Remember when I said I wouldn't take that long to update again? Well, I was wrong. Sorry about that.
I can't really promise anything about timing, but I do promise this will get finished, however long it takes me. Hope you guys can be patient.
Thanks for all the people who have written to check on the story, even if I'm an asshole who never remembers to reply before it's too awkwardly late. I just wanted to say those messages do help, so thank you.
Hope you all like this, and see you guys when I see you.
Chapter Six
Peter hurried out of the building, looking in his pocket for his cellphone. He was deciding between calling Neal to see if he'd pick up and calling Jones to ask him to pull the data on Neal's anklet. Surprisingly, Neal was waiting for him on the passenger seat of his car. Less surprisingly, he had managed to get in without a key or pulling the alarm.
Peter sighed relieved, and walked to him a bit less purposefully. Neal was pointedly looking outside his window, and Peter guessed he needed some time to compose. While they were used to difficult conversations, Peter knew this one had hit closer to home than usual.
He climbed into the car and started the engine without another word. A part of him wondered if Neal would want to come over to his place to discuss things, but he dismissed the idea immediately. Better for him to be in the place where he felt the safest if Peter expected him to talk. To hell with the case, Neal needed to get some things out of his chest, and if he was honest, Peter didn't think he could just not know something this important about his life.
They drove silently until they reached June's house. Once the engine was off there was a heavy silence, but Neal didn't move to get out.
"Do you want to go grab some dinner? It's a bit early, but if I remember correctly you only had coffee for lunch." Peter said.
"I don't think I can stomach anything right now. Except maybe some scotch." Neal answered, his voice still raw.
"You're not drinking with an empty stomach." Peter said, powering the engine again. He stopped at a deli a couple of blocks away and bought some sandwiches while Neal waited in the car. They drove back to June's and once they settled in Neal's apartment, Peter insisted they had wine instead of something stronger. After all it was the middle of the week.
Neal played with his food for a while, but took a large bite of the sandwich the third time he saw Peter staring at him. Finally he sighed and talked.
"Okay, so what do you want to know?" He asked.
"How about everything?" Peter replied, his voice quite serious. Neal sighed again.
"Everything is a little broad."
"Okay, how about this stealing from your parents thing?" Peter asked, bringing forward one of the things that stuck the most from what Blaine had said. To be honest, Peter felt a little stupid about how he thought Neal had parted from his family. He expected a dramatic situation, something that pushed Neal to run away. He usually forgot that Neal was, like it or not, a criminal. He had to have started somewhere. Why not his own home?
"Yeah, I'd forgotten about that…" Neal replied tiredly. "Would it make a difference if I tell you I really don't think Blaine cares about that? He wouldn't. Not unless he changed a lot since… since back then."
"But you did steal from them?" Peter asked. Neal stayed quiet for a bit, then just nodded. "You know, there was one time you said you'd tell me everything Neal Caffrey had ever done. You didn't even mention your parents." Peter said, angry and rather disappointed.
"That was Cooper. What happened with my parents, I did that when I was Cooper. I didn't lie to you on that," Neal admonished. Peter wasn't sure if that made a difference, but it looked like it did to Neal.
"Then I guess I should always remember that 'not lying' with you doesn't really mean saying the truth." Peter snapped. Neal pursed his lips, but didn't deny it. Peter grabbed his wine and gulped a couple of times, trying to calm himself.
Being with Neal was an exercise in patience. The worst thing he could do about it was jump in to judge him before knowing all the facts. It was true that him and Neal didn't always share the same morals, but that didn't mean Neal lacked them. Peter just had to make an extra effort to understand them.
"Look, I know you are not a bad person, Neal. And I can see you love your brother," Peter started again, thinking El would advise to play on sympathy. "But I don't understand what's going on, and I'm not sure if you noticed, but your brother is strongly related to our main suspect on the brooch's theft. If we still plan on helping him not land in jail, I need to know what I'm going against."
