Chapter: 7/24

Words: 478

Warnings: Reno POV, Attempted homicide

AN: these stories are mostly planned out, and I'm just having some fun with the short chapters. I'm planning on getting as many written today as possible so I can have some room to write my Yami stories at school. :3


Age Three: Return

We returned from the honeymoon and I was in such a good mood until we got home. Wehad nearly non-stop sex for two weeks, with a private beach off of our hotel room. I'd never had actual sex on the beach, only the drink usually, so I was extremely happy even if I got sand in strange places from it. I didn't mind all that much, really. But something that really pissed me off was that as soon as we got home, Rude wouldn't even notice my existence. He was immediately dialing Vincent to bring the baby over, and I became a thing of the past once more.

Once the little brat is brought back home, I sigh and reside myself to a shower. At some point, Rude comes in and tells me to watch Sugu for a second. I grin evilly and get out of the shower, pick him up and shove his head in the toilet. It'd be good if I could just drown him and blame it on him, right? 'He thought he could drink out of the toilet like a dog, but I didn't get to him in time!'

However, while I'm drowning him, Rude just happens to come back in.

"Reno, WHAT are you DOING?"

"Uh....giving him a bath?"

"...in the toilet?" He raises a brow.

"...I peed in the shower."

"You usually pee in the toilet."

"...I cleaned it?"

"You don't clean anything. If nothing else, you're better at making messes."

"...I had Vincent do it."

"He didn't come in."

"That's what you think."

"...Reno." His voice sounds firm and almost frightening; I think I'm in trouble.

"What? I didn't invite him in or anything, he flocks to me like a sheep...and I love sheep! They're so cute with their curly bodies and fluff and their weird penises..."

"...you looked at his penis?"

"What? No! I haven't seen him all the way naked!"

"All the way?"

"We went swimming together at the gym, that's all."

"'Swimming', eh? Was that the time you came home in bikini bottoms?"

"Uh...no?"

"Reno."

"Yeah...it was his idea."

"Reno, you're grounded."

"...what?"

"If you are going to act like a child, you will also be treated like one."

"So..you're grounding me?" Rude snatched the kid away from me; I had let him up by this time. Actually, his head shot up when Rude caught me.

"Yes. You're grounded. I've already removed all of your toys and porn from the bedroom, and you are to stay in there until further notice."

"What? What am I supposed to do without my porn!?"

"I left all of Suguru's Barney tapes in the bedroom in case you get bored."

"You MONSTER!"


AN:Alright, I was playing around with this idea with Jess, and I thought that it turned out well. :3 Reno loves to dig himself into holes, but he always forgets the ladder to get himself back out. D: Oh noes! On to the next chapter!