The Love of the Uchiha

Chapter 7

I took my time getting ready for training, dreading the next time I saw Itachi. God, I'm such a fucking idiot! What did you have to blurt your feelings out for anyways? And right when he was starting to be nice to me! Now he's never going to speak to me again! After I was dressed in comfortable training gear,I sat on my bed and started braiding my hair. I completely screwed up any chance of ever being with him! Now he's going to think I'm a total creep! I tied off the bottom of my braid and twisted it up into a bun, securing it with bobby pins. I dragged my feet as I trudged down the hallway, turned left, then right, and then straight for what felt like forever, on the verge of tears as I neared the door of the training gym, which felt like it was mocking me more and more as I closed the distance. I ever so slowly opened the door and peeked into the gym. I searched the entire gym, and upon seeing that Itachi wasn't there, I straightened up and walked in. I saw Kisame waiting for me in the middle of the gym, practicing some complicated looking techniques with Shark Skin. I walked over to a table against the wall and pulled out my summoning scroll. I unrolled it on the table, bit my thumb to make use of my blood as I spread some on the paper, and performed the correct hand signs to summon my new weapon. I turned and approached Kisame.

"Hey RiRi, you get all of your presents put away?" he asked me as I began my pre-training stretches.

"Yep. Hey, have you seen Itachi?"

"No I haven't. Why?"

"Oh, no reason." That's odd. I thought he would go and see his teammate when he returned.

"Have you decided on a name for your new katana?

"Name?"

"Well ya! This is your first good quality katana! You're going to have it for a long time, and it's going to give you some good use. It needs a name."

"Huh, I never thought of it that way." I looked down at the beautiful blade in my hands. I really love the fire red handle, so I should give it a name related to that. I stared at the handle, thinking hard. I've got it! "Flame!"

"Huh?" Kisame asked, looking up from his stretches.

"Flame! That's its name!"

"Oh, I like it. It matches you. The Fox fights with its Flame. Impressive."

"Thanks! And thank you so much for the awesome gift."

He grinned at me. "Think fast!"

I had just enough time to raise Flame to block Kisame's powerful swing. We both had our own advantages in these duels. I was light and fast; able to think on my feet. He was huge and powerful, and very good at using his impressive muscles to his advantage. I jumped back, and using the sound waves from the clang of our swords to make a small wall behind my right foot to push off of, sprung forward, striking at his legs. He sidestepped me just in time, and swung Shark Skin down towards my body. I used my forward momentum to do a summersault and throw myself out of his range. As I stood up, I turned to see him coming at me, moving too fast for me to dodge. I let out an ear piercing scream, using the powerful sound waves to form a barrier between him and I, which slowed him down just enough to give me time to bring Flame up to meet Shark Skin. I sent chakra through my arms, giving me the strength to push him back across the room. I formed the hand signs to execute the hidden mist jutsu before Kisame could strike again. As the mist rose up around me, I used the cover to create a water clone, and as I saw water creeping over the floorboards towards me, probably from Kisame trying to find me, I split up with my clone. I ran to the wall and ran up, attaching myself to the ceiling. I used my Hikitsugan to see what was happening in the mist. I spotted Kisame. I saw him on one knee with his left hand splayed on the ground, with the water flowing out from him. I was correct in my assumption that he was using the water to find me. I saw my clone creeping through the mist, appearing to be attempting to feel any vibrations that would be caused from any movement Kisame made, and would be carried along the mist to her, immediately alerting her to his postion. It was a technique I used often to find my prey. I watched as they both searched for each other.

I saw the exact moment my clone made the mistake. In her deep concentration, she failed to notice the water creeping up behind her, and a split second after it touched her shoe, Kisame was behind her, Shark Skin at her throat. The mist began to clear and I heard Kisame whisper, "I win." My clone hummed lightly, and I used the distraction to drop down from the ceiling, muffling the sound of impact, efficiently making my drop silent. My clone said, "It would appear so..." By the time she said the last word, I was behind Kisame and had raised Flame to his throat and I finished her sentence, "If that wasn't a clone." He froze.

"What? You beat me?" The disbelief was obvious in his voice.

"And the pupil becomes the master." I lowered Flame from his throat and he turned around to face me.

"I am impressed. For the first time in four years, you have beaten me. How fitting that it is on your birthday. I have no more to teach you." I bowed to him. "You are now a master of the katana."

I straightened up. "Thank you for taking so much time and patience to train me."

