Author(s)' Notes: I get that Lady Kima, at least as far as Critical Role was concerned, handled her captivity and everything she endured far better than we're portraying it, but there's a couple of reasons for the difference. One, CR is streamed online, and is devoted to Vox Machina's crazy, sometimes emotional, sometimes hilarious adventures and misadventures alike, and while they've done some pretty dark, serious, stuff along the way, they try to keep the action moving so as not to bore anyone for too long during the slower bits. For the sake of the show, they try to keep things interesting, so they might have not always been able to expand upon their more emotional moments, and two, Kima's an NPC, an interesting one, but still an NPC, along with Lady Allura, her possible? girlfriend, although from what I've seen in regards to fanfic on a couple different sites, it seems to be a popular opinion that they are indeed a matched pair. I got no problem with that, and honestly I think they're pretty good together, but for the sake of the story, and because, to me, it makes sense, we've probably devoted a bit more time to that whole mess than some of you might like, but we feel it's necessary since….well, what she went through was pretty horrible, needless to say. As such, it shouldn't be brushed under the rug, but we can get away with that since this is purely fanfiction. Anyway, rant from us is over, promise. Enjoy!

Episode 1.7: A Matter of Humility

The next four days passed without incident. While some nights came easier than others, the trip was relaxing for the most part, which was well received by even the most irritable of the group as the stresses of the road slowly bled away during the journey across the Ozmit Sea. Even Lady Kima couldn't help but let her hair down a little, despite the presence of the dark elf onboard the vessel. The only large hiccup that came about was when Vax thought it'd be a good idea to shave Grog's beard off of half his face while he was asleep a day before they finally saw land once more. Needless to say, while Grog hadn't caught Vax in the act, he knew the moment he checked his reflection that morning who the guilty party was since this was hardly the first time Vax had pulled such a prank on the goliath.

Grog showed surprising restraint, and even more mercilessly ruthless cunning, in inviting his newfound friends in on the inevitable revenge that would be his. Neria hadn't been entirely enthused by the idea that was laid out in front of her, but Giselle hadn't been so morally conflicted over the entire affair, as judging by the mischievous little smirk on her face as they met in the two elves' room on the ship shortly after Grog had made his discovery.

"Alright, are you sure you want to leave out the rats? Personally, I thought that was the best part." Giselle asked the pondering goliath for the third time.

"Nah, Vax is terrified of those little shits, no need to traumatize him….much." Grog chuckled darkly as he leaned against the wall of the chamber, his massive, thick arms crossed over his broad, tattoo covered chest. Despite the fact half of his beard, created by the magic of his belt, was missing at the current time, he was still quite the intimidating presence, or he would have been if he wasn't currently in cahoots with the pair of elven women.

"My point exactly, I think you're going easy on him." Giselle stated, the mischievous smirk on her face increasing with every word. "You're not doing enough if he doesn't end up shitting himself and screaming like a little girl. No, you want to make a lasting impression, make sure he doesn't do something so crude again." Having put her back to the door, Giselle was able to see both occupants of the room without having to move her head in the slightest, save to look up into the goliath's face but even that required little movement. That wasn't why she had her back to the door though, and as expected, she heard the softest rustle of fabric on the other side. The grin on her face took on a triumphant edge as she gave Grog and Neria a little nod to show someone was listening on the other side.

"Vipers!" Neria said with a snap of her lithe fingers. "Nothing quite says 'don't mess with me' like vipers in your bed sheets." Both Grog and Giselle gave the mild mannered cleric a surprised glance that morphed, slowly, into somewhat scared respect for the woman's cruel imagination. She blushed and shrugged in response at their response to her idea. "I have entertained the thought I am ashamed to say in regards to...certain individuals that had crossed me in the past."

Vax winced in barely contained dread, silently watching the trio through a tiny crack in the wall. "I've really fucked myself this time. For shit's sake even the nice one is after my ass." He muttered softly under his breath, but some morbid sense of curiosity kept him in place where he was currently hiding.

"Vipers? Yeesh, I'm tryin' to prank him, not kill 'em…..although it's a tempting thought. He fucked with my glorious beard!" Grog growled out, having gotten the hidden message from the Drow's glance his way. The barbarian couldn't help but grin in response, feeling quite smart and proud with himself in asking these two to help him get a little payback against the rogue.

"Right, right. So you're more interested in making him suffer? Hmm, you know I do have this one particular talent." Neria waited a beat, imagining Vax leaning in closer to wherever he was hiding. She wouldn't have been wrong either as she finally broke her silence. "I would have to learn the spell anew, but some of my powers are related to….the bedroom, as such, I can curse him. Make it impossible for him to receive a climax without it being extremely painful. He wouldn't even know until it was too late."

Upon hearing this, Grog instinctively, gingerly, rubbed at the crotch portion of his armor, grimacing at the very idea of suffering that kind of related magically induced agony at the moment of release. "Fuck me! That's downright barbaric! ... I like it, let's go with that one." Grog stated, his reluctance giving way to devilish glee.

"I'm all for it, but I was hoping for something a little more immediate, unless you planned to seduce him Neria?"

"I could, I do not know if I like the idea of causing such discomfort personally, but I could." Neria looked uncomfortable with the idea, but the little gleam in her blue eyes suggest that she would carry it out if she were pressed into service by Giselle if not Grog as well. "You would have to owe me a pretty large favor however." She was quick to say, directing her comment towards the goliath who had since went back to standing with his arms over his chest.

"Oh of course." Grog agreed with an eager, vigorous nod of his head.

