Disclaimer – (Walks out in army attire including medals) Alright troops.
We don't own anything, UNDERSTOOD! (Elves also in army outfits)
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
You will not take any and I mean ANY credit for the making of the film, do
I make myself clear!
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
And we did NOT write the book! A great man named Tolkien did, and we give
total credit to him and only him (and possibly Peter Jackson for the movie)
UNDERSTOOD.
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
We DO own Trinity and Jasmine, but that's not the point is it?
YES DRILL SERGENT!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
YES
DRILL SERGEANT!
At Ease!
GUESS WHAT!
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Do not try this at home... maybe at school.
Remember peoples this is book/movie/my mind combined ok, so in the
movie they are there for like a day after the council or something and then in
the book they are their for about 2 months…so I'm going to sum it up in Oh
about a week! So no one can get all choppy about the timing and stuff.
Real Identity Issues
"Right…anyway, small bag of Caramel Popcorn…keep that for later, nail polish…black…what am I doing with black nail polish? Is this yours?" She asked Jasmine, who shook her head in response "eh, mine now…let see, lint…ewwwww…OH MY GOD!"
"What?" Everyone yelled looking at her too see if she had been attacked or what.
"PIXIE STIX" She said clutching a handful of colourful tubes to her and rolling around on the ground.
"Ronald OH RONALD…WHERE IS RONALD?" Trinity hollered as she made her way down the elven hallway, continuing her search for Lord Elrond. Any elves that did see her tried their best to avoid her; it wasn't until Elrond came out and gave her a stern look that she stopped.
"What is all this yelling about? And who is this Ronald?" Elrond said guiding her into his office chamber. She sat down on the chair in front of his desk and crossed her legs Indian style, which is quite comfortable way to sit on chairs; I'm sitting like that right now!
"Oh silly, silly Ronald, not even knowing your correct name…the reason I was calling for you is that I know that you know that I know what we are going to encounter and I was wondering if we could please be assigned weapons" Trinity said quickly and sweetly but with an evil smile as Elrond considered her thought.
"Hmm well, Mithrandir had faith in your abilities and I have come to accept his…interesting way of thinking, so I see no real harm in allowing you two young ladies weapons" Elrond said coming out of his deep thought. Trinity shot him a bright smile as Elrond stood up. "Why don't you accompany me to the weaponry and we'll find you some weapons" he said offering an arm to her.
They made their way through the maze of elvan hallways and after a few trips, mainly on Trinity's part; they made it to the weaponry where Elrohir and Mirathyl were re-loading their quivers for the hunting trip they were going on that afternoon. They bowed deeply to Elrond and hugged Trinity…well they had no choice really as she had propelled herself at the two unsuspecting elves.
"My Cheesy Dumplings how are you this day?" She chirped letting go of the two confused elves.
"Err…we are…umm…well" Elrohir stuttered trying to regain his bearings.
"That's nice…OHHH shiny" Trinity said bouncing, literally, over to the elven swords hanging on the wall.
"Yes, these elvan swords have seen lots of battles, they are an excellent weapon" Elrond said picking up a sword and twirling it expertly. Trinity clapped at his trick but lost interest as soon as she saw some twin daggers on the wall. They were a lot like Legolas's except for the handles, which were a glossy blackish with a tint of dark green and purple in it and the blade had delicate leaves and flowers engraved on it.
"Ahh I see you have noticed the twin blades, these are Bùrianä Shákla, meaning 'Light daggers', these are designed to be hidden in your cloak, preferably dark green to black in colour. There is also a verse on there. It speaks of courage and light in all places dark." Elrond said handing the blades to her, she slowly ran her fingers over the engravings and then up the blade, careful not to cut herself. Quickly she stepped back and started to swirl them expertly, twisting them around body and close to her head, testing the weight and how they cut through the air.
"Where did you learn how to do that?" Mirathyl asked from behind her, she turned and saw the shocked expressions on all their faces.
"Oh" She laughed brightly "Back in my world, I was taught how to use them. Long story short…" Trinity coughed purposefully "…our "parents" though it was best for us to go to boarding school but we caught the wrong flight, befriended a monk and he taught us a few tricks on meditation for the few hours we were with him, but deciding that we liked learning those kinds of things decided to study at a Buddhist temple. The monks don't allow girls to join them so we disguised ourselves as boys and learnt as much as we can before we...Ahh…developed too much physically. But the monk we had befriended realised who we were and told us that it was dangerous to continue to study there, and not wanting to ruin our knowledge and training and knowing how much we liked it, he took us to a secret temple and continued to teach us all kinds of martial arts. While we were there he taught us all kinds of fighting techniques such as knives, sticks and Advanced Tong Zi gong also known as SHAOLIN kung Foo." Trinity said with a smile.