"Teaching you has been rewarding. You learn fast. Just know that this was a real life and death situation, I would not have cared if your blade was at my throat, I would have continued. You have to be prepared to kill without hesitation. Or else, they will find a way out and escape and possibly kill you. Well, I need to wash up. Not many people can make me sweat so much." He gave me a small bow and exited the training gym. As he opened the door, Pein came through.

"Oh hello Kisame, thank you for holding the door."

"Oh uh no problem." He bowed deeply and hurried to leave. He ran head first into Itachi in the doorway. I froze, a sick feeling sinking into my stomach.

"Oh hey Itachi, you're back!"

"Yes. How was training?"

"Fantastic. Got beat! Can you believe it? This tiny little woman beating me in my own specialty!"

"That's impressive."

"Oh hell ya! Well I gotta go wash up. See ya later!" He passed Itachi, and left.

It was only then when I noticed Pein was approaching me, with Itachi in tow. I felt my heart beat speed up. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap! He told Pein what I said, and now he's going to kill me! I looked down as Pein stopped in front of me. I felt like my heart was beating so fast that it was going to explode.

"Leader, I am so sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

I looked up at him. "Wait, I'm not in trouble?"

He looked confused. "Ummm no? Should you be?"

Relief swept through me. "No. I was just being paranoid. What's up?" I looked behind him at Itachi. The man was staring at his feet, his brow scrunched, appearing to be deep in thought. I wonder what he's thinking about. Why didn't he tell Pein what I said?

"I have a mission for you and Itachi. There is a-"

"Wait, what? Hold up a second! Itachi and I? We aren't teammates. Why are you teaming us up?" Itachi looked up at me with a blank look on his face. Oh how I wish he would look at me with that affection again.

"Kisame has some personal things he needs to attend to and-"

Itachi perked up at this. "Wait. Kisame has personal stuff? That doesn't sound like him." It did sound peculiar to me. Wouldn't he have mentioned something about this to me during our training? He knows what's going on with me. Hell, we all seem to know what's going on with everyone.

Pein turned to face him. "Itachi, it doesn't matter if Kisame is your teammate or not. I will not discuss his personal matters with you, just as I would not discuss your personal matters with him." Itachi's cheeks turned pink, which was so absolutely adorable, I had to hold myself back from running to him and snuggling him to death. But it made me wonder, what is he hiding? He looked down and continued inspecting his shoes.

Pein turned back to me. "I have sent Tobi on a solo mission."

I scoffed. "What? Tobi on a solo mission?"

"Yes."

"Let me get this straight. You sent the man who manages to almost screw up every one of our missions TOGETHER on a SOLO mission?"

"Yes."

"Oh well of course! 'Cause that makes PERFECT sense!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well I guess I don't have to deal with him anymore if he gets himself killed." I shrugged and heard Itachi give a soft chuckle.

Pein scowled at me. "As I was saying, you and Itachi will be meeting a man who has claimed to have information on where we can find the five tail's jinchuuriki. He is potentially volitile, so you need to watch what you do and say around him. He wishes to remain anonymous, so we do not know exactly who he is, be he has sent us word that he will meet you in an inn in a small village in the Land of Water. Itachi knows where to go."

"Yes sir."

"Start packing. You leave early in the morning. Good luck." He gave bows to Itachi and I and left, leaving us alone in the gym. I looked up at Itachi as he looked at me, followed by a painfully awkward silence. I could see him fighting to wipe his face of emotion, only recognizing it because of my experience doing the exact same. I sighed. I wish he wouldn't do that with me. I wish he felt comfortable enough to tell me his thoughts and feelings. I searched my head for something to talk about.

"Ummm... Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"I heard from Kisame the other day that you're worried about your brother, Sasuke, since he joined Orochimaru."

He gaze seemed to soften at my interest in his brother. "Yes, I am worried about him. I've worked with Orochimaru before, and I know exactly why he is interested in Sasuke. It hurts that I can't protect him." He seemed relieved at the chance to talk about it.

It was easy to understand his pain. I didn't know what I would do if some creep took Hana and I had no way to help her. "Well, if he's anything like you, he'll be okay."

"I really hope so."

"What was he like as a child?"

His eyes lit up at that question. "He was always so happy and full of energy. He idolized me, and I absolutely adored him. He never let what father said get to him. He loved to train with me."

"It sounds to me like you miss him."

"I really do." His face darkened. "But he'll never forgive me for what I did."

