The Note
Mary Ann sat at her dressing table writing feverishly. She stopped for a second, looked over and addressed Ginger. "If you're planning one of your sweet, syrupy desserts for tonight don't bother. Duke's on a strict high protein diet. I've pulled out all my best fish recipes and planned out the entire menu."
Ginger, sitting at her own dressing table, couldn't have cared less. She was busy writing as well, but the only dish on that menu was going to be her.
"I'm not concerned about dinner Mary Ann. In fact if you want Duke's stomach you can have it. I'm concerned with certain other of his body parts."
"You're not really going through with that plan you devised this afternoon…are you?" asked Mary Ann
"Of course I am. Why if it wasn't for deals like this a young actress would never get a job in Hollywood."
The bashful brunette blanched. She'd often got the feeling Ginger had slept her way to the middle of the movie industry, but she'd never heard her admit it so plainly.
"…oh and by the way," added the gorgeous Ms. Grant, "you may want to make yourself scarce tonight since I'll need the hut."
"Eeew, Ginger, do you have to that here?"
"Well I would suggest the boys hut, but while a 'swing in the hammock' makes for a good euphemism it isn't really functional. As for the beach, that might seem romantic, but you know how sand tends to get into every nook and cranny…"
"You can stop right there," cried Ms. Summers. "I don't need to hear about your nooks or your crannies!"
Ginger smiled at the pained Pollyanna. "Sorry, honey, but this is the only free hut with a bed. Of course you could always join the party, but you need to tell me now. I mean three's a crowd unless you choreograph it right."
The blood rose to Mary Ann's face like mercury in a red-hot thermometer. Ginger simply chuckled at her discomfort and put the finishing touches on her note to Duke. Sealing it with a bright lipstick kiss and then spraying it liberally with her signature scent.
As she wiggled her way to the door Mary Ann recovered enough to ask, "How will I know if you're here or not?"
"Well you could always go by the old standard 'If this hut's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin''. But in case we're taking a little breather I'll do what my roommate and I used to do in college- hang a man's tie over the door handle. I don't think I have a tie, but I'll put a scarf or something out to warn you honey."
Embarrassed Mary Ann just wanted it to be all over. If Ginger's plan did work she resolved to head right back to Horner's Corner as soon as they were rescued. A place where this type of thing was repressed like it should be she thought.
"Oh Ginger I don't know whether to be angry or to thank you for this?"
"Like I always say Mary Ann, 'Don't hate me because I'm beautiful'," said the curvaceous crooner. "But by the same token there's no need to thank me. I mean it's not like I'm seducing the Skipper here."
Ginger laughed a little too hard for Mary Ann's liking and slipped out the door note in hand. Meanwhile Mary Ann tore up her menu and put away her recipes. It appeared the only fish on Duke's plate tonight would be Red(headed) Snapper.
No sooner had Ginger dropped off her note and started for the designated rendezvous than more intrigues began surrounding it than the Zimmerman Telegram.
Duke was the first to come across the missive propped up against a candle on the table in the boy's hut. What he proceeded to read would have been all he could have hoped for the day before, but now he was skeptical.
He'd just returned from a long jog meant to clear his head, but it had only left him with more questions. Were Mrs. Howell and Gilligan scheming to get him on the reverse tsunami? What of the supposed relationships between Ginger/Professor and Mary Ann/Gilligan? Why did they seemingly rekindle then fizzle out so quickly? Was that also some kind of ruse? And why did Ginger reject him yesterday and beckon for him now?
Duke chalked some of this up to his self-professed irresistible desirability, but others matters were more troubling. Specifically he was thinking of Ginger's biological time bomb as the playboy in him referred to such matters.
Babies were the exact kind of entanglement a womanizer like Duke avoided. But was Gilligan being truthful? He couldn't be sure he was getting a straight answer from Ginger and to figure it out would take more than the 18 or so hours he had till his only chance to get off this crazy island, the reverse tsunami, passed by.
Of course that still left Mary Ann, but while Duke wasn't adverse to a frivolous fling with the farm girl he had already pegged her as a good girl; the type that needed a week of love notes and hand holding just to give up first base. Duke Williams, however, was no Punch-and-Judy singles hitter. He swung for the fences with every pitch and usually connected. So there was no sense in trying to "manufacture a score" as they say in baseball parlance when the next day's giant wave would carry him home a hero to wagonloads of worshipful, willing wahines.
That decided it. Duke was determined to forget these kooky castaways, hop the tsunami and be in Hawaii fighting off chicks like Colonel Sanders in a henhouse in less than a week.
Next up was Skipper. He and the Professor hadn't come up with a plan to change Duke's mind and despairing of ever doing so he had returned to the boy's hut to grab some more things for what was looking like an extended stay in the Hinckley Home.
The second Skipper entered his old hut his libido came alight from a smell that always caused lusting in his loins…Ginger's perfume. Instantly he came across the source crumpled in a ball on the table. From out back he could hear what he assumed was Duke in the men's shared shower so he quickly opened the note and began reading.