The sound of rapidly departing boot steps was met with an oddly timed shout out from Vax. "Testing, hey Grog, it's your buddy Vax. Listen, I've been feeling just terrible about that awful little prank, and I'd like to make it up to you buddy."

Tapping at his ear for Neria and Giselle's benefit, Grog was quick to respond, as if they hadn't just been planning to make the rogue's nuts hurt. "Oh, hi Vax, no worries buddy, as a matter of fact, I got somethin' you'd like to hear hehe."

"O-oh, and what's that Grog?" Vax asked, ignoring the slight tremble in his voice as he stopped once he was sure he was out of immediate danger.

Grog had to take a moment to stifle his laughter as he imagined the look on the rogue's face. Once he was able to speak clearly, he gave his two new best friends a wink that….came out more as a strange eye twitch, but the intent wasn't lost on them as he replied to Vax's question. "Turns out, I think Neria fancies you buddy. Heard her gabbin' with her badass warrior friend how she plans to make ya hers, I think she even said callin' out the gods names and screamin' would be involved. Lucky little bastard! Hehe."

"Fuck no! I mean, really?! Wow, that certainly is quite the bit of news... Thanks for the head's up, and Grog? Still really really sorry over that whole silly beard thing."

"Oh it's no trouble at all, best get ready for the ride of your life Vax. Neria's comin' to get ya!" Deactivating the earring, it was all Grog could do not to laugh as loud as he could as Giselle grinned up at the barbarian while Neria just shook her head at the pair. "HA! Oh I love you two!"

"We have our moments." Giselle agreed and patted the big guy on the arm. "Now he'll worry, incessantly, and we won't be doing a thing. Sometimes the worst enemy one faces are themselves. Rogues are paranoid by nature, so he'll keep himself up at night, looking over his shoulder, expecting a metaphorical dagger that will never come. All the while we just grin and smile and carry on as if nothing's amiss, and in truth, it won't be. But he won't know that."

"I just want you to know that I do not approve of this, but the fact we actually intend to do nothing is the only reason I agreed with this at all." Neria replied, making it no secret to either of them that while she'd carry on the deception, she wasn't about to do more than that. With that in mind, she pointed a finger towards Grog. "I was not joking when I said you would owe me a favor for this."

"Oh lighten up NeNe, but I promise to pay up when ya come callin'." Neria blinked, having not expected an affectionate nickname to fall on her from the goliath of all people, but when it clicked, the cleric couldn't help but smile appreciatively up towards the man. Grog smirked and shrugged in response to the look his words had gotten. "What? It sounded better than what Scanlan thought up ... I mean probably thought up."

"Oh too late now. I want to hear it." Giselle demanded, all too eager to have something she could use to embarrass her long time friend.

Neria though only smiled and patted Grog on the side of his still beard covered face. "I am sure it is nothing I have not heard already. Do not listen to my friend's attempts to embarrass me, for they won't work." She was rewarded with a dark blue blush that spread over the barbarian's face as he chuckled awkwardly and shuffled about while Giselle snorted in good natured derision at the scene playing out before her.

Deciding she had seen enough, Giselle turned to the door and pulled it open. "Well, if we're done here, let's see to the fruits of our labors shall we?" She asked although it came out partially as a statement at the same time as she started down the hall with Grog and Neria following close behind.

"Huh? They got a garden on this ship?" Grog asked, his unfortunately limited intelligence making it slightly difficult for him to get the reference.

Considering how clever he had acted earlier, it threw Neria off for a moment as she looked over her shoulder towards the giant warrior. "No Grog, she means, never mind we'll just show you."

"Okay, this is gonna be good!" Grog declared happily, all but skipping as they made their way down to the mess hall as they'd done for the past few days on the vessel.

"Maybe a little less enthusiasm... just be quiet Grog." Giselle was quick to say, and was rewarded with a look of understanding from the grey skinned giant.

"Will do." Grog agreed, and while it was still difficult for him to contain his glee, he was no longer skipping down the hall alongside the two elven women he had sought out that morning.

Just getting ready to sit down at one of the mess hall tables, Vex looked up and felt a suspicious frown pulling at her lips when she saw who was coming. Her instincts immediately kicked in because the sight of a happy Grog, while not unwelcome, usually meant trouble for someone, mainly her brother. "Ah, there's our lovely ladies... And Grog. Looking awfully chipper today despite your recent loss. Have you seen my brother by any chance?"

"Uh nope, sorry Vex." Grog said, and scratched his head since he honestly hadn't seen Vax. He just failed to mention that he and their two new companions had likely scared him shitless was all. "Haven't seen him since last night."

"Right, well if you do be sure to let me know. Something has gotten into Vax lately and, well he seems to be hiding a lot, even for him." Vex stated worriedly, never uncomfortable when her brother got more secretive than he normally was.

"More like what's he gotten into- mmmph!" Having sat down at the table between Giselle and Neria, Grog grimaced when the Drow ranger stomped, hard, on his foot underneath the table to silence him before he said something to give their little game up. Thankfully he got the message and quickly changed gears. "I mean, I'm sure he'll turn up soon."

Vex gave the trio a probing stare, but Giselle was as stony faced as ever and Neria had her customary, if curious, smile on her face as she got comfortable at the table. "I am sure it is nothing Vex, Vax is more than capable of taking care of himself, is he not?" She asked, further distracting the half elf in the process.

Giving up the ghost, Vex slumped on her side of the table and rested her head against the table with a groan. "Fine….don't tell me whatever it is you're up to." She grumbled before casting a withering glare at the three mischief makers once she had picked her head back off the table. "I should warn you, and Grog knows this, but Vax can be quite creative with his pranks. You might wake up with all manner of trouble to worry about one morning."

