MPK: MY FAVORITE EPISODE HAS ARRIVED. THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY.

Hunny: DISCLAIMER: MPK ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT OWN OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB. BISCO HATORI AND A COUPLE OTHER CORPORATIONS DO. SHE JUST OWNS JAY! AND AN ABRIDGED QUOTES DO NOT BELONG TO HER THEIR! JUST SAYIN'.

MPK: Thanks Hunny.

Hunny: You're welcome! Enjoy the new chapter!


EPIC BEGINNING THEME MUSIC

"Let's all play the 'Which one of us is Hikaru' game!"

"What's up with the green hats? What they tryin' to look like, your neighborhood paper boyz?" Jay laughed.

Haruhi glared, "That's not funny."

"But you know I'm right though."

The twins' customers chuckled and clapped. "So? Can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?" All the girls kinda hesitated, "Many ladies have tried to tell us apart, but so far none of them have succeeded."

"Pfft. Afffffffferfer." Jay murmured as she and Haruhi walked by their table. Haruhi snickered knowing what she really had said.

The twins turned to them, "I'm sorry, did you want to say something too us?"

"You don't need to know." Haruhi told them still giggling slightly, "Anyway that's the dumbest game I've ever heard of."

"What? Have you got problem with it Haruhi, Jay?"

Jay raised an eyebrow, "And what if we did?"

"Then you'd be the only ones! Either go Google it or get with the program."

An anime vein mark appeared on Jay head, "Look, if you what to have a pack battle, I could take you both on right here, right now. And within 2 minutes be done with ya both!"

The twins became intrigued, "Then bring it on!" They said in unison.

Jay was about to start, but Haruhi jumped in the middle, "Hey stop it! Now's not the time guys!"

"Pfft. Whatever." The twins crossed their arms.

Haruhi turned to Jay, "Jay, you don't want to gain more debt do you?"

Jay placed her hands on her hips, "HA! My debt can go right up Kyoya's..." Haruhi slapped a hand over her mouth.

"JAY!" Haruhi shouted, "WHAT IF HE HEARD YOU!?" She whispered frantically.

Jay removed her hand, "So What? Its true. And I won't deny it! You know what? My debt can go up Kyoya's..." Haruhi covered her mouth again but Jay pushed it off again, "...along with Tamaki's d~"

"JAY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT THERE!"

"OH! DAMN!" The twins shouted in unison again laughing their asses off, "I KNOW WHERE THAT ONE WAS GOING!"

Hazel, one of Jay's customers from before, tugged on her sleeve, "What do you mean? What were you going to say?"

Jay smirked then told her, "If you know what a doujinshi is, then you'd know what I was talking about."

"Come on!" Haruhi pushed Jay forward from behind, "Lets get you away from these troublemakers! Honestly, I just don't understand why those two are so popular..."

The twins jumped in front of them, "WHOA. THAT WASN'T VERY NICE!"

"I'm disappointed." Hikaru told the 2 girls.

"Apparently you don't understand the merits to having a pair of twins as members of the host club." Kaoru continued. The twins slung an arm around the two girls, Hikaru's on Jay's, Kaoru's on Haruhi's.

Hikaru started to explain, "Listen up! Having a couple of good looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns the club high points. It also helps if the two struggle between their attraction and their friendship."

"And in our case we're twins, so our relationship is taboo, and therefore more intriguing." Kaoru explained further before he took the chin of one of their customers, "Besides, who hasn't fantasized about twins? Having two loves is better than one don't you think?" He purred in her ear.

"It's a young woman's fantasy." Hikaru purred in the other ear.

The girl blushed violently , "Um, yeah. Oh! I can't take it!" She squealed. The twins then looked at the cross-dressing host and smirked confidently. But that didn't last long...

"HIKARU! KAORU!" Their smirks suddenly flipped into frowns as Tamaki skidded on the elegant tile floor halting in front of them, "When I gave you control of the club's website, I did so on one condition! That you take it seriously!"

"We take our job very seriously, Boss. In fact, last night we worked on it till dawn." They insisted.

"Is this what you worked so hard to create?!" Tamaki showed us the pictures on the laptop...all of Haruhi shirtless, but, with a male chest. Haruhi froze in shock. A whole bunch of girls almost knocked the host over to see them.

"Well yeah boss." The twins told him all casual, "We we're planning on doing shots of Jay next." Jay gained an anime vein mark.

"I'm so appalled right now, its ridiculous..." Jay tried to control herself in order to not make a scene in front of the ladies.

