Hey everyone -waves- its me Soy Soy Joo and today we will be Interviewing Near o and YAY today we have EVEN more reviews yay yay yay -smiles- OK SO NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!


Me: HELLO!! AND WELCOME TO GREENBOOK INTERVIEWS!! AND ME SOY SOY JOO AS YOUR HOST!! Ok!! So today our guest will be Near . YAY!!

- clapping noises with fangirls throwing toys yelling " YOUR SO CUTE NEAR-KUN" -

-Near walks in unfazed by the attention he's getting-

Me: HELLO NEAR!!!!

Near: Yes hello -smiles-

Me: Wow you have TONS of questions from the fans...you lucky bum I can't believe you got more then L...-sniff sniff-

Near: Well I was also amazed by how many fans wonder about my orientation also..I mean they KNOW I am gay but they keep asking...

Me: Your...GAY!!!

Near: Yes..I have a unatural feeling for Matt and Mello even though I don't know why? I mean they're not even attractive...

Me: WHAT!! MATT ISN'T HOTT!! YOU GOTTA BE JOKING!! -slaps with korean fan- -yay korea!!!-

Near: OWWW!!! HEY THAT HURT GOD DAMN IT!!!

Me: It should and well -sorry to all the Mello fans- Mello he looks like a transvestite but my friend says she likes his bad-boy style. The funny thing about his hair is that its a mullet and he looks scary when he's mad. o.o like yesterday...

Near: Yes yes o and sorry because of me you couldn't go see Transformers with Matt.

Me: Nah its ok I went with L.

Near: What...you went with L...

Me: Yeah? Why?

Near: YOU SHOULD OF TAKEN ME TO IF YOU WAS GOING WITH L!!! -tears-

Me: O.o

Audience: KYA!!! NEAR-KUN LOOKS SO KAWAII WHEN HE CRIES!!!!

Me: o.O Ok...well today we have TONS of questions from TONS of people YAY!!! OK first question is from AAA. THANKS AAA FOR YOUR REVIEW!!! Yeah Matsuda said he was sorry for mot answering your questions because of NEAR and MELLO!! -points to Near- yeah so ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!

1. L has eats sweets, and Mello eats chocolate. Is it a possibility you eat your toys?

Me: Well Near?...Do you EAT your toys?

Near: Umm...no...I don't ahem "eat" my toys..and I would also say...

BOOM!!! The back of the studio blows up...

Me: WHAT THE -BEEP- IS GOING ON GOD DAMN IT!!!

Bumblebee from Transformers comes out and someone hops off of it...

Me: FLUFFY APPLE!!!! HIYAS!!!!

FluffyApple: HEY SOY SOY JOO!!! LONG TIME NO SEE!!! -hugs-

Near: Ok...who are you...-points to FluffyApple-

FluffyApple: -gasp- GAY!!!! -points to Near-

Near: WHAT!!! -shock-

Me: HEY!! DON'T BE MEAN TO MY INTERVIEWERS!!!!

FluffyApple: Fine...-pouts then sticks tongue at Near-

Something moves from Bumblebee's back...

Me: Hey what's that? -points to that thing-

FlufflyApple: Oh thats L in a bag..I was gonna rape him. -smirks- But didn't know where to go so yeah...

Me: -eyes glisten- L!!!

Near: -eyes glisten- L!!!! OMG WHERE!!!

Audience: -eyes filled with hearts- KYA!!! L-KUN!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!

L: ...-thinks- I fear if I say anything I WILL get KILLED...So I will remain quiet...

Me: Hmm...Ok well seeing as we SHOULD get on with the show even THOUGH there was A INTURUPTION by HER!!! -glares at FluffyApple- Ok so Near do you eat your toys...

Near: No...I am actually anerexic so I only drink water..

Me: O.O So you don't eat AT all...

Near: Yes...I don't eat...

Me: No wonder your so weak...

Near: HEY!!

FluffyApple: Lol...hahahahha

Near: You FluffyApple I CAN send you to jail ya know...

FluffyApple: Well NEAR I CAN kill YOU with Bumblebee -smirks-

Near: ...

Me: Ok...FLUFFYAPPLE SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY AND GO RAPE L!!! THIS IS MY SHOW!!!!