"You know, if you're so worried, why don't you just do whatever it is you do with those strange earrings, and contact your wayward brother." Giselle offered with a vague wave of her hand. "Just a suggestion."

"Would if I had one. We travel together so it's not a problem normally." Vex grunted back before leveling her gaze on Grog. "But that's not a bad idea, darling."

"No problem at all, here borrow mine then." Grog said and pulled his Whisper Earring from his ear before giving it over to Vex. He did give the two elves on his flanks a curious glance, expecting to be kicked underneath the table again, but when nothing happened, he breathed a little easier as their hands met in the middle.

Vex raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about the little glance she had seen Grog give Neria and Giselle as she took the earring before sticking it in place in her left ear. "Thank... you. How generous of you Grog, just to put my mind at ease of course." Vex experimentally tapped at her ear, before holding a finger over it as Grog mimed for her. "Right, um, brother it's Vex'ahlia darling, where in the nine hells are you?"

"I'm about sister, avoiding Neria like the bloody plague. Long story, I'll tell you later." While it relieved Vex to hear her brother's voice almost immediately, Vax's comment had the half elven ranger giving the woman in question a curious glance as she heard her brother's soft footsteps in the background. "If you must know, I might have stepped in it by shaving off half of Grog's beard, and he showed a little more cunning than usual by getting some help from our two new friends."

"Ah, I see. That would explain why they've been acting as thick as thieves this morning." It was Vex's turn to stomp on Grog's foot underneath the table as she gave a smug looking Drow a borderline murderous glare. She relented, if only slightly, when she saw Neria looking decidedly uncomfortable, but she was still angry over the whole affair as she tapped at the earring once more. "Well, if you plan to come down to breakfast this morning, do tell me so I can save something for you Vax. As for Grog and his two new buddies, I'll handle them if I have to."

Vex found it incredibly odd by the almost horrified note in her brother's voice that immediately followed that angry declaration from her. "Oh you really don't want to do that, trust me."

"Relax Vax, I can handle myself, and why exactly are you so skittish around Neria? The woman wouldn't hurt a fly if it landed in her soup." Vex's statement was met with an embarrassed nod from the woman in question that had Giselle blowing out a resigned, exasperated breath in agreement. "So, what's going on brother? What's got you so nervous around such a sickeningly polite girl like her?" Vex asked, more like demanded, over the Whisper Earring. Taking her finger off the earring, Vex leaned closer to the wood elf. "Whatever this is, I want in. He's never this nice."

It was Neria's turn to perk up, having not expected Vex to be eager to get in on the fun as she looked up towards Grog at her side. "It is your call since this was your idea."

"I don't mind, go ahead and tell her. I'm just enjoyin' the show at this point." Grog said with a broad smile on his face.

Looking back to Vex just as Grog finished speaking, Neria blushed a little brighter as she began to reveal what it was she'd been a part of not ten minutes ago now. "We aren't going to do anything to your brother, just so we're clear. But we might have let him overhear us discussing what we could do. And... I might have suggested a particularly unpleasant-"

"She can curse people's naughty bits, so it hurts like a mother when ya, you know." Grog then proceeded to horrify the entire mess hall with his incredibly loud impression of orgasmic bliss that quickly turned to agonized flailing about.

"Okay Grog, we get the idea!" Vex yelled aloud, and summarily began to let a stream of curses fly from her lips because nearly every of their fellow companions had decided to come in just before Neria had explained what she had suggested.

"What, really?" Scanlan asked, having heard enough of the conversation by this point to have gotten the idea. He too grimaced in sympathy as his imagination supplied the rest, and he found that he had a newfound, slightly terrified, respect for the now furiously blushing wood elf. "Can I just say that I have always had a deep respect for clerics?" He asked, and while he was utterly respectful with his question, no one was fooled as to why he had asked it. He didn't have anything to worry about from Neria, but no one blamed him for his erring on the side of caution anyway.

Giselle looked almost dumbfounded at the mortified wood elf, before the barest hint of a satisfied grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Well, now that you know the game, what are you going to do about it?"

"Oh, well, I had planned to do nothing. I am quite happy to let this play itself out." Tiberius chimed in first and foremost as he too sat down at the table. "It is not often I hear of such a rather deviously clever ploy, no offense to the collective intelligence of those gathered here."

"None taken Tiberius." Vex deadpanned before her momentary frown gave way to her grin once more. "I'm all for keeping up the ruse though. Oh one second, I'm sure Vax is getting frantic." Vex said as she quickly reactivated the earring.

"Vex, what the hells? Why didn't you answer me?" Vax all but growled into his earring, of which more than a few of the group were able to hear either because they had their own tuned into the conversation, or because they were eavesdropping on those that did.

As such, Vex found it a little difficult to keep a straight face as she responded to her rightfully worried brother now that she was in on the little scheme. "Sorry darling, got distracted for a second. I'm well aware of what's going on now, and I understand why you'd be concerned. Our new cleric friend is quite the scary woman... but I've spoken with her and she seems quite reasonable." Vex punctuated that comment with a wink to Neria, who smiled and pulled a stray hair of her amber locks back behind her sharply pointed ear as she did.

"Reasonable?! Exactly what part of the horrors she intends to inflict on me seems reasonable?!" Vax shrieked in retort through his earring.

