*NOTE: I don't own Deadliest Warrior, Marvel, or DC—boy, I wish I did, though. All names used here, with the exceptions of the three men from Deadliest Warrior, are purely fictional, and belong to their creators. If you have any questions or suggestions for fights, send them in to me—I personally read every one, folks. Now, without any further ado, here it is—the match you've all been asking for. :-)

All statements by the All-Seeing Narrator (AKA the truly awesome David Wenham) are in ITALICS.

Deadliest Villain: Deathstroke vs. Deadpool

As the show begins, we see a tall man wearing a black-and-orange ninja-like outfit, accentuated with patches of armor. He glares at the camera through a black-and-orange mask that only has one eyehole.

Deathstroke the Terminator: the deadly assassin-for-hire whose brutality and complete lack of mercy for his opponents are legendary.

We see Deathstroke kicking a man in the stomach, sending him back, then shooting him in the head with a pistol.

We now see another man wearing a similar ninja-like outfit, only his is red-and-black. He holds two katanas crossed in front of his face, then draws them away to reveal a red-and-black mask covering his face.

Deadpool: the maniacal mercenary-for-hire whose mental instability and regenerative properties are the stuff of legends.

We see Deadpool stabbing an attacker with one of his katanas before turning around and shooting another with a submachine gun.

WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?

We now see a montage of numerous comic book-themed weapons being tested.

To find out, our world-class fighters are testing the villains' most lethal weapons. Using 21st-century science, we'll see what would happen if the two villains went toe-to-toe—no rules, no safety, no mercy. Supervillain vs. supervillain. Marvel vs. DC. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is…

THE DEADLIEST VILLAIN!

As the title sequence ends, we find ourselves back in the all-too-familiar fight club.

Welcome to the fight club. In this high-tech, state-of-the-art battle zone where comic book characters meet the real world, we've gathered scientists, doctors, weapons experts, and some of the deadliest weapons of all time. It's all to create a virtual battle between two legendary mercenaries: Deathstroke the Terminator, the heartless mercenary who has crossed swords with the Teen Titans, Batman, and many other heroes, versus Deadpool, the mentally unstable anti-heroic mercenary with a mouth to match his battle expertise.

Deathstroke Stats
Real name: Slade Wilson
Ht: 6'4"
Wt: 225 lbs
Gear: 26 lbs
Armor: Promethium
Superpowers: Enhanced strength and mental abilities, regenerative properties

Deadpool Stats
Real name: Wade Wilson
Ht: 6'2"
Wt: 210 lbs
Gear: 19 lbs
Armor: None
Superpowers: Superhuman strength, regenerative properties

Biomedical scientist Geoff Desmoulin will use high-tech equipment to analyze each weapon.

"I'm super psyched about this match-up," declares Desmoulin. "I'm gonna get to bring all my equipment to test the weapons of two of the most bad-ass mercenaries in comic book history; Deathstroke and Deadpool. It's gonna be awesome."

UFC and E.R. doctor Armand Dorian will examine each strike to measure their killing potential.

"Based on what I see from each weapon, I'll be telling you what wounds a person could walk away from, and which would actually kill someone," Dr. Dorian explains.

And computer whiz Max Geiger will load the data into the computer simulation that will determine the winner.

"Today, we've got two guys who are eerily similar," Max explains. "Deathstroke and Deadpool have similar fighting styles, similar superpowers—even similar names. But today, only one will walk out of this computer-simulated battle alive."

We now see a nerdy-looking young man with frizzled black hair and thick glasses. He's firing a pistol at several targets on the walls.

Representing Deadpool: his best friend and tech-support, Jack "Weasel" Hammer. Weasel has known Deadpool for years, and has supplied him with most of his weapons.

"Deadpool is a sadistic, unpredictable individual, and that's precisely why he's so dangerous," says Weasel. "He will shoot you in the head just for looking at him cross-eyed..."

We now see a man in a yellow-and-black uniform and "eared" mask. He bares his teeth as he slashes the air with a katana.

Also representing Deadpool: Wolverine. The man they call Logan has crossed paths with Deadpool before, and even almost lost his life to Wade on one occasion.

"Deadpool ain't just some crazy man who picked up a gun an' decided ta' go ta' town with it," Wolverine says. "He's a trained killer with an eye fer blood."

Wade Wilson was originally a sniper and mercenary for a secret government agency before being diagnosed with cancer. Originally thought to be incurable, Wade received controversial treatments for his ailment. The treatments cured his cancer, but unfortunately, they also left him severely disfigured and warped his mind. However, he gained an insanely powerful healing factor, which has been incredibly helpful for him in the past.