FluffyApple: Fine don't have to be mean I'll just sit here and yell random words when needed then...-sits-

Me: Fine. Ok next question is from Kano Aegnor. THANKS KANO!!! Okso the questions are...

a. We've never seen you eat anything. Do you eat your toys?
b. Why did the finger puppet representation of L look...so retarded?
c. How does it feel being the new L after Matt, Light and Mello died?

Me: Ok so skip the first one since we answered it ok so the next question...

Near: Why does the finger puppet look retarded because L is retarded...

Me & FluffyApple: -GASP- -we are both MAJOR L-Fans hee hee- HOW DARE YOU SON OF BITCH!!! -bitchslaps 4 times-

PAH!! POO!!! PAH!!! OWWW!! - that was Near-

Me: That will teach to EVER talk bad about L.

FluffyApple: Thats right GAY BOY!!! L IS THE BESTEST PERSON EVER!!!! DSHSKJHSKHDLSKJH-speaks gibberish-

Me: o.o

Near: o.o Well.. I did feel lonely cause everyone was dead...

Me: Aww..-pokes Near's cheeks-

FluffyApple: -still speaks gibberish- AHDJSDALDSJLHLDHJS

Me: Ok...she forgot to take her meds so yeah...a ha ha ha...ok NEXT QUESTIONS!!!! This one is from mookie627 THANKS MOOKIE!!! Ok so the question is...

HI NEAR! uhm,Do you LIKE girls, Cause everyone is saying ur gay! Which is unbelievable! personally,.I think you're a ladies man.

Near: Well if you count Mello as a girl then I guess I would be counted as "straight".

Me: I think Mello is a manlady so a transvistite so yeah...

Near: Really?!?! Mello's a transvestite?!?!? O.O

Me: I don't know maybe...o.O or maybe not...oo..wee...oo...

Near: -.-'

L: HEY!! I'M LOSING AIR SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

Fangirls in the audience totally rip apart the bag and rapes L...

L: HELP!!! AHHHH!!! SECURITY!!!!

Security comes but L notices that they are girls and also L-FANS...

L: AHHHHH THIS IS WORSE!!!!! NOOOO!!!!! GRAAAHHHHHH...

Me: Oh my god...NOOOOO!!!! -dramatic music-

FluffyApple: MY L!!! I WAS GOING TO RAPE YOU!!!

Me: What!?! He's MINE!!! YOU CAN HAVE LIGHT!!

FluffyApple: EWWW!!! NO NOT THAT GAY GUY!!!!

Near: THIS IS MY TURN SO I WANNA ANSWER QUESTIONS NOW!!!! SO BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE -BEEP- UP!!!!

Me & FluffyApple: O.O ok...

Me: So this next question is from Nate River18 THANKS NATE!!! O.O OK so these are the questions..

Have you and Matt ever talked before? Because I've been having this weird wanting to read Matt/Near stories, even though you and Mello are perfect together.

Can you get hyper?

What if I told you Mello likes you, what would you do?

Why do you look like you're 7 when you're really 18?

Why do you look adorable when you're playing with toys?

Why are you cooler than Mello?

Near: A clone of me...impossible...O.O

Me: I know...I mean your so weird and now there's TWO OF YOU!!!!

Near: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!! THATS BETTER!!! Stupid L-fan...

Me: Thats right I AM A L-FAN!!! AND PROUD OF IT!!!

L: S-sssave me...AHHHH!!! I feel so violated...

Me: That's nice honey -smiles and waves- Well Near hurry up...

Near: Fine...

BOOM!!!! ANOTHER HOLE IN THE ROOF!!

Me: WHAT THE -BEEP-IN HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!

Mello-Tron comes into view...

Me: WHY THE -BEEP- DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!!

Mello: I wanted to make an entereance and besides NEAR gets to do it so why can't I do too. -glares at Near-

Near: Because I'm better...-scoffs-

Mello: DO YOU WANNA DIE ALBINO BOY!!!

FluffyApple: TRANSVESTITE!!! MELLO!!!

Mello: WHAT!!!! SHUT THE -BEEP- UP BITCH!!! -cocks gun-

FluffyApple: Go ahead and shot me transvestite Mello I always wanted to see what hell looks like anyway...

Mello: DIE!!!

Me: SHUT UP!!! -cocks gun and put it to Mello's head- Drop the gun or die...-evil glare-

Mello: Fine...chh..and I'm NOT A TRANSVESTITE!!!!

Me: Fine prove it...

Near: O///O Y-yyeah prove it...

Mello, Me, FluffyApple: O.o Why are you blushing...oh yeah your gay for Mello...

