This is part of the The-Turducken-Affairs' Mini Writing Extravaganza, a self-proclaimed writing event in which I've dedicated this Saturday (actually, only part of it, because I did end up having to do things. Ew. Things.) to writing Supernatural stuff. I've written updates for four preexisting stories and wrote a new one shot! Hooray?
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to not me.
A/N: Right at the very beginning of this, Grokll the Great is admiring Sam. I just want to clarify that this very shortly covered admiration will never, ever be taken into the slashy direction (Sam/Grokll... or worse, Grokll/Sam? Eww). This is just Grokll is and you should accept him in all his questionable glory. (Also, I am in no way bashing slash or homosexual relations, just saying that the aforementioned pairing is not where this story is headed.)
KO'ed means knocked out.
Read, enjoy, review! :)
Grokll the Great is supremely not thrilled at the moment.
The brute that follows the Chosen One around will not let Grokll anywhere near the Chosen One-
-Ahhh, Sam, the 'what a man' Chosen One who struts around on his long, knobby 'gazelle' legs with hair flowing behind him in a really quite enthralling manner, not that Grokll has been watching the Chosen One's every move or anything-
But back to the whole not thrilled thing. While the Chosen One is being his glamorous self, this Dean character is becoming quite the 'thorn in' Grokll's 'side.'
Dean will not call Grokll your majesty or your royal big wings or even sir. Instead, Dean continues to call Grokll names like 'pie murderer'. What's worse, Dean is entirely too tall for such an unimportant knave!
To sum it up, Grokll is being forced to use all his kingly energy on putting up with the massive 'fart face' named Dean.
This is truly, horribly unacceptable and Grokll knows he must do something about it, and soon.
Normally, Dean loves cruising along in the Impala. Sometimes, he even likes that Sam is there. However, Grokll stinks (figuratively and literally).
The ride felt longer than his stint in Hell and that freakin' skull of rocks Grokll must be getting dumber as time wears on. He's also getting creepier.
After the third escape attempt, Grokll seemed to just… deflate. One moment, he was trying to twist away from the Winchesters' patented hunting hands and the next, he was silent and would not stop staring at Sam.
Now, Dean's never been the jealous type (hear that? That's the sound of sarcasm, guys. Seriously.), but he really doesn't like the attention Sam is getting.
Luckily for them, the ride is over and they are smack dab in the middle of zombie land.
So now all Dean has to do is pull Sam aside and say, "We need to get this hunt done. What are we going to do with that homemade pie terrorist?" and Sam will give him the answer.
Turns out, Sam totally does not do that. Instead, he sighs and says, in much the same way an insurance claim evaluator who has to deny yet another claim and is so done, "Grokll's not the one who started a brawl in the middle of the diner. As I recall, the pie was perfectly intact before then."
Dean huffs, crosses his arms and says, "So?" And it actually comes out a little bit nasally; as if Dean has decided this is such a waste of his time he's literally not going to waste his breath.
Sam actually has nothing to add on to that, so he shrugs.
And Dean, because he has foresight and stuff, says, "Right. He ain't going with us when we go to question the vics or any sort of authority that has the potential to put is in jail if they get suspicious…" And then Dean trails off, because he and Sam generally know what the other person is getting at and they've so got this.
"We could… Tell him to stay in the room?"
Sam and Dean look at each other for not even a second before they snort at that one (in unison, because they be grooving with each other's thoughts).
"We could knock him out, tie him up, and leave him somewhere where he definitely won't know where he is…. And then get him later."
And Dean's mouth falls open. This is his sweet little baby brother with the heart of gold. Candy grams and daisies fall out of Sam's ears. If he could carry a tune, Sam would sing "Hard Knock Life" and then do some sort of jig that fully accentuated his long ass legs (high kicks? Yes.). So it is this man, this puppy emulating, hair flipping column of gold, Sam freakin' Winchester, who ends up suggesting such a thing?
Dean is so… He's so… He's so proud!
His face practically splits open with a grin (Nasty business, truly. I heard it happens if you don't smile enough and then all of a sudden you do smile.) that his face starts to sport and he practically sings, "Great thinking Sammy!"
Grokll the Great had been flexing his wings, a task that demands great concentration and dedication, when Sam and Dean return.
And he's so totally upset that Dean is getting in his way again, but he's significantly calmer about it than he was earlier, because he has a plan.
He's about to instill his plan, his face scrunching up into a devilish grin and his wings burning just a little bit, starting by saying, ""Yo, what up,' Chosen One? I was think-"
OOF.
And then Grokll's thoughts are no more, because Dean just KO'ed him (Although technically, Grokll the Great is KO'ed, so there's no way he could actually know this at the moment… Let's just call it creative rights.).
Dean strolls out of the local library, rubbing his hands together in a way that totally matches the maniacal laughter he is imagining himself having but not actually doing because that would not be very Dean Winchester Suave (Not the hair product dammit!).
He figures that, since it is a Friday afternoon, that there's no way anyone will be at the library, so he shoved Grokll the Crappy into a supply closet.
As he makes his way to the Impala, he can tell that Sam, who is leaning against the Impala and actually does not look like a total dork while doing so, is happy too, because he's doing that thing where he looks away and his mouth twitches as if he's letting himself have phantom feelings of smiling (because Sam is often a good guy and tries to be all sensitive and stuff, especially when something not exactly good has happened to someone. What a weirdo.).
"You ready Sammy?"
Sam is in such a good mood that he doesn't even correct Dean, instead, saying, "Let's go, dude."
Grokll stirs awake to the smell of grapes.
Huh, that's odd. Usually I only smell grapes when grapes are around or- *gasp* that scoundrel!
And Grokll is furious. Because he knows the Chosen One's unfortunately related genetic defect has had the gall to knock out Grokll the Great, King of the Fairies and Grapes (and incidentally, he also smells like grapes when injured. It's part of how a true king is found. It's very complicated.).
The fury only helps to 'crank up' the vengeance Grokll's plan already had built into it and Grokll thinks, That lowly king smatterer will pay!
Oh will he pay, Grokll the Great finishes sinisterly, as he chuckles in a similarly nefarious way.
"Alright miss, I'll just get a mop to clean that up and-"
The door to the closet that Grokll did not actual get far enough into his thought process to realize he was stuck in is opened by what must be a 'janitor.'
Grokll and the unsuspecting civilian come face to face with each other and their instincts are to scream, so they scream, "AHHHH!"