"There's no chance in hell that Deathstroke will walk away from this fight in one piece," Weasel affirms the viewers. "Deadpool's gonna destroy the guy with a smile on his face."

But according to our Deathstroke experts, the man known as Slade will be the one victorious in this battle.

We now see a young girl with white hair wearing a black ninja-like outfit. She points a large broadsword at the camera.

Representing Deathstroke: his daughter, Rose Wilson. Despite the fact that her father hasn't been a part of her life very much, Rose knows Deathstroke's fighting skills and abilities well.

"My father is one of the deadliest men on this planet," says Rose. "He's not one to be tangled with."

We now see a man in a green suit, hat, and necktie covered with question-marks. He's holding a nasty-looking submachine gun.

Also fighting for Deathstroke: the Riddler. One of Batman's archrivals, Riddler has employed Deathstroke's services in some of his schemes—even though he was nearly killed by Deathstroke on one occasion.

"Riddle me this," begins the Riddler, "why is Deathstroke so deadly? It's because he is a professional when it comes to maiming, destroying, and killing."

Originally a soldier, Slade Wilson volunteered to be a guinea pig for a government-funded experiment by the U.S. Army to create the ultimate fighting soldier. While the experiment was a success, Slade ultimately deserted the army and became a ruthless mercenary. Using cold, calculating prowess, his enhanced healing capabilities, and highly evolved strength, Deathstroke has proven a formidable adversary for many of DC's finest heroes.

"There's a reason my father is known as 'Deathstroke'", says Rose. "He's cold, calculating, and shows no mercy. It's going to be a massacre—some cheap imitation like Deadpool will not beat the original."

These two mercenaries are very similar, but how would they fare up in a head-to-head battle to the death? Our experts couldn't be more divided.

"I'm giving it all to Deadpool in this one," says Geoff eagerly. "Not only is he more bad-ass, but his healing factor is superior, and he has access to more lethal firearms and close-in weapons. I think the Merc's gonna take this one."

"My initial edge goes to Deathstroke," says Max matter-of-factly. "In addition to his fighting skills, he's also smarter, and has more experience than Deadpool. That being said, it's probably going to be close."

Both mercenaries have several things in common. For one thing, they both use the most powerful and advanced firearms. And for Deadpool, nothing provides death better than:

We see Deadpool walking into a building and going to town on several people with an assault rifle.

The MAC-10 Submachine Gun: a deadly accurate mid-range monster.

Weasel and the Deadliest Warrior team are now standing in front of a table with Deadpool's weapons on it. Weasel holds the MAC-10 as he explains the weapon's benefits:

"This bad boy is one of the most powerful weapons in Deadpool's arsenal. It's all-American, and he doesn't use anything that isn't made in America."

"We've tested the MAC-10 before," Geoff recalls, "but why don't you remind us of its properties."

"Glad to," Weasel obliges. "It weighs about six pounds, so it's relatively light. It fires .45 ACP bullets—about a thousand a minute—and it can hit from about 200 feet.

"Okay, why don't we go test it out?" Max suggests.

"Let's do," Weasel agrees.

The team and our experts head out to the firing range, where Weasel will demonstrate the lethal power of the MAC-10. While being timed, Weasel will have to take down five targets positioned at varying distances.

As Geoff, Max and Dr. Dorian stand behind the protective shield, Weasel is out in the open with the five foam torsos in front of him.

"Are you ready, Weasel?" Geoff asks.

"Damn straight!" Weasel replies.

"On three, two, one—FIRE!"

On Geoff's word, Weasel opens fire with the MAC-10, hitting the first two targets in the chest and head with a flurry of bullets. He rushes out about five feet and fires at the third and fourth targets, riddling them with shells as well. He aims at the final target for a few seconds, and destroys it with a few more well-placed bullets. The whole process takes about thirty seconds.

"Yeah!" Geiger cheers.

"Nice job, man," Desmoulin says, "you hit 'em all in about thirty seconds!"

But was Weasel accurate enough to kill all his targets? Dr. Dorian steps in to analyze the damage.

"Okay, no need to analyze these first two," says Dr. Dorian as he examines the blood-soaked targets. "You've pretty much cut this first guy in half with bullets, and the other guy doesn't have a head anymore…they're both goners. Guy number three…two shots through the heart, three more in the gut, so this guy's also dead. The fourth guy has a bullet through his head and another five or six in his chest—he's dead, too. And let's see…the fifth guy has two shots through his heart, two through his face, one in the liver—that's five targets killed. Nice job."

An impressive display, but our Deathstroke experts don't seem impressed.

"Quite the demonstration, young man," the Riddler admits, "but you were quite slow in taking your shots. Deathstroke has a weapon that can fire in much shorter time…"

We see Deathstroke shooting three people with an equally nasty-looking gun.

