7.02 am.
It's 7.02 am and she no longer can stay in bed. So, pulling down the covers, April sits on the bed, with her back against the headboard. Closing her eyes for a second, she takes a minute to find the energy to step outside. The uncertainty of what she was going to find on the other side of the door was enough to keep her awake during the night. But she and Jackson talked, and talked… and talked. She isn't sure things were clear now, or even if they would get better. The only thing she left with the night before was with a promise. A promise she was willing to keep for once. No more fighting and no more doubting. They needed to open up more often to each other and talk about things, life and their feelings like they once did. Placing both feet on the floor, and finding her soft robe on the way, she walks towards the window. The early morning brought in a little rain, but she could tell the dark clouds in the sky would disappear sooner than later. As people say, after the storm, comes the rainbow… right?!
As she looks at their small backyard from her bedroom window, she takes a moment to picture their future together. Harriet, running around with her friends, having summer pajama parties, birthdays or even celebrating 4th of Julys, with Jackson by the grill, helping cook dinner. She could see how a trampoline would fit in the corner, or maybe a set of swings. Harriet would love it when she got a little older! She could help mom grow a little garden, just enough to remind her she's a Kepner too, a farm girl by heart. April imagined how fun it would be to have Harriet in rain boots, gardening by her side, while Jackson tried to join in but falling miserably, like the true city boy that he is… and would all laugh. Laughter always filled their home, and warmth, and joy, and the memory of Samuel would be a happy one, because Harriet would know she has a big brother in heaven watching over her. Smiling, April walks away from the window and makes plans to go into the kitchen. Coffee! After last night's lack of sleep, only the Lord knows how much she needed coffee.
7.05 am. He splashes some water across his face. Finding a towel by the sink, he places it against his cheeks. Then, staring at the mirror, he finds his blue eyes staring back at him. He spent the night tossing and turning in bed, thinking about April and how he much he wanted to keep talking to her. It's been too long since they had a real conversation, like two adults friends, resolving the problems of the past and putting it all in the back. There's a sense of relief in the air and he can't wait to see her now that he knows there's a new day ahead and the possibilities are endless when it comes to them. Not all is forgotten, but somehow he found the space and time he needed to forgive. Healing started the moment they both sat down and decided to have a conversation, laying it all down. He wasn't a saint and she wasn't the only sinner here. They both made mistakes, but it was time to move on now. As he washed his face, Jackson wondered if it was worth giving therapy another shot. Maybe not, but it was a possibility he shouldn't discard right away like the last time. Perhaps they could heal from the inside out without help, who knew?!
As Jackson walks down the hall, he notices how April's bedroom door is open. He takes a second to hold the door and take a peek inside. Her bed was empty with all the covers down; on the nightstand her phone was quietly sitting, the opposite of the night before, when Maggie tried to reach her at all costs; there was picture of April and Harriet smiling next to a book he could it was the bible. However, there was something else that caught his eye. Standing on top of her bible, a sparkly ring was placed. It was a ring he knew too well. Her engagement ring.
7.18 am. She opens the kitchens backdoor, the one that led to the small porch outside. Finding a dry place to sit, by the step, April held a white mug in between her hands. The morning is a bit chilly, but she didn't mind getting the fresh crispy air.
Jackson still has feelings for her, April knows it now. So, it's time to fight. She isn't letting this love go to waste and hate herself for the rest of her life for not giving it another shot. Call her crazy, maybe she is… but who isn't crazy when it comes to love?! How did things change so much too? Only a few years ago, she could only dream she'd be a surgeon, with a family and all… yet here she is, divorced, yet in love with her ex-husband, the father of her children, the love of her life. Time goes by so fast, why waste it? As she thinks about it, she regrets spending so much time on things that never really mattered. But it's not good to be stuck in the memories and the wishes of how differently things could've been if only…
Even though it's still early, she probably needs to hurry because she needs to pick up Harriet from Arizona's. Luckily, it was Saturday and she was off work, which meant she had no other plans other than to snuggle with her baby girl.
"Hey."
April quickly turns her face when she hears his deep voice coming from behind her. "Hey." She smiles, watching as he leans on the door, with both hands on his pajama pockets. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah." He lied, before quickly shaking his head and changing his mind. "I mean, no… I barely got any sleep. You?"
"Same." April replies, noticing as his eyes never leave hers. "Coffee?" She offers, holding her mug in front of her.
"No, thanks." Jackson says, not as hungry as he thought he was. "Mind if I join you?" April shakes her head no, and he takes a few steps before sitting next to her. She sips her drink quietly and they sit in silence for a few more minutes, just enjoying each other's company, unsure of what to say.
"I think we need to work on the garden." Jackson finally says, breaking the silence. "I mean, a set of swigs over there would look nice for Harriet." He says, pointing out.
"I was just thinking the same." She looks at him with a smile. "Maybe this spring we could work on that project."
"One project at the time, right?"
She nods. "You think…" April starts, before stopping to clear her throat. "You think Harriet will ask about us?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you think she will want to know how we met, how we starting dating, got married, how she was born... you know, all that?"
