DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company
A/N: Update!
As I've said in the spoiler, this chap's going to be irritating but meaningful…
As always, lemme know if you're still interested…
No bashing after this chapter, okay? We all knfow that it's not always rainbows and puppies when it comes to our favorite ship…
BREAKING WALLS CHAPTER 7: DISAPPOINTMENT
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Feb. 16, after lunch
Princeton Plainsboro's Dean of Medicine was unexplainably glowing that day. Everyone noticed. She smiled more than usually. They didn't know whether she got laid the night before or she was just very happy for an unknown reason.
Cuddy went inside her office and sat on her chair, wanting to finish more work today because she was really feeling good. Her conversation with House the other night relieved her of all the itching questions looming in her head. Finally, House admitted that he likes her. House had feelings for her. Why did she feel like a silly schoolgirl all of a sudden? She didn't know but she loved the feel of it. She was more than excited about the date they'll be having once House was better.
Thankfully there weren't any complications and House was slowly recuperating from his injuries. She was thinking of making him try therapy again. It'll help with his leg, after all.
She was pulled out of her thoughts when Wilson entered her office. She immediately smirked, "So you're taking House's place while he's stuck in his bed?" she asked Wilson dryly.
"You're glowing," Wilson stated with a shit-eating grin.
"You're bothering me," Cuddy countered.
"So, you talked to him? Talk, I mean, talk, talk, not banter," Wilson inquired.
Cuddy gave Wilson a shy smile, "Yes but we also had our share of banter," she told her friend.
"Wow. That's great! What did he say?" Wilson asked, hoping he wasn't prying much.
Cuddy smiled widely this time, "He likes me," she said out loud.
Wilson furrowed his brow, "Yeah, I think I've always told you that," he told her sarcastically.
Cuddy clicked her tongue at Wilson and tucked her chin on her palm, "He TOLD me he likes me," she reiterated.
Wilson's eyes grew wide, "Wow! I thought he'd keep you in the shadows forever," he said with a laugh.
Cuddy laughed with Wilson, shaking her head, "Yeah, I couldn't believe it either," she honestly told him.
Wilson's face suddenly turned serious, "How do you think he'll mess it up?" he asked Cuddy.
Cuddy's face fell, "Hopefully he doesn't," she told Wilson. She knew that House had the tendency to do self-sabotage for some unknown reason. She just hoped that they would be able to last longer than what others expect.
She internally smacked herself. She was getting ahead of herself. They weren't even dating yet! It was just a very huge bonus that she's known House for 18 years.
Wilson shook his head, "Sorry, it was a stupid question."
Cuddy offered him a soft smile, "It was inevitable."
Wilson smiled apologetically at her.
"So, any plans of going out?" he asked her.
"Yeah, as soon as he's capable of doing so," she told Wilson.
Wilson smiled proudly.
"Oh wipe that smile off your face. Didn't your parents tell you that gloating is bad?" Cuddy told Wilson, a bit annoyed at his face.
Wilson laughed, "Sorry. It's just an amazing achievement even if I had nothing to do with it at all. It was all you two," he told her.
Cuddy smiled back at Wilson. He was right. It was all them this time.
Just the two of them.
A week later…
House was finally discharged a week after being admitted. By the irritating perseverance and determination of Carl and Wilson in forcing him to take physical therapy, his leg wasn't aching as badly as it should be on normal days. He was thankful but he'd never admit that.
He and Cuddy agreed to go out the second day after he was discharged. After agreeing on the date and place they went their separate ways.
He started getting very nervous about the date. He was thinking of many what ifs. What if Cuddy was expecting something from him? What if he screwed this up? What if he ruined their friendship? What if...? House shook his head. It was his misanthropic side speaking.
When Cuddy got home, she was smiling like an idiot. The day after tomorrow she and House will go on a date. God forbid, as much as she loved his sexual innuendos—she'll never admit that--, she secretly hoped that he wouldn't embarrass her the way he did at the hospital in front of the staff. Unbelievably so, she didn't expect anything from him besides behaving a bit more than he usually 'behaves'.
