The next day, Hermione had just finished her breakfast when a small parade of professors entered her cubicle. Once again, the hospital wing held Professors McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore and well as Madam Pomfrey, and this time Hermione was awake to see it.
She chewed her lips and placed her mug of coffee onto the table as she tried to pull herself into a more elegant position on the bed. She'd remained propped up during the night (apparently for her breathing) and with a light above the bed (in case Madam Pomfrey needed to help her with a seizure). While she was feeling better than she had in awhile, and had slept soundly despite the notable lack of aid, she was still frizzy with bed hair, and dressed in pyjamas. She also felt clammy from sweating during the night.
"Good morning," she greeted them warily.
Her head of house smiled kindly. "Good morning, dear. How are you feeling this morning?"
"Much better, Professor. Thank you."
"Excellent!" Dumbledore clapped his hands cheerfully. "In that case, with Poppy's approval, I would assume you may go back to Gryffindor tower soon. Rest today, and then back to classes tomorrow, I should think!"
"Albus!" The mediwitch snapped. "Unless you have your healer's mastery, you can allow me to make the plans for Miss Granger's discharge."
Severus smirked.
Hermione frowned at them, confused by their apparent battle of wills. "I feel fine, Madam Pomfrey, really."
"You may feel fine, Miss Granger, but that's not to say that you'll be symptom free. I would prefer you to stay under observation for another 24 hours."
"Poppy," Minerva asked softly. "Were there any issues overnight?"
The healer sighed. "Everything was as well as could be expected overnight. She had two small seizures that I monitored, but she didn't require any assistance with. Seizures should not be underestimated," she added, glaring at the Headmaster. "Particularly in reference to patients in withdrawal from sedative drugs."
"Can you not give her anything for seizures?" The Headmaster asked, twinkling charmingly at the unaffected witch.
"No I cannot! Miss Granger does not have a condition prone to causing seizures, and her body should have only the bare minimum of potion input for the time being. She will stay here, under my observation."
Dumbledore's face became serious, gaze flicking between his colleague and his student. Hermione stared him down, while Poppy looked furious.
"This is not open for discussion, Headmaster."
Albus nodded, and inclined his head towards Hermione. "I hope to see you looking better soon, Miss Granger."
Hope to see me return to Gryffindor Tower, more like.
"Thank you, Headmaster."
He left slowly, in his usual calm manner, but Hermione saw the stiffness in his shoulders, and the slight clenching of his firsts. The two Professors that remained looked to Poppy, who gave them a few minutes to speak to Hermione should they wish, while she sorted through some paperwork and restocking duties.
"Is there anything you want to tell us, Miss Granger?"
She shook her head. "I believe Professor Dumbledore spoke to you?"
"Yes, dear. And I really am glad that this has come to our attention and you may begin your recovery here, in a safe place. Should you have too much difficulty adjusting, I'm sure we'll be able to escort you to some support groups and such."
Snape snorted. "Like the Headmaster would allow such a thing."
"Severus, the girl needs help!"
"And Dumbledore needs to keep a good reputation of the school, or he will lose his position here."
"Surely you can't be suggesting that-"
"You know it as well as I do, Minerva. The public knowing about a drugs scandal at Hogwarts school? The addict being an ally of Potter's no less? Faith, not only in Dumbledore, would wane quickly. Can you imagine the impact this would have, or are you as naive as most of your house?"
"Addict?" Hermione gasped, before realising that she had said the word out loud. Both Professors turned to look at her, McGonagall looking sad while Snape looked inquisitive. "I didn't- I- I didn't think that-"
"Of course Dumbledore told us, my dear," Minerva spoke soothingly. "The more people who can help you, the better."
"I think I need some rest." Hermione smiled faintly, internally screaming with tumultuous emotion.
"Please, do come to me if you need anything."
"I will, thank you Professor."
Minerva turned to Professor Snape, who waved her onwards. "I need just a quick word with Miss Granger, if you wouldn't mind."
She frowned, but went ahead. "I'll be in my office, Severus."