The PM-84 Glauberyt Submachine Gun: a Polish weapon that hits harder than a goulash dinner.

Riddler and the DW hosts are still out on the firing range, and a small arsenal of guns stands behind them. Riddler is holding the PM-84 as he explains how it works:

"This weapon will prove the undoing of Mr. Wade Wilson if I have anything to say about it…"

"Why don't you tell us how it works?" Geoff suggests.

"My pleasure, gentlemen," replies Riddler. "It can fire a 9x18 cartridge approximately 150 feet, it's very accurate, and as you can see, it's quite lightweight and easy to carry."

"Can you back all your talk up with a little target practice?" Geoff asks.

"Of course…I shall 'riddle' them with bullets!" The Riddler begins laughing maniacally, and over the course of several seconds, the others slowly back away from him in fear.

Riddler is now on the same target range Weasel was earlier, and the five targets have been replaced with fresh ones. Geoff, Max and Dr. Dorian watch him from behind the glass shield.

"Are you ready, Riddler?" Desmoulin asks.

"Indeed I am!" the Riddler replies, aiming the gun at one of the targets.

"Three, two, one—FIRE!"

Riddler takes aim at the first target and fires several bullets recklessly toward it. He then hits the second target with a few more bullets before taking aim at the third and fourth targets, spraying them with shots as well. He doesn't bother to go in closer to the final target, though—he just shoots it from a distance, and it isn't clear whether he hit the target or not. However, he took nearly half the time Weasel needed to hit his targets.

"All right, that's eighteen seconds," Desmoulin shouts. "You beat Weasel's time and then some, Riddler!"

The gun is certainly faster, but are all the shots kills? Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage.

"Okay, looking at these first two, you've pretty much hit them sufficiently enough to kill," Dr. Dorian observes. "They've got shots in their heads and chests that nobody could walk away from. Next guy, you've shot him in the gut, mostly. While this would be painful, he's not gonna die right away, so he could still fight back. Guy #4—a lot of shots to the chest, one to the head as well—this is a kill. And the last guy looks like he has nothing on him—not a good sign."

"So three kills, one wounded, and one unscathed…" Desmoulin says.

"Well, well…" Weasel says, mocking the Riddler. "Looks like all your talk was a lotta hot air. I took out every one of my guys…"

"Blah, blah, blah," the Riddler responds. "The bottom line is, I hit my targets faster."

But which submachine gun takes the edge?

"While it may be a little slower, the MAC-10 was the more accurate weapon, and it has higher-caliber bullets," Desmoulin tells the viewers. "In this case, I've gotta give my edge to the MAC-10."

For long-range weapons, the edge goes to Deadpool for the MAC-10. But this match is just starting to get hot, as both mercenaries pull out their most explosive weapons next. For Deadpool, this is a weapon that is as cheap as it is explosive:

We see Deadpool pulling the pin on an egg-shaped grenade and throwing it.

The F1 Grenade: a deadly explosive that dates back to World War I.

Weasel is outside on the firing range with Geoff, Max and Dr. Dorian. He explains to the guys the workings of the grenade:

"What we have here is a standard F1 grenade, commonly called the "egg grenade". It was developed in Russia about a hundred years ago, and the standard design hasn't changed much over the years."

"Keeping it simple, right?" Geoff asks. Weasel nods in response.

"Well, let's see what it can do," Max suggests.

The team and Wolverine are now positioned behind a protective glass barrier, and several yards away, Weasel stands outside a small one-room building with an F1 grenade in his hand.

The target will be a small, makeshift building with three dummies rigged with pressure sensors inside. If the pressure sensors are activated, it means the grenade has scored a kill.

"Weasel, are you ready?" Desmoulin asks.

"Oh yeah!" Weasel screams.

"Three, two, one—THROW IT!"

Weasel pulls the pin on the grenade and throws it through the window into the structure. He then runs back to where Geoff and the others are, and they wait. About five seconds later, the grenade detonates.

"WHOO!" Geoff cheers as the walls of the structure cave inward onto the fallen dummies.

"Boom goes the dynamite!" Max exclaims.

A nasty blast…but is it enough to kill?

"Let's take a look at this first dummy," says Geoff as he examines the wreckage. "The patch is tripped, and there's frag all over this guy's gut. He's definitely dead. Second guy—he's pretty clean, but the patch is tripped—the shock wave got him, so that's another kill. And the last guy—I don't see any frag in him, and the patch isn't tripped. Two kills and one survivor…"

"He's the luckiest bastard in the world, then," Weasel growls.

Despite the grenade's destructive power, Team Deathstroke isn't all that impressed.