"My family's past doesn't have anything to do with this," Neal complained, although he seemed insecure.
"Maybe not for you, but right now I think for Blaine this is all there is about it," Peter replied in a softer voice. "And I may be wrong, but something tells me you've had this locked down for far too long. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would've never believe you reacted like that to a barely-twenty-years-old kid."
"Twenty-one," Neal corrected, although his voice was sad. "He turned twenty-one a couple of months ago. Officially a man, I guess."
"Neal, what happened?" Peter asked gently. It really pained him to see his friend with such a somber semblance. His anger was changing already to sympathy. Neal wasn't one to give up on something, so Peter didn't understand what was about Blaine that always made him seem defeated.
"It happened that I was an asshole, Peter," Neal answered, resigned. "I know you must think there was some awful or tragic reason for me leaving home, but the bare truth is that I was a self-centered jerk, and didn't realize I was hurting people I cared about. I used to think that I didn't care for anyone in my family and somehow missed that Blaine was part of my family and then I left and… and I realized too late that I was saying good bye to him too."
"How did you leave?" Peter asked, hoping to get a formed story out of him.
"I told my parents I was going to college," Neal said, snorting right after as if the sole idea was preposterous. It was, a little bit. "Look, I know they weren't bad people… I mean, they were assholes too, I guess, but not bad in the sense of doing anything illegal or harmful to me or Blaine. They were just… absent. I grew up with nannies, and Blaine grew up with me. They were never there, never showed up for a school game or when Blaine joined his theatre class… They were elitist idiots who only cared about looks and prestige and what their friends from the country club thought about them."
"So you left when you graduated." Peter filled in. "With their money."
"I didn't leave them bankrupt, if that's what you think." Neal said, his face serious. "I didn't want to ruin them or anything. They were loaded, I'm guessing they still are. I had been checking my dad's bank account for years and they had enough to spare. So I told them what they wanted to hear, made them give me some money that at most would leave them without vacations in Rome for a year or two, then I left. Always wonder how long it took them to realize I never arrived to Yale's economics program."
"Economics?" Peter asked puzzled.
"Goes to show how little they knew me, that they actually believed that."
"But don't you think they were worried? You disappearing like that, they could've thought you were kidnapped or mugged or something."
"I checked the police reports for a while" Neal said, "They never filed a complaint or anything. Not to get back the money, but not to find me either. If I know them enough, my dad's pride got the better of him and he convinced everyone to treat it as if I didn't exist."
"And you are okay with that?" Peter asked, not being able to understand having a child and just going through life acting as if it had never happened.
"I did the same, so I can't complain much, can I?" Neal said. He tried to play it as if he didn't care, and Peter guessed some part of him honestly didn't. Except a small part of him that did care. Peter thought he was starting to understand Neal's feelings about it, even if he didn't think he could ever share them.
"What about Blaine?" Peter asked.
"At the beginning I just didn't realize I was leaving him too. Even if I had, I don't know if I'd realize the impact that would have on me… Peter, you have to understand I was different then," Neal said, and Peter felt something deep, like a slight desperation in his voice that despite everything warmed him inside. It was important for Neal that Peter understood him, it was important to him that Peter didn't judge him for mistakes he had made when he was a teenager. "I didn't know any better. I was stupid and idealistic and I thought… I thought what I wanted the most was to be free. To do whatever I wanted, to be challenged and to meet interesting people and places, not like the boring backwards town I was living in."
"Did you know back then what you'd be doing to get money?" Peter asked. Neal smiled.
"In a way, yes. But I thought myself as some kind of Robin Hood, although without the part of sharing the stolen good with the poor… I just always thought I was stealing from people who didn't deserve to have what they had, like my parents. Then of course I couldn't learn the life story of all the people I allegedly stole from, so I just made sure I wasn't ruining them or anything like that. I've never left anyone on the streets."
"Have you seen your family since then? You said something about seeing Blaine twice in the last 10 years."
