Rampage
After dropping Jasper off at his house I went back to my own. My fist throbbed with immense pain and I tried my best to avoid using it. My mind wandered back to the events that took place today and it could only be described as a success. Not only did I piss off a gang but I got Jasper to fight for me and give me a blow job all in the same time frame. This day was pretty fucking awesome if anyone asked me. Bella and Jacob would soon be dealt with there was no doubt about that in my mind. I would love to shove whatever plan the have concocted all the way up their asses so far up that they'd choked on it. Sighing I altered my grip on the steering wheel so that my numb hand could get some feeling back into it
Jasper.
Fuck he was beyond stunning. My stomach knotted when I thought back on all the pain he had been in after he had given me the blow job. I knew prison had fucked him up but I didn't know how badly. Seeing him so achingly vulnerable made chills run up and down my spine. Jasper had never been like that in front of me. It was strange, so out of character and almost like I was seeing him for the first time. Instead of the fierce tyrant I knew this Jasper was sweet and gentle, so sincere in his hurt and pain.
It was beautiful.
Groaning softly I pulled into garage at my house only to see Emmett's car parked in my spot. Rolling my eyes I carefully stepped out of the Volvo. The gash on my forehead was bleeding, my lip was swelled up badly and I knew a few of my fingers had to be broken. Stumbling up the walkway to my house I tried my best to act calm and composed because the last thing I wanted was to be question.
Damn.
I knew I should have at least cleaned up at Jasper's before I came home. Grumbling softly I opened the front door and tried to walk into my house. I heard soft chatter coming from the dining room and I knew it was dinner time.
Fuck.
That was just fucking prefect. Pacing as slowly as possible I tried to walk past the dining room but the front door slammed shut alerting everyone that I was home. Cursing I heard the voices stop, my heart thundered in my chest. Maybe they didn't hear it? I mean it wasn't that loud.
"Edward?" Esme called.
Shit. "Yeah.."
"Come join us for dinner."
Biting my lip I thought of ways to get out of it but I knew she'd probably hunt me down if I didn't come. Cautiously I stepped towards the room. I knew I probably looked and smelled like crap, my shirt was torn at the front and I'm pretty sure I had cum stains on my pants. A part of me wanted to laugh at the hilarity of the situation. Of course I'd get into a huge brawl and then be forced to have dinner with my family as a strange sort of punishment. Taking a deep breathe I made my way to the dining room where my family and Emmett sat eating dinner.
If I were an angel I'd fly far far away.
"Oh my," Esme said, placing a hand over her heart. "Edward, dear, what happened?"
I shrugged. "Football practice"
"Really," Rosalie asked sceptically. "Because Emmett was just saying that it was cancelled."
"Edward your face looks really bad we should put some ice on it." Carlisle said, standing to his feet. "Plus, I would like a word with you in the kitchen."
Rolling my eyes I followed him to the kitchen. He grabbed some frozen peas out of the freezer. Handing it to me he studied me carefully. "What happened?"
There was something about his tone that made me realize that lying to him would be pointless. Carlisle seemed to have a way of finding out what happened even if I did my best so make sure he didn't.
"A fight"
"With whom?"
"Does it matter? I won, that's all that really counts." I grinned.
Cagily he stared at me. "Edward…This has to stop, the secrecy and lies. The coach called and said you haven't been to football practice in a few weeks. He also said that there was an incident with Bella regarding your car. You know the car that I bought for you last year for your birthday."
"That bitch-"
"Language"
"That girl keyed my car! I had nothing to do with that!" I defended.
He stayed silent mulling over everything I said. My face throbbed so I placed the peas over it. I nearly shuddered in relief when the cold started to soothe the pain.
"Have you been taking your medication?" He asked abruptly.
"Yes," I said through gritted teeth.
"It's important that you do or else we will have no choice but to hospitalize you again-"
"I know! Gezz, do you have to remind me every fucking minute of the day!" I growled.