"I though you said long story short?" Elrohir joked but Elrond's voice overpowered him.
"What is this, SHAOLIN Kung Foo?" he asked.
"One of the highest forms of combat techniques from our world. Our master, Liang Yu Kai, was a master of chi and the gentlest soul on earth, that's part of the reason he took us in and something about how we must have learnt it in a past life. He taught us many things such as Tai chi, that "ritual" you saw us performing yesterday, Xiao Hong combat technique, Arhat combat technique and many kinds of Zen."
The elves looked at her strangely but in a way they seemed to understand.
"Tell us, what is this Zen technique?" Mirathyl asked, probing for more information.
"Well, it's a great technique; basically it is mind over matter. First you learn how to control your mind and use it to control your body. Then you learn all these great things, such as Hanging by neck which is a great ZEN technique, Qi cong and 2 finger Zen. Hanging by the neck is basically what is says, you learn to control your body and hang by your neck in a noose with no other support but your neck and 2 finger Zen is learning to do 2 finger push ups and 2 finger handstands." She said placing the dangers back into their quiver thing and then placing it on a nearby create, taking a deep breath and then actually doing a 2 finger handstand. Luckily she had decided to wear her old clothes today otherwise she would be in trouble.
"Wow" Elrohir said watching her lean backwards and regain standing.
"I can't remember what Qi CONG was, Jas might…oh well. Anyway we also learned sword work and stick work. I excelled in the stick work while Jas excelled in the sword work, though were both equally good in the hand-to-hand combat…which is a bummer cause we can never figure out who is better because we're both equally matched. Like I said before, Lingy said it was like we had learnt these types of techniques before, personally I think he was slightly crazy, he kept going on about "Learn not to use what you have learnt in anger only in fighting for life", which I think is utter crap…hey do you have any throwing knives?" Trinity chirped suddenly looking around the room. Elrond chuckled and handed her a small grey bundle. Excitedly she unraveled the bundle and revealed a large selection of small dagger like knives.
"WOW, these are so beautiful. So much better than my old ones" Trinity said gazing at the knives, softly stroking them as the shone in the pool of light. They also had dark handles that were engraved with spirals of vines that reached up on the blade; there was also a small verse on the blade. "What does this say?" She said pointing to the small markings.
"It says "Travel straight and true; find your destination no matter how far or how hard; embed yourselves deep and steady; until it is I that removes you" they are very special, they were used in a great battle and have proven themselves worthy of the name Thkräuļ Shákla , which means 'Knives of Light'. You may have these as your weapons" Elrond said just as Trinity opened her mouth but he cut her off "and you may also have Bùrianä Shákla"
"YAY" She squealed, twirling around clutching the weapons to her chest but suddenly she stopped realising something. "What about Jasmine?"
"She may come here also and chose her weapons" Elrond said with a soft smile, leading the way out of the room.
"Shall I bring her here Ada?" Elrohir said as they walked down the hallway, watching as Trinity twirled around with Mirathyl. Elrond nodded softly as Elrohir continued. "She's an interesting human isn't she?"
"If she's human" Elrond said, turning into his study leaving Elrohir to ponder on what she just said.
"Well I'm not crazy;
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell;
but stay a while and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me.
I'm not crazy;
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care;
but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how I used to be…"
Trinity sat outside on a small bench in the woods surrounded by small pink flowers and a small stream. It was very peaceful here and she was enjoying just sitting here admiring the peace and her new weapons. But the peace was shattered when she heard the shrill laugh of the she-elf, Filda. Trinity cringed inwardly as Filda stopped right in front of her, but trying not to show her distaste for the elf, she beamed a winning smile up at the small crowd of she-elves that had surrounded her.
"G'day Fillings, and why have you invaded this beautiful place with such horridness such as yourself?" Trinity quipped from the bench causing a murmur to ripple through the elves, who was this human to talk to an elf in such a way?
"It's Filda, and we thought that there might have been an injured wrag or wolf out here screaming in pain but it seems it was only you singing!" Filda sneered down at Trinity who only continued to smile.