"I've seen them, I guess. Doesn't mean I actually interacted with them…" Neal answered, although he was back to being somber. "I wanted to check up on Blaine once I was back to Ohio, a few years after I left. He was mostly okay, I guess, even if it didn't look like my parents spent a lot of time at home. I just… He seemed fine, like he did belong to the family in a way I never did."
There was something bitter about the way Neal said it, and Peter almost asked him about it, but decided not to when Neal started talking again.
"So I left for New York, and you know everything about that. Met Mozzie, met Kate, met you…"
"Went to jail…" Peter completed, bringing a sad smile to Neal's lips.
"Blaine doesn't know about anything I've done since I left. I don't know how keen he'll be to learn about it. Is not like he has a good concept of me to begin with…" This was probably the first time Peter could detect some kind of shame in Neal for the way he had led his life. Usually he was proud and upfront about his adventures (if you could call them that), but it reassured something in Peter that Neal cared enough about someone to want to seem decent and correct in front of them. His obvious fear in Blaine learning about his ways rooted even more El's idea that Blaine could be the best influence to his brother.
The kid better not had stolen the jewelry. Peter already had big plans for him.
Still, it didn't explain everything. Blaine's anger at Neal, for one, could not have come from the story Neal was telling him. He remembered something Blaine commented.
"You said you didn't part in good terms." Peter started, knowing this was possibly the hardest topic for Neal. "Blaine said something about you leaving one night?"
Neal sighed, but he knew he couldn't exactly get away from telling this part.
"I just… I've never regretted anything as much as this." Neal said, looking to the floor. "I know it's no excuse, but there was so much happening at the moment… Kate had left and I felt so lost without her, and you were catching up with me and just… everything was falling apart, which of course was the moment I hear Blaine was in the hospital."
Peter's eyes widened, but he kept silent. He didn't want to stop him when he knew it was so difficult for him.
"I hopped on a plane and went to see him because he was attacked and wasn't waking up, and I was so scared of losing him. I didn't care then that I had abandoned him before. I just needed him to be okay." His words were heavy, and Peter could tell he was making an effort to keep his voice steady. "So I sneaked into his room late at night, and I swear Peter, he looked so tiny and hurt… Maybe it makes no sense to you because you never met Blaine when he was a kid, but he was always so active and jumpy and… it was a broken version of him that night, and I just…"
Neal swallowed, his eyes watered again. Peter took his hand in a supportive motion, and with the other passed him his glass of wine.
"Did you find out why he was attacked?" Peter asked, giving Neal some time to find his words again. The awry smile he got in return was answer enough.
"He was gay bashed." Neal said with distaste. "Sometimes life is so ironic. I've always thought that if I had some of this coming for me, a beating or whatever, I'd take it because I would probably deserve it. But no, instead my little brother gets punched nearly to death for taking another boy to a school dance and-" his voice gets choked again, and this time the drains the glass when Peter passes it.
It wasn't what Peter was expecting, but then, Peter had lived in New York all his life, except for his training period at Quantico. He knew there were other states were homophobia was a big issue, but for Peter it had always been just another pointless kind of discrimination, along with sexism, racism or xenophobia. He disapproved of them all with the same energy, but never had to stop to wonder about particulars.
They remained in silence for a couple of minutes, Neal serving himself another glass. Peter let him fill it, but took the bottle away from him afterwards.
"I thought he would be furious at me." Neal continued after a while. "I mean, I didn't have much time to stop and think that day, but when I was in the hospital waiting for my chance to sneak in, I kept thinking he would scream at me, probably kick me out as soon as he saw me. Instead of that he actually thanked me for coming back for him. For being of his side and not hating him for being gay and I just… I had been worrying about his health but turns out he was lacking in places I couldn't even… I mean, he was so alone… he was sure mom and dad didn't love him, and the bullying in school was getting the best of him, had driven all his friends away, and I realized getting out of the hospital in one piece wouldn't do anything for him because he still had to go out and face a world where he was miserable but I couldn't…"
Neal choked on his words, and Peter gave him some more time, aware that he was watching a rare moment of vulnerability in his friend. Neal wasn't used to feel powerless, and it was exactly what Blaine's whole situation made him feel. Peter could start to see now why it was such a hard topic for him, why he approached it as if he had already lost. In a way, Peter guessed he had.
