Chapter Six

Cloud is still missing in the morning.

Part of me thought maybe, just maybe he would make it home before the sun set, but a part of me also knew that I couldn't hold him to words he had said just to appease Marlene.

It makes me angry. I think of what Tifa would've said, had she been here and he not kept his word. But Tifa, Tifa not being here is why he can't keep his word.

Marlene barely slept; she tossed and turned on her tiny cot. I saw her eyes glinting in the dim light from the hallway lights. It never seems completely dark on the airship. The first night she had slept outside, but the stillness of nature, the sounds of nature, were too unnerving for her. She had crawled back to the airship and slipped in her cot. The hum of the lights in the hallway, the gentle vibrations from the generators, the clunks and clinks as people moved around, soothed her to sleep that first night.

It makes my heart ache, but that's what being brought up beneath the plate will do to you. It almost did it to me even living on the surface, but the garden saved me. She'll get used to it eventually, I tell myself. I have to; I can see it hurts Barrett too that she can't sleep outside in a tent, but honestly even Barrett seems a little on edge by the lack of technology and modern life.

Currently we're seated beneath a lean to, maps tacked up to a cork board Cid dragged out of the airship. Our group has expanded some what since our original escape; all the people from Seventh Heaven, from Cid's airship, and a few other AVALANCHE members have arrived.

All we seem to do right now is talk. Talk about the next move. Where do we go from here?

Everyone's suggestions keep getting shot down. No one seems to be the leader, although half of us defer to Barrett automatically, and the other half to Cid.

"We can't stay here forever," Reno is saying, Rude sitting silently beside him with his arms folded over his chest. "They'll find us eventually. I mean, sometimes I think we should've just stayed in Midgar-

"Stayed in Midgar?" Biggs hisses. "Are you insane? After what they did to Tifa?"

Jessie nods her head in agreement. "They would've found us quicker there! They knew where we would hide."

"They didn't know about Cid," Vincent adds quietly. I'm surprised, he usually says nothing.

"They would've figured it out eventually," Barrett replies evenly. "Tifa's death would have put too much scrutiny on Seventh Heaven. We weren't safe there anymore."

"We were never safe there," Wedge says bitterly.

There a moment of silence.

Barrett nods his head as if thinking, and speaks again. "That's true...but there's a difference between what was going on, and ShinRa releasing a full blown SOLDIER on civilians."

"Do you really think ShinRa authorized that?" I ask. "I mean, citizens were already skeptical and wary of SOLDIERs. Do you think a manic one running wild on the streets, destroying property, do you think that would help them save face?"

"No," Godo says shakily. "But who else can protect them from their own monsters?"

Yuffie squeezes his hand.

Cid grunts. "They can't burn Midgar to the ground."

"They can burn enough of it so that the people will stay silent," Rude says softly.

"Well we can't exactly go after ShinRa head on, we can't stay here forever. What do we do? How do we fight back? Where do we fight back?" Reno asks. "We have to do something. We've got momentum. People will be on edge after this. Somebody has to do something, has to fight back even if it isn't in Midgar. Someone has to give them hope."

They sit silently, mulling over the places they had already suggested moving on to. Places with ShinRa presence, but all with protection.

"Corel," Barrett says fiercely. "I still say Corel."

"Too dangerous," Vincent shakes his head. "There's a small group of SOLDIERs there, stationed always."

"Gongaga?" Suggests someone I can't see.

"Same problem, but bigger," Reno says bitterly.

"We can't go to Rocket Town. If we start the rebellion there, they'll know it was me and Shera, and I can't put her in that danger right now," says Cid. "Not with junior."

"Mideel?" I say quietly.

"Fort Condor's too close. They'd send airships after us," Cid replies gruffly.

We sit in silence, it looms over us. There's no wind today, here in the bottom of the canyon. I glance towards the cool shade of the airship longingly. Marlene is there, helping Shera with her newborn. I had attended this 'meeting' hoping to feel more useful, but if anything I feel even less helpful than normal.

"The Saucer," a tiny voice says next to me.