The date
In about an hour they were supposed to meet at Santi's, an Italian restaurant that was much known in Princeton. House suggested Cuddy the place and thankfully, she agreed. He had the date booked after Cuddy agreed almost instantly.
House was caught up in his rationalizations. He was getting very nervous and the first time that he actually needed Wilson's nagging, his best friend decided not to act like his mother and tell him what to do and what not.
What House didn't know was that Wilson trusted him completely this time. He trusted House to not screw this up. He knew that House never screwed things up when they really mattered. He was right. But this particular time:
Wilson thought wrong.
There were too many walls. He's built them up so strongly and securely that the barbs of pride and misanthropy surrounding them refused to comply with him. Maybe those weren't the only hindrances he was facing. The fear of getting hurt again was crawling into every crevice of his being as the seconds and minutes tick by.
A few walls have tumbled down thanks to one Lisa Cuddy. Her drive to make him realize that happiness exists always gets to him. She never gave up on him. Ever.
His darkest night brought forth a light. A new hope, that there actually was happiness waiting for him if he, or someone else, breaks his walls and fight his demons.
Breaking walls…
An act easier thought of than done. He just wasn't ready yet.
House sighed as he took a sip of his Bourbon, glass after glass, drinking away his rationalizations and slowly slipping into the world where nothing else matters, where nothing hurts, and where he's numb; a state of drunken stupor.
A large part of him was warning him for every glass he drank that what he's doing was a very huge mistake… his heart. But he didn't mind it. He was too drunk to care or even notice it. Nor did he notice the time passing by.
Cuddy was in a flurry of emotions. She was happy, excited, and very nervous.
She was quite fortunate that she had no problems dressing up for a date while battling pre-date jitters. But this was Dr. Gregory House she was going out with. Dressing up made things even… easier.
Cuddy smiled. She couldn't believe it herself. She was going on a date with House. She was smiling widely in front of her floor length mirror while admiring her simple choice for their date: A red v neck cocktail dress. It was very simple but it really hugged her in all the right curves and showed off the "twins" as House referred to her breasts. She wore matching heels too.
It was 6:45 and Cuddy gathered her purse and double checked her hair and wardrobe before exiting her house and driving off to Santi's.
She sat on their table, waiting for him. She checked her cell phone's clock, it was 7 sharp and he still wasn't there. Did she actually expect him to be on time? She chuckled and shook her head.
7:15 and House was still nowhere in sight. She was now drumming her fingers uneasily on top of the table while her other hand's fingers were playing nervously on the bracelet she was wearing on her other hand.
Will he come? Oh my God, if he doesn't I'll… I'll do what? Cuddy's brow furrowed and she swallowed a lump forming in her throat. I'll do what, exactly? Give him more clinic duty? She scoffed quietly and then sighed. I don't know exactly what I'll do. He was the one who asked me out. Was it too soon? WHY ISN'T HE HERE?! That jerk stood me up. He'll have a blast at this. Cuddy sighed.
It was already 7:30 and he wasn't there. Cuddy dialed Wilson's phone and a few seconds later he answered.
"Cuddy how's the date?" Wilson greeted hopefully.
"It's not a date because I don't have one!" She hissed.
"Where's---"
"I thought you'd know," Cuddy cut him off.
"I didn't help him get ready this time," Wilson told her honestly, now rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. The one time he trusted him completely, House disappoints him. Wilson knew better than to call House on being a disappointment because he knew House hated being one. But he really was this time.
"You're not his keeper," Cuddy said more calmly this time.
"Want me to save you there?" Wilson asked her, knowing that she was probably getting a bit conscious for having waited there for half an hour just to leave alone. She was a friend and he had to save her at least from getting more embarrassed than she already was.
"Please," Cuddy pleaded, "Thank you, Wilson."
"I'll be there in 5, it's just walking distance from my place," Wilson said and shut his phone after hearing Cuddy's approval.
Indeed, about seconds past 5 minutes, Wilson was already making his way to their table.
"How are you doing?" Wilson asked her after giving her shoulder a squeeze.
Cuddy looked shyly at him, almost sadly, "How do you think?" she asked him.
