I should really stop spewing chapters like that. But I can't help myself.
There might be lots of errors here, I dunno, but you are free to point them out to me =)
Thanks for all the kind reviews, your are awesome.
Enjoy!
In Your Eyes
Chapter 3: whichever way i go
Spock found himself curled up underneath his bed in the morning. Furrowing his brows, he crawled out from beneath the dusty space and stretched his sore muscles. This had never happened before, why would he fall asleep in such a demeaning position?
As he made his way to the bathroom, he thought back. Jim had not spoken to him at dinner, merely to Caator and Mother. Understandable, if one considered the way Spock had acted towards him before they had been called down to eat. Jim probably thought he was too dangerous to even consider opening his mouth to.
Spock stepped into the shower and adjusted the temperature. He could feel how the control over his emotions slip more and more each day. Contemplating whether or not Jim was safe to stay while he was around, he turned off the shower and dried himself off quickly.
The mirror above the sink reflected a face he barely recognised. His eyes were almost black, the skin around them was slightly green and the dark circles beneath the lower lids made him look even paler. He gripped the sides of the sink tightly. He was Vulcan, he had to be in control constantly; this was unacceptable
Spock dressed slowly, before he stepped out of his room.
Jim stood frozen in the hallway in front of him, one hand raised as if to knock. Spock lifted an eyebrow tentatively. "Morning, Jim."
Jim's arm fell back to his side and he let out a heavy sigh, before a relieved smile spread over his full lips. "Good morning, Spock. Are... are you feeling better? I tried to give you some space, since I clearly made you uncomfortable yesterday, uhm..."
Spock's side ached with painful guilt. Jim had only been trying to help him. "I am well. I... I must apologise for the way I treated you, I should not have reacted in this way. It was unbecoming for a Vulcan."
"Well, good you're only half-Vulcan, then.", Jim winked and jerked his head towards the staircase. "How about we go down and eat some breakfast, I'm starving."
Spock raised the second eyebrow. He sometimes wondered how Jim managed to eat the amount of food he ate. Amanda had always urged Jim to eat, because he was rather malnourished as a child. But even though Jim ate like a starved le-matya, in the end he had stayed 5.9 inches smaller than Spock and barely escaped being called thin. Mother still had hopes that Jim would grow some more but Spock did not care either way.
"Very well, let us go.", Spock clasped his hands behind his back and waited until Jim had bounded onwards to the stairs, before following him at a leisure pace.
Mother was standing in the kitchen, hands resting on her hips as she stared at the empty cupboards which usually burst with food. "Oh boys, we have to go to Shi'kahr, I got barely enough left to make breakfast..."
Jim chuckled faintly. "Alright. Do we get to eat what's left, before we go, or...?"
"There's some milk and plomeek broth lfrom yesterday, if you like."
"Awesome."
15.3 minutes later, they were seated in the dining-room, finishing their improvised breakfast.
"Jim, you are never going to learn how to eat plomeek without getting it all over yourself, hm?"
"It's hard okay, I'm sorry, this thing pretends to stay on my spoon and then randomly drips off! It's like a curse or something.", Jim whined.
"You are merely taking too much soup onto your spoon-"
"Shut up, Spock, it's a curse, I know it is!"
Spock suddenly had the distinct urge to let his head drop onto the table in exasperation, but refrained. It would be rather illogical and probably quite painful. "If you say so, Jim."
Mother chuckled. "Alright you two, if you are finished, put your dishes in the sink and get ready."
12.2 minutes after they had done so, Mother ushered them into the hover-car. Jim started humming halfway to the city and Spock was unsure whether or not he was annoyed by it. Deciding it was more aggravating than pleasant, he gently nudged Jim's arm to stop him. He got a sheepish smile as response and a warm hand that rested briefly on his clothed arm.
Silence fell over them, before Jim turned to look at him. "Hey, Spock?"
He was speaking very quietly, throwing cautious glances towards Mother sitting in the driver's seat.
"Yes?", Spock whispered.
"Nobody knows about us melding, right? Not even the Healer?"
"I have shielded these particular memories and thoughts from the Healer; he could not have seen them without breaking these shields forcefully."
Jim smiled. "Okay."
Spock nodded. They had kept their frequent melds a secret, since it was not something a Vulcan did with another if they were not bonded. Jim and Spock had grown accustomed to share minds at least once a week for they found that it helped relieve the stress Spock brought with him everytime he returned from the Academy and kept Jim's night terrors at a minimum. Sometimes however, they just did so because it felt right.
