When Penny broke up with Kurt, the only thing Sheldon could say was, "I suppose we are going to get no actual work done today, then?" Penny was a great mess all over the small table that they worked at, tissues spread around her like a tiny ocean of her own sorrow. Leonard was tentatively patting her on the shoulder, his face alternating between compassionate and victorious.
"You could show me a little, I don't know, sympathy, Sheldon!" She blew her nose noisily into another tissue and tossed it on the pile.
"Don't worry about him," Leonard said, rubbing her shoulder gently. "He doesn't feel."
"Leonard," Sheldon said, "I resent that statement and the evidence that I can resent that statement negates your hypothesis that I do not feel."
"What?" Penny bit out.
"I didn't mean it that way, Sheldon," Leonard said, standing up and moving around Penny. "I just meant that you don't feel the same way that everyone else does," Leonard said, his voice getting higher and more placating.
Sheldon crossed his arms and looked down his nose at Leonard. "And you support this statement with what?"
"Penny is sitting here, crying, and you can do nothing but worry about your contact agreement and your schedule."
"I merely did not wish to allow Penny to wallow in pessimistic thoughts about her own pathetic life."
"You know," Penny spoke up, her voice was heavy with tears, "I think you're getting better at hiding your insults, Sheldon. I almost didn't pick that one up."
"Sheldon, I'm just saying," Leonard was obviously playing all sides of the field right now, trying to juggle making Penny happy with appeasing Sheldon, "you could try a little harder."
"Would you like me to try as hard as you? Because you are expending a considerable amount of energy to, what is the phrase? Oh, yes, "get in her pants"?"
"Look," Penny said, "I'm going to go and, what was the phrase? Oh, yeah, wallow in my pathetic life and you two have your own little break-up, okay? I've had enough of all this for one day." Penny got up and stomped out of the door, slamming it behind her.
"Well, this could have gone worse," Sheldon muttered, gathering his things in preparation to go home for Star Trek.
"Yeah, Sheldon," Leonard turned around on him. "But, instead, you go ahead and accuse me of...that in front of Penny."
"You mean to tell me you are not trying to "hook up" with Penny?" Leonard looked around the room, as if searching for something, anything to save him from the truth.
"Agh...duh....Look, that's not the point."
"I disagree, it is very much the point," Sheldon interrupted. "You are angry with me because I inadvertently interfered with your attempts to ingratiate yourself with Penny."
"Don't pretend you know me, Sheldon. We've been friends, for what, four months?"
"Barely three and a half and you have proven yourself to be quite a readable personality. You have a singular goal: Penny."
"And you are destined for something so much greater than love, huh?" Leonard accused. Sheldon scoffed quietly and picked up his bag.
"Science is a greater love than that of a fickle human." And with that, he left Leonard alone in the tutoring room.
"Oh, my God, she wasn't kidding. I think Sheldon and I really just broke up." Leonard said down at the table and wondered how his life always seemed to come back to him being alone.
"Sheldon?" Penny said tentatively to the lump leaning against the brick wall of the school building.
"Hello, Penny," he said, his voice quivering a little.
"What's the matter?" she asked, sinking to the ground beside him.
"Nothing. I thought you would be home by now and half-way through a box of chocolates."
"What makes you think that?" she said, her voice slightly curious.
"It's what Missy does when she dumps someone." Penny looked over him for a moment, thinking about how she would much rather be doing just that. Instead of admitting that, she just shrugged her shoulders. They didn't speak, just sitting (Penny in the dirt and Sheldon on his windbreaker.) Penny wondered how Leonard could ever think that Sheldon didn't feel. It was quite obvious to her that he did.
"Are you upset about Leonard?" He shook his head no but she could see the little stubborn streak in him that made her not believe him. She saw it because she knew the same stubborn streak ran through her. "Maybe this is good for you guys, Sheldon."
"Good for us? Fighting? I hate fighting." Penny just nodded, thinking about how much she loves the thrill of an argument and the smug victorious smirk on her face when she won, and understanding that Sheldon wasn't the same.
"Everyone has to fight a little bit, Sheldon. It's how you grow."
"And I suppose you and Kurt had many arguments?" She felt a stab in her heart and it instantly flared up into anger at Sheldon; wounded, friendless Sheldon.
"Look, I'm talking about you and Leonard here, okay?"
"Okay," he said. He looked off at the sky for a second before he turned back to Penny. "Would you ever go out with Leonard?"
"Leonard? God, no. No, we are..." she stopped to consider it for a moment before turning back to him and said, "acquaintances."
"Acquaintances?" Sheldon questioned.
"Yes, and nothing more."
"That is interesting because I am sure Leonard would classify you and he as, at the very least, friends."
"Friends, acquaintances, whatever. I don't have room in my life for this kind of stuff, Sheldon," she sighed.
"On that note, I can relate, albeit only in the vague sense of it." Penny looked at his profile, just wondering what it felt like to be brilliant and so...above everyone else.
"We should get home." She stood up and dusted the dirt off the back of her jeans and watched as Sheldon slid his windbreaker back on and gripped the strap of his bag. They both turned away from each other to head towards the different parts of town before Sheldon turned suddenly and said, "I expect you to know the parallel postulate before tutoring tomorrow."
"Make up with Leonard, Sheldon," was all she said. Sheldon cocked his head and raised an eyebrow, his face pursed in confusion.
"What does that have to do with Euclidean geometry?"
