Chapter 7
She's not sure how long she stared at the knob, willing it to open and for Jane to rush back to her and apologize for leaving so abruptly. She should have known better. Of course Jane would react that way. Jane doesn't "do" emotions.
Maura made her way around the candlelit house, extinguishing all the candles in the kitchen first. With each wick that she placed under the metal snuffer, the bright light of the flame quickly died down – only a small trail of smoke left to lift lifelessly into the air once the fire was stifled.
The doctor methodically extinguished the candles in the living room next, leaving the three on the coffee table for last. She took a seat in the middle of the couch and watched as the flames danced in the glass jars. The couch seemed so large all of a sudden. Large and…empty. Or was it lonely? Could a couch feel lonely? Logic told her that it couldn't, but that was the only explanation the doctor could come up with for how she felt at the moment. So much for the "stress relief" properties of the aromatherapy candles. They weren't doing a damn bit of good for Maura right now. She slowly leaned forward and blew the last three candles out, darkening the room.
Shit. I feel like shit. I feel like a shit. How could I leave like that? I am the worst friend in the history of friends. You dumbass…friends don't tongue friends. What the hell were you thinking?
Jane stood staring at the outside of her door, focusing on the doorknob, but unable to get her hands to move to put the key in the lock. How was she going to fix this? She needed to talk to someone. She usually went to Maura for advice. That option was gone now. Korsak?…Frost?…Frankie?…her mother? God no…none of them would be of any help.
The scratching on the other side of the door brought Jane out of her reverie. Snapping back into the present tense, she forced the key in the door and opened it to a furry bundle of happiness jumping at her feet.
"Okay, Jo. Take it easy. I'll take you out, just settle down," she said to the excited dog. Jane glanced across the room at the refrigerator as she grabbed the leash off the hook, knowing that an ice cold 6-pack of beer was waiting for her on the inside. It would be so easy to just make a mad dash to the dark brown bottles and drink herself into oblivion tonight. It was probably for the best if she tried to keep her mind clear long enough to at least take Jo out to do her business.
Maura flipped the light switch on in the kitchen and took a seat at one of the stools. Her eyes kept wandering over to the set of car keys on the end of the counter. Should I run over there and make sure she's okay? I know she is freaking out right now. The doctor nervously rubbed her hands on her knees, trying to keep herself busy so she didn't make a stab at the keys and run out to the car.
No, she needs space right now. If I drive over there, she'll feel suffocated. She needs time to calm down, to think rationally. She'll call me when she's ready.
Maura reluctantly pushed herself off the stool and headed towards her bedroom. She paused at the light switch, taking one more glance at the car keys. No, it's for the best. With one swipe of her finger, darkness filled the room.
"You are not going to believe the night I had," the detective said to her fluffy brown confidant. "Seriously, what I am about to tell you is a hell of a lot more interesting than that patch of grass you keep sniffing," Jane looked at the small dog as she circled around the lawn area for what seemed like the tenth time. "I kissed Maura…on the mouth."
Jo Friday finally settled on a spot and squatted down to relieve herself.
"Really? That's all you got?" the detective incredulously motioned to the squatting dog. "I just gave you the scoop of the century, and you act like this is just any other ordinary Thursday night?"
Jane looked up and down the empty street; no activity was visible in either direction. She pulled out her phone to see if Maura had tried to contact her yet. Nothing. No messages and no missed calls. She probably hates me.
Satisfied that Jo was done for the night, Jane led the dog up the stairs and back to her apartment.
Jane threw the leash on the table and headed to the refrigerator. She pulled one bottle from the cardboard packaging and flipped the top off into the garbage can with a flick of her thumb. Grabbing the remote, she decided some background noise would do her good, so she tuned into SportsCenter to keep her mind from spinning out of control.
The vibration of her phone on the couch startled her. It could only be from Maura this late. She was at once excited and terrified to read the message. She placed the full beer on the coffee table before opening the message.
M: Are you okay? At least let me know you made it home.
Jane looked at the message and smiled. Maura was still trying to make sure she was alright. That was something, wasn't it? She at least didn't hate her.
J: I'm good. Made it home in one piece. Thanks for checking in on me.
Jane struggled to find words to explain what she was feeling, but she couldn't put it into writing. Nothing seemed appropriate. She typed and erased repeatedly, never having the nerve to hit the send button. Trying to find the right words to fix everything she had probably destroyed tonight was impossible. Her phone vibrated before she could type a coherent thought.
