"What the fuck did you just say you old fart!"

"You need to calm down." Said an exasperated voice.

"I'm not listening to what you have to say you fucker!"

"Professor McGonagall this behavior just isn't to be tolerated in a school setting. Think of the children." Said Dumbledore who was sitting at his desk trying to push down the impulse to put his head in his hands. He deeply regretted giving the statue to her. To think it was his fault that a teacher started acting so brashly to even him when before she used to obey every order. He should have thought it strange that an impulse to suddenly give it to her would strike like it did for no reason. Before he gave anyone anything he always thought twice about their reactions. At first he wrote it off as him knowing that the woman was fond of cats though he later realized there was a strange and powerful compulsion on the object. Even after he dispelled all the enchantments it seemed to only take a stronger hold on the woman. What's worse was that one of the statues went missing and that he had given Neville, the poor boy, the other. He had yet to hear anything wrong and hoped to asses the situation during the school year. Speaking of.

"FUCK THE KIDS!"

"You can't behave this way, not in my school."

"Your school is a pile of shit bricks on a shit hill! That makes you the shit school headmaster."

"Then that makes you a shit teacher." The gleam in McGonagall's eyes made him wish he hadn't made the remark. He had hoped that regressing his language would help her understand but it wasn't working. He hat to try a different tactic before she went for her wand. "I will admit you to teach the students but there must be an enchantment that changes your language so it's clean. At least for the classes and around students. If I hear you've talked like that around the students you WILL be terminated." He knew he wouldn't actually do that. If he could reverse what had been done some way he would gain one of his most trusted followers back. Even though her attitude had gone off the rails she still had a desire to teach at the school. He just hoped it was her usual curriculum.

She seemed to think about his offer for a second and then spoke. "I want a scythe. Then I'll agree."

"What for?" Asked the headmaster with genuine dread and curiosity.

"Because I fucking want one!" She said as she crossed her arms. Dumbledore couldn't believe he was seeing a hooligan like McGonagall spouting curse words when before she had only spoken with the highest vocabulary.

"I'll see what I can do." Said Dumbledore in resignation. As long as it didn't cause any trouble he'd have to give into the dangerous creatures demands. Truly she did look like some feral thing when he had talked back to her, and he wasn't imagining it. At least she doesn't have it out specifically for anyone yet and had not actually attacked Snape even though she shouted enough obscenities to make him blush. (Not attacked aside from verbaly/mentaly. The scars would likely never heal in him or the others present.) Madam Pomfry had cleaned her mouth out with a soap spell when she walked in and also wasn't attacked except verbally. The incident will always be labeled Snape's weirdest nightmare.

While he was musing about the terrifying tale McGonagall took the time to slip away, an eerie smile on her face. When he realized she left he finally let his hand reach for his candy. He'd need a lot to lift his spirits.

Sorry I've had a writers block for a long time and other stuffs happened. I've deleted my other storied i didn't think i could continue so i didn't feel overwhelmed. (I'm pretty sure Dumbledore spikes his candy.)