A/N: A word on the time frame of this world- it's set in a modern time frame, not 96. Just to make things more accessible to the characters and so I can write about the time frame accurately since I was four years old in 1996.
-hp-
Ron and Hermione were already at the Griffindor table, whispering to each other urgently when Harry arrived at the Great Hall with Luna at his side. He realised with a flare of anger that they were talking about him as Hermione nudged Ron after spotting Harry approaching the table. Neville was also sitting with them but he quickly moved to make room for Harry and Luna with a bright grin on his face. He ignored the hurt and shocked stares emitting from Ron and Hermione as he sat down next to Neville, leaving Luna to buffer the tension between the 'Golden Trio'.
"Sitting with us tonight?" Harry asked Luna, mildly surprised.
The blonde smiled at him knowingly. "The Ravenclaw table is boring. Thought I'd try something different," she said airily.
He let out an amused breath through his nose.
"Hello Harry!" Neville greeted him excitedly. "How was your summer?"
Harry grimly smiled back. "It was alright thanks Neville. What about you?"
"Gran bought me a whole lot of books on herbology! I spent all summer reading up on them. It's fantastic," the round faced boy said in a lowered tone, "that I can finally do something right!" His eyes glimmered and Harry felt a surge of fondness for him. He mustered up a weak grin and clapped a hand against Neville's back.
"It's great, Neville. It really is," he said sincerely.
The boy beamed at him and opened his mouth to say more but before he could, Dumbledore tapped his wand against his goblet to attract the attention of the hall for the sorting.
Harry glared at the old wizard from under his bangs, unable to muster anymore than dull anger at the man. He was so exhausted and numb, he was surprised he could still feel anything. He ignored the sorting, unable to care anymore about the tired, archaic tradition of the place and instead pondered briefly on his actions against his two former best friends.
He knew they really did care for him and their loyalty last year proved nothing but. However, seeing them again after everything he had experienced, Harry couldn't feel any connection, any happiness or glow at seeing his friends. Instead, all he could offer them was an empty stare and cold words and nothing more. He knew he was being entirely unfair and he knew his behaviour was troubling both of them deeply, but he couldn't find the energy to care anymore. He was shocked to discover that he really couldn't care less about Ron and Hermione anymore than he cared about Dumbledore. To his twisted and confused mind, those closest to him turned their backs on him the moment he stepped foot in the Dursley household at the start of summer. Harry grimaced as he thought perhaps the daily beatings and abuse from the Dursleys had instilled a greater damage than he could ever had imagined - hatred for everything and everyone.
But now, bone weary, he couldn't hate. Only let the rage simmer slowly under his skin as he watched the start of year banquet unfold. He could only cast his eyes down in pure indifference as the glorified headmaster made his annual, grandeur speech. He could only stare at the food spread before him in absolute disinterest as the others ate heartily whilst chatting to each other loudly about their summers.
As Harry Potter silently followed the rest of the Griffindors to the common room, it finally dawned on him that he wasn't even alive in this world anymore.
Harry Potter died alongside Nate that nightmarish morning.
This person, who seemed like a ghost to watching eyes, who walked over to Harry Potter's bed and lay down automatically like a robot, was a stranger.
An imposter, who had quickly stolen the Boy-Who-Lived's life as quickly as Nate's spirit had left this earth.
-hp-
He opened his eyes slowly, blinking heavily while trying to remember where he was.
"Nate?" he croaked, confused.
He sat up and saw his surroundings more clearly. Then it hit him.
The accident. Nate.
Nate was-
"-dead," Harry murmured.
He closed his eyes briefly, struggling to control the violent surge of emotions before quickly reaching over to the bedside table and grabbing his phone. He switched it on and saw that he had ten missed calls and four new messages. All from Denna.
He opened the first message with a trembling finger.
Harry, police here. They want to know where you've gone. They want to come get you for questioning bout Nate. On the other note, how are you? I miss you. x D
Then the next one.
Harry, I have to tell them something. They won't go away. D
And the next.
They are going away thank fuck. But they are coming back tomorrow. Tried calling you! Are you okay? I broke down after they left. I don't know if I can do this Harry.
Finally,
Harry, I know you love Nate. I love Nate too. And you know what, I always loved you. I really did. Just never had the guts to say anything. I love you. Goodbye, Harry Potter. x D
As soon as he finished reading Denna's last text, Harry bolted out of bed, heart in his mouth and dialled her number, cursing. He paced the empty dorm room, his face pale and sweaty, his eyes mad with fear. Finally, Denna answered her phone.
Hello?
"Denna!" Harry closed his eyes in relief and sunk heavily to the ground.
It's Rache, Harry.
Harry blanched. "Where is she, Rache?"
She's in hospital, Harry. Denna tried to...she tried to kill herself.
He closed his eyes, feeling as if somebody had kicked him in the stomach. "Is she..." he paused, afraid. "Is Denna..."
She's alive. Luckily Tee-man popped round to see how she was doing. Found her just after she cut her wrists. He took her straight to the hospital so she's lucky, It could have been worse, Rache breathed, stress envident in her voice.
"Fuck. Fuck!" Harry croaked, covering his eyes with a trembling hand. He took a deep breath.
It's been hard for her, she continued quietly. The shock. And the loss,
Harry swallowed thickly. "It's been hard for everyone," he whispered.
Yeah. You should come to the hospital Harry. She'd want to see you.
"I don't know if I should," he said slowly. "Not just yet anyway."
She just tried to kill herself for fucks sakes! Rache yelled. Harry heard a sharp intake of breath. Sorry, sorry. That was uncalled for. Do what you think is best then. I got to go Harry. I'll call you when she's awake. A pause. Hey, how you doing anyway?
