Chapter Seven - Girl Talk is No Bark and All Bite

"Again."

Ariel spat out blood and then dragged her wrist across her mouth. "Okay," she rasped, settling into her stance. "Ready."

The redhead studied her for a moment, as if analyzing every breath she took. Then she nodded. "Begin."

Ariel blocked a blow. She delivered one but it was deflected. She—

"Ow," Ariel groaned, lifting herself from the floor. Blood drooled from her mouth and puddled below her. "That hurts."

"You're overthinking. There's a line between analysis and paralysis," Natasha said, staring impassively down at her. "The trick it to toe that line but not cross it. Again."

"God, I can't wait until Clint is back," Ariel mumbled, dragging herself back up.

Natasha raised one eyebrow. "Am I not an adequate substitute, Hayward?"

"Uh, no, that's not— Sorry. I guess I just wasn't ready for someone to show me that Clint really meant it when he said he was going easy on me." Ariel flushed and scratched the back of her neck, wincing at the way it stretched her ribs.

Her trainer studied her and then stepped back, unwinding the tape around her hands. "We'll start again in the morning."

"What?" Ariel stepped forward, ready to protest, but her vision swam from lightheadedness. When she refocused, Natasha was gone. With a groan, Ariel sank back down to the floor. She fell back and covered her eyes with her hand in order to protect herself from the bright light that was making the pounding in her head louder. "Shit."


"I would ask if you got everything unpacked, but considering that—minus your weapons—you walked in here with just a backpack, I'm gonna assume you've been done for three years now."

Ariel looked up from her coffee and rolled her eyes. "I like the room, Tony. Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. It's gonna seem huge, considering you basically own nothing." He sat down next to her and snatched up one of the croissants from her plate.

"Pepper is taking me on a shopping spree this afternoon," Ariel mused. "I'll probably fill it up with a few things."

"Ugh. Finally. Where are Thing One and Thing Two, by the way?" Tony asked, giving Steve a little wave at the man joined them in the kitchen.

"Clint and Nat? They said they were pickin' something up," Ariel said, shrugging. "So not sure. Where are Bruce and Thor?"

"I showed Bruce his lab, so he's been playing around. But Thor headed down there a few minutes ago, so I bet they'll be up here pretty soon." Tony polished off the croissant and licked his fingers. "Hey, Capsicle."

"Hmm?" Steve sat down at the table, spreading strawberry cream cheese on his bagel. "What is it?"

"You've seen Star Wars, right?"

"Seen . . . ." He frowned. "What?"

Ariel choked on her coffee and spluttered for a moment. "You haven't seen Star Wars?" she gasped out. "How is that even possible?"

"Well, c'mon, now," Tony said. "He was in carbonite for a good hundred years."

"Ice, Tony. I was in— Hundred? I was not—"

Ariel waved a hand, interrupting him. "No, you don't— He's making a reference, Steve. You wouldn't understand." She glanced at the elevator and lit up. "Bruce! Steve has never seen Star Wars!"

Bruce blinked. "That's not exactly surprising."

"Star Wars?" Thor asked curiously. "What is Star Wars?"

"You know what this is starting to sound like?" Tony mused. "This is starting to sound like an excuse for some movie nights."

"I like what you're saying," Ariel said, grinning. "There's probably lots of things that Steve—and Thor—need to see. Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Star Trek—"

"I thought you already said Star Trek," Steve said, looking confused.

"No, that was Star Wars. Big difference. We need to make a list."

"Got it," Tony said, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the table. "J? Start a list of shows and movies we need to introduce the old timers to."

"Of course, Sir," JARVIS responded. "I believe now would be a good time to let you know that Agents Barton and Romanoff have returned to the Tower and are asking everyone to stay on the common floor until they arrive."

Ariel glanced up at the ceiling. "Should . . . we be worried?"

"There seems to be no cause for concern."

"Yeah, that's not really as comforting as you think. They're pretty sneaky." Ariel finished her coffee and got to her feet, gathering up her cup and plate. She moved to the sink and started rinsing them off. "Chances are, Clint's roped Natasha into playing a prank on someone. Probably Tony."

"Why me?"

The elevator opened. "Ari!"

Ariel fumbled with the cup and jerked her gaze up. "Wha— Bessie?" She set down the cup. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Clint grinned. "We got Stark to buy her a couple plane tickets for us."

"Oh my— Bessie!" Ariel squealed and limped across the room as quickly as she could. She slammed into her friend's arms. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

Beth laughed. "Well, that defeats the purpose of a surprise, doesn't it?" She squeezed Ariel tightly and looked up. "Hi! It's nice to meet you."