"Riddle me this," the Riddler begins, "how many people does it take to recover from this and fight back once the shock wears off? Answer: one! That's how many survivors you've failed to kill with this shoddy grenade!"

"Indeed," Rose adds. "My father will never go down to something as meager as this…"

And Deathstroke carries a handheld grenade that our experts claim is much more deadly…

We see Deathstroke pulling the pin on a spherical grenade, then chucking it into a room, where it explodes.

The M67 Grenade: a shrapnel-filled grenade that packs a powerful punch.

Still outside, we see Riddler holding the M67 grenade as he tells the DW team what it can do:

"Big things come in small packages, as you know—this weighs just under one pound, it has an effective blast range of approximately ten feet, and it's a very modern design, as you can see."

"Well, it's certainly more modern, but let's see if it can stack up to the F1 grenade," Max says.

Riddler now stands outside a structure just like Weasel did with the F1 grenade before. Geoff, Matt and Dr. Dorian stand behind the protective glass along with Rose.

"Ready, Riddler?" Desmoulin asks.

"Of course!" replies the villain.

"Three, two, one—THROW IT!"

On Geoff's word, Riddler pulls the pin from the grenade and chucks it into the window, then runs for cover. A few seconds later, the grenade detonates, and a few pieces of the plywood walls go flying.

"YEAH!" Geoff cheers as what's left of the structure caves in on itself.

But how did the M67 stack up to the destruction caused by the F1?

"Let's take a look at these guys," Geoff says as he examines what used to be a foam dummy. "This one has a lot of fragmentation in his chest, and the patch is also tripped. This is a kill. Second guy…no frag, but the patch is tripped, so the shock wave got him. And the third guy…he looks pretty clean, but again, the patch is tripped. Three kills out of three."

"Two kills with the F1 grenade; three kills with the M67…" Geiger observes.

"Yeah, but our grenade released a lot more shrapnel," Weasel argues.

"It doesn't matter—our grenade killed all our targets!" Rose rebuts.

"I'm gonna have to go with Rose here," Geoff agrees. "I have to give the edge to the grenade that has the most killing potential."

"Agreed…edge, M67," Max seconds.

For explosive weapons, the edge goes to Deathstroke's M67 grenade. But as any comic book fan will tell you, Deathstroke and Deadpool are deadliest in-close. And Deadpool's favorite weapons he uses?

We see Deadpool training in an abandoned building with his two signature swords.

Twin Katanas: razor-sharp dealers of death.

Wolverine holds the two katanas in his hands as he explains to Geoff, Max and Dr. Dorian about them:

"These here are Deadpool's pride an' joy. They're real lightweight an' easy to carry, an' they're sharp enough to cut straight through a damn body."

"We can actually test that…" Geoff says.

Wolverine is now shown in another part of the fight club, where numerous pigs are stacked up in two piles in front of him.

To test the katanas, we're using the closest thing to human tissue—pig flesh. Sensors on the swords will test the power and speed of the weapons.

"Ready, Wolverine?" Geoff asks.

"I was born ready…" Wolverine hisses.

"Three, two, one—SLICE 'EM!"

Wolverine takes one katana from a sheath at his side and yells as he slices through one pile of pig carcasses. The sword goes cleanly through two of them, and cuts about halfway through the one underneath them. Wolverine unsheathes the second sword, and brings it down on the second pile of pigs with another battle cry, this time slicing all the way through three of them.

"Whoa!" Max exclaims.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Geoff cheers.

Close inspection reveals that one katana sliced cleanly through two pigs, and the other sliced through three.

"These readings show that you hit those pigs at about 55 feet per second," says Geoff as he looks over the readings from the sensors. "That's roughly equivalent to jumping out a window on one of those swords."

"Told 'ya, didn't I…" Wolverine smugly replies.

But despite the katanas' power, our Deathstroke experts aren't impressed.

"Yes, the katanas are powerful, but look at the size of them!" Rose says. "My father carries a blade at least twice as large as one of these."

We see Deathstroke stabbing a man clear through with a very large sword.

The Promethium Broadsword: a powerful blade custom-made for murder.

Rose is holding the sword as she explains to the Deadliest Warrior team its benefits:

"This is the exact same sword my father uses. It's made of one of the strongest materials on earth, promethium; just like his armor."

"Well, it's certainly bigger than Deadpool's two katanas put together," Max observes, "but let's test it out and see if bigger, in this case, really is better."

Rose steps up to a hanging pig carcass as she awaits Geoff's signals.

"Okay, high-speed's up—ready, Rose?" Geoff asks.

"Ready!" Rose replies.

"Three, two, one—SLICE IT!"