Tamaki demanded shaking the twins violently, "Tell me when! When did you take naked pictures of Haruhi!?" Tamaki shook his head of his weird thoughts, "You bribed her! Didn't you?!"

"You're imagining things." The twins said, "It's obvious that the photos have been altered." Tamaki froze.

He looked at them, "You mean they were photoshopped?"

"Well yeah, but don't worry Boss. I bet the photos of Jay will look even better." Kaoru told him.

Hikaru agreed and whispered, "Yeah. I mean come on, she's even more flat-chested than Haruhi. Maybe we won't need to photo shop anything..." Jay's anime vein mark grew, she wanted to hit someone now. That's when Haruhi snapped out of it & held Jay back.

Tamaki suddenly angered, "You idiots! That's a waste of your skill! Have you no shame?!" Out of nowhere he grabs a magazine out of his pocket, "But...while your at it, do you think you could photo shop them into this idol photo book? Please! Please!?"

"Don't be silly, Boss. Just ask them if they would where an outfits like that." Tamaki had a light bulb.

"I never thought to ask them..." Tamaki left then came back over holding two pink dresses, "What do you think about these dears?" He asked Jay and Haruhi.

"Tama-chan, why are you going to do with those dresses?" Hunny asked him. The customers agreed with Tamaki. They wanted to see what Haruhi and Jay would look like dressed as girls. They were so excited they squealed. Both crossdressers sighed and glared at Tamaki making him go away. They then turned their attention to the twins.

"Now cut it out. Don't make anymore weird pictures of me or Jay, you got that?" Haruhi growled at them.

"Whatever." They both sighed in boredom, "Haruhi, Jay. Next time we get break, can we visit you're houses?"

"What? No way!?"

"Hell naw! Are you two crazy?"Jay folded her arms, "Just what do you guys take us for anyway?"

"Isn't that obvious?" The twins grinned evilly, "You're our toys."

"TOYS?"

EPISODE TITLE: Ginger Twins Fight!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' TOYS?!"

"You want to play with toys?" A deep, dark voice came from the door, "Toys. Toys! If you like toys, than you should come visit my black magic club. We have all the black magic items that you could ever need. Come now and you could get a free Belzenef the curse doll." A guy with black hair wearing a black cloak said. He stood in the doorway with a candelabra & a cat puppet in his hands.

"Why is he talking to us through a door?" Haruhi asked, "Wait a second, has that door even been there before?"

Suddenly Kyoya came up behind them, "Nekozawa-sempai likes to hide and doesn't like brightly lit places."

"Don't get involved with that guy." Tamaki warned, "If you do, you'll end up being cursed!"

"Do you have any basis for that?" Haruhi asked.

Tamaki cringed remembering something and started to explain, "Yes, it happened at final exams at the end of the last school year. It's terrifying just thinking about it. I stepped on that weirdo Nekozawa's curse doll Belzenef..." A shiver went down his spine, "After that I took my exam and the entire test was written in some strange lettering! I looked to the others around me for help, and I realized I knew none of them! I was all alone in a different world!" The host were surprised and a little intimidated by his words, but Kyoya cleared that up real quick.

Hikaru smirked, "Wow, this guy really hates the dark in more ways than one."

Kaoru held up a flashlight, "If he supposedly hates bright lights, what will he think of this then? Lets find out..." The twins pointed the flashlight in Nekozawa-sempai's direction, which caused him to get the hell out of the host club.

"BLOODY MURDERS!" He screamed as he left. The twins shrugged at his reaction not really caring then tried to walk away. But Tamaki stopped them.

"How on Earth could you do such a thing? Obviously you two don't know about the true terror of black magic!"

"Oh no Boss!" Hikaru cried, "Nekozawa-sempai left his curse doll here!"

Kaoru screeched and pointed to Tamaki's feet, "And you're stepping on it!" Tamaki screeched, jumped into the air and backed up into a wall. The twins laughed so hard tears spilled out of their eyes.

Tamaki angered, "THAT DOES IT! YOU TWO ARE ON PUNISHMENT!" He held out two sweaters, one orange, the other baby blue, "THAT'S RIGHT! I'M PUTTING YOU TWO ON TIME-OUT! BOTH OF YOU THESE ON! HIKARU!" He held out the baby blue sweater, the one that was for Hikaru, in between the twins. The both just stared at him, waiting to see if he was going to give it to the right twin. But when he didn't he try to figure it out and began to look confused, the real Hikaru sighed and took it from him. Tamaki gave the other sweater less twin, Kaoru, making them put them on.

