Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters... They belong to the amazing Louise Rennison.
7. Beyond the valley of Loserville
Friday, 22 June
1:15 pm
Blubbered all the way back from Italy.
I have mousey mincers which are red an swollen.
I just want my dismal bed and to be left alone with the Rack of Love.
1 minute later
Rebecca drove me home.
'Gee. I'll speak to him.'
It's all moi's fault.
I didn't even want the Italian cakey.
I just wanted my Dave the Tart.
5 minutes later, Home
The Ace Gang are sitting on my wall with a banner.
WELCOME HOME KITTYKAT
Rebecca frowned. 'Would you like me to talk to them?'
I nodded. I didn't feel like talking.
2 minutes later
Climbed out Rebecca's Mini.
1 minute later
Being hugged by the Ace Gang.
I just blubbered even more.
1 minute later
Ran into my house.
Up to my bedroom.
Pushed my wardrobe in front of the door.
Climbed into my teletubby jimjams.
I want my Hornmeister back.
1:36 pm
The Ace Gang are at my bedroom door. 'Georgia. Let us in.'
Why don't they understand that moi and the Rack of Love wish to be left alone?
'Gee... like... err... what... like... I mean... happened?'
'Ja. Kittykat hasn't told us what happened.'
5 minutes later
The Ace Gang are sadly mistaken, if they think I'm letting them in.
1 minute later
RoRo's wearing her new bread and smoking her pipe.
How does moi know? Because I let them in.
1:43 pm
The Ace Gang want to know about Italy.
RoRo said I must spill the tuna from the primordial horn.
I do worry about her sometimes.
'Rebecca and Millie are preggers.'
See what I did there?
... Changed the subject, you loons.
'Georgia don't change the subject.' Damn.
Forgot that Wise Woman of the Forest was here.
'They're having twins.'
1 minute later
Jools biffed me over the head with a pillow. 'What about Dave?'
Tears sprung to my eyes when Jools mentioned his name.
5 minutes later
The Ace Gang left.
Jazzy was being naice.
'I'll come back later with midget gems.'
I smiled. 'Thanks Jas.'
We hugged... And I didn't even call Jas a lessie.
4:14 pm
Jas returned with midget gems.
We sat on my bed gossing.
Jas let moi eat most of the midget gems.
3 minutes later
I've missed so so much whilst away in Pizza-a-gogo land.
'He ate RoRo's beard?'
'Rosie had a spazattack.' Ooo. Poor Sven.
Almost feel sorry for the big Viking.
2 minutes later
Snogging Scale update!
Dec and Ellen hit number 10.
You shocked. Moi's inner goldfish is shocked.
'What happened?' I was vair vair full of curiosity.
'Ell dithered and dithered and dithered about it. We don't really know what happened.'
I laughed. I've missed the dither queen.
4:38 pm
Hmm... Po has returned to normalosity.
Her and Hunky found some newt poo near the pond.
'We think it's a new species of new...' I interrupted.
'Really Jas? Really... We must phone the media. Vole couple find exotic park dwelling newt.'
Jas wasn't vair impressed. 'What happened with Dave?'
3 minutes later
Threw Lord Sandra at Jas.
Sorry Lord Sandra.
You were the closest object.
'I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM!'
'I only asked Gee.'
4 minutes later
Jas left. Back to the Rack of Love.
6:32 pm
Rebecca is here to check on me.
I was blubbering into my pillow.
1 minute later
B sat next to me. I hugged her.
Least I still have B and Millie.
1 minute later
B ran her fingers through my hair.
'How about I stay for dinner? I'll cook.'
I nodded. 'Will your parents mind?'
I laughed. My parents: actually cooking.
Rebecca raised her eyebrows at me.
Gadzooks... She looks like him when she does that.
4 minutes later, The Kitchen
Thought Vati was going to have a nervy spaz when he found Rebecca cooking.
She smiled. 'Evening Mr. Nicolson. Georgia said you wouldn't mind if I cooked dinner.'
1 minute later
'Bob... What's that smell?' Mutti entered the kitchen.
'Evening Mrs. Nicolson. Georgia thought you deserved a break from cooking.'
Mutti smiled. 'Gee, darling. Who's this polite young lady?'
'Mutti... You remember Rebecca.'
'Oh yes: Richard and Jane's daughter. Of course. Would you like any help, Dear?'
