Anyone reading? Thoughts? Opinions?
This chapter gets a little intense.
Storm Stories
Blocking it Out
Shannon and JJ had set off on their career adventures just over a month ago. Ravyn had been absolutely struggling to run the school herself. Their shows were far less frequent now. Her ribs were almost healed enough for her to be back in the ring. But her heart wasn't in it like it had been before. With her boyfriend and best friend hired by the country's two biggest companies, she just didn't care anymore. She hadn't heard from JJ since she had left. But she knew that her schedule was hectic. Shannon called every night before he went to bed and most mornings when he got up. She missed him terribly. Waking up in their bed every morning alone was making her realize how much she loved him. She regretted not telling him about the baby, but she felt like that was the right thing to do. If she had somehow caused him not to go to WCW she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.
She watched from outside of the ring as two of her students worked on some moves. She let them try to figure it out themselves before talking them through how it was really done. They learned quickly and were soon working through the spots fluidly. She told them that they were done and headed back to her office to check the schedule. She almost dreaded teaching her next group. It wasn't that they were bad students, she just didn't feel like it anymore. She had to force herself to go out to the ring for her next session. She leaned on the apron as her group warmed up. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find Brian, who was in town visiting for a few weeks.
"Why don't you let me take over for a while," he suggested. "Take a break from wrestling for a bit. I'm here for a couple of weeks."
She sighed, "Thanks Bri. I guess it's pretty obvious that I don't want to be here."
"Yeah," he nodded. "I picked up on that."
Ravyn turned from the ring, walked to the office, grabbed her keys and left the arena. At first she headed home, then realized how lonely home had become. She drove around town hoping something interesting would happen. She couldn't stop thinking about Shannon. Every place she passed reminded her of him. She just didn't know what to do with herself anymore. She finally headed home and settled down for the night. Shannon called a few hours later.
"Hey hun," she tried to sound happy.
"Hey beautiful," he responded. "Clear up your schedule for the next week. You're flying down to come hang out with us for a few days. And if you're up to it a couple of vacation days after that."
"Really?" she asked in disbelief. "I need to get out of here. And I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. I can't wait to see you," he told her. "I called the arena first. Brian answered, he said you haven't really been yourself lately."
She paused, "Yeah, I think I need to take a break for a bit. I'm glad I'll actually be away."
"Well, I'm happy I got the okay to take you with us for a while," he admitted.
"Me too," she sighed with relief.
They talked for a while longer discussing plane tickets and travel plans before saying goodnight.
*****
Ravyn's plane landed in California just before ten AM. She grabbed her bags from the luggage claim and walked to the gate. Shannon was waiting for her just outside of the security line. She dropped her bags and went running into his arms. He picked her up and twirled her around carefully, not wanting to hurt her. She kissed him happily as he set her back down.
"Have you thought about where you want to go for vacation?" he asked smiling.
She nodded, "How about Wildwood? It's far enough away from everything."
"It can finally just be us," he grinned.
She let a smile creep across her face, "I can't wait."
"Then that's what we'll do," he promised. "Let's go find Shane and check into the hotel."
She followed him through the airport until they found Shane sitting near a window thumbing through the latest Green Lantern issue. When he saw them coming he got up and put his comic away. He hugged Ravyn and the trio headed to rent a car. Shane was picky about his rental vehicles and went thought all of the options before making a decision. Ravyn and Shannon sat outside on a bench while Shane did the paperwork.
"So where do we go first?" Ravyn asked.
"Hotel," Shannon smiled. "Then we need to be at the arena by three. Nitro goes live at four."
"Are you guys on tonight?" she wondered.
Shannon smirked, "Sure are. But no laughing at us okay?"
They watched Shane walk past them on his way to find their car. "I wouldn't laugh at you guys," she giggled. "I think you look cute in your 3 Count gear."
"Liar," he kissed her. "You just like our singing."
She grinned, "Oh you know that's my favorite part!"
"When we sing," he put his arm around her. "I think about you."
She kissed his cheek, "You might be the liar now."