Rose lets out a battle cry as she swings the broadsword at the pig, cutting it in two. She swings at the half-carcass that's still hanging from the wire, cutting it in two as well. She keeps swinging the sword at what's still suspended, hacking off pieces of flesh and bone that fly everywhere.

"HOLY SH**!" Geoff cries.

"DAMN!" Max adds.

The broadsword does incredible damage, cutting through the pig not once, but multiple times, just like the katanas.

"That's about 20 feet per second," Geoff explains, examining the data from the test. "Not as fast as the katana, but the weight behind the sword more than makes up for it!"

Both swords are undoubtedly deadly, but which one takes the edge?

"I'm completely torn here," Geoff tells his fellow hosts. "On one hand, the katanas are fast, plus, Deadpool has two of them. On the other hand, that broadsword is absolutely vicious. I'm not sure who to give the edge to…"

"I completely agree," Geiger replies. "Both swords have the capability to do massive damage. I'd call it a draw, and then some."

For close-range weapons, neither side gets the edge. But this match is only starting to get nasty, as our mercenaries pull out their sniper rifles. As for Deathstroke, he prefers a gun favored by many an American police force:

We see Deathstroke shooting a passerby from a building window with a lightweight sniper rifle.

The Remington 700 Sniper Rifle: able to blast a hole through the front of a skull in a fraction of a second.

The gang is back outside as Rose holds the Remington sniper rifle. Wolverine and Weasel are also close by.

"This is the standard-use sniper rifle for the U.S. Army," Rose explains. "It's actually two weapons in one—the gun itself is a standard M24 rifle, and on top here is a telescopic sight which lets the bullet travel much farther."

"How would Deadpool counter something like this, Wolverine?" Geoff asks the Marvel hero.

"Oh, he's got his ways…" Wolverine replies.

We see Deadpool blasting a man in the head from a distance with his own sniper rifle.

The M25 Marksman Rifle: designed to blow a hole in a person's head from half a mile away.

Wolverine is now holding the M25 as he explains to the guys how it works:

"This rifle's used by the U.S. military, too…it was used first back in th' Gulf War, and they've used it ever since. An' just like that one, this here is just a modified version of a simple M14 rifle."

"And it's damn accurate, too," Weasel adds.

To test the power and accuracy of both sniper rifles, our team has set up three targets at various distances. Wolverine and Rose will shoot at each target once. Rose is up first with Deathstroke's Remington sniper rifle.

"Three, two, one—FIRE!"

On Geoff's signal, Rose aims the Remington at the first target, positioned about 1500 feet away, and fires, hitting it squarely in the head. The next target is about 3000 feet away, and Rose manages to hit it in the head as well. The third and final target is positioned a full mile away, and while Rose doesn't hit it in the head, she amazingly manages to put the bullet through the target's stomach.

"Whoo!" Geoff cheers.

"Every one, right on the nose!" declares Max.

Rose hit every one of the targets. Can Wolverine do the same with the M25 Marksman rifle?

"Alright, Wolverine," Geoff begins, "three, two, one—FIRE!"

Wolverine fires at the closest target, hitting it right between the eyes. The second shot he fires hits the 3,000-foot target in the side of the head as well. He takes aim with his last shot at the final mile-away target—but doesn't hit it.

"Alright, nice job!" Geoff congratulates Wolverine.

Geoff and Max look over the results.

"Well, it turns out that Rose hit all three of her targets with her rifle," Geoff says. "But Wolverine only hit two of the three targets—the one positioned a mile away was unscathed."

"I was aimin' for the damn head," Wolverine argues. "So sue me…"

Wolverine may back up his talk well, but for our experts, it's an easy call.

"I have to go with the weapon that can hit from a longer distance," Desmoulin tells Geiger & Dr. Dorian, "so I've gotta give it to the Remington."

"Agreed," says Geiger. "The guy who can score the first hit might not kill the other guy in this particular fight, but the one that scores the first hit will definitely have an advantage. Edge goes to Deathstroke here."

For very long-range weapons, the edge goes to Deathstroke's Remington 700 sniper rifle. But assault and sniper rifles aren't the only firearms these two carry—pistols also play an important role in their line of work. And Deathstroke's favorite sidearm?

We see Deathstroke firing a nasty-looking pistol at a group of people at night.

The Makarov Pistol: a Russian-made semi-automatic nightmare.

Everyone is now back inside the fight club. Riddler is holding the Makarov as he explains to the guys and Weasel how it works:

"Gentlemen, this weapon could possibly be the best sidearm money can buy. It was developed in Russia about sixty years ago, and still remains a powerful choice of many a country."

"Well, the Makarov has always done well in our tests," Max recalls. "Weasel, what does Deadpool have to counter it?"

"Only one of the best damn pistols ever made…" Weasel boasts.