"I could have turned him into a woman instead." Neria offered with a shrug of her shoulders. While she wasn't entirely sure if she actually could, having focused far more on the healing aspects of her path, she had heard of some rather potent spells that could do a number of….equally unpleasant things equal to the Cursed Orgasm spell she knew about.

Scanlan broke out into belly deep laughter at that as he almost toppled over his seat while Pike just smiled and shook her head at the scene playing out around her.

"No, he'd probably enjoy it too much." Vex replied, instantly discarding the idea. "Come now brother, you can't hide on this ship forever."

"No but I can make a pretty solid effort. Oh look, a small island, might just tie a few dozen ropes together and take my chances with the fucking pirates." Vax retorted, all but ignoring the background noise of Scanlan laughing his little ass off.

"Oh calm down brother, she's right here, her face is about as red as Keyleth's hair right now. I doubt you have anything to worry about." While Neria still didn't look entirely comfortable with the situation despite her reluctant smile on her face, Keyleth was the one blushing brightly as she visibly struggled with the urge to laugh or cringe at where the conversation had turned. Vex patted the poor druid on the back and gave her a reassuring smirk before turning her attention back to her brother. "Please Vax, stay? You know I'll just come after you if you decide to jump ship."

"Only if you give me your word that, gods help me... that you'll protect me from her charms. She's far more cunning than she appears sister." It would have been impossible for Vax not to hear the massive burst of laughter from the entire table, minus a mortified Neria and a sympathetically smiling Vex.

Even Keyleth couldn't help but snicker a little good naturedly now, having relaxed amongst her good, close companions at last as she looked towards the embarrassed wood elf a few seats down from her. "I never would have guessed you could make Vax so….uncomfortable? I think that's the right word. Yeah, uncomfortable." She said with a firm nod of her head, confident she had gotten it right.

"Alright I think you've had you fun Grog. Brother, listen, it was all a harmless prank, now stop being silly and show yourself... And yes, I'll protect you from the mean, amber haired elf." Vex finished and gave said 'mean amber haired' elf a little wink to show she hadn't meant her words in the slightest.

"You'll forgive me if I still watch my back around her and her crazy friend…..but alright." Vax relented, an audible huff escaping him before he deactivated his Whisper Earring, which resulted in him missing the latest round of raucous laughs from most of the group as he made his way down to the mess hall.

Grog waited until Vax hesitantly entered the room before stage whispering to everyone around him. "Okay nobody tell him she's actually gonna curse his naughty bits now."

"Grog!" Vex yelled and stomped on his foot, again, which had the goliath pouting indignantly rather than in pain since, despite having been physically abused in that exact same fashion more than once thus far, he was quite the tough physical specimen. As such, pain didn't quite equal the same thing to the barbarian goliath, but Vex's withering glare had him reeling back a little. "Don't torture my poor brother anymore, alright?" She demanded once she was sure he had his full attention.

"Oh….alright, take all the fun out of it. Just wanted to avenge my poor beard that your brother cut off." He whined in retort, but said nothing else on the matter as Vax meanwhile, made it a point to make a very wide berth around the table where Neria and Giselle resided on either side of the still pouting goliath.

"She's not gonna bite you from back there or anything." Giselle droned at the rogue as he passed by. "You obviously haven't been paying any attention if you thought she'd actually harm you." Giselle considered her words for a moment, before giving her friend a teasing glance before turning her brown eyes fell on Vax once more. "Well, not without a very good reason at least." She added as an afterthought, much to Neria's embarrassed chagrin.

Vax decided to take a few more steps back, conveniently placing him by a plate of biscuits. "Oh I know she certainly seems like the charming, innocent sort, but I'll take my chances elsewhere, thanks. I like my junk unmolested….outside of a few very specific situations of course." He couldn't help but feel a little grin tug at his lips when his sister let out a horrified groan at his choice of words even as he pocketed a couple of the biscuits while everyone was distracted.

"Dear gods brother, I can't know that!" Vex moaned loudly, making it no secret she hadn't wanted to hear that.

Palming a few more biscuits while most of the group were focused on his sister, Vax looked towards Grog, Giselle, and Neria, his face perfectly neutral as he readied himself for what he was about to do by clicking his boots together. "And as for you three..." Biscuit shaped blades of death pelted each of them in the forehead. "Biscuit, biscuit, biscuit. Go fuck yourselves. Oh, and for the record, you were disturbingly convincing for a kind hearted cleric."

Giselle was the only one of the three that saw the improvised projectile coming her way, but even she was just a hair too slow to fully avoid it as it found the mark between her eyes. Grog and Neria were similarly unharmed, but for once, it was the cleric that lost all sense of propriety as she gave Vax a withering look that put his sister's to shame. Before anyone could stop her, she picked up a handful of mashed potatoes that had been on her plate, and promptly chugged them with surprising accuracy at the now no longer smug looking rogue. "No one beans me with a biscuit and gets away with it." Neria declared, the anger that had etched itself into her face having given way to no small amount of satisfaction.

"Well she certainly mashed your thunder." Scanlan quipped, right before Vex defended her brother's honor by dumping a bowl of gravy over the gnome's head. Taking a moment to stick his finger into one such glob that was currently running down his face, Scanlan nodded his approval of the taste when he sucked the gravy off of his little finger even as he gave Vex a deadpan glance. "Methinks the ranger doth protest too much, also who serves sausage gravy with mashed potatoes?" Having said his piece, Scanlan then shrugged, gathered up a handful of the same gravy Vex had dumped on his head, and threw towards a chuckling Grog's half bearded face. The goliath fell silent as he ever so slowly turned his head to look at the bard. When he saw the big man's eyes start to glow and his face begin to twist into an all too familiar rage filled visage, Scanlan chuckled nervously and started to back away from the table, very slowly. "E-easy Grog, no need to hurt your buddy Scanlan."