I turn my head, as does everyone else.

"What?" Cid barks.

Yuffie clears her throat, Godo clings to her hand but she shakes him loose and stands. "The Saucer," she says again, with more conviction.

"The Gold Saucer?" Barrett asks skeptically. "You wanna go to an Amusement Park right now?"

"Well we could all use some fun," Reno smirks.

Barrett shoots him a warning look.

"No," Yuffie says, sounding like she's pleading. She clears her throat, and starts again in a steady, even voice. "The Saucer is perfect. There's lots of people, but they're all tourists. And from where? Midgar, Mideel, Gongaga, Corel. The word would spread fast if something happened there, and there's almost no military presence there. It's too far from Fort Condor for airships, and it's so far from any other military-

"By the time they got there, we would be long gone," Cid finished for her. "And they'd leave again, they'd have to go back to their outposts."

"And if they left any one behind, it'd be an easy force to overtake," Vincent adds. The mood is quickly shifting. It's hard to believe Yuffie was the one that thought of it, but it makes sense.

"But what would we do to Saucer? What's that going to do to Midgar and ShinRa?"

"Power," I say simply. "Saucer uses a ton of power, we hit their power plant."

"ShinRa gets a cut from Saucer as well," Vincent says softly. "It'd hit their profits."

"But what does that even do in the big picture?" Wedge snaps. "Put's some tourists out for a night? Make ShinRa loose a penny?"

"It'll make a statement. We can do a big flashy bomb," Reno grins maliciously. "They can see it at the Saucer."

"And we can make a hit at Corel, or Gongaga, wherever they send the forces from," Barrett exclaims. "Do the real hurt there."

"We've been to some of those bases," Rude says. "It's been a while though."

"Cloud would know," I say. "He could tell us where to strike."

It's like I popped a balloon. Everyone deflates, goes quiet. No one will meet my eyes.

Rude looks at me, opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. "Do you...think we can trust him?"

My jaw falls open. "Of course we can! Ask Barrett!" I gesture to him, I'm standing now. "He knows better than anyone how much Cloud wants revenge on ShinRa."

"I do know that," Barrett says softly. "But can he stay in control?"

"Stay in control of what?!"

"The mako," Vincent says.

It cuts through me like a knife.

"Of course," I say breathlessly. "Of course," but my voice is getting softer.

"Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to go psycho on them," Reno says soberly.

"But who would be collateral damage?" Biggs asks pointedly.

"No, no one," I say. "He...he wouldn't," but my voice sounds hollow even to my own ears.

"Maybe we should keep him secret, save him for something big," Reno says skeptically. "Does ShinRa even know we have a SOLDIER on our side?"

"Ex-SOLDIER."

His voice is so quiet I'm surprised everyone heard him. The conversation ceases immediately, and I turn around.

Cloud is standing in the shadow of a dead tree, his arms folded loosely over his chest, the hilt of his sword poking over a shoulder. His eyes are two blue halos in the shadows. I wonder how long he's been standing there.

Barrett swallows. "Cloud," he begins, unusually quiet. This tone of voice is usually reserved for Marlene.

"It's a good idea," he says simply. "And they probably think I'm dead," he adds flatly.

He moves from the shadow across the short distance to the lean to. In the sun i can see how disheveled he looks. He doesn't look like he's slept any, and there's dried mud smeared across his clothes and arms. There's flaky, dried blood on one of his forearms. I wonder if he wrecked Fenrir.

No one says anything, they wait to see if he has anything else to add.

"Who will build the bomb?" he asks.

Reno raises his head reluctantly.

Cloud nods his head.

"Cloud, maybe we should-

"I'm not going to attack any of you," he cuts Barrett off. "I'm in control, you don't have to worry about that."

"Is that what Genesis said?" Godo asks, and I'm surprised by the strength in his voice.

"Yes," Cloud says. "But Genesis isn't like me."

"What? Because you say so?" Wedge bites at him, then looks a little scared when Cloud shifts his gaze to him.

