No Business like Show Business


The night was dark. There was no moon; there were only the streetlights that could guide a soul where they needed to go. However, a certain Nega needed no light whilst he lurked among the shadows of the alleys. He was very swift and agile in avoiding any sort of detection. Hunting was in his blood. This hunt would be fairly easy.

He took to the side of a dumpster to secrete himself from being seen by a youthful couple, the male carting home his drunken mate. Nega gripped his .44 Magnum and resumed his glide in the darkness.

During times like this, his mind couldn't think properly. What he only thought was the rewards he would reap afterwards. During times like this, he was sharp and focused. During times like this, he was a completely different person. Nega hated times like this.

He stepped in front of a door that was bathed in the light of a lamppost. He made sure no one was observing him, and slipped a black claw into the door's lock, and heard the audible click. He slowly pushed inside, peering around in the shade for signs of life. Nega slipped in the interior with no difficulty, thankful for his semi-slender build. His eyes could see through the dark, which was a mysterious trait he'd inherited long ago when he was first mutated by Cortex.

He moved without a sound from hallway to hallway, finally reaching a bedroom. He shouldered his way in, and saw a rotund figure latent in their bed. He moved to the nightstand, and narrowed his gaze coldly. "I don't even know how you can sleep, you worthless piece of shit."

The aged eagle jerked awake instantly, and stared up into the bright golden eyes Nega possessed. He was very tired and groggy, but was still shaken. "Who are you?" he asked in a gravelly voice.

Nega pointed his pistol to the large bird's face and twisted his mouth into a snarl. "Hello, Charlie. Remember me? The little bandicoot you left to die in the desert?"

"What?" the eagle inquired. "What are you talking about?"

"Think about it. Hard." Nega's finger began to slowly pull back on the trigger. Charlie panicked.

"Alright!" He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to remember something. Anything. "U-uh… Hrm… I-I don't—"

"Of course not," Nega interrupted. He ogled his enemy pitilessly. "None of you remember. Thirteen years ago to this day, you tried to kill me."

"Thirteen years ago? What the hell? How do you remember that? That was before any of us were evolved!"

"Oh, but unfortunately for you and the others who have wronged me, I have a severely good memory. Care to take a guess about what you did?"

"We were all stupid animals then, man. Give me a break! Survival of the fittest!"

"Stupid animals?" Nega shoved the butt of the Magnum to Charlie's forehead. "Are you telling me you've gotten so washed up with these human qualities that you couldn't remember my terrified face? I can recall yours. You were enjoying torturing me, taking advantage of how I had no one else left to protect me. I was a kid for God's sakes."

Charlie's eyes dimmed and he could suddenly memorize the events of the day many years ago. "Th-that's right… I can remember… but… that was so long ago… and you're still mad about it?"

Nega's mouth twitched with resentment. "You killed my family. You almost killed me." He inhaled deeply. "You're one of the reasons I became a monster. Goodbye, Charleston."

He pulled back on the trigger.


Kate had no desire to walk into the filthy female bathroom the bar had. Earlier that same evening, they'd told her it had had once been a unisex room; due to some of the actions that occurred inside, they had to add another one. She was actually thankful, but wished they had chosen the new one to be the women's room.

She stumbled stepping in. For one, the floor was several inches lower than the entire building's level. Secondly, she was in a pair of sleek black heels. Kate mumbled a profanity and continued her walk to the large mirror. There were multiple lipstick stains all over the sides in a variety of shades and hues. As she studied some of the squiggly scriptures written in eyeliner, she actually snickered at the few "I HATE MY LIVES", "JOHNNY'S A BASTARD", and the occasional "HAHA! I GOT THE BIGGEST TITS".

Suddenly, one of the three pale brown stalls opened. Out walked a familiar dingo female with a burning cigarette roosting between her bright pink lips. Heidi situated the thin straps to her bra and began preening herself. Kate felt rather awkward and looked down to the sink and made haste washing her hands to look as if she had a purpose there.

Then, Heidi smashed her light into the marble sink counter, and tossed the butt onto the floor. "You know, Kitty, I think you should pick up the habit. You already drink a little excessively. Why not smoke?"

Kate didn't know what to say to this older woman whose mind-set was just as ghastly as her flashy appearance. "My name's Kate. Plus, I want to keep my lungs healthy."

"Well," Heidi sniggered, "no use in that if ya liver goes to shit." She paused to collapse into a short coughing fit. "Bah. No wonder I can't sing anymore though." She smoothened out her blue rhinestone blouse and began to leave the restroom. She paused, and looked back at Kate. "Oh, and just because you're cute and all, it doesn't mean that you can take over my role. Your boobs are too small, your eyes are too dull—frankly, you're not very pretty."

Kate's mouth fell ajar in astonishment. She couldn't form a snappy retort for Heidi had already left. She was the only one left in the restroom. She looked back at her reflection, and sighed. The cruel woman had a point. She didn't belong in this place. She was surprised at how much she's had to go through to pass as "stage appropriate."

She took the elastic band from her hair and watched her hair tumble over her shoulders. "What am I doing here?" Kate murmured. She left the room, not feeling up to par. She walked through the red carpeted hall to enter her room again, but was stopped by a hand gripping her shoulder. She turned, and wasn't expecting it to be Pinstripe.