Scanlan wisely ducked when Grog not only threw a handful of gravy, but also the gravy bowl it came in towards the bard's head. Unfortunately, Pike happened to be sitting next to Scanlan, so when he ducked out of the way, the cleric at his side turned towards the bowl just in time to get a face full of gravy. When the bowl clattered to the floor, leaving Pike's face and hair splattered in brownish orange goop, Grog felt his jaw hit the floor as he realized too late that he had hit the wrong gnome.

"Ah, fuck! Sorry Pike." Grog muttered as he winced and handed the gravy coated cleric a steaming plate of mashed potatoes, with an especially guilty look.

Pike of course chose to show just how she fit in with the rest of the group, which meant that she retaliated in equal measure. At least, it looked like she was aiming at Grog, but her chosen projectile ended up finding a new home across Keyleth, Tiberius, and Vex, in that order as the mashed potatoes she'd been handed splattered across all three of them. Tiberius huffed and sighed at the antics of his fellows, but couldn't help the little smirk on his face even as Keyleth let out a girly shriek at being covered in mashed up potato guts. Vex only glared daggers at the table in general, before a mischievous grin started to appear on her face. "Well, I guess this means war. Brother?"

"Oh shit, what the fuck have I started. .. Not the face please." Vax sighed as Keyleth used a bowl of berries, with gleeful abandon, to give him an impromptu makeover.

Flipping the table with an almost casual push from his big, burly arms, Grog had a makeshift barrier between himself and half the room while Vax, Vex, Keyleth, and Tiberius soon had the other half of room to themselves and were quick to follow Grog's example by flipping the other table onto side.

"I feel like things just escalated." Neria muttered and ducked some food that was thrown roughly in her direction. To be fair, no one aimed too carefully at the moment, they all just threw food around, hoping to hit as many people as possible. She gave a yelp and ducked when Percy gave her an apologetic look just before a handful of strawberries rained down around her position behind the table.

Giselle just shrugged as she caught another biscuit that had been thrown over the table by Vax, and quickly flung it back towards Tiberius. "Technically Vax started it by throwing those damned biscuits." She retorted, only to hear a wet plop as a mushy potato glob hit Neria right on the side of her head from Vex when she ducked to avoid that same attack. Grimacing sheepishly at the unamused cleric, Giselle shrugged her shoulders again.

"WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HELLS HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MESS?!" Captain Damon roared, his voice cutting through the laughter and yelps as surely as a lightning strike, making everyone stop mid throw.

"What's it look like? I'm winning!" Grog declared exuberantly, ignoring the fact that no one else had been hit as often as himself.

"Well then, carry on. And when you're done..." Damon's face became hard as rock, and even Grog knew there would be seven different kinds of Hell to pay if they didn't follow his order to the letter as he growled, "Clean. Up. This. Mess." Having made his intentions known, Damon groaned and slapped a hand onto his forehead, all the while muttering, "just one more day. Just one more day and they're gone. Our gods damn new swabby is less trouble. Uggghhhh….never thought I'd be so happy to be in Vasselheim again."

Once Damon had wandered off, still muttering to himself with every step, the uneasy silence that had fallen was finally broken. "You heard the man," Tiberius said with an embarrassed harrumph before he cast Prestidigitation to clean up the majority of the splattered food globs that were all about the room and on most of his allies. Only Giselle seemed to be completely immaculate, although how she had managed that the sorcerer had no idea as little dust tornado like magical emanations sprung up all over the room, completely dissolving the mess down to far more manageable levels. There was still a mess, but now it was limited to small areas of the mess hall, not counting the flipped over tables at least, and those were quickly sorted out when Grog turned each one back onto its appropriate side.

"I would have won." Grog said with a surprisingly adorable pout, well adorable for goliath standards, other species… not so much. When Pike laughed and smiled up at him, Grog blushed and gave his long time friend a sheepish grin before seeing Lady Kima give the destroyed mess hall one look, and promptly turned on her heel with a suppressed snort of amusement of her own escaping her lips.

It took the better part of an hour to clean up after themselves, both the mess and themselves, but between the warm laughs, hearty, companionably slaps on the backs or shoulders of their fellows, Giselle and Neria couldn't help but share the mutual opinion that despite their initial hesitance in joining up with Vox Machina, they were quickly becoming quite fond of the group. Crazy and unusual as they were, they still had an unique charm and a feeling of familiarity that all other adventuring groups they had come across lacked. These people were family, and while most of them weren't related or similar to each other in the slightest, that didn't matter to them since they were still, in the truest sense of the word, family to each other. They'd do all they could to protect each other, to see each other succeed, to thrive, and maybe find a bit of happiness along the way.

Regardless of what would happen in the future, Neria knew that they'd always be happy to have met these truly special people, although perhaps not so much in the case of Lady Kima since she had tried to kill Giselle, but maybe they would even call her friend in time. Whatever the case, the day slowly wound down to a close, and with a few more applications of Prestidigitation thanks to Tiberius, the group started to find their way to their rooms for the evening. So when Neria felt a couple of eyes on her on her way back to her chambers and saw Lady Kima hesitantly looking her way, the wood elf turned to Giselle who had already started to get ready for the night, and gently shut the door between them. Turning to the halfling, Neria took a breath and started towards Kima, curious to hear what she had to say.