"You couldn't rescue him?" Peter asked tentatively, regretting his words almost immediately when Neal's face fell even more. On the other hand, he wasn't sure of another way to phrase it.
"I will never know if I could've done it because I was too selfish to try." Neal snapped with tears in his eyes, and Peter could see, finally, that this was the heart of the matter. "It always comes down to this, to me having to give up Blaine in order to have the things I want, and I always choose myself. Even when I can see I'm not only parting for him, it's like it always requires for me to completely screw him over when he's the one person who doesn't deserve it! And how am I supposed to ever look at him in the eye again when I know I turned my back on him when he needed me? He has every right to hate me!"
Peter heard the crash before he actually saw it. Neal's wine glass had left a purple stain on wall, and Neal was now throwing the sandwich dish for good measure. After the second crash, Peter was at his side holding him, and although Neal struggled a bit, his anger was soon replaced by sadness. Heaving, he fell on his chair and covered his face with his hands. Peter couldn't be sure if he was crying or not.
It took several minutes for Neal to calm down, and Peter decided to give him time by getting up to clean the mess of wine and pieces of glass on the floor. When he went back to his chair, Neal had somehow gotten a bottle of scotch and was nursing what hopefully was only his first glass of it.
"So Blaine asked you to stay when he saw you in the hospital." Peter continued as if they hadn't stopped, hoping his nonchalance would help Neal to remain in control.
"He asked me to take him with me," Neal answered, not taking his eyes from his glass. "I told him I couldn't, and then he begged, Peter. My little brother was begging me to save him and I just left."
Well then. If that was the end of the story, Peter guessed it did paint a harder picture than he imagined. But mostly, it was just hard to think Neal would leave like that, it didn't make sense. Not Neal, who always found a way to help those he loved, who refused to give up, who managed the impossible when he set his mind to it.
But then, wasn't that the problem? Neal knew himself as well, knew the things he was capable of, knew what he could achieve when he really wanted it. With all this, knowing he couldn't help his brother must feel like the worst betrayal, like his skills hadn't worked when he most needed them. Peter remembered Neal insisting Blaine was his Elizabeth, and he couldn't phantom what he'd do if for all his work and experience he couldn't help her when she need him.
"And you haven't seen him again, until yesterday," Peter finished.
"I haven't. Well, I did make some arrangements for him after the hospital… switched him to a private school where he wouldn't be bullied anymore. Let loose a couple of rumors about it in my parent's circle so they wouldn't back up when they found out. Then I came back and it was probably a month later that you found me. I never found the nerve to look him up after I was released to the FBI custody. I was scared that I would find something worse and I wasn't there to stop it…"
"He switched to public school again, after a couple of years." Peter said, getting a surprised look from Neal. "It's in his record, didn't you read it?" Peter asked to make sure Neal didn't think he had looked him up. He had, but that wasn't the point. "He stayed at that Dalton school a couple of years, then transferred to a public school in Lima."
"Lima?" Neal wondered out loud. "That's even more of a backwards town than Westerville… It's a weird place to transfer to…"
"Maybe he wanted the anonymity that came with it. But I think he made friends there. He joined a lot of clubs in that school, so maybe he already knew the people."
Neal remained silent, thinking. Peter wasn't sure if this was the right approach, but he didn't know about a better way to go at it. To be honest, Neal's history with Blaine was actually harder than he expected, and as much as he loved his friend, he had to accept Blaine did have good reasons to be mad at him. Peter knew it wasn't the Neal he knew the one that made all those mistakes, but he was a just man, and he believed 100% that Neal had to live with the consequences and learn a way to make up for it.