Harry shrugged then realised and said, "I'm okay. It hasn't sunk in yet I guess."
Well, when it hits you, let it. And make sure you have someone you can talk to, Rache advised him gently.
Another voice, presumably Will's called her name in the background. Look, I got to go. Like I said, I'll call. Love you Harry.
"I love you too, Rache," Harry smiled.
He hung up, cradled his face in his hands, and he silently let the tears fall.
-hp-
By the time Harry arrived at the Great Hall, the tables were empty and students were already heading to their first classes. Hermione and Ron were at the Griffindor table, waiting for him. He decided to be civil to them this time, knowing he owed them much more.
"Harry!" Hermione waved, looking slightly hesitant yet putting on a brave smile.
Ron gave him a small smile as well, his eyebrows disappearing under his red bangs.
Harry walked up to them silently and sat down on the bench facing the aisle, his back turned to both of them. Eventually, he turned around and gave them a tight lipped smile.
"Morning," he said. "Is that my timetable?"
Both of their faces melted into comical relief, thinking that his odd behaviour last night was temporary.
"Yes," Hermione smiled, genuine this time. She handed him a piece of parchment and he glanced at it quickly, disinterested.
"Seems like we have DADA together in an hour," Ron grinned. "Then it's potions later."
"I won't be doing potions. I didn't reach Snape's standard for that," Harry said monotonously.
"Weren't you paying attention last night, Harry?" Hermione said, frowning. "Professor Fontaine is teaching Potions now. Snape's finally teaching DADA! So if you ask Professor Fontaine, I'm sure he'll let you into his class."
"Oh," Harry said. He put down the timetable and rest his elbows on the table, placing his forehead in his hands.
"Aren't you hungry Harry?" came a hesitant question from Hermione. "You missed breakfast."
Harry stared at his timetable. Classes. He was back in school doing classes. Which meant study, assignments, essays, reading, effort. He felt overwhelmed just thinking about it. He needed some air.
He abruptly stood up and shoved his timetable into his robe pocket.
"Thanks," he said shortly to Ron and Hermione, before hastily making his way out of the Great Hall. He could clearly imagine their dismayed faces as he left.
The hallways were empty as first period had begun, but he saw Luna wafting towards the grounds and he hurried to catch up with her.
Without looking at him, she smiled and said, "Hello Harry."
"What are you doing Luna?" Harry asked, looking up at where she was staring.
"My books," she said, pointing. "Somebody has stuck my books on the walls."
Harry glanced to where she was pointing and saw that somebody had indeed ripped her books apart and stuck the pages onto the wall space near the high ceiling.
"How did they get all the way up there?" Harry muttered.
Luna shrugged and sighed. "I guess I'll have to borrow the required books for class instead."
She started walking again. Harry followed her, troubled.
"I'm sorry Luna," he said.
"Don't worry. I'm used to it by now. Remember last year?"
Harry's mouth quirked at the memory. "The shoes."
"You did help me get them down though, didn't you? In the end."
Finally, they reached the lake, and Luna sat down near the water, producing some bread. Harry followed suit and pulled out a cigarette.
"May I have one, Harry?" Luna suddenly asked, concentrating on ripping the bread apart.
Harry blinked at her, surprised. "Uh, sure."
He handed her a cigarette and lit it for her before lighting his.
"I didn't know you smoked Luna," he said, smiling.
"I don't," Luna smiled back.
She inhaled and blew out smoke as if she had been smoking for years. Harry blinked at her again but decided that being mysterious was Luna's default. He would probably never be able to fully understand her. But he liked it that way.
"So you've had a rough morning," she said, her large blue eyes blinking at him.
Harry brought his knees us and rest his arms on them. He let out a deep breath and gave Luna an exhausted look.
"Denna's in hospital," he said in a low voice.
"She tried to kill herself?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry, Harry," Luna said, laying a hand on his.
Harry smiled grimly at her and squeezed her hand. "Thanks."
He let his chin fall onto his chest and he rubbed the back of his neck with both hands, unable to think. Wanting to scream.
"Why don't we skip today?" Luna said, throwing bread into the lake.
"Skip?" he raised his head and blinked at her. She turned to look at him and nodded seriously.
"Take a holiday. You've had it rough for the last 24 hours. I think you deserve it, don't you?"
Harry raised an eyebrow, amused. "Sure, okay. Let's take a holiday," he said.
Luna frowned, her face paling slightly. Her big eyes stared at his with such intensity that it made his neck prickle. Harry stared back at her, troubled. Then suddenly her stare softened and she smiled vaguely at him.
"I think," she said, standing up, "I think we should start with a drink."
Harry broke off his stare and shrugged off his unease. He took her offered hand and also stood.
"That sounds fucking fantastic," he breathed.
-hp-
Thank you to all who had reviewed. As I said in the last A/N, it is hard to keep motivated and to improve at all if nobody reviews!
Since I received those lovely reviews from you thoughtful readers, I decided to go ahead and post this chapter a bit earlier than usual.
Keep those reviews coming! They are vital to keep this story alive.
As I said before, if I don't get reviews I don't know if anyone is reading, which leads to me abandoning this story!:(
(That sounds like a threat, but I swear it's not! I sincerely mean every word! _)
Anyway, thank you also to those who have favourited and followed me or the story (or both).
And thank you to those reviewers who suggested or requested potential scenes and storylines. I am taking them into account you know! Not just dismissing them. So if you want to see something happen let me know and perhaps I will follow through on them!
And as always, hope you enjoyed this chapter, hope it wasn't too short or incoherent, and reviewreviewreview!
Signing off,