"Well that was very kind of you to be actually stupid enough to live…I mean check on the "injured animal", but I'm sure that if you sing that maybe a few more wrags or wolfs will come to find the half decayed animal screeching in pain…although you may have to keep your lackeys here because you might actually see your reflection" Trinity said with a winning smile as she stood up to look the elf in the eye, she was actually standing so close to the elf that Trinity made her step back, which in Filda's case was a bad thing as she had just given Trinity an advantage in power, influence and ground.
"Well at least I have normal hair colour" Filda said jerking her head as though she was trying to flip her head but it looked like she had a spasm in her neck instead. Unknown to most of the elves in the clearing, as they were entranced by the growing tension and Human .Vs. Elf challenge, Legolas and Elladan were watching the scene unfold from the trees, having just come back from a small hunting exhibition, which had ended up in an archery face off that Legolas had one easily.
"Yeah, but it's ugly" Trinity shot back with a soft laugh causing a vain in Filda's head to bulge visibly.
"What is with your clothes?" Filda shot back, pointing to the original clothes that Trinity had worn, which she decided to put back on. (For a description of these refer to Chapt 2…or 3, I can't remember)
"What's with your face?" Trinity said rubbing her forehead making Filda do the same; she continued rubbing her face, which Filda also did, until Filda broke into hysterics.
"YOU ARE A STUPID CRAZY HUMAN WHO DOESN'T BELONG IN THIS CITY, YOU SHOULD BE FED TO THE WRAGS INSTEAD OF FEEDING WITH LORD ELROND AND HIS SONS, AND YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM AT ALL. YOU SHOULD JUST DIE" Filda screeched at Trinity, who just smiled in return.
"What's wrong, Faeces? I can't understand you, all I heard was blah, blah, blah I'm a dirty tramp." Trinity said with mock concern.
"YOU! YOU ARE AN INFURIATING LITTLE DWARF…"
"Ahh But I am as tall as you, so that would make you a dwarf too!" Trinity chirped.
"…NO, NO WE ARE NOTHING THE SAME, YOU ARE A DIRTY, FILTHY DISGUSTING HUMAN THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AS SOON AS YOU WERE SEEN…" Filda screeched her eyes showing the fury building in her.
"Ah, sorry to interrupt you there, Frog-legs, but I gotta ask you a quick question. Now, when you were born, nay, spawned by the Dark Prince himself, did that rat bastard forget to give you a hug before he sent you along your way?" Trinity asked softly patting Filda's arm, feeling the tension in her body as she did so. As soon as she let go of her arm, Filda flew at her in blind fury, but Trinity had expected this from the moment Filda had started the argument and moved slightly to her left and stuck her foot out, tripping the angry elf into her friends. After gathering herself and slightly calmed herself, Filda turned to Trinity with a sly smile.
"Fine, then human, there shall be a contest. Best out of 5, if I win, you leave!" Filda said smugly, not knowing that Trinity was already leaving with the fellowship.
"Fine, if I win, I get to shave your head that includes eyebrows and eyelashes!" Trinity smiled sticking her hand out, Filda accepted with a sly smile and left with her groupies, leaving Trinity alone once again. She picked up a large stick and started to draw in the dirt, drawings of stick figures with no hair and big noses.
"Do you think that was wise?" Legolas said dropping out from the tree making Trinity jump and almost knock his head off with the stick.
"Ahh, what the hell?" Trinity gasped as Elladan also dropped out of the tree laughing. "What do I think is wise? You?"
"No, challenging Filda" Legolas said letting go of the stick that had almost hit his head.
"Why?...you do realise that you just said that you weren't smart" Trinity smiled twirling the stick while looking at the elves.
"Hey" Legolas said softly but was overpowered by Elladan.
"She is quite an expert warrior." Elladan said, getting dizzy from watching the twirling stick.
"And you're saying I'm not?" She replied twirling it faster and faster until it was a blur.
"No, it's just that…she's and elf and…" Legolas started also getting dizzy from the twirling. Trinity stopped suddenly and pointed the shaper end of the stick at Legolas's throat.
"Don't give me all that crap on elves and humans, I would think you would know better, with Aragorn and all" Trinity said moving the stick away and throwing it like a javelin into the surrounding woods.
