Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I do not and I never will own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow.
Okay people. I brought my computer to my grandparents house with me. We're all good in the western front...for a couple of days.
Sometimes A Hug Isn't Enough
Chapter 7
Mikkal
"Dogs! That was amazingly...awful," Gustavo barked like the alpha male himself. "What's with you today?"
"Sorry Gustavo," Carlos said, fiddling with his helmet.
Kendall placed a supporting hand on the swaying Logan. "We didn't get much sleep last night. My sister was...homesick."
Okay, that was a lie. Katie was everything but homesick. Logan,on the other hand, was real sick and his nightmares were worse then ever since his worn out body was forcing him to sleep. Two weeks since he admitted to Kendall about the nightmares and the not sleeping and about his mom.
Gustavo gave him a look saying he didn't believe a word he said while Kelly looked at the pale teen in concern.
"Do you wanna lay down for a bit, Logan?" She asked, bringing a motherly hand to his forehead to feel the heat just pouring off of him. No one missed the way he stiffened at the touch.
Normally Logan would shake her off and say he was fine, this time he nodded mutely and made his way over to the white couch. Worrying everyone greatly.
He fell on it, throwing his arm over his eyes. Sweat ran down his face in rivers and his breath hitched, sounding very painful.
"Logan, are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor?" James asked, bringing up the argument that allowed Logan to come to rehearsal today. They tried to get him to stay home, but he refused and managed to convince Mrs. Knight to let him go.
"I'm sure," he croaked. "It's just a little cold, nothing to worry about."
Too late.
"Are you ready yet?" Gustavo said, a few decibels louder than an indoor voice. He backed down when Kendall glared at him and Kelly smacked him on the arm. He knew when to choose his battles.
Logan groaned and sat up despite the protests of the guys and Kelly. "I'm ready," he announced before standing up and immediately collapsing onto the ground in a heap.
They were too stunned to attempt to catch him. Once it registered Kendall shot forward and pulled the smaller teen into his arms.
"Logan." He tapped his pale cheek. "Come on, Logan, wake up. Don't do this." He's never actually seen someone pass out without a physical injury to back it up. Seeing Logan look so normal, like he was sleeping, only scared him more.
James already had his phone out and was calling 911, talking frantically to the dispatcher. Carlos was kneeled next to Logan, brushing his fingers over his sweaty forehead.
"What's wrong with him?" The youngest one asked.
He bit his lip. "I don't know." I don't know! I don't know! Damnit!
James crouched down. "An ambulance is on its way." He looked at the leader with pleading eyes. "Is he going to be okay?"
I don't know!
"I'm afraid I can't tell you anything," the doctor told them, flipping through his clipboard.
"What? Why not?" Kendall demanded.
He sighed. "I need a..." he checked the clipboard again. "Nancy Fletcher here to give permission to say anything who isn't either listed as Next-of-Kin or family."
"Aren't those the same thing," James muttered.
"Nancy?" Kendall asked in disbelief. "She's a family friend! Not related at all."
"She's listed as his Next-of- Kin."
Kelly cut the blond teen off before he could blow up. "Nancy's in Minnesota, I'm his second Next-of-Kin."
Carlos stared at her. "What?"
The doctor checked his notes and nodded. "Kelly Wainwright?"
"Yes." She provided some ID.
"Okay," he said simply. "Logan Mitchell is suffering from extreme exhaustion and malnourishment. We want to keep him here over night for observations and he can go home tomorrow. Whenever you're ready, he's in room 201." With that he walked away.
James watched him go, speechless so Kendall took the words right out of his mind:
"That was it?" He exclaimed. "He had to make a big deal about Next-of-Kin and all he had to say was two things! He could at least say how he was doing!"
Carlos tugged on his arm. "Come on, let's go. I want to see if he's actually okay."
He relented and allowed the younger boy to pull him down the hallway, James not to far behind.
The taller teen leaned over and whispered. "Why is Nancy his Next-of-Kin? I understand his mom, but what about his dad?"
"And why Kelly?" Kendall whispered back. "Why not my mom?"
James could only shrug.
Logan was a horrible sight. His skin was ashen gray and his cheeks were hallowed out just enough to tell that they were. Bag hung heavy under his eyes and pure exhaustion clouded the chocolate brown.
"Why weren't you eating?" Was the first thing Kendall said. "I mean, I understand the sleeping thing. But the eating?"
He grimaced. "I just haven't been feeling hungry, guess I've been too tired to eat." He wasn't avoiding anything...that was new.
"Why didn't you talk to us?" Carlos asked, grabbing his pale hand. "We would've helped."
"Not much to help Carlitos." He patted his helmet covered head. "If I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry. You can't force me to eat."
"Why not?"
"Do you want me to puke?" Logan asked rhetorically. His answer was silence. "I thought so," he said smugly.
"Fine, on to less pressing matters," James decided. "Why is your family friend your one to call and not your dad? And why is Kelly the second and not Mama Knight?"
Logan's eyes grew hard. "My dad's in Minnesota," he said, voice steel. "Nancy forced it on me and then forced Kelly."
Kendall clenched his hands into fists. "Okay, that's it. Logan, tell me what's going on!" He demanded.
"No."
His mouth dropped opened. "W-What?"
Logan glared at him. "You may be older than me, and my brother and best friend, but you can't force me to tell you anything I want to keep secret."
"It's killing you!" James exclaimed. "It's killing us!"
"It's not killing me," he replied lightly. "It's just hurting me. There's a difference."
"That doesn't make it any better," Carlos informed him.
"No, no it doesn't." Logan fiddled with the IV trailing to his arm.
Kendall looked at him closely, trying to pulled down the temper flare rising in him, and flicked his ear.
"Ow! What was that for?" Logan exclaimed.
"You're an idiot."
Logan glared at him. "How so?"
Kendall sighed. "Whatever you're keeping a secret we're not going to judge you or dump you. I mean, obviously it's something big, or else it would've slipped out sooner. But we won't see you differently."
He scoffed. "Yeah right, that's what they all say."
"But we're serious," James said. "You know we are. We don't keep secrets, remember?"
Yes, he remembered. He knew almost everything about them. Kendall's dad leaving when he was nine and Katie was three, and how he's still guilty thinking it was his fault (it totally wasn't). The pressure James' mom was pushing down on him to take up her business in the cosmetics company and how much he was suffering under the weight. And then Carlos' lack of a proper identity because his family was so big that no one got the attention each of them should really have.
He knew everything about them and they knew nothing about him.
Not really fair, don't you think?
Logan refused to meet their eyes, too busy thinking over what they said. It's true that they don't keep secret...but maybe this secret was too much for them. Surely they would leave him if he ever told them, why not save all of them the hurt and never tell them?
But...
He looked up and saw Carlos' hopeful, caring eyes. James' eagered but concerned look. Kendall's protective and fiery gaze.
It's been months since they became friends. Almost three months since they came to LA, six months since Logan moved to their town. That's almost nine months all together. Most were surprised that the boys were friends with the new, quiet kid, but they didn't really care. They just knew that Logan was everything. Just like Carlos was everything. Kendall was everything. James was everything (even Katie was close to everything).
They were everything to each other, but Logan still had his doubts...