"You're on in ten minutes," he briefed. Her blatant mood swiftly changed to one of alarm.

"What?"

"I said ten minutes," he repeated intensely. "I expect you to remember what you're supposed to do." Kate was tripping over her own words trying to explain her nervousness, but, he left her presence. She was standing there, trying to figure out what to do next.

"Hello?"

Kate whipped around at the voice, still frantic. Then, she saw a girl who was standing behind her with a puzzled air. "What?" the former asked. She was surprised that this field mouse managed to be smaller than she was.

"My name's Mattie," she said with a little smile. "You're Kate Clark, right?"

"Yes… how come I've never seen you here before?" Kate asked. "I thought I met everyone."

"Well, I was sick for a couple days," she explained. "I've heard about you, though. Heidi told me about you."

"Heidi?" The redhead crinkled her nose disgustedly. "You're not friends with her, are you?"

"No, no. She said I was too… meek, and… gross." Mattie's head drifted down in gloom, but then perked back up again. "I think I can help you with your routine if you want."

Kate blinked. That was the first time she'd come across the word "help" ever since she'd gotten there. She swallowed and felt her cheeks getting hotter with embarrassment. "You don't have to, but I would appreciate it."

Mattie began explaining certain moves that would please whoever was watching. Kate wasn't very interested in the demeaning motions, but she had to learn. Time went by as they practiced. Before she knew it, Kate was being called to the stage by Pinstripe. Mattie wished her luck, and she stepped out onto the catwalk platform.

The first thing that Kate noticed was the neon pink lights pointed in her direction. The crowd in front of her consisted of a variety of species, but the numbers weren't that high. Pinstripe was sitting in a large chair in the darkest corner of the area, beady red and yellow eyes watching her intently.

"Alright," chimed a voice over the small intercom system, "here's our newest addition to our cast of lovely ladies here at the Ace of Spades!" Kate found the source of the voice and discovered that it was Marty, Pinstripe's lead lackey, who was speaking. "This is Kate, who will be our Wednesday and weekend specials! She comes from a land far away, and knows just how to please a man within minutes!"

Several guys who had been drinking suddenly eyed her more curiously. Kate felt the need to vomit. Marty continued. "So, without further ado, please give a warm welcome to this extravagant female!"

Extravagant? Kate was actually amused. They made her out to be a foreigner (which, technically she was), but to be extremely sexually appealing. It was atrocious, but she had to roll with the punches before she could get a way out of there. To make herself feel less uncomfortable, she began to imagine herself as an actress, just doing it for a camera. Unexpectedly, it became a little easier; she always thought it would be cool to star in a movie.

Pinstripe observed her silently. For once, something was different about this one. All of the other girls he possessed were all mostly hookers with bad attitudes and weren't very talented with their acts. This one was more… genuine. No, no… genuine wasn't the right word…

"She's something, ain't she?" Nega suggested as he stopped by Pinstripe's side. "If you ask me, I think she'll rake in the dough."

"Well, she might bring in more paying customers," the potoroo agreed, "but… Clark here will also get some people of her own."

"What, you mean she'll go into prostitution? I don't think so," Nega replied with a scowl. "That's for the rest of the sluts you have. This redhead's mine."

"Then you'll have to pay for her," Pinstripe chuckled. Nega laughed, and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Tell you what. I'll advertise for her. Free of charge." He sighed, and looked back at Kate. "The odds are… she won't relent to me anytime soon, so she won't to any other guy, even by force. We can't make her do everything. She'd purposely leave anyone unsatisfied. The only thing authentic we have here are her dance moves."

"I have to coincide with you there," Pinstripe answered. "But how are we going to get this place off the ground?"

"Easy," Nega shrugged. "We have someone make posters and we set them up all over town."

"Wait. Her iddly-diddly little boyfriend could get a hold of one of them."

"Nah. As far as I know—and trust me, I know a lot—Crash never set foot in Wumpa City. Usually, Kate or his little sister would only come here to buy groceries for that little house they call home."

"I don't know, Nega. It'd be awful risky."

"Leave it to me. I know what to do. Your bar will be successful in no time. Have Archie design a few photos and paste them everywhere. In the meantime, I'd like a cooler put in my little room so I can wake up to a nice cold beer in the morning."

"You got yourself a deal," Pinstripe grinned deviously, and shook his ally's hand. "So where were you all night?"

Nega leaned back on the wall composedly, and placed a toothpick into his mouth. "I was out on business."

"What kind of business?"

"Payback, if that's what you'd like to call it." He decided to change the subject. "I was also wondering… did you ever think of making her sing?"

"Hm? Sing?" Pinstripe inquired. "Can she?"

"I don't know. I say we try out tomorrow morning. Instead of having her be a whore like Heidi and the rest of the women here, we turn her into our own little celebrity. After all, I hear North Americans can hit it off with that kind of country stuff. She wouldn't have to be a sex toy and we could still benefit. What do you say?"

Pinstripe considered Nega's proposal. He supposed it could work. "Why not? It's time to try something new. I'm not gaining anything from the old ways of before."

Nega began to walk off, stripping off his trench coat and throwing it over his forearm. "Glad you could see it. I'm off to get some shuteye."


Sorry, this chapter is so short; I was eager to post it. However, the next one will be longer! Thank you to those of you who review my stories! :)