Mello: O.o FINE!!! -drops pants and underwear-

FluffyApple: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA -points to Mello's balls-BWAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

Mello: SHUT THE -BEEP- UP!!!!

Me: Oh my gosh...it's as small as -censored- - -censored- is my friend with a VERY small balls-

Near: O////O...

Mello: Y-yyeah so WHAT IF I HAVE SMALL BALLS!!! SHUT UP!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! -pulls up pants and unerwear-

Me: Fine fine ok so Near please answer the rest...

Near: O///O...

Me: Hello -waves hand over Near's face-

Near: O///O Oh yes yes...

Me: -.-' ewww getting horny over Mello's balls o.O

Near: NO!!! O//////O

Mello: My god...you disgust me...-sits somewhere-

Near: ...-sniff-

Me: SEE MELLO YOU MADE HIM CRY!!!

Mello: Fine sorry...-bites chocolate-

Near: K so has Matt and I ever talked no...and yes Mello and I are perfect for each other.

Me,Mello,FluffyApple: NOT!!! ITS MATT AND MELLO BASTARD!!!!

Near: o.o Well...I can't get hyper..I don't think so at least...or can I...hmmm..another question unanswered. Lets see if Mello told me he likes me I would glomp him and squeal for joy...

Me,Mello,FluffyApple: O.o Squeal?

Near: Yes squeal...why?

L: HELP ME GOD DAMN IT!!!!

Me: WAIT!!! Ok Near answer the next question...

Near: The reason I look 7 when I'm 18 is because I had plastic surgery...

L,Me,Mello,FluffyApple: WHAT THE -BEEP-!!! O.O

Near: Yeah...why is everyone so surprised? Here this is what I looked like before...-shows picture but of cousre its censored-

Me: O.o wow...

Mello: You look...

FluffyApple: THE SAME!!!

Near: Yeah...I don't know why though...Ahh..o well..-shrugs- ok well I look adorable because I naturally am adorable..

Me: Naturally? You said you had PLASTIC SURGERY!!!

Near: ...That doesn't count...and now for the last question why am I cooler than Mello? Well I can think of tons of reasons but since Mello is right there I have this fear of getting killed so I will send a mail to you saying the reasons.

L: Ughh...I feel so sick...man...stupid fangirls...T.T

Me: Now this last one is from animexshadow007. THANKS ANIME!!! OK so her question is...

Is there any one who you secretly like?
Why do you always twirl your hair?

Why are you always calm?

Near: Well I like Mello and I twirl my hair because it is a sign that shows my superiorness...

FluffyApple: Superiorness?

Near: Yes...its a word look it up in Wikipedia..

Me: -.-' right...

Near: You don't believe me!!! How dare you...-glares-

Me: -glares back-

Near: -.-...Hmm why am I always calm...I am always calm because...

Me: You have nothing going on in your life and your boring...

Near: HEY!! SHUT THE -BEEP- UP!!!

Mello: Well that sure wasn't "calm"

L: I wanna leave...-.-'

FluffyApple: NO!! L your gonna stay here till I LEAVE!!!

Me: NO!!! I'M GONNA TAKE HIM HOME WITH ME!!!! O and THANKS FOR WATCHING GREENBOOK INTERVIEWS!!! REMEMBER CHANNEL 45!!!! THE NEXT TIME WILL BE OUR LAST TIME ON AIR!!! SO EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN ON THIS SHOW AND A SPECIAL GUEST WILL COME SO REVIEWS!!!

FluffyApple: THE GUEST WILL BE ME!!! YEAH!! -hugs L-

Me: No it won't..AND DON'T TOUCH L!!! YOU MONSTER!! -swipes L away-

FluffyApple: HEY!!! WANNA FIGHT FOR L!!!

L: -cries- oh my gosh when will they stop...

Near: So Mello -goes closer to Mello-...

Mello: Get away from me...

Near: YOUR SO MEAN!!! WAAHHH!!! -runs while crying-

Mello: Retard...-calls Matt- MATT!!! I MISS YOU!!!

Matt: That's nice Mello...

Mello: YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!!! WAAHHHH!! -runs out with the phone-

Me and FluffyApple still fight over L...

L: -sigh- I'm just to to to popular...-eats a donut-


So remeber to post ur reviews with questions for everyone for the next chapter Thanks yaz very much!!

And until next time...

L & Me: BYE BYE!!! -waves-