Shannon protested mockingly as Shane pulled up in their rental. Ravyn deposited herself in the back and they were on their way to the hotel.
*****
Ravyn had a great time hanging out with the WCW guys for the next couple of days. She really enjoyed most of the crew in the locker room. But she was more happy to finally be on vacation with Shannon. They checked into a little hotel a few blocks from the boardwalk and headed to the beach. They walked along the water holding hands and just enjoying being together. They laid on the beach for a while before heading to the boardwalk to ride some rides. Ravyn's ribs were starting to feel better so they could goof off a lot more than they had in the past few months.
The next day as they were getting ready to go to the beach Shannon's phone rang. "What's up Cham Pain?" he answered. "Oh yeah?... that's awesome dude... yeah I'll let her know... have fun man... yeah give me a call... Later man." He looked over at Ravyn as he hung up the phone. "Marty just got hired at ECW," she said trying not to upset her.
She swallowed hard. "Good for him," she almost whispered.
He pulled her into his arms as a tear slid down her cheek. Softly he kissed her forehead, promising her that everything would be alright.
*****
Days later Ravyn was back at the arena, back to moping around. She taught once in a while. Rarely made an effort to work out, except when Brian forced her to. It was almost like Brian and Eddy were her babysitters. She started drinking frequently, and not trying to hide it. She showed up almost every morning hung over. It was obvious that her depression was getting out of hand. She headed home before the sun even went down, leaving Brian and Eddy to close up. She paced around the house with a bottle of vodka in her hand, swigging from it every couple of steps. As the bottle slowly drained and her walking turned to staggering, she found herself in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the tub with a bottle of prescription pain pills in her hand. She couldn't think straight anymore. She took another swallow from the vodka bottle. For the first time in her life she wanted it all to go away. Nothing was right anymore. She had never felt so alone. She popped the top off of her pills and emptied them into her hand. The tears rolled down her face as she made her decision. As she raised her handful of pills to her mouth her phone rang. She contemplated not answering, but changed her mind.
"Hello," she answered quietly.
"Hey babe. How's your day going?" Shannon asked happily.
At the sound of Shannon's voice she dropped the pills into the toilet. "Better now," she said, instantly sober. "What's up?"
"Marty just called me," he said excitedly. "And you should be expecting a call from Paul Heyman in the next few days."
"Really?" she stammered.
"Indeed," he exclaimed. "But I have to go for now. Call me in the morning?"
"Of course," she promised. "Thanks for letting me know. I love you."
"I love you, too," he said before hanging up.
She flipped her phone shut and sank to the floor of the bathroom. She couldn't hold back her tears any longer.
Paul Heyman did call a few days later. He asked Ravyn to be in Philadelphia for their next tv taping. She hit the gym hardcore until she left for Philly. Upon arrival at the ECW arena she introduced herself to all of the boys. Marty, Christian York and Joey Matthews were there so she had people to hang out with. She didn't end up working the show, but she got to see how everything worked in ECW. Paul asked her to work the next string of house shows and tv taping in the northeast. She was excited to finally be on the road again. Even if she just ended up being a manager in ECW, it was better than nothing.
She traveled with the Carolina boys, mostly so she could drink and not have to worry about driving. As thrilled as she was about the job, her mind was still not clear. Not a day passed that she didn't think about the baby that could have been. What could have been the start of the family that Shannon so badly wanted. It was tearing her up inside. She knew that she had to tell him eventually, but she didn't want to hurt him. The crazy mixed thoughts she had on the situation kept her returning to the bottle. And after every show she would go out with the boys and party to forget about it. What had started out as drinking away her problems soon turned into partaking in whatever the drug of the night seemed to be. She was out of control.
A week later they were doing a tv taping in Poughkeepsie, New York. Ravyn wasn't booked on the show, but was in the back partying with the boys. She was sitting around a table playing cards and drinking when a few pills were dropped on the table in front of her. Each of the others soon had some too. She kept playing and set them aside for later. The game continued until one of the guys was out of cards. She scooped up the pills and prepped her drink to wash them down. As she was about to pop them into her mouth a hand stopped her.