For the next 2 days, the Hitachiin twins' corner was silent & the boys were put on chore duty. They were still forced to wear the sweaters too, plus they couldn't talk to anyone, not even each other. That made them frown the most.

"Look who are the host club's dogs now? Don't forget to buy us some more commoners coffee!" Jay had to crack a joke, making Haruhi and her burst into laughter. The twins glared, hatred filling there eyes, which was very out of character for the brothers. The girls quickly silenced and stepped back slightly frightened. They walked back to their customers, "What the hell is wrong with them? Those glares almost pierced right through me!"

"I don't know. Maybe they're just upset they got punished. But we had to do the same things when we were errand boys, so why are they so mad? We didn't complain." They shrugged.

"Haruhi, Jay." They looked at one of Haruhi's fangirls, "Its so much easier to tell the twins apart now that they are wearing different attire. And we know Hikaru parts his hair on the right and Kaoru's is on the left. But are there other ways to tell the two apart? It seems you guys are so good at it." Haruhi and Jay looked at each other. The two thought for a moment and then Jay gestured for Haruhi to go first.

"Well, if I had to think of a way I'd tell them apart...I'd say Hikaru's words and actions make him kinda come across a little more evil than Kaoru." Hikaru's eyes widened in shock.

"My explanation is basically like Haruhi's. Mine theory is more along the lines of Kaoru seeming a little more innocent than Hikaru emotionally..." Hikaru got stabbed in the back with an arrow. "...and physically as in his expressions." An arrow then stabbed him in his torso, Kaoru started laughing.

"I'm sorry Hikaru. I don't mean to laugh, but..." Kaoru laughed harder.

Hikaru spoke defensively, "Well, I don't see what's so funny! I'm honest, I speak my mind, and I don't try to hide it! But lets be honest here, the real evil lurks in you, Kaoru." Kaoru stopped his laughter, turning to glare seriously at his brother.

"Don't turn this on me Hikaru. After all, I'm the one who is always going along with your selfish games."

"I may suggest them, but you're the one who really takes off and runs with them, Kaoru. If you hate it so much than why don't you just stop?"

"I'd just hate to see you make an ass of yourself in front of everyone." Kaoru countered, aggressively might I add, "It was your idea to call Haruhi and Jay our toys. But I noticed that you were quick to make a pass at Haruhi. You're actually quite fond of little miss commoner, aren't you? I mean you sure like to touch her a lot..." Hikaru gasped, Kaoru had said this so casually.

"Are you kidding me!?" Hikaru started to blush, "You've got it all wrong, Kaoru! You're such a freaking idiot!"

Tamaki suddenly shouted, "There are things in this world that should never be said!"

"Why in the world would I fall for her? She looks like a..." Jay covered Haruhi's ears.

"What did he call me?!"

"You don't worry about it."

"Besides, everyone knows you're in love with Jay!" Kaoru widened with shock then started to shake with anger, "Doesn't like how it feels huh?"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN GO THERE!" Kaoru began shouted, "DON'T YOU DARE EVEN PUT ME AND HER IN THE SAME SENTENCE!" Renge suddenly came out of the floor on a platform.

"This is perfect! Our beloved Haruhi and Jay are in the middle of a five sided romantic relationship. And to make it even more exciting, Jay and Haruhi's admirers are twins torn apart by love! Just the thought of it could make me eat three bowls of rice!"

The twins stopped arguing to say, "Bud out Otaku!" Then continued to quarrel.

"You guys are meanies! You shouldn't say things like that to your manager!" She cried.

Tamaki walked over trying to calm her down, "But Renge, I thought you had feelings for Jay as well?"

"Oh I'm in love with Jay and Haruhi!" Renge made clear, "They're my rescuers! But I have no problem with them having an homosexual relationship on the side."

"Cut it out all ready!" Hikaru shouted, "You're the one who is always crawling into my bed! Talk about annoying!"

"I only do that because you look lonely! I wouldn't choose to sleep in your bed, you idiot!" Kaoru shot back.

"You idiot! You're pathetic in math!"

"You're failing French, ya big dummy!"

"The way you grind you're teeth is defining!"

"At least I don't toss and turn so much that I fall out of bed!"

"SEX PIXIE!"

"SICKO!"

"YOU MOMMA WEARS TOO MUCH MAKEUP!" They shouted in unison.

"Don't they have the same mom?" Jay asked. The other hosts shrugged.

"THAT'S IT WE'RE OVER!"


INTERMISSION...


MPK: IMMA PAUSE AND STOP HERE. TO BE CONTINUED...