Raising an eyebrow he glared down at me.
"I-uh-I'm sorry." I muttered.
"Go to your room and don't come out. You are officially grounded."
"What?" I sputtered. "What did I do?"
"You know what you did Edward. I will not tolerate fights or lying in my house. I don't want that type of poison around here. Now go,"
My tempered flared and I threw the frozen peas at the refrigerator before storming out of the kitchen.
Grounded.
I was officially grounded. Carlisle had no right to do this to me. I had to see Jasper. I need to be with him. Thankfully Carlisle didn't take my car keys away or else it would be really hard to see him. Sighing deeply I climbed the stairs and went towards my bedroom. Once I got inside I collapsed on the bed exhausted and ready for sleep. My eyes closed and I fell into a deep slumber.
Waking up the next morning I felt so renewed and rejuvenated. It was amazing what a good brawl could do for me. The fight with Sam didn't even faze me. I wanted it to happen and I enjoyed it. Only after did I regret my decision to antagonize Sam because of Jasper's reaction. But Jasper was weak, I knew he would never break up with me and even if he did I wasn't going to let him go that easily. Quickly I got out of bed, showered and dressed. Today was Saturday which meant that I had the whole day to myself and since I was grounded I probably had to stay indoors.
Fuck that.
Calmly I sauntered downstairs my stomach growling softly when I smelled Esme's delicious cooking. As I walked into the kitchen I could see Rosalie and Alice already eating pancakes at the table.
"Morning Edward," Esme said, placing a plate of pancakes in front of me. "Mike and Tyler are here waiting in the living room." She shot me a warning look.
"Oh," I said, scratching my head. What the fuck could they want? Sighing, I went into the living room where they were sitting casually and talking. Trying to keep myself calm and not show my growing agitation I greeted them politely.
"Hey guys," I said, standing next to the couch.
"Ed man," Mike said, jumping to his feet. "We heard about what happened. Word on the street is that he's out for blood now."
"Who is?"
They both stared at me. "Sam Uley the leader of that…gang." Tyler whispered the last part so that my family wouldn't hear him.
"Oh," I shrugged. "Who gives a shit? Is this why you're here? To fucking waste my time?"
"Wow, chill man. We just wanted you to be careful Sam is very dangerous when he wants to be and if you ever need backup you know we got you bro," Mike said.
"Yeah, alright thanks man. Sorry just hardly slept last night and now I'm fucking grounded." I said forcing a smile. As if I needed these two worthless cunts to watch my back.
"No worries," Tyler said. "We should get going anyway. Jessica's house is empty and I'm pretty sure her pussy has Mike's name all over it."
"Really? That was the lamest thing I've ever heard you say." Mike said rolling his eyes. "See you later Edward,"
"Alright, bye" I walked them to the front door and watched them leave. As soon as Mike's car pulled out of the drive I grabbed my keys and shot out the front door. I knew I'd get in so much trouble but I didn't care. The drive to Jasper's house was faster than I expected and when I got there I realized that I hadn't called so Jasper didn't know I was coming over this early. Luckily I knew how to pick locks with credit cards. Once I got the door open I let myself in and went straight into the kitchen. I knew it would piss Peter off see me in his apartment this early in the morning but I didn't care. Strolling into the kitchen I pour a bowl of cereal for myself since my breakfast had been interrupted by Mike and Tyler. A few minutes later Jasper woke up and we went to my house. It was fun teaching him how to dance and telling him about my trip to Europe. I didn't really like sharing too much information about myself but with him things just felt natural. When Carlisle came home that night he shit a brick and grounded me for another three weeks. Later that night we spoke on the phone and I was so close to telling him that I loved him.
Because I did.
I was totally and completely in love with him.
And he didn't want to know.
After we ended our phone call I wondered why he would cut me off so quickly. Then I remembered that Jasper didn't do love. I don't even know if he's capable of such an intense emotion. Lying down on my bed I stared at the medication sitting on my night table. Carlisle expected me to take it at least twice a day.
