Her thoughts…
Jean noticed Lucien looking antsy on their sixth morning as husband and wife. They were eating in a beautiful new city, which was a treat in itself, but he was preoccupied. She could feel him staring at her, which was quite normal these days, but it felt different.
"Something on your mind this morning Dr. Blake?" She asked as she replaced her teacup onto its saucer, eyebrow playfully lifted.
"It's just occurred to me, there are still things about you I don't know yet. I need to know everything. I thought I knew more." He said honestly. "But now that I can look at you more completely, more in-depth, without need to look away, and I'm realizing there is so much more I need to get to. You're always thinking, for one thing. I can always see those beautiful wheels turning, what's that about?" He asked with a genuine curiosity and sweet smile.
"Well, I guess I'm usually thinking about you." She said with a soft confident smile.
"No, I️ mean years ago even. When Danny and Mattie were with us, long ago. Now that I think back, with fresh eyes, the wheels were always turning, then too." He said leaning forward, boyish smile, both elbows on the table.
"I️ knew what you meant. I️ was usually thinking about you then as well." And she leaned forward to playfully meet his gaze.
"Thinking about whether I️ should stay or go, at first." She raised her brows and nodded at him, as if to say 'you know exactly what I mean.' His gaze fell to the table.
"That lasted for about a week." He could hear a smile in her voice, so looked up at her again.
"Then I️ thought about whether I️ wanted you to stay or go. That lasted a few weeks." She moved to stand.
"But then you came back from China, and I was thinking about how I wanted to stay with you forever, whatever that looked like." She walked over to him and he knowingly pushed back from the table to make room for her.
"When you told me your home was my home, I started thinking you might love me too. That one took a while to work through." She sat on his lap, placed her arms around his neck and looked deep into his eyes.
"Then you followed me to Adelaide and I couldn't stop thinking about how magical it felt, knowing you loved me too. And that we would both stay." She kissed his cheek and his arms wrapped tighter around her waist, silly smile on his face.
"Then Mei Lin came back, and I was thinking about… well let's leave that one where it belongs." Her playful smile betrayed her for a moment and they exchanged a sad, knowing look.
"But then you told me you were ready to follow your heart, with me, and I hoped I had the strength to follow mine too." She held his face with both hands to make sure he really heard her now.
"It wasn't easy, leaving the people and places I had to in order to do that. But the more I thought about it, and the more people, including you, tried to talk me out of it, the easier it became to do just that." And she kissed him on the other cheek, this time her tongue just touching the flesh before her lips closed there.
"You, my dear doctor, have required a lot of thought. And I don't see that ever changing, at least I certainly hope not. You are the best and most exciting decision I ever made."
With that, he stood, taking her with him and returned to the bed just feet from where they were sitting, determined to show her just how thankful he was for each and every thought that kept her with him.