"But Aragorn has grown up around elves and is basically one of them" Elladan defended watching Trinity pick her twin knives up and walk towards them.
"Well then, I'm just going to have to prove myself in this challenge thing then aren't I?" She said pushing past the elves and making her way back to the palace.
"It's not that I don't trust her skills, I mean we saw how she dodged Filda like that" Elladan pointed out.
"Yes, but Filda was acting in blind fury, she will not be like that tomorrow" Legolas countered.
"Hmm, I guess we will find out tomorrow then. Something about the way Filda was acting is making me quite nervous about this, she really hates Trinity" Elladan said as they made their own way towards the palace.
"Well then, we're just going to have to supervise the contest then, aren't we?" Legolas said with a smile.
"Hmm that's a shame because I was really looking forward to having to speak with the dwarves tomorrow" Elladan laughed as they entered the palace. Their mirth was heard through out the palace.
Trinity threw herself on the bed, thinking about tomorrow and what kind of challenges she would have to face, when a knock sounded at the door.
"Come in if you're ugly!" She yelled as Jas stepped in the room.
"Sorry to disappoint you" Jas chirped closing the door behind her and walking over top the bed and throwing herself down on the end of it.
"You didn't disappoint me, you're a 20 pointer!" Trinity laughed as Jas hit her with a pillow, causing Trinity to hit her with a pillow which caused Jas to hit her again and then started the Great Pillow War of Middle Earth. They built little forts and had bombing raids, with hand cushions and everything; it didn't stop until Jas's pillow exploded into a rain of feathers.
"Cheaply made Middle Earthian pillows" Jas grumbled as Trinity did her happy dance. Basically it was bouncing up and down and twirling around while throwing her arms wildly in the air while wiggling her bottom and singing 'I WIN I WIN I WIN'. Once that was over she threw herself back onto the bed and sighed.
"What?" Jas asked curious as to her friend's actions.
"Nuthin" Trinity said burying her face in a pillow.
"What?" Jas asked again, this time more forcefully.
"Nuthin, did ya get your weapons?" Trinity said changing the subject as she rolled over to face her best friend.
"Yeah I got a really beautiful sword and a pair of custom made nun chucks! But don't change the subject, what happened?"
"I may have gotten challenged today and I may have accepted" Trinity said with a sly smile as Jas sighed and hit her with another pillow.
"Can you EVER stay out of trouble?" She said pounding her with a pillow as Trinity laughed and grabbed her own and hit back.
"No, but life wouldn't be as fun if I stayed out of trouble!" she laughed as the second Great Pillow War of Middle Earth raged in the room.
Quotes Matchbox 20 – Unwell, Mr Deeds and Scrubs
All that stuff on the SHAOLIN Kung Foo, is completely true and completely AWESOME! I would LOVE to learn it!
Well people it has come to my attention that I can continue my little stories of 'The Boys from Middle Earth and Drake' and here it is!
"Hmm now I don't know what to say, I'll just tell ya what happened yesterday"
Legolas entered the room wearing a towel his hair wet and dripping slightly.
"You have got to do something with that little pest!" Legolas growled.
"That's not nice Lego, Elrohir isn't small" Aus smiled at Elrohir who was paying absolutely no attention to the current conversation and was watching Wizard of Oz…again.
"No I mean, that…that THING" He yelled pointing to a sopping wet Drake who ran out of the hallway and tried to climb up Legolas's leg. "AHHH" he yelled trying to shake him off.
"Drake, how did you get out of the jar?" Aus asked picking up the wet bundle and putting him next to the heater, where he proceeded to fall asleep. "Fine don't answer me!"
"Aren't you going to do something?" Legolas said still standing there in a small blue towel with his abs showing and him muscular body glistening in the afternoon sun as the light caught the small droplets that were dripping down his chest.
"Gnarh" Aus said staring at Leggy.
"WHAT? Do something! He bit me!" Legolas said trying to get some sympathy.
"Where?" Aus said, snapping out of her daze.
"Here" Leggy said lifting his towel up slightly showing his muscular legs. This was too much for Aus, who fainted. The elves walked over to her and Elrohir prodded her with his foot.
"Good work Legolas; see what happens when you show your body to people" Elladan sighed putting a pillow behind the smiling face of Aus. They left her there and continue with what ever they were doing.
"THEY LEFT ME THERE! They didn't put me in a bed of tried to revive me…hmm nice visions…they just left me!"
