Chapter 7
Paradox of value
Water is more useful than diamonds, yet is a lot cheaper.
...
Amazing.
That was Harry's first thought when he saw Ted Lupin. The infant looked startlingly like his father, even with devilishly purple eyes, a green mohawk and pixie ears. He attempted to lift him from his cradle but withdrew when he sneezed, an adorable little noise that gave Harry immense satisfaction.
"He's beautiful," Harry voiced aloud, not realizing that someone had entered the room.
"He is, isn't he?" came Andromeda Tonks' voice from behind him. He turned and saw her approach him with a tray filled with pastries and a glass of pumpkin juice.
"Yeah, he is," he whispered to himself, looking at Teddy, who was completely bald now.
When Harry had first landed up at Andromeda's door, he had been heavily conflicted - he had no sodding clue about what being a godfather entailed. He didn't even have a proper parent to guide him (setting aside the Dursleys, who weren't the friendliest of creatures). Besides, he hadn't visited Teddy for ages now, and he was quite sure he wouldn't be recognized.
Maybe Ginny was right. There were people here, people he cared about, who needed him more than he needed himself. To think, if he had been away any longer, he might have lost these people entirely - Ron, Teddy, Ginny...
He was startled from his woolgathering when he felt Andromeda's palm on his shoulder. He turned away slightly to wipe away the tears that were threatening to spill and inconspicuously blew his nose.
"I know how you feel," she said slowly. "Sometimes I wish I had watched things more closely, never missed a moment of happiness I could have had with the people I loved."
Harry looked up at her. She just smiled back in a heart-wrenchingly sad fashion.
"I'd missed the miracle of it with my sisters, you know," she started again, her eyes misting. "We would always feud, never took the other's opinion at face value. Then one fine day, it was all gone... And all those thoughts of how desperate I was to be separated from them grew into laments of how much I missed them. And then Nymphadora... We hardly saw her after she became an Auror, she'd always be away at her missions. And then Remus came into her life and I couldn't have been happier for her... I just keep thinking, you know. If I'd just had a little more time...
"But I refuse to miss that with Teddy," she continued, determination sparking in her face, in the way her jaw was set. "I'll be there for every moment, whatever it takes of me."
"Me too," Harry confessed. Hadn't he missed a lot already? He had never had a childhood, his adolescent life was spent away fighting known and unknown enemies and now... Now he was free to do as he pleased. But that, he realized with a heavy heart, made things harder than ever. It came with responsibilities he had simply taken for granted and shrugged away, the kind he should have honed through the ages, but was too busy doing much else (saving the Wizarding World from imploding, for example, though he wasn't that proud of it).
"Oh, look at me," Andromeda said with a short laugh, dabbing at her eyes. "Let's not get into my sob stories."
Harry had never been good at comforting, and he was extremely relieved that Andromeda didn't fall into a depression and wax on about everything that had happened. It may sound heartless, but he knew they were never going to come back again. So might as well pick up and treasure the pieces he did have with him. Like Teddy.
"Do you want to hold him?" she asked with a soft voice, smiling at him.
Do I ever.
"Yeah, sure."
She lifted Teddy from his cradle and pulled him into her arms, holding him close to her chest. "Hold your arms out, like I did."
Harry did, feeling quite stupid. Why was he so nervous about holding a child?
"Here you go," she whispered, handing Teddy over to him.
The moment he secured Teddy in his grasp, he felt an oddly overwhelming feeling rising in his throat, one that enveloped him from head to foot and making him giddily happy. And protective.
He felt like a father.
Well, OK, not exactly as a father, but he supposed that this was how he'd feel if he held his own child ten years down the lane. A boy who looked exactly like him, messy hair and all. Or maybe a girl, with beautiful green eyes and long scarlet hair.
Scarlet hair?
Andromeda's voice broke into his musings. "I'll give you two a moment," she said, exiting.
Suddenly, it was just man and godson.
"Hello, Teddy," he started with a reassuring voice, for the infant had begun stirring and fussing. "You don't know me yet, and I'm the only person you can blame for that."
Teddy rubbed his eyes and yawned. Great. Now he couldn't even hold a child's attention.
"I'm Harry Potter, your godfather."
Teddy's face looked up at him immediately, as if recognizing him, and he burst into giggles.
Harry's heart soared.
"I knew your parents," he added. "Your father was great friends with my own father and godfather. They used to be inseparable, I've heard. And your mother, well she was the clumsiest person I've ever known."