Shi'kahr greeted them with the soft murmur of a Vulcan city. Those who already roamed the streets did so with the relaxation of having had a well rested night.
Jim had pulled the hood of his sand-coloured robe over his blond hair, shadowing his face. Spock watched Jim's usual transformation from the loud, brash boy he was at home to the stoic man he pretended to be in public. It always unsettled him how Jim's bright smile vanished and his face became expressionless, leaving his eyes dull and grey.
They strolled down towards the market, Spock kept close to Jim, perturbed by how often somebody rushed past him or accidentally brushed his arm. He had never noticed before.
Jim turned his head slightly towards him. "Are you alright?"
"I am adequate."
Jim inclined his head to acknowledge his answer, but did not speak again.
They let Mother walk about the market, following her dutifully as she bought groceries. As they stood by a fruit stand, Jim took a step backwards, surprising the person passing behind him and causing them to collide. Spock reacted without thinking, pulling Jim forwards against himself, before Jim could fall, while he glared at the other man. The stranger blinked, looking mildly surprised beneath the broad hat he wore, before he left as fast as he could without seeming hasty.
Jim rested limply in his arms, head pressed against Spock's collarbone. "Spock...?"
He only just kept himself from purring in reply. "Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"You were about to fall.", Spock adjusted his grip on Jim.
"Yeah, but I'm fine now, so why are you still holding me? Not that I have anything against it, but you're usually not that touchy-feely.", Jim lifted his head and his eyes sparkled with a mixture of mirth and confusion, chasing the grey away that had settled there.
Spock let him step back, but kept a hand wrapped around Jim's elbow.
"You can let go, Spock, really."
No, he could not.
"Since you seem to be unable to walk on your own, I deem it necessary to assist you."
"You just want to embarrass me, admit it, you smug Vulcan.", Jim quipped, the edges of his mouth curling up just slightly.
"Illogical.", Spock answered and looked up.
Mother was staring at them with pensive eyes, her mouth somewhere between a smile and a frown. It confused him; what was she thinking about?
Jim shook his head and fell quiet. He did not brush off Spock's hand, for which he was grateful; he was unable to even think about letting Jim go, but he could not figure out why he felt like this. Maybe the hormonal confusion his body was going through urged him to latch onto someone to anchor himself and it just happened to be Jim, because they were already close.
Yes, this must be the reason.
They left Shi'kahr 2.3 hours later, returning home to the outskirts of the city. Mother had refused to live in the centre of Shi'kahr to avoid the constant looks she was given while Humans had still been a rare sight on Vulcan back then and, of course, to escape the press. Apparently, no matter what planet one would visit, the thirst for knowledge and the fascination for the richer people's lives where always present. That was why the First House had moved to a more secluded place, soon followed by the Second and the Third, after they had noticed that it was easier to keep their privacy and their secrets this way.
After the groceries had been moved into their respectable places, Jim took Spock outside to sit in their usual place beside the small pond at the very back of the garden.
The blond had lain out on the soft grass, staring at the glass doming above them, shielding the precious plants from the harsh sun by filtering the heat and UV-radiation. Spock wondered if the garden had been build simply for his Mother, because he could not picture his Father tending to any kind of plant.
Spock sat beside Jim, legs crossed as he watched the Human stretch his arms high above him, back arching off the ground, before he relaxed and slumped back as if every bone had been removed from his body, leaving him sprawled out carelessly.
"Hey, Spock."
"Yes?"
"Do you think we will still be friends after... after you're bonded to T'Pring?"
Spock contemplated the question, ignoring the tight feeling in his chest. "I see no reason why we should not stay friends."
"Because you're going to have other, more important things to do; you're probably going to move out, build your own family."
"Jim, you will always be a part of my family, just like my parents are."
"Of course, I'm going to be the cool uncle to your children. I'm going to teach them everything I know."
Spock almost shuddered. "I do not know what is more disconcerting. That you have thought about T'Pring and I having children, or the fact, that you intend to teach them."
Jim laughed loudly; Spock watched the dimples form on his cheeks.
His shirt had slipped upwards, exposing the flat expanse of his abdomen. Three freckles sat just above the jutting hipbone and Spock gave into the urge to touch the smooth skin they blemished. Jim jolted slightly, drawing a hissing breath through his teeth.
"Damn, Spock, you have ice-fingers, at least warn me!"
Spock pulled his hand away again. "I apologise. I have never noticed the constellation of darker pigmentation upon your abdomen before."
"Yeah, well, it's not like I run around top-less all the time.", Jim grinned.
Spock blinked slowly. "Indeed."