"You aren't boring, I'll give ya that much. Almost sorry I missed all the fun. But we paladins are above such foolishness. ... Most of the time." Kima finished and felt a sheepish little smile tug at her face, which widened a little when Neria returned the gesture with a shake of her head.

"Of course you are, most paladins I've met had a stick so far up their ass that-"

"Giselle!" Neria interrupted her friend's rant with a hiss and sent her a warning look when the ranger stuck her head out of their room. There was no need to antagonize the halfling paladin at the moment.

"This is usually the part where I make myself scarce anyway." Giselle muttered as she quickly shut the door.

However, Neria still felt a resigned, slightly annoyed sigh as she turned to Kima. "My apologies for my friend."

"No, she is right to be a bit miffed with me, and paladins in general. I imagine people like us don't really give her the time of day before jumping to the worst conclusions." That put Neria off her step a bit since she hadn't expected an apology from Kima, even if it didn't seem that way from the surface. The halfling shrugged her small shoulders and crossed her arms across her armored chest, before her head fell so that she was looking at the floor between them. "As much as I wanted to believe I was right about her, I am not too proud to admit my mistakes." When Kima started to walk away, Neria stopped her with a gentle hand on the bottom of her chin, before gently pushing the halfling's head back so they were staring into the other's face.

"I feel I must apologize as well, for acting so poorly the last time we spoke privately. Like you, I am not too proud to admit to my own shortcomings." Neria replied, her hand falling away from Kima's face. "I can rationalize it however I like, but that does not excuse me."

"You know… for a zealous miniature paladin with a chip on your shoulder, you aren't too bad, I guess." Giselle shouted through the closed door, though her voice sounded muffled as if she was speaking through a cushion.

"And I guess you aren't too bad for a corrupted underdark elf." Kima shouted back at the door, a fire dancing in her eyes. Apparently she wasn't too happy about the miniature remark. "And nothing is going to happen... like that!" Kima yelled, adding that little afterthought with a deep blush coloring her cheeks.

"See, you are almost friends already." Neria replied, a light giggle escaping her before she put a hand on Kima's shoulder. "And as I said before, nothing will happen that you do not wish to happen. If you wish to simply talk, then I am here. If you wish for something more, I'm more than agreeable in most circumstances."

"Th-thank you, but….I think talking will suffice." Neria nodded, having expected as much, and not just because of the fact that Kima was scarred in more ways than one. She guessed only one other person ever got the honor of seeing her without her armor, literal and otherwise, which oddly enough didn't make the cleric jealous in the slightest for something she didn't have but wanted in her own right. As such, when Kima silently beckoned her to follow her to her room once more, Neria was able to do so without a little, nagging part of her mind reminding her incessantly that she and Giselle didn't share the same level of intimacy Kima and Allura likely shared when no one was looking. "Well, here we are... again." Kima said as she awkwardly gestured to her room while Neria took the same seat she'd taken the first time she'd visited her at the start of their journey. Which left Kima sitting down on the bed with a nervous shuffle of her booted feet.

"Indeed, here we are again, Lady Kima." Neria agreed, hoping to set the paladin at ease now that they weren't nearly so ready to tear the other's head from their shoulders, unlike last time they had talked like this. That did bring to mind something however, something Giselle had told her shortly after their sparring match that had turned into an unexpected pirate attack, and Neria decided to take the chance. "I do not mean to be indelicate, but I was told that evening, after the pirate attack, Vax visited you." When Kima jerked her head upwards only to let it fall almost as quickly with a little nod, Neria knew she had chosen correctly. "He was worried." She stated rather than asked.

"Yeah….he was. And he had every right to be, although I had some harsh things to say about it at the time." Kima admitted softly before hesitantly looking up towards Neria's beautiful face. "I don't do weakness well, and….after being confronted with so many things that had left me a bit shaken, with the halfling, with your friend, who I still do not fully trust but I'm not about to hurt her….anymore, Vax's intrusion was the last straw at the time."

"It is not unusual at all for those who have suffered to wish to continue suffering in silence, rather than seek help. You were just not ready at the time to listen." Neria chose that moment to look down at her left hand, her eyes distant and unfocused for a reason Kima couldn't begin to guess why. "I understand that feeling." She muttered, her voice barely above a whisper before her blue eyes returned to their earlier brightness and vibrancy as she looked up once more. Deciding she had kept everyone, barring Giselle, in the dark long enough, Neria took a steadying breath before beginning a tale she had thus far kept solely to herself. "...When I was young my village was attacked, no one was spared. I watched as fathers, sons, and brothers were mercilessly slaughtered, while mothers, daughters, and sisters faced far worse than a quick death. I only escaped because my mother got me out, she sacrificed herself to ensure I lived, while the orcs that had swept down on our clan went about their bloody work."

"I'm so sorry." Kima quietly told the weeping elf as tears began to roll down her face, not knowing what else she could possibly say to assuage Neria's profound grief.

"I wish I could say that it is an old wound, and while it is old, it never stops hurting." The wood elf said bitterly and closed her eyes, but that hardly slowed down the tears that still found a way to fall. "I cannot even look at something even roughly resembling an orc without getting flashbacks. I can….at least talk to half orcs, but even that is a trial on a good day." Neria vigorously wiped at her eyes in a futile effort to erase the evidence of her tears, which refused to stop now that dam had been broken, and eventually gave it up for a lost cause. Instead she went back to why she had brought up her story in the first place. "What I...was trying to say, is that I understand, because I've been there. I am still there, and I am not at all surprised….that you are still enduring the same."