I felt his pain like a ton of bricks hitting me in the chest as I remembered my sisters on that last day. Will they ever forgive me? "I'm sure if you explained everything-"

"No. He will never forgive me. I would never forgive me. What I did was unforgivable."

I knew that he killed his entire clan, only allowing his brother to live. I always assumed he had a good reason, and nothing would convince me otherwise. "Look Itachi, no matter what you say, I know you didn't want to do what you did. You had to. I don't know the reason, but I'm sure it was a good one. Getting to know you these past four years has shown me that you are a good man."

"No I'm not." He avoided making eye contact with me.

"Yes you are!" I yelled, startling him. "Look at me!" He did as I said. "What you have done in the past does not reflect who you are in your heart. You are a good man. I know that with all my heart and soul."

He took my cheek in his hand and we stood like that in silence for a couple minutes, staring into each other's eyes, until he dropped his hand and looked away. My cheeks flushed pink as I craved to feel his touch again. My heart sped up as I took a step closer to him. "Itachi?"

He looked back at me, and my cheeks flushed even brighter. "Yes RiRi?"

My heart fluttered as he spoke my nickname in his deep, mesmerizing baritone, but at the same time, it sunk at the fact that he didn't call me by the name only he used, Riya. "Do you... I mean would you... um... ever see yourself... having your own family?"

"You mean like a wife and children?"

"Ya." My breath hitched.

He looked straight into my eyes and said, "Never." My heart crashed to the floor. "I can never love again, no matter how special the person is to me."

My heart broke and shattered into a million little pieces. I looked down to hide my face that I know was showing my devistation. I thought I heard him whisper, "because I could never hurt anyone ever again." followed by an almost silent, "especially you." but I was sure I had imangined it.

"Oh, um, well then you can forget what I said earlier then. It didn't mean anything." My voice was shaking uncontrollably. I need to get out of here. "I'll see you later."

I turned and started speed walking to the door.

"RiRi! Wait!"

I ignored him and continued walking until I was out of the training gym. As the door closed behind me, I started running. Straight, right, left, then all the way to my room. When I got to my room, I yanked the door open, ran in, and slammed the door behind me. I leaned my back against my door, and struggled to catch my breath. I locked my door and walked to my bed and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and pictured Itachi. I saw his onyx eyes that were windows to his soul at times, and were steel doors locked with chains at other times. I saw his silky long black locks that begged me to run my hands through them. I saw his lips, the lips that spoke sweet things that would melt my heart one second, and stab knives through it a second later. I remembered how he looked at me earlier as I recieved his locket. At that moment, I really thought he felt something for me too. I took the locket from my neck and held it in my hands, feeling the cold metal warm up the longer I held it. I pictured Itachi taking my hands in his larger, soft, warm hands and promising to love me forever. I could feel my heart bleeding as I finally let the tears begin to fall. Oh what am I thinking? He will never love me back. He told me so. I told him I love him and he threw my heart on the floor and trampled on it. I have no future with him. So why can't I stop thinking about him? I rolled over and began to sob into my pillow, almost screaming from the pain. I can't take it! This pain is too much!

Suddenly, there was a knock at my door. "Who is it?"

Deidara's voice came through the door, "It's me RiRi. Let me in." His voice was filled with worry.

I got out of bed and let him in, locking the door behind him again. He immediately hugged me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"My room is right next to yours. I can hear pretty much anything going on in here. I heard you and Itachi earlier and I heard you crying. RiRi, tell me everything."

He sat me on my bed and sat down next to me on my right side. I looked up into the honest, loving grey eyes of my brother, and I poured out my heart. I finally opened up and told him everything. I spoke of my childhood. All my hopes and dreams, my parent's expectations, and all of the hard work and sacrifice I put in to reach those expectations and dreams. Then, in just one day, everything flew out the window. I told him the sickening reality that I have never been happier anywhere than I am here, in the Akatsuki, as an S rank criminal. "I mean, what does that say about me? That I am happier being a criminal, with a family of criminals, than being with my own family?" I told him everything that happened with Itachi. How I felt when I first saw him, before I even knew his name. How I had fallen so deeply in love with him over the past four years. Everything that happened today. "I had accepted that I would never fall in love, marry, and have a family when I joined the Akatsuki. I had understood that and gotten over it. But fate is so sick and twisted that I fell in love with a man who will never love me back."

"How do you know he will never love you back?" he asked.

"He told me. It's been four years Dei, and he has never once given me any reason to believe that he feels anything for me besides friendship. Then he says it! Hell, I practically announced to the world that I'm in love with him, and he just throws it back in my face!"