"Well, you look beautiful right now but I'm pretty sure you're feeling I don't know… betrayed?" he asked with an unsure tone to the last word.
Cuddy looked at him exasperated but with a soft smile, "Yes. Can we just eat, please, while talking about how this date that I was actually looking forward to turned into a friendly date?" she asked him.
Wilson nodded in agreement, "Cuddy, maybe he's just scared," he tried.
"House is House," Cuddy said in a shrug. She was now building up her walls in front of Wilson.
"Will you give him a piece of your mind tomorrow?" he asked her.
Cuddy clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, "Nothing I say will matter after he did this. He knew where he had to go and what he had to be here for but he didn't. So I don't need to know why," she lied.
Wilson just nodded and offered her a friendly smile.
"Thanks for saving me, though," Cuddy sincerely thanked him.
"Anytime," he answered.
They ordered their dinner and desert and talked about none House-related things and Wilson drove Cuddy to her house.
He took a cab from Cuddy's house to House's apartment to give his best friend a piece of his mind since Cuddy won't.
Cuddy's house, 9:45 pm
Cuddy didn't know if she should be mad, upset, or nonchalant about what House did. She was each of those.
He disappointed her again, like he usually did. Why does he do that?! Does he find it THAT fun to mess with me?
Cuddy shook her head. She wasn't going to cry over this. She's as strong woman, for God's sakes! She allowed herself to be hurt but she didn't allow herself to cry.
She sighed deeply and then got ready for bed. She wasn't going to stay up all night to finish some work she brought home. Not tonight. She got into bed after doing her nightly routine of drinking tea and reading.
Would she have slept with him if he did show up tonight?
She mentally slapped herself for such thoughts when she felt something start to bubble up deep inside her.
She felt so betrayed. After everything he told her and she him, she thought of what more they skipped. She thought of a reason for House not to show up but she couldn't make up one for him.
She thought making him admit he liked her was the hardest part. Now she knew it wasn't. She had to find out what the hardest part is. But she doesn't know when she should try and find out.
Again, she sighed deeply and closed her eyes, slowly surrendering to sleep.
House's Apartment, 10 pm
House was lying on his couch, oblivious of the time, when he heard a loud banging on his door. As usual, he just tried and waited for the person to get tired and leave but it didn't.
"House, open up or I'll break down this door," Wilson's voice bellowed outside.
House just lay there, not minding his ranting friend.
Wilson checked the knob and found out it was unlocked so he opened it and barged inside House's apartment.
"Of all the stupidest--" Wilson started in anger, seeing his best friend sprawled on the couch, drunk.
"Ever heard of knocking?" House muttered, getting into a sitting position.
"You're right, it never works. And don't deflect," Wilson pointed a finger at him.
Wilson then placed his hands on his hips, "Why didn't you show up?" he demanded an answer.
"I didn't want to," House told him.
"No," Wilson said sarcastically, "You just wanted to get drunk," he chastised him.
"You let yourself in you could let yourself out, now," House told Wilson, standing up from the couch but easily slumped back down after feeling dizzy.
"She waited for you," Wilson told him.
House felt guilty but he didn't show a speck of guilt, "So I'm supposed to feel guilty over her free will of waiting?"
Wilson's blood was boiling, "Why didn't you show up?"
House knew Wilson was very serious now, "I was afraid," he almost whispered.
"You were afraid of what?!" Wilson screeched.
"I wasn't ready," House said with his head hung low. He really wanted Cuddy, but he didn't know if he could have her. IF he was right for her at all.
"House, you've been beating around the bush with Cuddy for God knows how many years know, how are you not ready?" Wilson said in a bit more calmer voice.
House shook his head, "I don't know. I just wasn't ready," he repeated.
Wilson shook his head, "When will you be?" he asked him sternly and seriously.
He walked out of House's apartment without even a single goodbye, leaving his friend to brood after his nagging, hoping that he struck a chord.
A/N:
Lemme know what you think…
Please Review…
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ASH update, tomorrow…
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I'd like to thank the ff people for helping me regain my mojo amidst RL's challenges:
Brit (Toledo Girl)
Jess(Monkey and Music Lover)
Helen (Lenasti16)