But my head kept getting fuzzy.
I kept fucking up and I couldn't think straight while I was on it.
Why did I need to take it at all? I could be normal. Nobody would notice the difference. Sure my behavior could turn violent and my anxiety level would rise but who cares? What's fun without a little danger? Taking the pills I flushed nearly all of them down the toilet. These things were just weighing me down anyway. How could I fully love Jasper if I was high on drugs all the time? Satisfied I went back to bed, finished whatever homework I had and fell asleep.
The weekend past by in a blur of strange dreams and growing irritation Carlisle kept bugging me about my medication. It was hard to avoid him because I was grounded and he was constantly around harassing me. By Monday morning I was glad to be going to school just to get away from him. Jasper and I had made arrangements to go on another date in a few days. My heart fluttered when I thought of what we were going to do.
School turned out to be the same ongoing cycle of nonsense. The guys wanted to know what happened to my face and who kick whose ass in the fight. Since I was off my medication I didn't really have control over what I said and basically told them everything, exaggerating most of it and leaving Jasper out of it. The meat heads all congratulated me for taking on a full gang by myself and I savoured their idiocy and my duplicity.
Life was good.
On the night of our date I had to sneak out of the house to see him. I dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt trying not to draw to much attention to myself. As I slipped out of my room I saw that the majority of my family was out. Carlisle was probably working late and Esme was no doubt deeply engaged in her charity work. Tip-toeing down the stairs I walked slowly into the foyer.
"Where are you going?" A voice called behind me.
I froze immediately.
Fuck of all the people to catch me it had to be her.
Deciding to play it cool I just figured I'd tell her the truth. "Out,"
"The fuck you are Carlisle grounded you. Do you have shit for brains?" Rosalie asked stepping towards me. Her gorgeous blonde hair was tie up into a bun and she had a hand on her hip.
"Fuck off Ice Queen," I snarled and continued to walk towards the door.
"I can't believe what an ungrateful little shit you are. When you were nothing Carlisle picked you up off the ground and practically raised you-"
"I didn't ask to be adopted," I snapped back, my hands trembled and my body was vibrating with anger.
She stared at me for a minute. "Are you on your medication?"
"Fuck!" I grunted, throwing my hands in the air. Storming past her I grabbed my shoes and roughly started shoving them on my feet.
"Edward, this isn't safe. Get back on your medication-"
"No."
"What?"
"No, I'm never going back and if you ever tell Carlisle I swear I will cut off all that pretty blonde hair in your sleep."
Slamming the front door in her face I jogged to my car. Blasting the radio to calm myself down and I felt the rage slowly boil to the surface. I had always hated Rosalie because she was such a cunt. She taunted me endlessly about where I'd come from and how I was the scum of the earth just because I was an orphan.
Not by choice.
The cruel bitch had no fucking heart. How Emmett dated her seriously baffled me to no end. Despite my threat I knew she'd tell Carlisle. There was no way she would keep something like that to herself. Growing more agitated by the minute I drove carelessly to Jasper house and pick him up. I tried to be cheerful and be happy around Jasper but I couldn't keep the scowl off my face or the anger out of my voice. When Carlisle found out he was going to ground me and then I wouldn't be able to see Jasper. One of my greatest fears was that Jasper would forget who he belonged to. He might forget that I owned him and I couldn't have that.
A bitch without a lease is just like a wild animal.
Throughout the night Jasper tried to engage me in small talk but I was just too apprehensive to deal with it. Fury clouded my brain making it feel fuzzy and disorientated and when Jasper went to grab his drink my fears swirled around like a world wind.
All the men in the restaurant were staring at him.
At my Jasper.
They all gawked with hungry eyes drinking in his tight jeans and flawless features and he encouraged them all by smiling at them. I went nearly mad with jealously as Jasper flirted with the waiter and then the bartended right in front of me. Watching him from our table my hands clenched and my breathed became laboured.
