The only thought continuously running through my mind on an endless loop is what have I done? I'm sitting at my kitchen island with an untouched cup of coffee in front of me. It's been exactly three hours and forty-seven minutes since I left the Black Box theatre. Three hours and forty-seven minutes since I lost Tori to my own stupidity. I sigh and put my head in my hands, wishing as hard as I can for the clocks to turn backwards and send me back to before I made that stupid bet. Before I hurt her so bad. That's all I want, is a second chance to undo everything.

"Jade, are you home ye—oh, there you are," my mom says cheerfully as she walks into the kitchen, obviously just getting home from work. I look up at her, not caring if she sees my red puffy eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asks, coming to stand next to me. I shake my head and sniffle, wiping at my eyes. "Did something happen between you and Tori?" My eyes shoot up at the mention of her name and I swallow hard.

"I messed up," I whisper. She sits down next to me and waits for me to continue, probably because she's terrible at comforting people. But I don't say anything else. I stand up and silently go to my room, thankful that my mom doesn't try to force me to talk about it.

I lie down in my bed and pull my cell from out of my pocket to see I have three missed calls all from Beck. I sigh and put my phone to my ear, wiping a few stray tears from my cheeks.

"Hello?" he answers on the second ring, "Jade? What the hell happened today?" he asks harshly. "You know?" I reply quietly.

"Yeah," he scoffs, "I went by her house just now to drop something off and she broke down, told me everything. I didn't think you were that heartless, Jade."

"I know I fucked up, Beck, but I just want her back now," I admit, turning to lie on my side.

I hear him sigh loudly over the line. "It wasn't just you that hurt her though. It was you and Robbie and Andre and Cat. People she thought were her friends and one person she thought she –" He stops quickly, cutting himself off and I sit up, my eyebrows furrowed together.

"She thought she what?" There's nothing but silence from his end. "Beck, what did she say to you?"

"It's not my place, Jade," he finally answers, "I only called to tell you to please stay away from her."

"What?" I exclaim, "That's not really your place either."

"The hell it isn't!" he snaps, "I'm basically the only one she has left now and it's killing me to see her so messed up over all this."

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself, not wanting this argument to continue any farther. "Look, Beck, I love her and I'm not going anywhere," I say slowly to emphasize my point and then hang up before he has the chance to respond.

I sigh deeply and bring my hands up to cover my eyes. I have to see her. Beck said he had been over there just now; that meant she was at home. I practically fly off of the bed, down the stairs, and out the door to my car. I drive to her house quickly and hastily, slamming on the brakes as I pull into her driveway. The only other car there belongs to the older Vega and I thank God her parents aren't home. What a terrible way to meet the parents. Oh, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Vega, it's so nice to meet you and I apologize for breaking your daughter's heart. I roll my eyes at my own idiotic thoughts as I pull the keys out of the ignition and run up the porch to the front door.

"Tori, open up!" I shout, knocking more aggressively than necessary. About a minute later the door opens and Trina is standing there with a look of complete anger. "What do you want?" she hisses. She knows, of course she knows.

"I'm here to make things right with your sister," I breathe out.

"Yeah right," she scoffs, "Just go home, Jade, you're—"

"Trina, stop already," I hear Tori's soft voice before I see her. She comes up behind her sister, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she clutches the ends together in front of her chest. Her eyes are red and slightly puffy and I feel myself start to choke up. She grabs Trina by the shoulder and pulls her back further into the house and then moves to stand in her place.

"What are you doing here, Jade?" she mumbles, averting her eyes so they're cast downwards.

"Can we talk?" I ask, before glancing to a lingering Trina, "Alone?"

She sighs before turning to give Trina a look that says 'get out.' She stomps back up to her room after giving me one final glare, leaving Tori and I awkwardly standing in the doorway. "Um, I guess you should come inside," she says flatly, standing aside to let me enter. We each sit down on the bright orange couch and for some odd reason my mind decides to momentarily flash back to our first kiss, when we had sat in these same spots before walking to the park where our lips met for the first time. Quit being so fucking cheesy and get back to fixing this, I think with a small shake of the head.

"Again, what are you doing here?" Tori whispers, clutching the blanket tighter around her small frame. I swallow hard before murmuring, "I'm sorry." It's the only thing I can think of to say at the moment.

"That's it?" she laughs without humor, "Oh, well then I guess it's all okay now," she throws her head back in laughter again and this time I smell the alcohol coming from her breath.

"Are you drunk?" I ask, my eyebrows knitting together in disbelief. She shakes her head, but continues to stare straight ahead.

"Nope," she answers, popping the p, "I had barely got around to finishing my second drink when you showed up, which brings me back to the question you keep trying to avoid."

I take a deep breath to steady myself as I feel the anger rise at the thought of her drinking alone and at the thought that I'm the reason for it. "I wasn't using you, Tori, not anymore. I'll admit, in the beginning I asked you out because of that stupid wager, but it became real for me. It is still real for me, Tori."

She blinks a few times, allowing my last words to linger a few moments. She still refuses to look at me and without her eyes I have no way to tell what she's feeling. She probably can't even stomach looking at you right now.

"I don't know what to do, Jade," she mumbles, "I still want you, but I can't trust you." Just as I'm about to respond she starts to giggle uncontrollably and I'm beginning to think she lied about how many drinks she had. "It's so funny," she giggles again, "because I thought that you'd be the first honest relationship I'd ever have. And I was really looking forward to it." Her eyes finally look to me and just like earlier, they're completely empty and drained.

"Tori," I breathe out in a whisper, "I am so sorry. But you have to know, I'm not going anywhere. This, us, we are not over and I am going to prove to you that it's not a game," I say with conviction, scooting closer so the side of my body is pressed against hers.

She chuckles and looks down, shaking her head softly. "Whatever you say, West." She pats my knee and stands up, dropping the blanket to the ground. She ignores it and heads towards the stairs, leaving me to sit there in confusion. West? Since when does she call me West? I watch her backside as she slowly makes her way up to her room and decide to make a risky decision.

"Vega, I love you," I say loudly, standing up. She pauses momentarily, her hand that's on the railing giving a small twitch. She turns around fully and gives a small smile. "I'm going to bed," she says with a simple shrug.

And with that I'm left standing there feeling numb and stupid and a mix of other emotions I don't know the name of. I drag my feet out of her house and practically collapse when I finally make it home. I'm not going to cry, I tell myself, Jade West doesn't cry. I take a deep breath as I fall to my knees on my bedroom floor.

I'm Jade West; I don't need people, they need me, I chant over and over again in my head. But I know it's a lie and I know what I need. I know who I need.


A/N: sorry it's taken so long to update, I just got back yesterday and I barely wrote this today. I'm actually not happy with it and I apologize if it's full of typos and mistakes, I didn't really proofread it since I wanted to update as soon as possible :( I'm also sorry it's super short but hope you like it anyways!