Deidara laid back on my bed, putting his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He appeared to be deep in thought. I laid next to him and propped my body up with my elbow with my head in my hand. I watched him as I played with his long blond hair, which was splayed out around him, with my spare hand. Deidara really is handsome. Why couldn't I have fallen for him? He's only a year younger than me. Plus, I know he loves me. Two years ago, Deidara had confessed his undying love for me and begged me to date him. Unfortunately, I could never see myself with him at the time, and I had to break his heart and help him pick up the pieces. As I looked at him, I thought to myself, I could fall for him I guess. I would be happy with him. Itachi will never love me, so I might as well be happy and spend my life with my sweet, gentle Deidara. I released the piece of hair I was playing with and laid my hand on his cheek, turning his face to look at me. I knew my emotions must have been showing because his eyes widened as our eyes locked. "What's up Ri-" His words were cut off as my lips met his. For a couple seconds, his lips were still, but when he finally started kissing back, my mind blanked. I had heard people talking about kissing like it was the best thing in the world, but I never believed them, and I definitely never imagined anything like this. I could feel his emotions pouring into me through his lips. I could feel his love for me and I began to melt into his warm lips as they caressed and massaged mine. I never wanted this to end. I forgot my pain and just focused on Deidara.

Suddenly, his lips froze and he pulled away. I opened my eyes to find his piercing grey eyes searching mine. "Dei, what's wrong?"

"RiRi, you know I love you."

"Yes, so please be with me."

"RiRi, I know you don't feel the same way about me."

"Dei, I love you."

"You love me like a brother, not a lover."

"I can change that."

"No RiRi, you need to be with Itachi."

"He'll never love me-"

"You don't know that!" he yelled, shocking me silent. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think he's scared. He doesn't know what to do with his emotions, so he hides them, just like you. Seems like you're made for each other. Look RiRi, I've known Itachi longer than you and I know when he's acting odd. He acts different around you."

Something in his tone gave me the impression he knew more than he was telling me. "You're not telling me something."

He froze. "No I'm not." The pink tone rising in his cheeks was unmistakable.

I squinted at him. "Yes you are. What are you hiding?" I pushed him back down and sat on his stomach, putting my hands on his shoulders."Please Dei, tell me. I need to know."

He avoided my probing eyes, turning his head to the side, looking at my pillow. "RiRi, I wanted you to find out yourself."

"Find out what?"

"When you came back from training, Itachi followed you."

It was my turn to freeze. "What?" He looked back at me.

"He followed you! When I hear you slam your door, I came out to check on you. He was standing at your door! He was leaning his head on your door, his hand up, looking like he wanted to knock, but couldn't find it in himself to."

I felt my heart lift just a little. "Then what happened?"

"He noticed I was there. I've never seen him like that before. I thought he was going to cry."

I felt another knife stab through my heart at the thought of my sweet Itachi crying.

"I've never seen him so depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He told me what happened with Hidan, and he told me he didn't know what he would do if you ebery got hurt. He said he just hurt you really bad, and he didn't know what to do. He never wants you to hurt. If that man doesn't love you, I'm a monkey's uncle. I'm willing to bet he loves you even more than I do, and two days ago I would have said that's impossible."

My mind felt numb as I slid off him. Does he really love me? Could it be true? My mind couldn't seem to process the thought. Deidara quickly jumped up and helped me lay down and get under the covers. He seemed to see that I was in shock. I closed my eyes as I tried to process everything he told me, and everything that had happened today.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was dark. Huh, I must have fallen asleep. I looked at my clock to see that it was midnight. I sat up and looked around my room. At the foot of my bed was my mission pack. I scooted over and looked inside the bag. That's odd. Someone packed for my mission for me. A single tear slid down my cheek as an empty loneliness sunk into the pit of my stomach. So, for the first time in three years, I climbed out of bed and snuck into Deidara's room. My first year in the Akatsuki, I did this every night. Deidara knew I had horrible nightmares, so he allowed me to sleep with him. I felt safe with him, and he always made the nightmares go away. As I climbed into his bed, he stirred and turned his head toward me.

"RiRi?" he whispered groggily.

"Ya, it's me."

"Are you okay?"

"Ya, I'm fine. I got lonely."

"Oh, ok." He flipped over and pulled me into his arms, falling asleep immediately. I rested my head on his chest and let his warmth and the steady beat of his heart to lull me to sleep.