We now see Deadpool firing a slightly smaller pistol at a man at point-blank range.

The Sig-Sauer P220 Pistol: a favorite weapon of police forces the world over.

Weasel holds the Sig-Sauer as he explains to the Deadliest Warrior guys its benefits:

"This weapon isn't like the Makarov in that it's recoil-operated. It's durable, accurate, and very lightweight."

"Looks like we have two pretty damn good-looking pistols," Geoff admits. "What say we go test 'em out?"

Geoff and Dr. Dorian move some foam torsos into place and ready for the pistol test.

Each team will get a round of six bullets, which they will use to take out three targets. First up: the Riddler, with Deathstroke's Makarov pistol.

Riddler stands in front of the three targets with the Russian-made pistol.

"Are you ready?" Geoff asks.

"My answer is: yes!" the Riddler brags.

"On three, two, one—FIRE!"

On Geoff's word, the Riddler fires the Makarov at the mannequins, two shots at each one. When he's done, all three targets have one shot in their head and a second in their chest or stomach.

"Nice shooting!" Desmoulin comments.

Dr. Dorian steps in to analyze the killing power of the shots.

"Just by looking at all three of these guys, I can tell they'd all be dead," says Dr. Dorian as he examines the torsos. "All three shot once in the head…the results speak for themselves."

A tough act to follow, but can Weasel match it with the Sig-Sauer?

Weasel stands at the ready with the Sig-Sauer P220.

"Ready, Weasel?" Geoff asks.

"You know it!" Weasel replies.

"Three, two, one—FIRE!"

Weasel opens fire at all three targets, hitting each one with one headshot and one gut shot. When he's done, the results look very similar to that of the Makarov.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Geoff cheers.

But are the shots enough to kill?

"There's no question—you've shot all three of these guys in the head," Dr. Dorian states. "This one over here even took a shot directly in the soft palate, up into the brainstem. Every one is an instant kill."

So which pistol gets the edge?

"I'm tempted to call it even here—both pistols are highly accurate, very deadly, and incredibly quick-firing," Dr. Dorian admits.

"The only thing is that the Sig-Sauer can hold a few more bullets," Geoff says, "but that might or might not make a difference."

"It's very close," says Max, "so why not let the computer decide?"

Max loads the data into the computer. It's a very close call, but the edge goes to Deadpool for the Sig-Sauer P226 pistol. But there's still one more thing to consider: the special weapons carried by each mercenary. And for Deathstroke, nothing is better in-close than:

We see Deathstroke blocking a shot from a sword-wielding man with a large staff, then hitting him in the head with it.

The Hanbō Staff: perfect for deflecting blows—or causing them.

Everyone is back inside the fight club. Rose is holding Deathstroke's staff as she explains to Geoff, Max and Dr. Dorian about it:

"My father is very skilled at using this weapon. He's been trained in several Japanese martial arts, including that of hanbōjutsu."

"What exactly is this staff made of?" Geiger asks.

"Oak wood, with a bit of maple as well," Rose replies. "It's very durable, and lasts a long time."

To test the staff, Rose will use a ballistics gel torso with the same resistance as human flesh and bone.

"Ready?" Desmoulin asks.

"Yes, sir!" Rose says, taking aim at the torso with the staff.

"Three, two, one—HIT IT!"

Rose swings the staff at the torso's head, breaking the skull underneath the gel. She keeps swinging the staff at it until the torso begins to start bleeding from various places, and the skin pops open in various places. After a few seconds, she lets up, and the torso is barely recognizable. Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage.

"All right!" Desmoulin cheers.

"Very nice!" Max congratulates Rose.

"No need to question this—this is definitely a kill," says Dr. Dorian. "Once that skull is fractured inward and you start bleeding from the brain like this, you're dead."

But our Deadpool team doesn't seem all that impressed.

"You're actually bringin' a silly stick to this fight?" Wolverine says, mocking Rose. "Yer dad ain't got a chance…"

"Plus, how much does that thing weigh—ten, fifteen pounds?" Weasel asks. "Wade's weapon is ten times lighter—and he has two of 'em!"

Deadpool has not one, but two weapons for getting up close and personal:

We see Deadpool stabbing a man in the head and gut with two sharp dagger-like weapons.

The Sai: an ancient Japanese gardening tool modified for death.

The Deadliest Warrior cast is now in a different part of the fight club as Wolverine tells them all about the twin sai:

"These here are a couple-a' weapons the Merc uses all the time. They're real lightweight, plus there's two of 'em, so ya' can stab with one while ya' block with the other one, for example."

"Well, why don't we see just how good those things are?" Max suggests.

"You got it," replies Wolverine.

Wolverine will use the two sai on the closest thing to human flesh: a pig carcass.