"I can see why you devoted your life to helping others deal with pain, physical or not. You truly do understand." Kima all but whispered as she started to wrap an armored hand over her pendant around her neck, before stopping herself and instead reaching for the bindings holding her heavy, steel and silver chestplate together. With a muttered curse, the halfling reached back behind her with both hands to start undoing the straps and bindings holding her armor together before pieces began flying in almost every direction, leaving her in a simple leather shirt and a pair of equally thin, leather breeches.

"Oh... I see, um, you've changed your mind." Neria said with the slightest bit of disappointment in her voice.

"No, I actually haven't." Kima replied with a shake of her head, and pulled her simple shirt up and turning around so that the wood elf could see her bare back. Neria had expected scars, but the sheer number of them just on the halfling's back alone was….astonishing. She couldn't see a single inch of the muscular woman's skin that didn't have a scarred cut left from the duergar that had had their hands on her for weeks before Vox Machina had found her. When she caught herself about to run her fingers along Kima's back, Neria stopped herself when the paladin flinched and tensed up, and so she quickly pulled her slender hand away. Pulling the shirt back down, Kima didn't turn back to face Neria, not that she blamed her, her own voice thick with unshed tears. "I haven't been able to look in the mirror…..since I got back. I've been scarred before, I've seen fighting many times, but this is….different. I was proud of those scars. I'm not proud of these." Kima softly told her as she gestured to her back. "The front is no better….but the strange thing is, it's not for me I care so damned much, but….but-"

"But what Allura will think." Neria finished for her, to which Kima only nodded, her back still to the cleric. She only reacted when she felt the bed shift, and soon felt a soft, tender caress run along her covered back. While she tensed up and almost jumped away from Neria, Kima forced herself to stay. "You care about her." Kima only nodded again, unable to speak. "Would it be safe to say you love her?"

"Y-yes." The halfling managed to choke out, and slowly began to relax as Neria's soft touch against her back. There was nothing sexual about the touch, no romantic overtures of any sort, she was simply touching her cloth covered back, nothing more. It might not have seen like much to an outside observer, but to Kima, she was quite thankful for the woman's gentle caresses that were equal parts relaxing to the tension filled halfling, and a silent acknowledgement she was still worthy of another's touch at all.

Neria chose her next words with the utmost care as she continued to touch Kima with the tenderness of a mother tending to her child after a horrible nightmare, her voice whisper soft yet more than loud enough for the woman in front of her to hear every word. "Then you have no reason to be ashamed, these scars show what you have endured in your time as a warrior. And I think that Lady Allura admires you for your strength to endure these hardships, rather than to look upon them in disgust. She asked me to help you after all, knowing full well the hardships you had endured, or rather, she understood them enough to take steps by asking me to do what I could for you."

Kima couldn't stop the snort of choked laughter that escaped her at the thought. "That's Lura alright, she always knows me better than I know myself." Finally looking over her shoulder at Neria, Kima reached around and gently pulled her hand off her back and set it on the bed. "Th-thank you, but I….think I'll just be happy to get some sleep if it's all the same to you."

"Alright. Sleep well Ki-" Neria started to get to her feet, but the hand still gently wrapped around hers tightened its grip, and the wood elf looked down before her eyes flicked to Kima in mild bewilderment.

"Where are you going?" Kima asked with a hint of a grin. "You think I'd pass up a golden opportunity to drive your friend nuts?" Despite having just shed more than a few tears with an almost equally troubled halfling, Neria couldn't help but feel her lips pull up into a mischievous smile at what Kima was insinuating. "And, maybe I just don't want to be alone." Kima quietly added, averting her gaze at that slightly ashamed bit of honesty.

"I suppose not." Neria admitted with a small chuckle and shook her head. "Alright, if it helps you, then who am I to argue?" She didn't directly comment on Kima's almost whispered request for someone to keep her company throughout the night, choosing instead to act the part of co-conspirator in a mutual desire to have a bit of fun at Giselle's expense. Kima had come a long way, so Neria was content to keep up the act for her sake even if the truth was known only to them. Instead, the wood elf cleric nodded solemnly as she sat back down next to Kima and gently brushed aside some of the woman's red, messy locks off of her scarred face. "I can't say that it'll ever get completely better, Kima, but it does get easier to bear."

"Sp-speaking from experience?" Kima asked, but she already knew the answer. Even a blind person could have seen the way the dark elf hovered protectively about the beautiful cleric currently in her bed.

"Yes, unfortunately." Neria admitted quietly and closed her eyes. "It takes time, patience and friends, but it is possible. For now though… let's concentrate on sleeping, and when we wake up, we'll almost be in Vasselheim." Kima nodded and surprised Neria when she threw her small arms tightly around her neck, burying her head against the cleric's shoulder before she remembered herself and pulled away with a little yelp and a bright tint coloring her cheeks once more. Neria chuckled warmly but smiled endearingly down towards the paladin before gesturing towards the bed that would just be big enough for them both to share with some comfort.

Just as they had laid down, with Neria's back against the wall and one arm draped almost protectively around Kima's waist, the blankets pulled up to the halfling's neck, the cleric saw a pair of brown eyes in between the ever so slightly open door and the frame. She nodded to the dark elf, which was more than enough for Giselle to take her meaning and disappear just as quickly without a word. Kima remained completely unaware of this, having already fallen into peaceful sleep for the first time in what likely felt like months for her.