When the door closed, he looked the Hermione, eyes narrowing. "Is Dumbledore correct?"
"Sir?"
"Are you addicted, Miss Granger? Or is there another reason why you would take three doses in one night?"
Hermione swallowed. "Sir, I. I wasn't intending to kill myself, if that's what you mean."
He arched a brow. "Now, where would you get the idea that suicide is what I meant?"
"Did-didn't you?"
"No, Miss Granger. I am simply asking if there is another reason why. How long have you been taking it?"
"Since I came back to Hogwarts," she whispered. "Things happened that I'd rather not dream of."
He nodded. "I understand. You know of occlumency, I trust?"
"Yes, sir. Harry told me about his lessons." She shifted nervously, looking to her hands. "I wouldn't want…"
"I wouldn't need to look at any of your memories, Miss Granger. That wouldn't be the purpose of your occlumency at this stage?"
She frowned. "Then why did you with Harry?"
"He needed a short course, as it were."
"How would this help me dreams?"
He took a seat. "If you clear your mind, as an occlumency practice, then success can have you either clearing your mind of conscious dreams, or simply guiding them into something less upsetting."
"Are you sure this would work?" she asked hopefully.
He nodded. "I have, for periods of my life, required dreamless sleep myself. I find occlumency now to be far more effective and far less dangerous."
"And you? You'd be willing to teach me?"
"I wouldn't have brought up the subject if I wasn't. I will let you know when we will begin, once you have recovered." He inclined his head, and rose to leave.
"Professor!"
"Yes, Miss Granger?"
"The comments on my essay. Did you mean them?"
He scowled at her fiercely. "Every word. Innovation wouldn't exactly kill you, and might save you from being a boring swot."
She flushed. "I meant about the potions. If you're not expecting them to work, why are you keeping hold of them? Shouldn't we all brew them again?"
"The point of this potion isn't success, Miss Granger. Hazard a guess as to why?"
She chewed her lip. "I guess there's more value in knowing why something is done wrong, rather than just following directions to do something right."
He nodded. "And when you each do your self evaluation of your potions, I expect you all to be able to analyse where you threw it out of the cauldron and into the fire. This is NEWT level work, Miss Granger, and anyone who receives a NEWT would be able to apply for a potions apprenticeship. I will not have anyone taking on sub-par students from Hogwarts School. Anyone who fails to meet my expectations, NEWT gained or not, will not be receiving a letter of recommendation. Not even if they gain an outstanding."
She nodded. "Understood. Thank you, sir."
He inclined his head once more, and billowed out of the Hospital Wing.
Hermione stayed two more nights in the infirmary, through Poppy's sheer determination rather than Dumbledore's permission. Minerva visited a couple of times more, and Ginny and Neville spent as much free time with her as possible. While Dumbledore spoke only to Poppy, Severus Snape did not appear to return at all, the only sign of his presence being a couple of recent journal publications that had been left on her bedside table the morning after their discussion of the felix felicis.
There was no note, of course, however Hermione knew that if Professor Snape was providing information, then she was expected to study it well. She would make sure she had gleaned everything possible from the two sources before returning to potions, and the journals to Snape.
She took notes of the points of interest in each one, and circled areas that she would need to look into fully before he had a chance to question what she had gained from reading. It was this that led her to the library the afternoon that she was released from Poppy's care. As usual, the library was mostly empty, only a couple of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs choosing to study there rather than take materials back to their dorms.
She went to the potions section, and forewent any books that had been on the recommended reading list, as she had not only already consumed them, but she doubted that these would impress Professor Snape in any way, shape, or form. Other professors were delighted in her rounding out of the course content, but Severus Snape would expect all of his students to have studied them (not that anyone other than Hermione and Draco had). Instead, she looked for some of the more obscure texts, and focused on the newer ones, remembering his words on the older tomes. Having narrowed the selection down to a mere three that could be useful to her, she then went in search of journals. She had not spent much time in that area of the library in the past; no one had really spent time there.