Jim's face softened and he reached out a finger, pressing it against Spock's wrist in an innocent, childlike gesture of affection. "I'm going to miss you, you know?"
"I am not leaving, Jim."
"I know. But it feels like you are.", Jim closed his eyes and rolled his head back to face the sun. "No more lounging around in the garden like this, no more late-night chess games, no more following me whichever way I go, just because you can and know it annoys me to high hell, no more mind-melds... now tell me you are not going to miss me..."
Spock lowered his head. "It cannot be helped, but... yes, I will miss you too, Jim."
Jim smiled a tiny, pained smile and only then Spock noticed that Jim's long lashes were wet. A single tear squeezed itself from between the shut lids and trailed down the tanned cheek. Spock wiped it away gently, thoughtlessly staring at the moisture left behind on the knuckle of his forefinger.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm such a baby."
"Illogical, you are not an infant.", Spock answered automatically.
Jim giggled. "Yeah, yeah, we both know that you're just pretending to be too logical to understand the stupid things Humans say."
"That would mean that I was lying. Vulcans do not lie."
"Half-Vulcans do, apparently.", Jim's eyes fluttered open, they were still covered in a wet sheen, but they were smiling. "I wish we could stay here like this forever."
Spock refrained from commenting, instead, he stretched out his legs, watching as Jim scooted closer to place his head onto Spock's thigh, before reaching out blindly, to grasps Spock's arm.
"Meld us."
"Jim; we are outside, somebody could see."
"Just ten minutes, please."
Spock sighed. Ten minutes with Jim never just meant ten minutes. He gave in to Jim's plea nonetheless. Spock placed his fingers against the meld-points on Jim's face and they fell into the meld with practised ease.
They were on a swing-set that was seated on top of a high cliff. Beneath them was an endless, black chasm and the sky was painted with the sunset's colours. Raindrops fell upside down, dripping upwards from the dry ground and shooting towards the almost cloudless expanse above them.
"It astounds me, that you are still able to remember the way these human contraptions looked, Jim."
"I loved them, when I was a kid."
"I know, you have told me quite often."
Jim's smile was radiant. "You probably think they're super illogical."
"They are, but they amuse you.", Spock cautiously swung forward.
The sunset in the distance turned a shade darker, the first stars began to appear on the firmament. Jim sighed softly. "I will never get used to how fast the time tends to go by here."
"Indeed."
Jim started kicking back a little more, swinging higher, the wind blowing through his hair, while the raindrops soaked his clothes. Spock watched him quietly, before turning his gaze back towards the horizon. A ship sailed across the sand on the other side of the abyss.
"We have to return now, Jim."
Jim nodded and looked at Spock, stopping the swing by planting his bare feet on the ground. He reached out for him, standing up. "Come on then."
Spock gripped his wrist and let himself be pulled over the cliff's edge.
Spock's eyes blinked open. The sky above them had already turned orange with the impending sunset and as Jim sat up dazedly, he noticed that the back of his clothes, where they had been resting against the grass, where slightly damp.
"Oh, it's gotten really late... this is so weird.", Jim shook his arms a little, most like to dispel the stiffness that had accumulated there during their meld.
Spock got to his feet, gently grasping Jim's elbows to pull him up. He had to steady the younger man for a moment, for Jim started to sway as soon as he was vertical. "Whoa... man, I should have eaten something; these mind-melds take a lot out of you. Oh, and since I'm talking about eating, we should go back, Amanda probably made dinner already."
Jim's assumption turned out to be correct. Mother was already waiting for them, the table had been prepared and Father was seated in his usual place, nodding silently at them as they entered the dining-room.
Spock sat, watching Jim plop down on the chair on the opposite side. Mother piled the food onto their plates; too much for Spock's decreased appetite, but he knew not to worry her.
They ate in silence; Jim kept his eyes lowered, as if he did not dare to look at Spock. A toe poked his shin and Spock saw the tiny grin curling Jim's lips.
He carefully returned the nudge and focused his attention back on the vegetable lasagne. For a moment, he just sat, staring at the food, before he mentally shook himself.
He reached out for the water-jug, at the same time Jim had decided to. Their fingers brushed, sending a jolt up Spock's arm. He stood abruptly, startling Jim even further. Their eyes met for a second, Jim's blue pools bright with something Spock could not place.
The next second he found himself running from the room and up the staircase, trying to ignore how his blood had flowed south.
This is probably the oddest chapter ever. I'm working on the fourth already, because I'm afraid I might catch the highly contagious writer's-block-flu...