'NO!' Both Vati and I spoke in sync.
It was so vair freaky deaky.
1 minute later
Mutti hit Vati. 'Bob! Don't be rude we have a guest.'
6:57 pm
Mutti leant against the kitchen top.
Rebecca was handling the situation vair well indeedio.
Hmmm... Are the Laugh's Nicolson-immuno?
'You have a very nice house Mrs. Nicolson.'
Mutti is still smiling. It's tres tres creepio.
'Thank you, but you may call me Connie, Dear... Your brother does.'
Rebecca glanced at me briefly.
I ignored the fact that my own Mutti had just mentioned him.
3 minutes later
Poor Rebecca is being grilled by Mutti.
I don't mean Mutti was stuffing B into the stove.
Sometimes I think you loons are in a permanent state of stupid brain.
I was merely explaining the manner in which Mutti is questioning B.
'Did you and Amelia used to swap places?' Rebecca laughed.
'Sometimes. It took Charles a whole year to figure out the differences.'
'Would Charles be that charming husband of yours?'
'Yes. He is visiting his father in London today.'
'And your sister?' Rebecca stirred the dinner.
'Erm... Millie is having a baby.'
'A baby. That's lovely.' I smiled.
'Yeah. Twins. I'm expecting too.'
1 minute later
Mutti congratulated Rebecca.
2 minutes later
'What's your opinion on Gee's elbows?'
Ohmygiddygod. Not moi's bloody elbows. Again!
Rebecca laughed. 'Connie. You realise I'm not qualified.'
'Could she have dislocated them playing hockey?'
Rebecca laughed. 'I doubt it.'
1 minute later
Rebecca's examining my elbows.
'Connie. Georgia's elbows are perfect.'
Thank you. B. Hear that Mutti. Perfect-a-mondo.
7:23 pm, Sitting at the Dining Table
Yum. Rebecca's cooking is tres delicious.
'Rebecca, Hun. This is amazing.'
'Thank you, Connie. I cook all the time at home.'
1 minute later
Think Mutti is in luuurve with Rebecca the Laugh.
8:11 pm
Walked down the garden path with B.
'I apologise for my parents.' Rebecca laughed.
'Don't. It was fun.' I raised my eyebrows.
'Mutti wants to adopt you. You should be scared.'
Rebecca laughed again. 'Get some sleep, Gee.'
3 minutes later
Watching B drive off in her Mini.
8:20 pm, The Rack of Luuurve
Phoning Dave.
1 minute later
It's ringing.
1 minute later
Answer machine. It's so vair naice to hear his voice.
'You have reached the Biscuit. I am currently unavailable. You know Kittykats to spank. Laughs to have. Please leave a message after the Pants. And I'll get back to you.'
1 minute later
Hung up.
6 minutes later
Phoning Dave. Again.
1 minute later
Gadzooks... Dave picked up.
'Georgia. What do you want?'
'I'm sorry.'
'Sorry doesn't cut it this time. I've had enough.'
Dave hung up.
Saturday, 23 June
8:34 am
'GEORGIA, HUN! GET OUT OF BED!' Blubbering.
2 minutes later
Mutti came into my room. 'GEORGIA!'
'MUTTI! I'm having a crisis and you're not helping... Dave hates me. He doesn't even want to speak to me. I'm so beyond the valley of loserville, because of the poxy Handbag Horse.'
1 minute later
Mutti left.
10:11 am
What does Mas think he's doing?
5 minutes later
Opened the front door.
'Cara. You fine?' Fine. FINE!
I'll give you fine, Masimo Scarlotti.
'DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!.'
1 minute later
Punched Mas.
'Georgia!' Robbie appeared from somewhere.
He held moi back.
'GET OFF! Robbie... I've lost everything because of him.'
Tears came to my eyes. Robbie let go.
1 minute later
Slammed the front door and scampered back to my boudoir of sorrow.
1 minute later, Looking Out My Bedroom Window
Gadzooks... I made Mas' nose bleed.
A.N. Okay. Next Chapter. Hope you all enjoy it. I felt Mas deserved a duffing up. The next chapter is the blind date chapter. I'll be using a range of POV's from the Ace Gang and Barmy Army. You'll have to wait and see if any of the dates are successful. Hehe. Love RoxannetheLaugh...
