, leaning in and swiftly pulling down his mask. He smiled at Iruka's wide-eyed surprise before he pressed his lips to the soft pair before him, slightly parted in surprise.

"Oh…"

***

"Did you hear? Kakashi's got a boyfriend…"

***

A/N: Please please please please review this story? Nobody's reviewing :'( Is it that bad? I want to add a couple more chapters before christmas but nobody seems to be reading this X'(