The shelves were clean, but untouched compared to the rest of the resources. Everything was perfectly neat, in order, and nothing was pulled out halfway as if hastily returned to its place. Hogwarts had a copy of every single issue of potions monthly, and Hermione pulled the 3 most recent ones from the shelf before squirelling herself away in a private corner. Hours passed without her realising, until the lamps had been lit, and she had filled almost a whole muggle notepad with colour coded and indexed notes. She gave each page a number as she passed it, updating her bibliography and index as she went. She was smiling grimly, and reaching for the final book in her pile when the Headmaster approached.
"Miss Granger, I would speak with you in my office, if you would."
"Yes, sir."
She slowly gathered her texts together, sending the ones she had read back to their places, and taking the final book over to Madam Pince to check out. She woman eyed her suspicious, as she always did, as she stamped the book. She hated for books to be removed from the large room, and Hermione couldn't really blame her.
She'd seen the state of Ron's textbooks.
Picking up her bag and other items, she followed Albus Dumbledore from the room. He walked swiftly towards his office, not turning to make conversation with his companion. He gestured for her to ascend the staircase first, and then closed the door behind himself.
"I think we need to have a little chat, Miss Granger. Have a seat."
She sat down warily, perched on the end of her seat with her bag tight in hand.
"Lemon drop?"
"No, thank you."
He twinkled at her a moment longer, and the silence became uncomfortable. She swallowed.
"Sir. Why did you tell them that I'm a drug addict?"
"Can you truthfully tell me you aren't?"
"I'm not addicted."
'You've been taking it daily, in high dose. You had an overdose. You believe that the habit is entirely under your control.. Does that not seem like an addiction to you, Hermione?"
She flinched. "It isn't an addiction, Headmaster. Simply a necessity at current."
"A drug is always seen as a necessity to those who are addicted. As such, I shall ensure that you don't have access to any further supply."
"But you were the one to give me the supply that I had."
He stroked his beard. "Did I? I don't remember handing you such a thing. Of course, I am getting old, my dear…"
"It was in my room."
"Ah. Must have been an oversight on my part."
She flushed, angrily. "How could you even say such a thing without discussing it with me first?"
"Would you have rather I told them of the circumstances that brought you back to Hogwarts, Miss Granger? I have told them no lies, only omitted that which you wished to keep secret. Would you like them to be told?"
"No!" She yelped. "Absolutely not!"
He sighed. "Then you see why I'm in a bit of a bind, Miss Granger. There is no way I could explain what led to your use of the potion, without telling them the nature of your attack."
She sneered. "Oh, so they wouldn't believe that I've seen torture and murder? That I've almost faced death myself?"
"No, my dear. All of us believe you to be incredibly strong and mature for your age. It would have to be something incredibly drastic to affect you, my dear. You've always been, I find, much more logical and level headed than your peers."
She quieted then, sitting slightly straighter and wiping her eyes. She was the smart one. She was the logical one. She wasn't prone to outbursts. She could control herself. She would control herself. A few breaths later, the Headmaster spoke.
"Now, would you like to know the purpose of our impromptu meeting?"
Hermione blinked. "It wasn't to talk about the… incident?"
"No, my dear. I believe we agreed upon your arrival, that you would be doing some research to benefit the order and, most importantly, Harry."
Harry. Of course. Most importantly Harry. She stiffened once more.
"Of course, if you don't feel up to fighting for our cause, I can always find someone else to take on the duty, but I do have to admit that I hoped it would be you. You are one of the more intelligent members among us."
"I'll do it." Hermione insisted. "I can do it, and I will. I will do whatever I can to help while at Hogwarts."
"Excellent, my dear. I would like you start by reading a book. This book must be kept hidden from all other students, and you may use the chambers that you held during the holidays to study it at your leisure. This book is extremely rare, and cannot be found in the Hogwarts library. For now, I would like you to keep all information you gain from it to yourself."
"I understand, Professor."
He reached into a desk drawer, and removed a black leather book, with purple filigree. He handed it to her, and she placed it in her bag after reading merely the title: Secrets of the Darkest Art.