M: Do I need to send the beer truck over there, or do you have enough to get you through the night?
Jane grinned at the message. Maura knew her too well.
J: I'm not sure. I'm almost too scared to take another sip. I might molest Jo Friday. Apparently I have no self control tonight.
Maura grinned at the response. She was glad Jane hadn't lost her sense of humor.
M: If you think that was molesting, it has been a long time for you. I think you have entirely too much self control. Maybe you shouldn't be left home alone tonight :)
The detective shook her head and read the message again. What the hell was she saying? Is she kidding me again? How the hell am I supposed to answer that? Jane thought for a minute about how to respond. She decided to go with what has worked well for her in the past. When in doubt, deflect.
J: How long does it take for symptoms of e-coli to appear? I think that dirty strawberry made me sick tonight.
M: Why, what are your symptoms?
J: Upset stomach, headache, general uneasiness...my judgment seems to be impaired, as well .
M: Unless you have explosive diarrhea, I think something else is causing your discomfort. Any ideas? ;)
Jane grumbled at her phone. This woman was killing her. Is she trying to cheer her up, or make her even more uncomfortable? The easiest way to figure that out would be to actually call the doctor, but Jane couldn't get up the nerve to actually speak to her yet.
J: I think I have an idea of what caused it.
Maura read the response and sighed. She contemplated calling Jane, but didn't want to push her into a conversation she clearly wasn't ready for yet. She'd learned over the years that pushing Jane usually resulted in the detective pushing back in the opposite direction twice as hard. She wanted nothing more than to put Jane at ease. Taking a big breath, she typed out another message.
M: I think the symptoms will be gone in a few hours. All you need is a good night's rest. Trust me…you'll be fine in the morning.
Jane looked at her phone and decided she at least owed Maura an apology. She wouldn't be able to sleep until she got that out of her system.
J: I'm really sorry, Maur. I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what got into me.
The doctor looked at her phone and felt a twinge of sadness. She could handle Jane being uncomfortable, but she really didn't want her to regret what had happened.
M: Jane, relax. No worries. Everything is fine.
J: You sure?
M: Yes. Get some rest. I'll bring the coffee in the morning.
Jane put her phone down on the couch and stared at the full beer bottle. Maybe Maura was right. She just needed a good night's sleep. It had been a long couple of days and she was exhausted. She was having trouble thinking clearly. Jane forced herself up off the couch and made her way to the kitchen sink. She watched as the amber liquid swirled its way down the drain. Tonight she didn't need anything else to drink. Tomorrow may be another story.
Maura relaxed back into the pillow and stared at the darkened light fixture above. A small grin started at the corner of her mouth, unable to contain her giddiness at the memory of the evening's events. Jane's reaction to the kiss was not what Maura would have wished for, but it did remind her of a fond old memory from her childhood.
She was probably only 12 years old at the time. Her family was spending a few weeks at their lake home. Her father had taken her down by the lake to help with a stubborn irrigation water pump. They worked for the better part of a hot, steamy afternoon to get the pump primed. Maura had to repeatedly wade into the murky water to scoop up pail after pail of water and pour a slow, steady stream of the rank liquid into the inlet as her father worked the priming plug, trying to gauge the precise time to plug the opening to build pressure in the line to start the pump. The old pump was temperamental. On some attempts it would sputter and start pumping, only to fizzle out once Maura's father had finally screwed the plug in place. Other efforts yielded no results at all. The most maddening attempts built too much pressure so quickly that it often spewed dirty water everywhere covering both of them head to toe. It was an extremely frustrating process. Her father was ready to give up after a short time, but Maura was relentless. She knew the pump was capable. She just needed to figure out how to build the pressure and cap it before all hell broke loose.
Jane was a lot like that old frustrating pump. At times the doctor could tease and get no results, but tonight confirmed that it wasn't a lost cause. That kiss, brief as it was, was enough to prove to Maura that Jane was capable, too. Maura knew that her work was cut out for her, but she wasn't afraid of a little hard work. Jane was worth it. Much like that old pump, Maura just needed to build the pressure and cap it before all hell broke loose. The pressure was easy. Capping it would be more difficult.
Maura just needed to be patient. And relentless…she needed to be relentless.