I felt tears sting my eyes as the love of my life waltzed around like a fucked whore. The paranoia rose like bile in my throat threatening to choke me. Was I enough for Jasper? Of course I wasn't. A silly virgin in high school would never be enough to quench his lust.
When Jasper came back I was so riled up I didn't even think about what I was saying. Exasperated I stormed out of the restaurant and we fought before I accused him of whoring himself out.
Infuriated Jasper choked me.
Although I deserved it, that didn't stop the tears from coming. I stared up at him as they trailed down my cheek and that's when I realized he didn't love me back. By the time we got to Jasper's apartment my head was pounding and all I wanted to do was sleep. We fought a little more and Jasper said our relationship was toxic.
I wanted to laugh because there was no other way to describe us. We were toxic. My temper was wild, ongoing raging beast clawing just beneath the surface, while Jasper was a tyrant so strange and manipulative, cold hearted motherfucker with a lust for power.
But I loved him.
I left early that night so that I wouldn't get into any more trouble than I was with Carlisle. By the time I got home the house was deserted, everyone had already gone to bed. My head ached and my vision became obscure as I maneuvered my way through my house. Everything fucking hurt and it was hard to blot out the confusion. Moving slowly and carefully I climbed the stairs and went to my bedroom. The sickening feeling in my stomach returned with immeasurable pain lurching me forward onto the ground. I could barely breathe as rejection clamped tightly on my chest with unbearable weight.
I didn't sleep that night.
My eyes were wide opened as more thoughts of doubt crept silently into my brain threading through me like a weed. Its roots run deep and grasped at whatever logic and reason I had left. The medication that had been keeping me sane had me tittering closer to the edge more than ever before.
Crazed by my desire and all-consuming love for him; I needed to get a grip, to remind myself that Jasper was a human being and I couldn't make him love me.
Right?
No good could come from that and in due time Jasper will start to return my feelings. If not then then I would have to kill him. Some small part of me knew it was wrong but I couldn't bear the thought of him being with anybody else. The notion made my heart grow cold and I knew nothing in this world mattered. My alarmed buzzed and reluctantly I got up and dressed for school.
I spent most of the day trying to keep my eyes open. Exhaustion plagued my body and I seriously thought about ditching school for the rest of the day. At lunch time I watched Jasper pick up trash from a far. His hair was pulled into a tight pony tail and little stray ringlets framed his face. Catching my eye a few times he smiled softly and continued on with his work. The blue overalls, which would be very unflattering on anyone else, fit him perfectly showing off his masculine frame.
"Ed, man wake up," Ben laughed, nudging me.
"Bonfire at La Push Friday night, you going" Eric asked.
"No, why the fuck would I want to go there?"
"Come on, it'll be fun." Mike said, "You haven't been out with us in a while."
"Yeah, since you're grounded just sneak out man-" Tyler agreed.
"He's a fag that's why he doesn't come out with you." Bella snarled, she strutted towards our table with Lauren and Jessica trailing right behind her.
I felt my face flushed bright red.
"Edward, my dear Swan, is no fudge packer." Mike said sweetly. "He just hasn't found the right girl yet and for someone who has a gay best friend you are one to talk."
"Please Jacob doesn't give a shit about that. Okay, then answer me this Mike," Bella spat, placing a hand on the table she leaned forward exposing her small cleavage. "Have any of you ever seen Edward with a girl? I mean you guy's all hangout and fuck the same girls how come you've never seen Edward even look at a girl?"
"Just because I don't bang sluts doesn't mean-" I sputtered nervously.
"I didn't say sluts, I said girls Edward." Bella said briskly.
"Fucking whore! You better shut the fuck up before I beat the shit-"
"Wow, calm down, Ed. She's only kidding," Mike said placing a firm hand on my shoulder. Grunting I felt air being forced in and out of my lungs. The rage was brewing, due to my fatigue and disorientation I could barely think straight.