"Wolverine, are you ready?" Desmoulin asks.

"Yeah!" Wolverine growls as he prepares to stab the pig with the sai.

"Three, two, one—STAB IT!"

Wolverine takes the sai and jabs them into the anchored pig with great force, grunting as he pulls them out. There are three holes where each sai made contact, and blood begins pouring out of these holes. Wolverine keeps stabbing the pig until it's filled with holes and covered with blood. Dr. Dorian steps forward to analyze damage.

"Yeah!" Desmoulin cheers.

"Pork chops!" Geiger cries.

"Okay, I lost count at about the twentieth stab you made on this pig," Dr. Dorian says as he examines the carcass, "but I can safely say this is probably a kill. Some of these holes go straight into vital organs like the lungs, which would puncture them and make it very hard to breathe. Then there's these holes in the chest here, which went right through the heart—all these shots together would probably equal a kill."

"The sai seem like a cumbersome weapon, though," remarks Rose. "You had some trouble pulling it out, remember?"

"Well, they ain't a set of adamantium claws, I'll give ya' that," says Wolverine, "but I'll take these things over a silly stick any day…"

Staff or sai—which one will give its user the edge?

"While Deathstroke can block blows with his staff, I have to give the edge to the sai in this case," Desmoulin tells the audience. "They can also block weapons due to their design, plus, Deadpool has two of 'em to use."

For special weapons, the edge goes to Deadpool for the sai.

We now see a montage of all the weapons that have been tested in this episode.

The testing is now complete. Max will now load all the data into a battle simulation program that will determine the winner.

Close-range weapons edge: Both Deathstroke's broadsword and Deadpool's katanas
Medium-range weapons edge: Deadpool, for the Sig-Sauer P226 pistol
Long-range weapons edge: Deadpool, for the MAC-10
Very long-range weapons edge: Deathstroke, for the Remington 700 sniper rifle
Explosive weapons edge: Deathstroke, for the M67 grenade
Special weapons edge: Deadpool, for the sai

To keep the battle from being won by a single lucky blow, Max will simulate the battle one thousand times. It will be a battle of opposites: strength and power…

We see Deathstroke breaking a man's jaw with a single punch.

Versus stealth and determination.

We see Deadpool sneaking up behind a man and choking him with a chloroform-soaked rag.

Calculated strategy…

We see Deathstroke carefully aim his sniper rifle at a faraway victim and pull the trigger.

Versus maniacal overkill.

We see Deadpool mowing down a crowd of people with his H&K MP5.

"This is it," Max says, now seated in front of the computer. Geoff and Dr. Dorian watch from nearby. "The only thing left is to start the battle."

"Let's get the show on the road, then…" Geoff suggests.

Max presses a button on the computer, and the entire screen becomes like a scene from The Matrix, which eventually transitions to the battle scene.