Clint cleared his throat. "Everyone, this is Elizabeth, Ariel's friend. While Ariel is the cute, friendly cinnamon roll, Elizabeth is the angry, burnt toast."

Bruce blinked. "Really, Barton?"

"Oh, believe me. Ariel may be the trained assassin, but Elizabeth will shank you and leave you to die in the nearest gutter if you so much as look at her wrong."

Beth rolled her eyes and turned to the room. "You can call me Beth. I'm an attorney, so I'm not exactly running around shanking people in my free time."

Steve was the first to step forward, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."

She shook his hand firmly. "Dear god, you're even bigger in person than I thought."

He blinked. "Oh, um. Thanks?"

Her gaze slid from him to Thor and her jaw dropped. "Fuck. I take it back. You, sir, are huge!" She stepped up to him and then reached out, poking him firmly in the chest. "Holy shit, you're real."

Thor just grinned at her. "It's nice to meet a friend of Lady Ariel!"

"Oh my god." Beth turned to Ariel. "I'm gonna swoon. Catch me."

"I will not," Ariel said flatly. She motioned the others forward. "This is Bruce."

"Banner, right. Ariel read your papers obsessively all through high school. Her winning science fair project was actually based off some of your work," Beth said, smiling as she shook his hand.

Bruce glanced at Ariel and then back at Beth. "Oh, well, that's nice to know. It's nice to meet you."

"If you two are ready to go, Pepper is waiting for us in the garage," Natasha cut in. "Girls' day, remember? Pepper's got a nice itinerary. We're going to the spa before lunch and then we've got the enter afternoon and evening to ourselves."

"Right!" Ariel stepped over to where she'd left her flats by the couch and slipped them on. She patted her pocket to check for her phone. "Ready."

"Great!" Beth hooked an arm through hers and started dragging her forward. "Let's go!"

Natasha threw a wave to the others. "I'll probably bring them back alive. Don't wait up for us." She herded both of them into the elevator and pressed the button for the garage. "You didn't bring any guns, did you, Ariel?"

"No. Just a couple knives. Don't worry, I'll hide 'em at the spa so the masseuse doesn't get ahold of them."

"I didn't bring any guns either," Beth said, shrugging. "Not that, you know, anyone was really worried about that with me."

"You're more dangerous with your words and a law book than you could ever be with an actual gun," Ariel said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, do you even know how to shoot? Did I ever get around to showing you that?"

"No, you didn't," Beth said dryly. "I get the gist of it, though."

The elevator door opened and Natasha shook her head. "We'll have to teach you. It's safer that way. Hi, Pepper."

Pepper smiled and held out the keys for Natasha to take. "We're taking the red Audi. Go ahead and get in."

Ariel slid into the back with Beth. "So, what's the plan, Pepper?"

"Pampering," the woman responded easily. She held up a card and waved it. "And it's all on Tony's dime."


"My skin is so fucking soft."

"I'm trying to sleep, Bess," Ariel mumbled into her pillow.

"I've never had my legs waxed before. They're so hairless."

"That's the idea. Go to sleep."

"Feel."

"I don't want to— Holy—" Ariel jumped and scrambled backwards. She tumbled out of the bed. "Your feet are ice cold!"

Beth burst out laughing and peered over the edge of the bed. "Have a nice trip?"

Ariel pouted up at her. "I hate you."

"No you don't." Beth took her hand and pulled her back on the bed. "C'mon, this is our first sleepover in a whole year. You can't just sleep."

"It's a sleepover."

"It's a misnomer," Beth said, lifting her chin. "A misnomer and you know it. We have to talk. I'm flying back in the morning and I need my girl talk."

"Fine," Ariel sighed, falling back against her pillows. "Talk, then, you monster."

Beth grinned, laying on her stomach and hugging a pillow. "Thor is hot."

"Oh, god, I changed my mind. Shut up. Just let me sleep." Ariel rolled over and put her pillow over her head.

Beth snatched the pillow away. "Aw, c'mon, I'm looking out for your best interests here! You need a boyfriend!"

"I do not."

"I know, I know. That whole married to SHIELD crap you gave at the conference. But I have never seen you with a guy, Ariel, and I think it would do wonders to smooth out your rough edges."

"My rough edges," Ariel said dryly.

"Yeah, well." Beth shrugged. "You're a romantic, baby, don't deny it. You cry over Ellie and Carl in Up, no matter how many times we watch it."

"Okay, listen, everyone cries over those two. If you don't cry during Up then you're just a monster."

"Yeah, they cry because it's sad. You cry because they're in love and you love that."

Ariel stuck out her tongue.