All I could see was red.
Violently I pushed Mike's hand away from me and stalked away from the table. Like thunder I angrily marched through the halls of the school and rounded the corridor towards my locker only to stop dead in my tracks.
My knees nearly buckled under.
A hand flew over my mouth to stop the sob that erupted from my throat. Moving quickly I retraced my steps and hide behind the wall. My eyes fluttered close and tears slide slowly down my cheeks. Gasping softly I tried to cling to whatever sanity I had left and there wasn't much. After a few minutes the bell rang and the halls filled with students hastily trying to get to their class oblivious of me dying inside.
My heart erupted in my chest.
If I were an angel I'd fly far far away.
Dashing out of the school I traveled with inhuman speed towards my car. Tears and pain. Tears and Pain. More tears and more pain blurred my vision and I could barely keep my eyes on the road. When I got home I tore through my house like a hurricane running towards my bedroom.
Self-loathing vomit curls in my throat and erupts from my mouth sending me hurtling towards the toilet. My mind is made up. The determination set in my eyes after I'm done puking my guts and crying my heart out. When everything is said and done I am left bleeding internally because I know what I must do.
I have to kill him.
Three days after the incident in the hallway I found myself standing outside of Jasper's apartment. The rain poured down and lightening light up the sky periodically but all I could think about was how I probably couldn't live with myself once I was done. Cautiously I advanced towards the front door using a credit card to let myself in. The house was completely empty so I made myself at home by sitting at the kitchen table waiting for my beloved.
I gripped the bat in my hand tightly.
Randomly I remembered when Carlisle had given it to me for my birthday. I was six years old and all I wanted to do was play baseball. All the other kids had wooden bats but Carlisle said that a metal one would last longer. Absentmindedly I played with the handle loving how the steel felt smooth and hard under my fingertips.
If only I had wings then I'd fly far far away.
The doorknob turned and opened. Jasper strolled in whistling under his breath, he walked right into the kitchen and turned on the lights.
"Jesus!" He jumped, placing a hand on his chest. "What the fuck Edward?"
"Sorry,"
"What are ya doing 'ere? I thought you weren't comin' over 'til tomorrow?"
"I had to see you."
"Oh," He smiled, "Miss me eh? Well, do I get a kiss?" Running a hand through his wet locks he walked over to me and placed a gentle peck on my lips. "Hmm, you smell good."
I stared at him blankly as he continued to assault my lips.
"Kiss me back," he chuckled.
I didn't instead I just glared at him. Pulling away his smile melted immediately and his face contorted into a frown. "What's wrong?"
Keeping my eyes on his I didn't respond.
"Edward? Fuck 'ave ya been sleepin' ya look like death," He mumbled.
"Why did you do it Jasper?" I said finally.
"Do what?" He asked, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.
I snapped.
Vehemently I slammed the baseball bat against the table. Jasper jumped ten feet into the air, his eyes were wide and he moved to stand in a defensive position.
"Why did you do it?" I repeated through clenched teeth.
"Edward, calm down, 'ave ya taken yer medication-"
"Fuck. The. Medication."
Placing his palms in the air he side stepped away from me. "Calm down now, put that away before ya hurt someone."
Fiercely I growled at him. "Don't patronize me. I know what you did Jasper! I saw you with him!"
"With who?"
Brutally I swung the bat sending all the items on the table flying. "With Peter!"
His eyes grew wide. "Shit, it didn't mean anythin' I swear Edward!"
Suddenly I was being transported back into the hallway and all I could see were Peter's hands desperately clutching the side of Jaspers face as they kissed passionately. Their tongues were mashed together and they moaned loudly trying to consume each other. The kiss and been beyond heated, mixed with desire and lust. The betrayal was deeper than any knife could penetrate.
Not because it was a kiss but because it was consensual.
Peter had defiled him.
And the most agonizing thing about it was that Jasper enjoyed it.
"How could you do this to me?" I asked weakly.
