A/N Not my characters. 

Look! An update less than a week after the last! Hurray! Sadly, this one is uber-short, given the nature of this chapter. It felt like I was going against the theme to try to expand it.

When I initially conceived this story, I wasn't going to include Bella's POV at all. Then, I realized that in order to understand how she progresses in her 'New Perspective' of herself, we need to know where she's coming from. This is just a teeny bit of a look into her mindset for the beginning of the story.

A big hello and welcome to beenacheezaWA18, CSWells and miss-behave0308!

I have a confession to make. I have yet to get a review for ANP. I know that isn't much of a confession, but I get all warm and tingly when I get notifications that people have added my little story. I never had grand illusions of it being the best piece of fanfiction ever written, but I'm enjoying writing it. So, if you have a chance when you're done with the chapter, let me know if you enjoy reading it. Please?

Now that my author's note is almost as long as the chapter, I'll leave you to read. Enjoy!

Chapter 7

Bella's Diary

I saw James the other day. He walked up to me while I was waiting to get my pain meds from yet another sprained ankle. I wish he would just leave me alone. Every time I see him, it hurts a little bit more that even a dick-head like him wouldn't want me.

I don't know why he even wanted me in the first place. I work too much, and it's not like I'm a super-model like Rose or charismatic like Alice. I'm just plain, boring Bella. Plus he had no qualms about pointing out my flaws and he never acted like he was attracted to me in the first place.

I guess he saw what every other guy saw - a means to an end. Why would I be anything else? My schedule works perfectly for all the commitment-phobic guys of the world. I work late hours, usually getting off just in time to eat a quick dinner, watch the news and go to bed. Except when I'm seeing someone of course. Then some of those nights sex takes the place of the news.

It's not even like I'm rushing home to have sex anyway. I've always wondered if there's something wrong with me in that department. None of my partners have ever had any complaints, quite the opposite, in fact. But for some reason I don't get that much out of it. Yeah, it's fun and it feels good, but I could never understand how Emmett and Rose or Alice and Jasper could go at it all night, or even want it several times every day. I feel like I'm missing out on something. It must go back to the being a means to an end thing. Why should they take the time to give me the attention I want when all they want is their pleasure?

Anyway, back to the point. Luckily, Emmett saved me from talking to James too much when he pretty much threatened to castrate James and feed him his own balls. I am so thankful to have someone like Emmett in my life. I never had a brother and he's like my surrogate brother - my protector from the jackasses of the world.

I know that as long as Em's in my life I have someone to stand up for me. I was worried when he first started dating Rose that he wouldn't have time to spend with Alice and me, but he quickly put those doubts to rest. Rose even started hanging out with us. I have to admit, she intimidated the shit out of me when I first met her, but once I got to know her, I couldn't imagine Em without her. She's perfect for him, and she's never once made me feel like she thought she was better than me.

All my friends are pairing off and it's making me feel very left out. I'm so incredibly happy for them, but also a bit jealous. I feel bad because I can tell that Alice holds back when she's talking about Jasper because she doesn't want to make me feel worse about being single. She knows me so well. No matter how hard I try to hide my feelings, she can see right through me. She keeps telling me that my time is coming, but I don't really believe her.

See, Alice claims that the reason I haven't found anybody yet is because it's going to take someone "extra special" to be worthy of me. I honestly don't see where she gets this idea, seeing as I'm just me, but she's adamant in her assessment. I usually just laugh it off. I just can't bring myself to believe her. It'd kill me to get my hopes up only to be disappointed with another Mike or James.

Last night, I finally met Emmett's brother. He seems like a great guy. He's a pediatrician at the hospital. He had us cracking up at dinner last night telling us stories about his pint-sized patients and their over-protective parents. I think he's going to be a great addition to the group. And hopefully now I'll have a partner when we all pair off for stuff. I lost my partner when Alice met Jasper. Now we have even numbers again. Hopefully he won't meet someone too quickly, leaving me the odd man out again.

Who am I kidding? Someone like Edward won't stay single too long. He's just too… perfect. I don't know what Carlisle and Esme were drinking when they conceived their sons, but both of them are heart-stoppers. In Edward's case, I mean literally. When I first saw him last night, I swear my heart skipped a couple beats. I think he caught me staring at him. Then Alice convinced him to play his guitar and he played one of my favorite Foo Fighters songs. I was transfixed by him the entire time he was playing. It almost felt like he was singing directly to me.

But who am I kidding? I couldn't even dream of ever being with someone like Edward. I'm like, tee-ball compared to his Major Leagues. I really hope we can be friends, though. We have a lot in common, and it's nice to have someone around who gets my sense of humor.

Work is about to get crazy. We're taking nominations for the Top 10 Seattleites issue. I hope it goes over well. One would think by now I'd stop second-guessing my instincts when it comes to Sundry, but this is more than just an article. We're planning a formal reception after the issue comes out for the honorees with a dinner and ball afterward. I hate dancing, but I'm hoping that I'll be so busy with my duties of the evening that I won't have to. Wishful thinking, I know, but a girl can hope.

I can handle anything you throw at me when it comes to the publishing industry and running a magazine, but social functions stump me. I'm terrible at mingling and prefer to be behind the scenes of the action, quietly watching and doing anything that needs to be done to ensure it goes smoothly. Once you get me in front of a crowd of people and ask me to make a speech I freak the hell out. Unfortunately, as editor of Sundry, it's pretty much required that I give a speech. I have a little over two months to figure it out.