"Scotty tells me you've been like this for a week and a half," a familiar voice said sternly. She turned around to see Brad Cain, Lodi, looking down at her. "I think we need to have a talk."
"I don't really think we do," the liquor spoke for her. She tried popping the pills again, but he smacked them out of her hand and sent them skittering across the floor. "What the fuck dude?"
"Don't cop an attitude with me, missy," he said standing her up. "Get your bags. We're leaving."
"No, I'm not," she argued.
Apparently she had no choice in the matter as Brad picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. He grabbed her bag and walked out of the venue. She fought him every step of the way, kicking and screaming. He tossed her bag into the trunk and leaned her up against the car. She tried to go back inside, but her drunkness just caused her to stumble into Brad and fall back against the car.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Are you trying to kill yourself? What happened to the Ravyn I worked for?"
Reality hit her harder than she had anticipated. She felt the first tear roll down her cheek and there was no stopping it after that. Right there in the parking lot she told him everything. Her jealousy towards Shannon and JJ, the baby and her near suicide attempt. He pulled her into his arms as she sobbed through her jumbled thoughts. He let her finish and helped her into the car.
"I already told Paul you were done," he explained. "Let's get you home." She nodded and let him drive her the two hours back to Albany.
*****
The next morning she woke up with a pounding headache. She got out of bed and dragged herself down the stairs. Brad was in the kitchen making breakfast. She sat down at the table and tried to make her head stop throbbing.
"Thanks for last night," she said, clearly embarrassed.
He looked up from the eggs he was cooking, "That's what friends are for."
"Really," she paused. "You probably saved my life. What the hell were you even doing there?"
"I came to visit Scotty," he told her. "And when I got there he told me that you were out of control. Really, he saved your ass. Not me." She nodded in recognition. "Shannon should be home soon. I called him after we got home last night." A look of panic flashed over her. "I didn't tell him. I just said that you really needed him here and that you weren't yourself."
She swallowed hard, "I really have to tell him. I didn't realize how much it was hurting me not to."
"You'll be okay kid," he assured her as he put their plates on the table in front of them.
They ate in silence, and when they finished Brad headed out. She thanked him again and went to take a shower before Shannon got home. She walked out of the bathroom toweling her hair dry. She walked down the stairs and looked around. The house was a mess. She began cleaning up the path of destruction she had left in her wake. She was still cleaning when Shannon came in the door, looking worried. He dropped his bags right inside the door and walked up to Ravyn, hugging her tightly.
"Please tell me you're okay," he begged.
"I am now," she said honestly. "But I wasn't before." She sat down on the couch with him next to her. He went to say something, but she held her finger up to his lips. "Let me get this out before I lose the nerve," she sighed. "When I got hurt it was more than just my ribs. I didn't know it at the time, but I was pregnant. And I lost the baby when Joe kicked the shit out of me."
The look of shock on his face was tearing her up. "That fucking bastard," his voice wavered and she could tell her was heartbroken. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
She looked down sadly. "I didn't want to hurt you. I thought I could handle it myself. But I just didn't know how bad it would be," she admitted. "And I know how bad you wanted a family. I didn't want it to ruin your job with WCW. I thought it would be better if you just didn't know. And not telling you was the worst plan ever. I've just been in a ridiculous downward spiral since Joe showed up again. I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for Brad... he saved my life. Literally."
"Let's promise not to keep secrets from each other," he said puling her onto his lap and wiping a tear from his eye. "I've got the next couple of days off. But I think you should come on the road with me for a while. They need someone to run the locker room and you could help with the kids doing dark matches."
"But what will I do about EwCw?" she worried.
He thought logically for a moment, "Close it down for a bit. I think it needs a break. And so do you and your workers."
She nodded in agreement. It was settled then. She would go on the road with Shannon and let EwCw go on a break. She was ready to make the change. She never wanted to be in the place she was over the last few days. She was ready to let herself start to enjoy life again.
