Chapter 7: Sick

Previously...
After the Ceremony, I tell my parents I need some air, but really I need Tobias. So I go to the place that has the most of him. Climbing down the ladder isn't the same without him. The atmosphere feels...disheartening. I sit down on the mat we made love on, and scream into my hands. I want to hate him, but all I feel is love. How can you hate someone you love? I want him back. But he made his choice, now we both have to live will it.

The first thing I register in the morning was smell of oatmeal with butter and my stomach is sent off a cliff. I rush into my bathroom and empty my stomach of last night's dinner. After I finish, I sit on the floor, balling my eyes out. It's been two weeks since Tobias left me after our...last night. I still can't believe I went through with it. I mean, I'm fourteen, not particularly pretty, and Abnegation-born. God, why am I so stupid?

I have no idea how long I've sat on the floor, but when I hear footstep coming closer, I quickly stand—which probably wasn't the best idea, considering my splitting ache and nausea—and wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Beatrice, are you alright? May I come in?" My mother softly through the door. I splash some cold water on my swollen, flushed face, hoping that it'll help. I clear my throat.

"Yea, I'm fine, I just think I'm a little under the weather today. And I'm about to take a shower," I call back.

"Okay, sweetheart, breakfast is ready, and your father has left for work."

"Okay, I'll hurry, thanks mom," and with that I hear her footsteps descent downstairs. "What's wrong with me?" I ask myself, while running my hands through my hair.

After a long, steamy shower, I decide to come back to reality. When I walk out of my bathroom, I notice how my feet are more plump than usual. I never get sick. Ever. The last time I think I was sick was when I was four or five and it was the flu. But other than that, I don't recall. After putting on my grey dress—that's a couple sizes to big—and stuffing my feet into my grey boots, I climb down the stairs, where I meet my mother in the kitchen.

"How did you sleep, Beatrice?" she asks, kindly.

"Well," I smile. Actually I didn't sleep at all. The past two weeks I have got maybe only eight hours without a nightmare about Tobias. I think about him all the time. There hasn't been a moment when I don't. I see him everywhere; in my dreams, at school, and sometimes when I'm lucky, I'll see his ghost in the training room. A constant reminder about my mistake that night. My thoughts consume my mind that I don't even hear mom calling my name.

"Honey, are you feeling alright?" she must sense my distance and I don't blame her. I haven't really talked these last few weeks. Maybe a 'hello' or an 'uh' here and there, but today is really the first conversation I've had with her.

"I'm fine, just not feeling good," I try a convincing smile and add, "I'm going to school, love you," I give her a quick hug and head out the door, not bothering with breakfast.

I decide to walk to school today, hoping that the fresh air would help. But as I stroll by the Factionless sector, I get hit with a wave of the foul smell lurking around. I immediately hunch over and spill my guts. Sometime later I feel a small, warm hand rubbing my back, but once I don't recognize the hand, I flinch away.

"I'm sorry to startle you, but it looked like you needed it," I turn and face the female voice. There's an oddly familiar appearance about her. Her nose hooks at the end and her hair is so dark brown it looks black. Her jaw is more squared off and she has a certain way she holds herself. Pride. And for being factionless, that's rare.

"Yeah, thanks," I say, trying to keep my cool.

"You're welcome, can I ask you, why are you vomiting?" Her brows crease together, just like Tobias's did when he was concerned.

"Um, I'm not sure, but I lost somebody, and I guess my body is trying to compromise with my emotions,"

"I'm sorry for your loss, but I have to ask, family or friend?"

"Does it matter? He's gone and there's nothing I can do about it!" I probably shouldn't have told her all of this, but she sent me wild. "I—I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." and I trail off.

"So, a lover?" she asks. I don't know why she's asking all this—and it's starting to get on my nerves, but I feel like I can trust her. I guess my silence answered her because she continues, "Ahh, I used to have one—we even got married and had a son—but that's beside the point. Honey, don't get involved with them, yet."

"And if I've already have," Her facial expression changes from pity to surprise. I guess I would be surprised too if I were her. A teenage Abnegation girl already having self-serving acts with another Abnegation boy. I didn't even realize I was crying until she brought her hand up to wipe them away.

"It only gets worst, Hun," she smile weakly.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask shyly. She nods. "What was he like? Your son?"

"Handsome. Gorgeous blue eyes and brown hair. He had a lot of spirit for someone in Abnegation," she smiles and leads me over a fallen brick, where we sit and I take in a deep breath.

I continue, "How old were you?"

She looks slightly confused at my question, but then answers with some hesitation, "Twenty-five, standard Abnegation age."

"Abnegation? But how are you Factionless?" I stare at her in shock. No one ever leaves Abnegation. Until death do us part. Tobias was the first to transfer in over thirty years.

"Yes, I kind of got in trouble with the government," she looks at her hands, trying to hide the shame that I written all over her face.

"What did you do?" After the words slip out, I feel incredible intrusive. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean to ask—I shouldn't have—" she cuts me off.

"No, no, no! It's fine, it's just, I don't like to talk about it." We stay silent until she breaks the ice again. "Can I ask you something?" I cautiously nod and she goes on. "Why are you sick?"

"I think I eat something bad early," I say robotically.

"You mentioned a lover? Did you..." she huffs. "Were you guys...intimate?" Her question takes me by surprise and I gasp.

"Absolutely not! No! I would never do that at this age or time or whatever..." and I trail off, finding myself sounding way too defensive.

"Hun, have you missed anything?" Missed anything? What is she talking about? "You know...like womanly things..." What? "The thing you get every month..." What the hell? Why is she asking...

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because when I first got...pregnant...everything I smelt made my stomach flip," Pregnant? Who said anything about this? I completely and utterly confused by this strange woman.

"I'm sorry, but what are you even talking about?" I ask, trying to keep my voice from shouting.

"Well, Hun, I think you're pregnant."

A/N: Dun Dun da! Sorry this was a small filler chapter and a sucky one at that, but I promise next the next chapter with be longer and better :( Question of the day: Who do you think the Factionless woman was? Thanks for all you kind reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys are the best! Okay, since Thanksgiving is coming up this Thursday, I might not have time to update this upcoming Sunday, so I'm going to post chapter 8 Wednesday night, but I won't be able to update again until December 7. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I too want to spend time with my family.

Live Long & Prosper