WOW! this has taken ages! but it's finally done. i'm so sorry about it taking so long. i have had a mammoth project to do for university...but now it's finished! i just hope i get a good grade :S... so anyway...please review, and thankyou for everyone who has remained faithful lol x x x V x x x
/;/;/;/;/;k/;/;/;y/;/;/;o/;/;/;/;/;/;/
Everything is going to be ok.
Because this is all that should matter. The fact that I get butterflies every time I see him, or even think of him. Because, I knew then, that nothing I felt was going to change, no matter how much I wanted it to. I would feel this way whether I wanted to or not. So I had to face it. And decide what I wanted to do with it.
/;/;/;y/;/;/u;/;/;k;/;/;i/;/;/;/;/
I sat, looking at the things I had grown, strawberries for tohru, leeks for kyo. Or maybe, leeks to annoy kyo. I smiled thinking of the cat. I wished he was there with me, even if he was kicking and screaming at me for being so sick. Which was quite likely. Suddenly I realized I was still crying through my smile. Because no matter how much I convinced myself that it was all going to be ok, I knew, that really it wasn't. I had found myself completely infatuated with my male cousin. It was disturbing me, so I could not imagine how I was making kyo feel.
The only thing I ever wanted more than Kyo, was to live outside of the main house, and I got that, I lived with shigure, and then, I found myself, selfishly wanting kyo in the same way, well, you cant get your own way all of the time.
I looked down to the earth I was kneeling on. It seemed to halt my thoughts for a moment. Before it all came back, and my tears began flooding. Like rain, another thing the cat hated.
/;/;/;/k;/;/;/y;/;/;/o;/;/;/;/
Everything is going to be ok.
So when I look out of my window at the orange sky, and I think about him. I feel suddenly complete. I realize, that I need to let him know how much I feel for him. Even if there was a little bit of me that clung to the idea of it being wrong. But I had been suddenly enlightened by that sky, something completely organic and warming, and I knew that it was time.
I was a mess, I had been crying, and maybe I slept, I couldn't figure out anything, but I knew I needed to sort myself out. I headed for a shower, washing away my dried tears. Washing away the past, the words, and trying to welcome the new feelings I had discovered.
As the water ran over me, I realized, that these things I was thinking, were not quite like the old kyo. Who would never think about anything so rationally, and so in-depth. Perhaps seeing that sunrise really had altered me. I didn't know. Probably never would either.
I dressed myself, checking I looked ok. I mean, I was on my way to confess my love here, I didn't want to look like I had just fallen out of a bin. I didn't bother to comb my hair though, which I noticed when I left the house. But before I did that, I looked around, still unaware that yuki had left. It was tohru who told me, as I tried to carelessly drop his name into the conversation.
The secret base. I ran, faster than your average human, thanking any god who would listen for that training in the mountains.
;/;/;/;y;/;/;u/;/;/;k;/;/;/i;/;/;/;/;
I didn't notice kyo, when he stood behind me, I was so lost in thought, in my tears, that I didn't hear him coming.
/;/;/;/k;/;/;/y;/;/;/o;/;/;/;/
I reached the secret base, and found him on his knees beside the leeks, crying, hysterical. I wanted to go over there, and take him into my arms, hug him so tight that he wouldn't be able to breathe, a real hug, without anyone transforming, I wanted him so close that I woulc whisper how I felt for him, as if the trees and the plants could not know what I was saying to him, because it was too special even for them.
But I couldn't, seeing him like that, knowing it was my fault, it glued me to the ground I stood on. My breath hitched in my throat, as I tried to say his name, sweetly, but with conviction, although, all that came out was a breathy whisper.
"yuki…."
His head shot around, and he looked at me horrified.
"kyo….please…no…I cant take anymore shouting….please, I promise I'll leave you alone. I wont even look at you, I know how wrong and horrible I am, so please, don't say any of those things again..please"
"yuki…" I slowly managed to walk over to him, so I was above him, and he flinched, I felt ashamed. I dropped to my knees.
"yuki….you aren't wrong…you aren't horrible" it was still a whisper, but he heard. He looked at me, and when our gazes met, the glue that had been holding me back, disappeared completely, and I did as I had wanted to. I took him into my arms.
"you aren't horrible….I….I think…I love you too"
