Chapter Seven


~ Katniss ~


It's nearly midnight when Haymitch pats my shoulder and tells me that he's heading home for the night. I nod and thank him for staying up with me, but I refuse to leave Peeta, and Haymitch doesn't try to convince me otherwise. After a nurse comes to check in on us, I crawl into bed with my husband and snuggle against his chest, letting my free arm drape across his body. And when I kiss his forehead before nodding off myself, I try not to think about how he will feel in the morning, when he finds out what I've done.

But morning comes all too soon, and I'm woken by the broken morning tones of Peeta's voice.

"Katniss? Sweetie, you should be at home…"

I lift my head so that I can meet his eyes, but they're clear and concerned and full of the simple love that sunrise brings. He doesn't know yet. I sink back down against him, and he sighs, shifting to check his IV.

"I won't leave you," I whisper, taking his fingers in mine.

"Evidently not," Peeta laughs, squeezing my hand. "Thanks for staying with me. I hope you managed to get some sleep."

"Mmmhmm," I acknowledge drowsily.

Peeta reaches over to hit the nurse's call button. "It's Peeta Mellark," he says after we're greeted by a cheerful nurse on the morning shift. "I'm awake, ready to head home if it's okay with Dr. Archer."

"How are you feeling?" I ask him, sitting up and stretching my arms above my head. Peeta sighs.

"I'm okay. The medicine helped a lot. It's the first time I've been able to sleep through the night since the episode. I just…" he closes his eyes. "It's a lot, Katniss. But I did what I had to do… if I had hurt you…"

There's a soft knock at the door, and then Dr. Archer enters. He smiles at me before glancing at his clipboard, but he looks tired.

"Mr. Mellark," he says thoughtfully as he checks Peeta's chart. "Did the medication help last night?"

"Yes," Peeta replies brightly, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Dr. Archer hurries over to help him remove the IV, and then motions for Peeta to hold out his arm so that he can get his blood pressure.

"Fantastic. So we'll keep that in your routine for at least a couple of days, probably put you on something stronger after the surgery, and- "

"No," Peeta interrupts firmly. "No surgery, remember? I'm not going back there."

I shake my head at Dr. Archer, and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"Katniss?" Dr. Archer asks, gesturing at his clipboard where I know he must have the paperwork that I signed last night.

I take a deep breath. "Peeta, you're not going to be able to walk on a prosthetic until your leg heals, and you need the surgery to repair the damage that- "

"No, Katniss," Peeta argues, pulling away from me. "I'm not going. You can't make me, and I'm not going."

"Peeta," I whisper, and my voice breaks. Dr. Archer purses his lips and watches me sympathetically as I wrap my arms around my husband. "I signed the papers," I confess, my eyes burning with tears.

Peeta's eyes grow wide, and he opens his mouth as though he's about to protest, but then understanding hits him, and he closes his eyes and hangs his head.

"Peeta. Peeta, please. Talk to me," I beg, stroking his back and leaning in to try to meet his eyes.

"Please go," he whispers.

"Peeta, it's for the best- "

"You need to leave me," he insists, beginning to tremble. But when I hold him more tightly, he pulls away.

"Peeta, it'll all be over before you know it- "

"I want my crutches," he says firmly, easing himself down from the bed. He steadies himself against the mattress until he's standing above me. Dr. Archer steps slowly toward Peeta and gives him a warning stare.

"Mr. Mellark, please sit down," he orders, but Peeta takes a bold hop forward and grabs his IV stand, and then the wall, gritting his teeth with the force of the movements.

"I'm leaving," he protests. "Call Haymitch. I'm going home."

"Peeta," I try again, climbing off his bed and moving in toward him with Dr. Archer. But I'm not thinking about what this looks like to Peeta, and I'm too late when I realize that I've effectively cornered him. He begins to hyperventilate, gasping for air and then whimpering as he slides down to the floor. I kneel and offer him my embrace, but his eyes are wild with fear and he cowers away from my arms.

"How could you, Katniss? Please. Please don't make me go. You can change your mind. Tell them not to make me go."

I reach for Peeta's hands, but he jerks them away and pulls them against his chest.

"Peeta, you're going to be okay. I'm going with you. Haymitch, too. You'll just be in the hospital, you can meet with Dr. Aurelius, and then you'll be able to walk again."

He narrows his eyes at me, and then looks up at Dr. Archer.

"Show me the paperwork. I want to see her signature."