Teddy laughed again and Harry was uplifted. "They were two of the bravest and strongest people I have ever met. And I can already sense you will grow up to be just like them."
He was vaguely aware of his eyes watering again, but he had to say this. Even if it fell to a child's ears, he needed to say some things aloud.
"Remus did his best to make sure I never felt like I needed a father. And God knows, I loved him for it."
Teddy lifted his hand upwards, trying to reach for something. Harry bent lower and nudged his nose with his own, his tears almost spilling on the baby.
"I grew up without my parents to guide me, and I daresay I still turned out OK. But you deserve more, Teddy. And I will spent every minute of my our lives making sure you never have to go through what I did."
A tiny chubby hand touched his cheek, blocking the steady flow of his tears which had soaked his face. Harry turned his face to kiss Teddy's palm, and felt a peace he had never felt before.
I am home.
"You hear that, Teddy?" he fairly yelled, more for himself than his godson. "I'll be there for everything. From teaching you how to ride your first broomstick and where to store your wand so you don't lose parts of your body, to handing you the Marauder's Map and urging you to try out every prank your father and mine had worked so hard to establish. From scolding you over how you screwed up on your first date to when you get into trouble with McGonagall over a terrible Transfiguration assignment. From when you get your Hogwarts' acceptance letter to when you graduate and go off to become whatever you want to become... I'll be there for it all."
Cracking an encouraging smile, Teddy grabbed Harry index finger, the one he had been pointing vehemently at him since he had started with his sappy monologue.
Harry heart strained, so much that he felt it growing bigger and bigger right in his chest. "I've missed enough," he whispered to Teddy, like it was a secret, just for the two of them. "I'm bloody well not going to miss this."
He kissed Teddy's forehead, causing him to burst into a fit of charming titters, prompting Harry to add, "Oh, and just between you and me. Never go to Ron for advice. He stinks at it."
Gurgling, Teddy made a grab for Harry hair, managing to catch hold of a lock. Then he shut his eyes tightly and Harry watched in awe as Teddy's now-unruly hair turned a dark shade of inky black. Here he was thinking there was nothing in the world he could have loved right now as much as he did his godchild, and then Teddy had to go and do that. With another flood of tears making their way down his cheeks, Harry set Teddy back into his cradle.
He sat there gazing at the infant, whose life, though flawed, would soon be one filled with love and happiness. And even as he heard Andromeda sneak back in, he wasn't ready to leave as yet.
"How are things with you?" she asked politely. He nodded in supreme contentment and said, "They're fine for now. I expect things to get better."
"Yes, I met the Weasleys recently. Molly simply loves Teddy, and she helps me about a lot. Ginevra comes over frequently too. I think Teddy is quite attached to her now."
Harry turned to her with a shocked expression. "Ginny came here?"
"Yes, hasn't she told you?"
No, she hasn't.
But he couldn't say that.
"I think she mentioned it," he breathed out. "I'm not sure."
"How are things with her? Nymphadora enjoyed talking about you two; she claimed she could sight love from miles away."
"I don't know," replied Harry wearily. "It's hanging about for now."
They slipped into silence, soft and comforting, for many minutes. Then Andromeda exclaimed, "Oh, look at the time! I have to leave, Harry. I have some errands to run."
"All right," went Harry even as he reached out for Teddy again.
"Would you like to mind him for a day?"
"What?" he asked, his head shooting up in surprise. "Are you serious?"
"Of course," she waved him off. "I'll get his things. He'll have to be fed frequently. And he needs a good dose of loving too, don't you, Teddy?" She lifted the baby into the air and made a small whooping sound, initiating the melodious sound of a baby's giggles, something Harry planned to get used to. She hugged him close and gave him a smacking kiss. "He's all yours for the day."
"I... Thanks. Thank you, Mrs. T."
"Oh, run along now. Molly will be expecting you back."
"Yeah," he said, picking up Teddy and gripping him tightly. He might have had a good heart-to-heart with his godson, but that didn't change the fact that his inexperience in baby matters might just cause Harry to drop him.
"And there's one more thing."
Harry turned to her, expecting a note on Teddy's lunch habits or changing timings.
To his surprise, she winked at him. "You know that girls love babies, right?"
***
A/N --- I totally enjoyed writing this one, and I always had this inkling that Harry would have had a profound moment with Teddy at some point after the War. OK so I'm not that great at the emo bits, but hey, I tried, right?
This one is for Teddy, coz even in my head, he's so darn cute :P
R&R people! :D