"I think so." Jackson replied, looking straight, without blinking. "It's gonna be one heck of a story, but yeah…"
"Do you know what you're gonna say to her when the time comes?"
"I'm not sure. You?"
"I'll tell her that I met her father on a rainy day, on my first day as an intern. We were both wearing these dreadful orange scrubs, but he still managed to look as handsome as ever." She starts, putting the mug with her coffee down as she continued speaking. "I'll tell her that I fell in love with him slowly, like… like when you get in a rollercoaster and it starts driving out slowly, but then you start feeling it go faster and faster and you hold on tight until it suddenly drops and you just let your hands go up in the air, and your stomach feels funny, like a million butterflies decide to live inside of you, and you feel alive and happy and scared all at once. But it's worth it, the ride is so worth it even though you're scared and have no idea if you're ever getting out." April licks her lips, placing her hands on the floor, on each side of her, before moving her eyes to his. "I'll tell that was head over heels in love with him and that he was the proudest man I've ever met. Yet, the kindest, the most respectful, most honest. I'll tell her that I dreamed about becoming his wife many time before I actually did. That we got married on a sunny day, how he kissed my lips and put a ring on my finger and told me he was going to love me forever. I will tell her that I believed in him with every little part of me, because he's a man that keeps his promises. I will tell her that in that moment I knew that our love was forever. And when she gets a little bit older, I will tell her that even though life got in the way, I still believe our love could last forever. She's proof of it. I will tell Harriet how she saved my life and her father's too. I will tell her how wanted she was. She was so desired, so loved. I will tell that she's a fighter, just like her parents were." April paused, with a spark in her eyes as tears formed behind them. "And I hope she sees, in us, what true love is. I will tell her that I regret many things in my life, but I will never regret marrying her father. Forever is forever."
"Is it possible we're meant to be?" Jackson's question sounds like an affirmation. Gasping for air after hearing all her words, he fights his own tears. "Is it possible you're… it for me? Forever?"
"I don't know. What do you think?"
"I think…" He pauses, searches for her hand and takes it on his. "I think the rollercoaster hasn't stopped yet. I don't think it's possible to get out even if you want to, I mean… when we're meant to be…" April stares at the way his fingers slowly play with hers and how perfectly the palms of their hands fit. "The ride isn't perfect, but when you love someone you just don't quit, right?"
She looks up when his words come out. You don't just stop, you don't just quit. She knows it by heart. Then, all of a sudden, she feels somehow a sharp object in the palm of her hand. "I found this in your bedroom. I know I shouldn't be sneaking around, but-" Jackson starts, with a low tone. "It's something I got for you a long time ago. Something you wore proudly on your finger. Something I took joy watching you carry. It's still yours. Forever."
As she lowers her eyes, April sees her old diamond engagement ring. "What does this mean?" She asks, confused.
"Forever." He tells her and she smiles. He's always been a man of few words and big actions.
Forever.
…
5 years later
Little Harriet, now 5 and a half, loves playing in the backyard and gardening with her mother, especially in the spring, when the birds start singing and the days get a little bit longer and the rain gives its place to the sun. With her bright pink rain boots on, she walks like she's the princess and that's her backyard is a magical kingdom. Jackson, on the other hand, hates the mud, he hates the worms, he hates getting his hands dirty, but he loves his daughter. Gardening isn't his favorite hobby, but it watching as Harriet gets curious about plants and the animals and everything else in between makes him a proud father.
"Daddy! Come, come…" She waves from across the grass. Jackson doesn't take a second thought and abides. "Come see. We've got baby tomatoes. Mommy says we have to take real good care of 'em."
"I see that." Jackson says as he approaches his daughter and takes a knee to be by her eye level. April's currently at the hospital, working. They managed to rebuild their relationship slowly, on stronger foundations where there was room for communication.
"Now you have something new to tell mommy when she gets home."
"I will tell her how I watered the flowers and the cucumbers and the tomatoes and how you helped me put on my boots and come play."
"That's right. But you know what? It's time now."
"Now?" She says, in a bored tone.
"C'mon kiddo, bath time."
"No, wait! Mommy always lets me play for five more minutes."
"I did too. Your time is up, missy!"
"But daddy, look..." Harriet says, placing both of her dirty hand on each side of his face. "Five more minutes and then I go inside."
"You can play some more tomorrow." He replies, not minding at all her tiny little dirty hands on him.
"Tomorrow is Sunday. We got church."
"Church doesn't last all day."
Harriet rolls her eyes and knows she can't win this time. Defeated, she shrugs. "Fine."
"C'mon, baby. Bath time, then dinner, then bed time story, then sleep. Deal?"
"Okay. Harriet replies. "But this time I pick the bed time story."
"You always get to pick one of your books."
"I know, daddy… but this time I want a different story."
"What is it?" Jackson asks, getting up and holding his daughter's hand as they walk side by side.
"I want the story about how you met my mommy?"
"Really?" Harriet nods, as her big hazel eyes look up at him, begging for a fairy tale. "Well, I met your mother on a rainy day, on our first day as interns in the hospital. We were both wearing these awful orange scrubs, but she looked as adorable as ever…"