Dr. Archer begins to protest, but I exchange a challenging glance with him, and he caves in. It's painful, but Peeta should be able to see what I've done. Dr. Archer slips the papers out from the stack on his clipboard and holds them just out of Peeta's reach, but close enough so that my husband can read where I've signed his sense of security away. I watch Peeta's eyes as he follows the list of statements that I checked before signing at the bottom. At first, he shakes his head in disbelief, but by the time he reaches the bottom, his body looks deflated. He slumps his shoulders, tilts his head back against the wall, and closes his eyes.

"Sedation. Transport. Anaesthesia. Surgery. Psychotherapy. Medications. Evaluations. Physical therapy. Follow-up appointments. You've really covered all the bases, Katniss. Mentally disoriented, ha. Well, given my inability to make competent medical decisions for myself, I'm really glad that you're keeping up on what's best for me."

"Peeta…" I reach out to touch his cheek, but he slaps my hand away.

"Sedate me," he laughs, his eyes still closed. "You said they could do it. Make it happen, Katniss. Haul me onto the hovercraft. Cut me open and try to put me back together."

"It's not like that," I protest softly, and Peeta opens his eyes.

"But isn't it, Katniss? Isn't it?"

"Peeta… those things are only for if you won't come willingly… you're allowed to put yourself on the hovercraft, and if you're cooperative, this should all be easy…"

"Easy! Oh, joy, Katniss. Easy!" he glares up at Dr. Archer. "Did you put her up to it?" he demands. "Or… Haymitch. Haymitch, right, Katniss? I'd like to believe that this wasn't entirely my wife's idea."

"Peeta, please, it's for the best- "

He laughs. "The best. So, Katniss, tell me. What else can you do to me that's for the best? Why don't you just start by locking me up in a psych ward, and you can go from there, hmm?"

I crawl over to sit beside him, tuck my knees against my chest, and rest my head on his shoulder. Peeta sighs, but he doesn't try to push me away.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "Please, Peeta. Try to understand."

"I'm trying. If you were sorry, you wouldn't be doing this to me."

I reach for his hands, and he surrenders them.

"I'm going to meet Haymitch downstairs," Dr. Archer says softly, and I nod without taking my eyes off of Peeta. I try to warm his fingers between mine, squeezing them gently between my palms.

"Do you really think that I'm crazy?" he asks after a few minutes. "Do you really think that I can't be trusted to make my own medical decisions?"

"No, Peeta. It's not like that," I insist.

"Then tell them so," he pleads, opening his eyes and gazing into mine with his soul completely bared. "Tell them I can decide these things for myself."

"No, Peeta," I whisper. "You need that surgery."

"So you do think I'm crazy. Mentally disoriented. My own wife thinks so." He shakes his head in disbelief.

"I love you, Peeta. Can't you see?" I take his face in my hands and move to kiss him, but he pulls away.

"Then don't do this to me," he begs. "Katniss, please, if you love me, don't make me go back there. Please, Katniss."

I'm grateful when Haymitch opens the door and slips in with Dr. Archer.

"Peeta, I know this isn't want you wanted," he says bluntly, "but the hovercraft should be here in a couple of hours, and you need to eat breakfast."

Peeta gazes up at Haymitch and narrows his eyes.

"Remember to drug me while you're at it," he warns. "Because if you all think I'm getting on that hovercraft willingly, you're out of your minds."

"Note taken," Haymitch replies curtly, but the hurt in his eyes says otherwise.


Many thanks to Jedi1, THG Fan, Guest, jypzrose, fyrebirdrises, and MiaBelles for their support!

Guest - updating as often as I can! :)

fyrebirdrises - good questions! In my understanding of Katniss and Peeta, Katniss heals faster - she's dealing with severe depression at the end of Mockingjay, and will struggle with PTSD for the rest of her life, but Peeta is dealing not only with these things, but also with the aftermath of his hijacking. I always saw the discussion of her mental health in the Capitol as more of a loophole to avoid her execution than anything else, as legitimate as her problems were - and figured that once she had returned to District 12, her "mentally disoriented" status would be quietly removed, whereas Peeta's continued struggles would be more obvious. I would definitely suspect some Haymitch input here, although he's got enough PTSD issues himself! Given that Peeta loved Katniss before his hijacking and that the strength of their love was pretty evident through his efforts to recover from his hijacking, I don't think that there would have been doubt about their eligibility to marry each other, especially with Haymitch's support... okay I'm rambling :) I could see how it could all be interpreted in so many different ways, but that's roughly my take! Hope that helps - thanks for asking!