Still, he didn't want him to think that everything was lost. Blaine seemed like a good kid, even if the whole five minutes Peter spent with him were filled with shouts and tears and blame. Maybe, with time, he'd find a way to get closer to Neal again. And maybe it would be easier for Neal if he saw Blaine had done okay, despite all his problems as a teenager.
"He graduated with honors, you know?" Peter continued, trying to find the silver linings. "He was captain of his Glee Club and the Debate club and for some reason a Superhero Club…" That actually brought a smile to Neal's lips, but he still stayed silent. "He was accepted into Julliard on his first try, and he's going to graduate soon from it, has a year to go or so, I think. And I mean, wasn't the gala concert like a really big deal? If he's playing there, it means he really is that good."
"I'm not sure where you're going with this," Neal said, although the environment around him was already lighter and he had a small smile on his lips. Despite everything, Peter knew he could count on Neal being proud of his brother.
"All I'm saying is, Blaine has done well for himself." Peter says, his voice mildly pleased. "He doesn't have any debt, which most likely means he has you parent's financial support, if nothing else. I mean, we're talking about Julliard, that school isn't cheap by anyone's standards. And he may have had a hard time at school for being gay, but now he's here living with his boyfriend and they looked close. He's okay, even if he had bumps on the road in his early life."
"He shouldn't have had to-"
"But he did, and it didn't break him." Cut Peter before Neal could start another tangent of self-hate. "If you were scared of something worst happening to him, it didn't. And even if it did, he obviously came through and he has a good life. So yeah, maybe you screwed up, but he survived and even only that gives you another chance. You should be glad that you have it, instead of focusing on the mistakes of your past."
That would probably take Neal a while to chew on. And he didn't look like he was close to hyperventilating anymore, so Peter guessed it was as good time as any to leave. He stood up, and started gathering his things.
"I don't know what I'm going to do if it turns out he did steal the brooch." Neal admitted without looking to Peter, and he immediately tensed. Because it was more than a little disclosure. It didn't mean Neal would be lost. It meant he was willing to do whatever it took to keep Blaine out of trouble, and that didn't exclude going completely against the law. Peter was almost grateful Neal was this honest with him, except he hated it because it was a warning. Neal wasn't above ruining his own deal over this.
"Do you honestly think he could have done it?" Peter asked. He was in front of the door, ready to leave.
"No. But you were right, I don't know him anymore." Neal admitted, sadly.
There was a small silence, and Peter decided he could be lenient this one time. He needed Neal to have hope.
"Then we'll have to trust that, for now. God help me, I don't really think he could have done it either. We just need to catch the real bad guy."
"And we're the best on that, aren't we?" Neal asked, this time with a full smile on his face. Peter couldn't help but returning it.
"We are. Neal, this time you'll find a way to help him".
Neal was up with the sun. He had slept probably four hours in two days, but he felt renewed. He of course had Peter to thank for that, as he had been the one to make him realize not everything was lost.
Yes, he had screwed up. Repeatedly. But he had forgotten he was also a master in turning these kind of situations around. Hadn't he gotten the best deal in the history of the FBI right after escaping Supermax? Hadn't he gotten the same deal after escaping again to Cape Verde just a few months ago? And hardest of all, hadn't he gained Peter's trust somewhere along that road? He could do the same with Blaine, however long it took him.
It was a scary notion, because things would probably get worse before they could get better. Blaine didn't know a thing about his life and Neal didn't have the face to explain the things he had done. He had come far in life, but it wasn't the kind of thing he could show Blaine, say 'here, this is why I left' and think that helped justify anything. Honestly, he could have cured cancer and still wouldn't be justified, but it would sound a lot better than telling him he left to go to jail.
But Peter was right, this time he had a way to help him. And maybe, just maybe, this was a blessing in one hell of a disguise, because Neal couldn't be sure he would dare to go near Blaine if the situation hadn't pushed him like it was doing right now. And Blaine needed his help, whether he knew it or not. If Neal resolved this for him, maybe he would get at least a chance to talk to him without all the screaming.