"Fuck Edward, put that thing down and let's talk 'bout this!"
"There is nothing to say. I told you if you were to ever touch anyone else I'd kill you."
Something animalistic possessed Jasper then he lunged forward tackling me sending the bat flying and pinning me against the wall. The wind was knocked out of me as my back connected to the wall.
"Yer one crazy motherfucker. Don't ya ever come in my house and fucking threaten me!" He spat gripping both sides of my head and slamming it against the wall. Feebly I pushed against him but he had me pinned, his shoulders were rock solid and unmovable. "This is the last straw Edward,"
His fist swung forward and smashed against my nose sending blood sputtering out of it. "I told ya it didn't mean anythin'" Gasping loudly I felt my eyes roll back into my head as the dizziness returned tenfold causing me to lose consciousness. "It didn' mean anythin' you fuckin' idiot and ya want to know why it's because I love you!" He screamed.
Releasing his hold he cupped both side of my face pressed a kiss to my lips. "I love you, Edward. I always have,"
Moaning I grabbed the back of his head crashing our lips together in a heated kiss. Growling he moved quickly gripped my thigh and hitching it over his hip as he began to thrust wildly. His tongue slither into my moist cavern and we battled for dominance while trying to consume each other. Nipping my bottom lip he groaned as he continued to inhale my scent. Tugged on my shirt he lifted it over my head, his callous fingers roaming my sensitive skin making me shudder. I ripped of his jacket earning a whimper of satisfaction when it hit the floor. I tasted blood mixed with tears and something else as we continued to kiss each other.
"Please say ya love me back Edward," He murmured quietly.
"I love you! I love you so fucking much-" His mouth collided with mine cutting me off completely. Searing heat and lust tore through my body and my dick was so incredibly hard that I could barely think straight.
If I were an angel I'd fly far far away.
Jasper palmed me through my jeans, giving my aching member the delicious friction it craved. Holding my hips he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Walking skillfully he carried me towards the bedroom laying me down on his king size bed.
"Jasper," I whimpered. "Touch me please,"
"Anythin' for you," He cooed, clutching my wet jeans and ripping them off my waist. Awkwardly my hands fumbled with his pants as I tried to get them off. I blushed when I caught him staring at me with a strange look of adoration. Smiling softly he tugged down his own jeans.
My eyes widen when his full manhood was on display. Virginally my legs close instinctively because Jasper was huge. The head of his dick was angry and red begging for release but it was his length that made my heart lurch. Crawling on top of me he settled between my legs, his fingers playing with my hair that rested flat on my forehead.
"How's yer nose?" He asked softly.
"Hurts," I mumbled, still in awe by his beauty.
"Don' ever doubt me Edward. I love ya, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." He said seriously, reaching over he grabbed a cloth from the side of the bed and delicately wiped the dried blood away from my face. Once he was done he beamed down at me and slowly traced my lips to my cheek bones.
Slowly all the tension left my body and I truly felt at ease. "Why did Peter kiss you?"
His fingers came to an abrupt halt.
Sighing deeply he explained. "Peter's had feelin' for me for a long time. It wasn't 'til when I came back did he 'ave the courage to tell me. Then he kissed me."
I hated to ask but the words were logged in my throat threatening to choke me. "And you kissed him back?"
"I'm so sorry Edward, he caught me off guard and-" His face twisted slightly. "I just-he's my oldest friend yah know? I owed it to myself to see if there were any feelings there…"
"Hmmm," I hummed satisfied with his response. "As long as you love me that's all that matters," I closed my eyes ready for sleep.
"I do, so much…Ya have no idea. Stay with me."
"Okay," I mumbled, my breathing already starting to even out. "I love you,"
"I love you too," He said snuggling into my neck.
If I were an angel I'd never leave land.
Alright things are going to start escalating very quickly! The best is yet to come ppl! Thanks to all who read and review. If anyone has any questions do not hesitate to ask:)