A few miles from Vasselheim, on the continent of Isilra

A dark hand casually tapped against a leather holster, impatient as it was callused. "You certain that we ain't wastin' our time?" The half orc, dusky skinned, large and muscular just like most of his kind, yet with sharply pointed ears and an unmistakable gleam in his piercing gray eyes that marked him as something more, asked his companion and shrugged his shoulders once to get his duster into a more comfortable position. Slightly curved tusks jutted from both sides of the orc's mouth, and a well kept thick mane of silver hair adorned his head, yet another odd trait for his kind.

Having rode up to the borders of the ancient bastion of human civilization, with its gigantic, thick stone high walls, covered in dragon headed ballistae and manned with dozens of guards at any given time, the half orc knew when to shut up and just follow his companion when he had one of his many visions and started spouting some crazy nonsense and such prophecy or another. But the imposing, militaristic stronghold was beginning to make him have second, third, and fourth thoughts about their latest venture. It was well known by all who planned to visit Vasselheim that there was no way to enter the city except by foot, since it was considered a religious pilgrimage given the dozens of temples and holy sites dedicated to almost every goodly god and goddess in existence, and while the city was also devoted to a massive cobalt mining complex from the mountain the fortress itself was a part of, most of the city's occupants that remained didn't stick around because this place was comfortable or particularly inviting. They chose to stay because they were too stubborn to leave.

"Yes, those under the banner of the speaking machine should arrive soon. We must make haste if we wish to arrive before them." His companion replied quietly, voice barely above a whisper. The man shifted slightly in the saddle of his horse, black armor clad every inch of his body and seemed to soak up all of the early morning light that fell upon it. In stark contrast to that was his spear which he held in his right hand, it shone with a white light, like a single beam of moonlight given the form of a weapon. Other than that, he carried a shield with him, and a sword both the same color as his armor. As were the feathers on the sides of his elaborate helmet. "You know I would not bother you were it not important. I know you have your own mission to fulfil."

"Meh, it can wait. 'Sides Fenix, you haven't been wrong before, except when you lost me a fair bit of coin during that little gambling run in Emon a few years back." The half orc chuckled wryly as he felt rather than saw his heavily armored friend's slightly annoyed glare on his back at the reminder.

"I am honoured by your trust in my capabilities, I will do my best not to disappoint." The newly identified Fenix replied and lowered his head for a moment. "That said… if you ever find those you seek, call me for as long as you need me. On that day, I shall not fight for prophecy but as a friend, as you have done for me many times before during our time together."

"I know ya'll will, but till then, best we don't count our chicks 'fore they hatch. We still gotta get the horn first don't ya think?"

"Indeed Malvos." The black knight agreed and gently nudged his horse forward, deeper into the almost primordial forest that stretched out in every direction. Everything on this side of the Ozmit Sea was bigger though, so the fact that their surroundings were equally imposing wasn't all that surprising, but they had far bigger things on their minds than the sights.

"Just for my own peace of mind, why exactly can't we just let the silver bellies deal with this whole damn mess again?" Malvus asked as his gray eyes fell on a flicker of movement, a giant snake like head sticking up above the tree line before it disappeared just as quickly. His hand instinctively fell to the holster on his left hip, but when he saw no further movement, he relaxed, albeit only a little. Hydras and other giant beasts were pretty common around the city of Vasselheim, and with an entire guild dedicating to hunting down such creatures, business was pretty good for those that were able to survive the ordeals of hunting down the marked targets and bringing back their corpses in exchange for the bounties.

"If it were possible we would not be here. I am not certain what exactly happened, but the prophecy spoke of temple walls running thick with blood." Fenix replied and looked around, the warrior didn't trust the sudden stillness that had fallen over them.

"And a speakin' machine needs help our help huh? Beside the fact I have not the slightest idea what that means, it's awfully vague if ask me, which ya didn't." Malvus replied, having grown used to the vague bits of foresight his friend was prone to spout out, sometimes at the worst times possible. Yet Fenix had never failed him when it mattered, and traveling with a man that had reliable visions as regularly as he did meant life was never boring.

"It's a prophecy Malvos, they are always vague." The knight replied with some humor creeping into his quiet voice. "I am certain that we will recognize them once we see them, two others were mentioned that travel with them. A child of the woods and sorrow, and the other the flesh of Daermon N'a'shezbaernon. The first is easy enough, but the second I cannot say, not without more to act upon."

"Ah, right. Explains everythin'. Well, guess we'll find out soon enough I 'spose." The half orc gunslinger paused for a moment and grinned towards his truly strange friend. "That certainly does sound like a fancy Drow name... reckon I might bed some fine noble like lady?" Malvos said with a shrug of his broad shoulders as he too gently nudged his horse along at a swifter pace. Just because he was willing to go along with Fenix's latest gods given quest, didn't mean he couldn't poke fun at him a little. "So….whatcha ya reckon our chances are of endin' this little trip at the nearest tavern once all's said and done?"

"In this case, I doubt it my friend. And if by tavern you mean the nearest house of ill repute, then I am certain you will find your way there somehow." The armored human shot back with a barely audible chuckle. "Knowing you, it could very well be that I find you in the arms of a lady of pleasure before the end of our little trip."

"And you didn't even need another vision to see that." Malvos chuckled in turn, and gave his friend a broad, toothy grin as they made their way towards Vasslheim's main city gates. While he did his best to ignore the sound of the old, wrought iron gates as a number of gears ground and screeched slowly pulled them open to allow them inside, Malvos couldn't help but hear the sound of horrendous screaming in place of the screech. And with how his friend believed in his visions and signs that he regularly saw, regardless if he wanted to or not, the half orc couldn't help but wonder if this would end as it normally did. With more than a few heads leaving their shoulders.