He got ready quickly, forced down some breakfast, and walked to the office hoping the morning air would clear his head. When he got there he realized it was still too early, being the only one who had arrived yet, but that was just as good. He had work to do.
He reviewed all the information again, the interviews with the museum's staff, the reports on the security cameras, the information they had on the musicians. He stole for a bit Jones' notes, including the report about having Kurt on camera that he had prepared for the NYPD. Neal frowned, realizing Blaine was not the only one he had to protect now. He knew Kurt, already liked him, but also knew it wouldn't get him any points with Blaine if he saved him but had his boyfriend take all the guilt.
Still, an overview to the information told him what they had against Kurt was circumstantial at best if they couldn't place him in the vault at the time of the robbery, so that gave him time.
He focused of the security guard's report, because the only other way the thief could had got in was through the back door. But the guards were adamant only the people from the band had got in, all of them checked on a pre-approved list and identified by name and ID.
Thinking about how he would do it, Neal checked for possibilities of someone being able get in before everyone else and stay hidden. That turned him back again to the staff, to whom it wouldn't be so hard to pull that off, most of them having offices they could stay in as long as they wanted, but Neal knew anything down that road would be very difficult to prove.
The office filled around him, but Neal paid no more attention than to tell Jones he had stolen his files for a bit. When Peter arrived, they only sheared a nod to each other, but the pleased expression in his face told Neal all he needed to know. They were good.
His gut was directing him towards the chance this was an inside job. So Neal focused again on the workers who had access to the vault's entrance code, thinking if he dig a bit more on them, maybe he'd find a motive they passed over before.
He was about to check on that Joanna woman, when the sound of commotion distracted him. Looking up, his heart froze in his chest once again when he found Blaine in front of him, fire burning in his eyes while an intern tried to tell him he wasn't allowed there.
"Blaine?" Neal barely managed before Blaine exploded.
"This is all your fault! Why did you have to show up again? I was fine, and you just come and screw everything up! It's like you enjoy to ruin my life!" He spat, almost throwing himself at Neal, who once again was paralyzed. Thankfully Peter appeared from nowhere to hold Blaine back, as the rest of the office was too stunned staring at the scene to do anything else.
"Mr. Anderson, you need to calm down," Peter tried to apace him, sending a questioning look to Neal. This time he honestly had no idea.
"Get away from me!" Blaine pushed Peter over, and Neal had a second to be grateful his friend just let himself be pushed, instead of tackling Blaine to the ground, which he could very well do. "This is also your fault! I don't know what you think you got from yesterday's meeting, but Kurt didn't do anything. You had no right to do this!"
"Do what? Blainey, we haven't done anything." Neal said, proud to finally be able to speak with a steady voice in front of him.
"Then why did the police arrest Kurt?" He asked viciously.
"The police did what?" Peter asked, confused. "They couldn't, they don't have enough to arrest him."
"Well you better tell them that, because there ware officers are our apartment right now searching all our stuff and they took Kurt and wouldn't even let me go with him. He hasn't done anything, I swear."
Jones and Diana were also there, and the whole team sheared a look. Neal took from his desk the only thing that could have brought this on, Jones' report about finding Kurt on camera before the robbery, and Peter's eyes went from confused to furious in record time.
"Son of a…" he took out his phone and started screaming to it in that way that made you want to search for cover. "Give me Collins. I DON'T CARE IF HE'S BUSY, HE BETTER TAKE THE CALL OR HE'LL BE ANSWERING TO THE BORD ON WHY HE SAW FIT TO ARREST SOMEONE WITHOUT ANY REAL PROOF…"
Peter took the shouting to his office, and Neal was suddenly faced with a very angry, very determined Blaine in front of him. He had no idea what to do.
"You better fix this." Was the only thing he said, and Neal knew if he didn't he would lose him forever.