The Battle

The battle takes place at night in a large city, where a massive thunderstorm is occurring. As lightning flashes across the dark sky, the camera zooms in on an old, abandoned warehouse. Inside, we see Deathstroke cleaning his Remington 700 sniper rifle. He lifts his head up and looks around the building for a few seconds before picking up the rifle and practicing aiming it. About a hundred feet away, Deadpool enters the old warehouse to get out of the rain. "A dark and stormy night…sheesh, how much more cliché can you get?" he asks while looking at the camera. Deathstroke hears Deadpool's voice, and silently begins sneaking over to where it came from. As Wade dusts himself off, Slade aims his Remington at Wade and pulls the trigger. The bullet goes straight through Deadpool's stomach, and he flinches from the pain. He pops the lodged bullet out with his healing factor, though, and looks in the direction of where it came from to see Slade behind some stacked crates. "Oh, you want some of this?" asks Wade as he quickly pulls out his M25 Marksman rifle and fires two shots at Slade. The bullets hit Deathstroke in the chest, and he yells in pain, but soon afterward, his wounds begin to heal, and he fires another bullet from his sniper rifle. Deadpool jumps out of the way and grabs an F1 grenade from his pocket. He pulls the pin and throws it behind the crates, where it lands beside Slade. The grenade detonates, and flushes Deathstroke out from his hiding spot. As he gets up, we see that he has shrapnel all over his body, but it slowly begins to heal as he runs to the side of the building, grabbing his Makarov pistol from his side. Deadpool chases after him as he pulls out his Sig-Sauer. Deadpool fires the gun maniacally, shouting "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Slade takes cover behind a trash can while Wade fires his pistol. Eventually, Deadpool's pistol runs out of bullets. "Wait, seriously?" he asks the author, looking at the camera. "Not funny, dude!" Slade suddenly pops out from behind the trash can and shoots Wade in the chest with the Makarov. "GAH, SHIT!" Deadpool shouts as Deathstroke rushes forward with his Glauberyt rifle drawn. Deadpool heals his wound and pulls out his MAC-10, and both mercenaries fire their weapons at one another, running around the warehouse and taking cover behind crates and barrels. Deadpool mocks Deathstroke, irritating Slade to no end. Eventually, though, Deadpool's MAC-10 runs out of bullets. "Again?" he asks, looking at the camera. "This is getting old…" As Deathstroke comes close, Deadpool throws caution to the wind and rushes forward, kicking Deathstroke in the stomach before pulling out his two sai. He stabs at Slade's chest, but Slade rolls out of the way and grabs his hanbo staff lying nearby. The two slash and swing at one another, each trying to gain an edge. Deadpool stabs Deathstroke in his hip, causing the DC villain to shout in pain. Slade counters, however, by smacking Wade upside the head with the staff. As the two distance one another, Deathstroke grabs an M67 grenade from his side pocket, pulls the pin, and rolls it toward Deadpool's feet. Deadpool sees it and tries to run, but the grenade detonates, causing Deadpool to drop his sai and sending him rolling into a crate and breaking it open. Deathstroke rushes toward Deadpool with his staff, but Deadpool throws a broken board at Deathstroke's face, causing him to drop his staff. Deadpool unsheathes his katanas as Deathstroke grabs his broadsword, and the two mercenaries clash. Deadpool blocks a shot from Deathstroke with one katana and slashes one of his wrists with the other. Deathstroke screams in pain, but manages to slash Deadpool across the stomach with the broadsword, and the Merc falls backward, dropping one of his katanas. Deathstroke swings the broadsword at Deadpool's head, but Deadpool ducks and only gets the top part of his skull cut open. Deadpool uses the opportunity to stab Deathstroke in the leg with the katana he still has, causing Deathstroke to drop his broadsword and grab his leg. Deadpool tackles his fellow mercenary to the ground, then scrambles to retrieve his dropped katana. He grabs it, but Deathstroke grabs Deadpool's foot with his good hand and pulls him to the floor. As Deathstroke gets up and approaches Deadpool, he pulls out his Glauberyt, but just before he's about to shoot Wade, the Merc with the Mouth stabs Slade through the heart with the katana he retrieved a few seconds ago. Deathstroke falls back as Deadpool gets up, approaches the downed Slade, pulls the other katana out of Slade's leg, and stabs him through the heart with that one as well, causing blood to spill over the swords. Deathstroke finally slumps up against a barrel and does not move. As his split-open head starts to heal, Wade glares at Slade's dead body. "Welcome to Loserville, jackass!" he yells. "Population—you!"

Winner: Deadpool

"In our closest match ever, Deadpool emerged victorious just over 52% of the time," explains Max. "I think the deciding factor for this match was Deadpool's reliable close-range weaponry and overall unpredictability; plus, his regenerative abilities were just a little bit better than Deathstroke's, and that proved fatal for the man called Slade."

As Max said, it was very close. Out of 1,000 battles, Deadpool won 523. He matched or beat Deathstroke in almost every category except their sniper rifles and grenades.

Deadpool Kills: 523
MAC-10: 169
F1 Grenade: 10
Katanas: 45
M25 Marksman Rifle: 275
Sig-Sauer P226: 17
Sai: 7

Deathstroke wasn't far behind with 477 kills. His Remington rifle scored the most kills in the simulation, but it wasn't enough.

Deathstroke Kills: 477
PM-84 Glauberyt: 102
M67 Grenade: 19
Broadsword: 34
Remington 700 Sniper Rifle: 300
Makarov: 10
Hanbō Staff: 12

"I thought Deathstroke was the more serious warrior," admits Dr. Dorian. "But Deadpool is a loose cannon, and I guess that's what netted him victory in the long run."

"I cannot figure out why Deadpool won," says Rose. "He's a nutcase—my father would surely massacre him in real life."

"I'll give Deathstroke credit—the bastard is tough," Weasel confesses. "Unfortunately, he isn't tough enough to stand up to Wade. Especially with the weapons Wildman gave him…he he…" He turns and winks at the camera.

We see Deadpool leaning up against the warehouse as the camera zooms in on him. He turns and looks at the camera. "Next time, gimme a real challenge, 'kay?" he asks me before turning to walk away, and the show comes to an end.

Chapter 5 is done, and Marvel takes a much-needed victory, bringing our overall score to 4-3, still in favor of DC. However, perhaps Marvel can obtain a victory from its most famous hero. In our next chapter, everyone's favorite web-slinging hero, Spider-Man, will take on the man formerly known as Robin, Nightwing. Don't miss it!