Later in sadly recounting the contents to the Professor the only word he was sure of was "proposition". After all he'd spent a year on the island hinting to Ginger that he'd be more than happy to "prop" himself up in any "position" she desired to no avail. Then Mr. America surfs up and in only two days he's living Skipper's dream.
That aside the Skipper thought this note called for immediate and decisive action. The tsunami rescue was as good as dead he concluded so he made an on-the-spot decision to break his promise and reveal to Duke the alternate rescue plan the Professor shared earlier.
"Hey there Admiral," said Duke surprising the Skipper. The latter then used his considerable bulk to shield surfer boy as he subtly returned the note to the table.
"Duke we need to talk…man-to-man," said the Skipper wheeling around and taking on his most serious tone. He noticed Duke had showered and shaved as if he were heading out on a date. He had also squeezed himself into a pair of Gilligan's jeans and t-shirt out of which he bulged in all the places that would make a young lady take notice.
"Sure, pops. I had something I needed to tell you as well."
Had he been aware of the Howell's scheming Skipper might have yielded the floor. Instead he stood his ground dead set on getting everything out in the open once and for all.
"Now, listen, Duke we're both men of the world here so I'm well aware of what you're after," started Skipper aggressively. "You and the girls are all adults. If the two…ahem…or three of you want to fool around that's none of my business. But you can get us rescued and as Captain of the Minnow I can't let you pass that up."
Skipper paused as the idea of provocative propositions, clandestine kanoodling and…good God…ménage a trois had caused his brow to get wet and his mouth dry. He did, however, have Duke's attention and the rippling Romeo was content to see where this might lead.
"I wasn't supposed to tell you this," continued Skipper, "but there is another rescue option besides the reverse tsunami."
"You don't say," replied Duke, eyebrows raised and starting to think nothing these people told him was what it seemed.
"The Professor says the big waves that precede typhoon season are strong enough to at least carry you to the shipping lanes. From there a ship is bound to spot you and we'll be saved. That comes 6 to 8 weeks from now. I figure that gives you plenty of time to get your rocks off or knock yer socks off or whatever you kids call it these days. So have your fun now because when the typhoon waves come I'm not taking no for an answer…Now what did you wanna tell me?"
Duke reached up and ran a hand slowly through his perfectly tousled bleach blonde hair. He still thought something fishy was going on. His first instinct was to take the first wave home, but then he considered Ginger and Mary Ann. A more pulchritudinous pair was be hard to come by and the prospect of scoring with one or even both simultaneously was a notch he'd like to have on his board so to speak. This new revelation now gave him the time he needed to get to the bottom of the Ginger situation and even work on courting Mary Ann. It wasn't his usual way of operating, but he deemed the potential payoff worth it.
"Uh, you know, Pops it was nothing," stated the athletic Atlas. "Six to eight weeks should be plenty of time. I think I'll head out now. I've got something to take care of."
"I'll bet you do," said the Skipper suggestively as he watched Duke take off for what he assumed was a rendezvous with Ginger. He was about to add "don't do anything I wouldn't do", but as a wave of jealousy rose up inside him he realized that, quite frankly, was impossible.
As usual Gilligan was last to get the message and when he did it took him awhile to wrap his head around the implications.
His immediate reaction was one of anger and revulsion that Ginger would so blatantly throw herself at Duke and ruin the rescue. Slowly however it dawned on him that it was just Ginger and not Ginger and Mary Ann together referenced in the note and suddenly the cloud of frustration he'd been under since Duke arrived began to lift.
Gilligan was aware he knew less about women than anyone save, as he recently learned, the Professor, but he did know they didn't like to share men. Once it became clear Duke and Ginger were an item it would leave the door open for him to make his long awaited move on Mary Ann. Not only that, but with the rescue dashed their stay on the island would be extended which was fine with Gilligan. It would keep Ms. Summers away from Horace Higginbotham and any other suitors that might come out of the woodwork. Additionally, though he told no one, Gilligan liked island living. For a boy who enjoyed swimming, fishing, climbing trees and spending lazy afternoons on the beach it was a paradise; and now with Mary Ann back by his side for good it would be Heaven.
He started to wonder if Mary Ann already knew about Ginger's overture. He'd hate to be the one who had to break the news to her, but in his new more aggressive mind-set he realized sometimes a man's got to do some dirty work to get the desired result. Besides, he concluded, he'd be there to soothe and console her. Then he'd profess his love for her…and finally he'd take her in his arms and kiss her long and deep just like she was hoping he would that morning.
That he didn't know how was a concern, but as he headed out the door he figured he'd just press his lips against hers and let nature take its course.
"Nature, hmmm," he mumbled to himself. "Maybe that's what Skipper's been talking about. Though I don't see how a bird could kiss a bee…Ouch!"
Sorry MAG shippers…in next chapter we'll see if Gilligan seals his relationship with Mary Ann with a long, slow, deep, wet kiss that lasts 3 days as Crash Davis said in "Bull Durham"…Thanks for reading.