"No, because Genesis was given a different treatment. A stronger dosage."

"So that's why...?" I say quietly.

"No, Genesis might've cracked either way. But he was a part of an experimental round of Mako treatments."

"Was he the only one?" Vincent inquires.

Cloud shakes his head. "No, but he was the only one who showed those side effects."

"Who were the others?" Cid barks.

"Sephiroth, Angeal..." He looks at me. "And Zack."

I feel a little jolt of lightening buzz through me. I open my mouth but no sound comes out.

"They stopped, after what happened with Genesis the first time." He looks around at them. "I can draw up layouts of the bases. Reno should start on the bomb. We should pick a date to strike. We've sat still too long."

No one says anything, but Reno stands. "Right, boss."

Rude stands up too, "Highwind, what spare parts do you have?"

Cid nods, and leads them towards the airship. "Don't blow up my fuckin baby," he growls.

"Dude, we won't build it near Junior," Reno says.

"I was talkin about my ship."

It's a cue; everyone has started to break a part into different groups. Vincent and Barrett start speaking about strategies to infiltrate the power plant. No one has said Cloud couldn't go with them. No one has said Cloud shouldn't be involved in the planning. He walks over to Barrett, exchanges a couple words with him.

Zack was a part of a special treatment? What special treatment? Was he okay? When did it happen? It had to have been before I met him. I never saw any signs of anything like that...any sign of any type of mako madness.

Cloud walks away from Barrett, and I move, reaching him as he climbs into the airship.

"Cloud," I say softly.

He stops, and turns towards me. Up close he looks even worse; his eyes are shadowed with purple bruises, his cheeks hollow.

"I need to clean up-

"Cloud, Zack was...?"

His lips tighten, and he glances around, checking for eavesdroppers. "Yes."

"Did he ever...I mean, was he ever-

"Like Genesis? No."

I start to exhale in relief.

"And yes."

"What do you mean," I hiss softly. "Genesis is-was a murderer. He killed...for sport, he lost control."

"And Zack didn't do that," Cloud says gently but tiredly. "He never lost control, he never killed except when he had to."

"But how-

"Because it's always there. I know that's what you want to ask, really." I swallow, and he continues. "We all feel it, Aeris. It doesn't matter what dosage you have, it's still there. That's why so many SOLDIER candidates don't make it past the first injection. It's not just physical reactions, some can't handle the mental. Zack felt it, I feel it; it's like something is standing just behind you, like you can feel eyes on the back of your head, but you don't turn around. You don't look at it. You just keep going forward."

"Zack...felt it?"

"He didn't want you to know. He didn't want you to worry. He would never-

"I know," I say quickly, cutting him off. "I know he would never hurt me, but Zack was so...Zack."

Cloud nods. "Everyone handles it differently. Zack just let things roll off him, it was easier for him to ignore it when he stayed so light. It's different, for me. I...I have to stay level headed."

I nod my head, "Thank you, for telling me."

"You can't tell anyone, Aeris," Cloud says, his eyes suddenly bright. "They'll never let me go with them. I can do this by myself, but I can reach ShinRa quicker if I go with them. And I can help them. Maybe they all won't get killed so quickly."

"Of course," I say softly. "I won't tell anyone."

He nods his head in gratitude. "I need to clean up."

"Wait," I say, suddenly feeling bold and like I need to unburden myself. "Zack...those treatments, they stopped a long time ago, right?"

Cloud nodded his head, "As far as I know. It still affected him, them. They're the strongest of us. That's why Angeal was Zack's mentor, he had been through it before."

"And you?"

"I only had it once. Sephiroth, he was the one...but then Genesis happened in Wutai."

"Angeal, his son...Denzel, was he...was he born when Angeal was going through those treatments?"

Cloud looks taken aback. "I'm, I'm not sure. Aeris-

"But Denzel is a good kid...he's normal."

Cloud nods. "He is."

"You told me a secret. I'm going to tell you one now."

Cloud stares at me intently, I think he knows what I'm about to say.

"Cloud...Cloud I'm pregnant."