"Admit it!"

"Okay, fine, I'm a romantic. So sue me. That's what you lawyers do, right?"

Beth groaned dramatically and hit Ariel with a pillow. "You're such an idiot. I'm trying to get you a boyfriend, Ari. Cooperate." She folded her legs beneath herself, pillow in her lap. "Alright. So, Thor."

"Nope. He's got a girlfriend, Bess."

"Got it. What about Rogers?"

"Bessie," Ariel whined.

"I'm just saying! Listen, I know you love SHIELD. I know you love what you're doing. But I know you, Ariel. I know that you want to fall in love. You want to get married, you want to have a family, you want to grow old with someone."

Ariel sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. Then she sighed. "Yeah, I know," she mumbled. "But I'm in no rush, Bessie. When it happens, it'll happen."

Beth cocked her head at her. Then she sighed. "Right. Okay. Sorry for pushing it."

Ariel nodded. Then she reached out and shoved the other woman with her foot. "How are things with Trevor?"

"Ugh. Terrible. We had our two year anniversary and he forgot it." Beth wrinkled her nose. "I mean, I get that people forget things. I wouldn't even be upset about it if he wasn't such an ass about it afterward. Talking about how it wasn't a big deal. How I was overreacting."

"Jerk. Dump him."

Beth fixed her with a glare. "You've been telling me to dump him from day one."

"Because he's been a jerk from day one. I'm right about that and you know it."

Beth stared at her for a long, long time. Then she cleared her throat and glanced to the side. "So, how have Clint and Natasha been?"

"We're doing that? Really?"

"Ari, c'mon."

Ariel sighed. "Alright. Yeah, they've been great." She smiled tensely. "Just great."


"I love you, baby." Beth squeezed her tightly and shook her. "Get me those shirtless photos of Stark if you can."

"Gross," Ariel whined again.

"I'm sorry. What?" Tony asked.

"And you guys." Beth turned on the Avengers. "Take care of her for me, got it? She may be able to kill a man seventy different ways, but she could literally kill herself by stubbing her own toe."

"Bess—"

"So I'm trusting you guys to keep her alive and happy. Got it?"

Thor smiled broadly and boomed, "Of course, Lady Beth! You can trust me to take care of my shield-sister! Do not worry."

"Oh, with you I know she's in good hands, big guy." Beth grinned and patted him on the arm. "Thanks." She turned. "Alright, then. Looks like that's my ride."

"Happy will take you straight to the airport, but don't be afraid to ask to stop for food or something if you want," Tony told her. "You got everything? I don't want to be finding any My Little Pony toothbrushes around the Tower."

"The MLP toothbrushes are Clint's," Beth said easily. "Mine is an Optimus PRime toothbrush and yes, I packed it. Happy already put my bag in the car for me. Such a gentleman. Oh! Idea! Ari—"

"No," Ariel said firmly. "Absolutely not."

Beth pouted. "Fine. Right." She saluted playfully. "It was nice meeting everyone. I'm off, then." She ducked into the car. "Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

Ariel grinned and waved as the car pulled away. Then an arm was thrown around her and she jumped. "Wha— Oh, hi, Tony. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about your uniform and everything. You free?"

"Oh. Yeah, well, I guess now is as good as ever." She let him steer her into the Tower. "Did you get the specs from SHIELD?"

"Sure did. There's already a lot of things I saw that can be improved." They stepped into the elevator. "Workshop, J. Anyway, so, we've all got our thing, right? Thor's hammer, Cap's shield, Barton's bow, and so on. What's yours? Your gimmicky weapon?"

"My—" Ariel blinked. "Um, I don't have one."

"Would you like one?"

"I guess. That'd be nice. I'd need something close quarters."

"Good. Think about it." He stepped out of the elevator and up to the glass doors. He tapped in a code and then opened the door. "Welcome to my workshop!"

"Whoa." Ariel turned in a circle, staring around the area. "This is incredible, Tony. Holy cow."

"I know. Get yourself settled. We have some work to do."

She nodded and hopped up onto one of the table. She started fiddling with her boot and just watched as he began pulling up different projects—her uniform, her utility belt, her bombs, her knives, her—

"I liked the scepter."

Tony jerked and snapped his stare up to her. "You what?"

"The scepter. I liked it. Not the mind control and all that." She waved a hand. "But it was handy. Close quarters was useful with it, especially for incapacitating rather than killing, though the spear part was a nice touch. There's just something satisfying about hitting people with a stick."

"So . . . a bo staff. You want a bo staff. Got it. One fancy bo staff, coming up." He cracked his knuckles. "Let's get started."