Chapter 7: November 8
Dear Diary,
Today was just a plain normal day. I decided to stay home. I slept all day and sat down. I didn't do much tiring stuff today. I also thought that even if I went to the guild, I have no reason to be there.. I want to go because of Natsu, but since he doesn't notice me these days.. I'm not in the mood to be there and feel sad again.
Well, I told you that my anger would be gone by now, right? Well, it is. Just now I realized, being at home all day is boring.. I regret staying anyway.. But tomorrow, I'll definitely go to the guild! I'll try asking Natsu again to go on a job! Sorry if I kept going on about my body and how Natsu ignores me.. It's just.. It's all I think about.
Nothing comes in my mind but questions about those things. Anyway, this afternoon, strange things happened to me.. I went to the kitchen to get some water. When I reached out to grab a glass, The glass just slipped out of my hand.. I didn't really understand what happened at that moment, but when I stepped away from the counter, the glass just dropped and shattered on the floor. Even though I really felt that I was gripping tight on the glass.
Was it my strength? Is it that I'm getting weaker and weaker? So the glass broke to pieces. Little shards landed on my feet so it hurt a little. I sat down to clean and put band aids on the small wounds, but then I noticed that there was not much blood coming from the wounds.. But then I thought, It was just normal because the cuts were small.
And another thing, I was cutting some vegetables while I was sitting down. Because I'd fall if I stayed standing. Then suddenly, I cut my palm. I was holding the lettuce in my hands then tried to cut it into two. But I put too much force in it that I cut all the way, reaching my palm. So my left hand has a huge cut across my palm.. But this is what bothers me.. The last time I got wounds, they didn't bleed much because they were small. But this time, it still didn't bleed..
It's impossible right? with that huge cut, I should've bled badly.. But I didn't.. I shook my head then breathed deeply. I can feel the pain but when I look at my hand, it was just like a mannequin's hand. Pale and has no blood in it. I tried to get it off my mind and just put a bandage around it. So here I am, resting my left hand while writing in this diary.
I hope that Natsu'll say yes to go on a job with me! Good luck to me!
Goodnight!
Ylwols gnidaf litnu gninrom reven semoc.
Gniniard dna gnikcus reh efil morf eht edisne..
