Grace dozes at Castle's back, her eyes fluttering shut every few minutes, fighting to stay awake through their walk to Tribeca. Night is already beginning to fall, dancing with the final vestiges of daylight, and the skating has all of them a bit worn, the burn of sore muscles a promise in Kate's legs, and she huddles closer to Rick on the crowded sidewalk.
"Order in maybe? Or I could cook us something at your place?" Castle suggests, adjusting his grip on Grace's slack form when they pause at the crosswalk just a block from her apartment.
"Alexis?" she inquires, dropping her cheek to his shoulder and rubbing her palm at Grace's back.
"I've got my phone on high volume. She'll call as soon as she's home or on her way," he assures her, turning his head to graze a kiss to the top of hers before the pedestrian sign can flash, and it's so natural, so easy, that she closes her eyes, savors the sensation of something finally feeling right.
"Whatever you want to do is fine," she murmurs, straightening up as the light turns and they cross the street.
"Ooh, do you have the ingredients for spaghetti? I'm feeling Italian tonight," he muses, grinning when she hums a laugh.
"Sounds good to me, but no, I have pasta but no sauce. If you want to stop and buy a can though-"
"A can?" he mutters as her apartment comes into view. "No way, Beckett. If we're having spaghetti, I'm going all out and making you sauce. Here, take the spider monkey and I'll run to the grocery store on your street."
She chuckles at the nickname, but holds her arms out for Grace once they're only a few feet from her building, bracing herself for her daughter's weight. Rick waits until she's settled to squeeze her arm and start down the street for the store.
"Be right back," he promises over his shoulder and she finds herself smiling even once he's been swallowed by the sea of pedestrians once more. Smiling at the absurdity of it all, the strange comfort in her chest that twines with the knowledge of him coming back to her so they can cook spaghetti in her kitchen.
"Momma, s'cold," Grace complains, burying her face in Kate's shoulder, and Beckett snaps out of it, covers the last few strides of distance to enter the lobby of her building.
"And you're heavy," Kate mumbles after they're safely in the elevator, swaying with Grace in her arms while they make the ride up.
"Rick carried me all the way home," her daughter points out, voice clearing with wakefulness.
Kate has to set her down outside their front door to fish her keys from her coat pocket. "He did."
"Where is he now? I didn't get to say goodbye," Grace realizes, sounding so dismayed that Kate pauses before she can turn they key in the lock, cupping the back of her daughter's skull in her palm to soothe her.
"He ran to the store right down the street to pick up some ingredients for dinner. He'll be right back, bud."
Grace deflates with relief and Kate's heart rabbits with fear at witnessing just how attached Grace has become, but it spikes with hope too. Because if it's right and real and lasting, this could be something wonderful for them both.
It takes far longer than it should for Rick to come back, a fifteen minute trip stretching into a half hour, and by forty-five minutes, she's pacing the living room floor while Grace sits on the sofa, staring out the window with worried eyes.
"Something's wrong."
Kate releases a shuddering breath and withdraws her phone from her pocket, thumbs the device to life.
"He would have called and there were sirens earlier," Grace persists, perching on her knees atop the couch cushions. "Rick only wouldn't call if there was an emergency and he couldn't. What if something happened to him? What if - like Grandma-"
"Grace," Kate chokes, swallowing hard at the verbalization of what has become her greatest fear within the last hour. "We'll go check, okay? Let me try calling him again and-"
Her phone buzzes in her hand, her heart leaping into her throat at the sight of his name on the caller ID.
"Rick," she breathes, jerking the phone to her ear, bracing a hand at Grace's hip when she ambles onto the surface of the coffee table to stand at Kate's height, breaking the rules, but just this once, for him-
"I'm so sorry, Kate," he professes, his voice shaking almost as badly as her hands. "I wanted to call sooner, but as soon as the cops showed up-"
"What?" she gasps, wishing that Grace wasn't here for this conversation, wishing she'd never let him leave her side for some damn spaghetti sauce. "What happened? Where are you?"
"There was a robbery, at the store, and I was stuck there afterwards giving my statement, but I'm okay, walking to your place right now-"
Grace hops down from the table and runs for the front door, swinging it open to wait for him, her eyes expectantly scanning the hall.
"You're okay?" she repeats, her knees locking to resist giving out, the horror of his explanation like ice water through her veins.
"Yes, yes, I promise. I was about to pay for the groceries when some guy stormed in, but the cops were there in a matter of minutes and no one was hurt-"
"How far are you?"
"In your building right now, may lose you in the elevator," he warns, but she's already following the path Grace took to the door, standing with her heart still clogging her throat, blocking the oxygen from making it to her lungs. "I'll be there in ten seconds, Kate."
The timer begins to count down in her head the second the line is forcibly disconnected and she waits with bated breath, her hands on Grace's shoulder while they stare down the elevator doors together.
"Rick!" Grace exclaims, racing for him, and he lowers the bag of groceries to catch her.
"Hey, bud," he breathes, snagging the groceries with his fingers before standing with her daughter clutched to his chest. "I'm fine. Just wrong place, wrong time, but I'm okay."
Grace seems to loosen the death grip around his throat, but she doesn't let Castle go.
"We were scared," Kate can hear her daughter whispering and she turns back into her apartment, a hand to her mouth.
It's fine, he's fine, just like he said. There's no reason to lose it, no reason to panic; he's in her hallway, carrying her daughter and the necessary makings for spaghetti sauce. It's fine.
She has to jerk towards the bathroom, drawing the door only partially shut and descending to her haunches, has to lower her head to her knees and relearn the process of breathing without issue.
"See, we're going to make homemade tomato sauce if you're still hungry," she can hear Castle murmuring, the front door shutting with a welcoming thump, the reassuring scrape of the locks, the paper of the grocery bag rustling from the kitchen. "And you can sort these out while I go find your mom. She's probably hiding out, trying to leave us with all the hard work," he teases and it's the sound of Grace's reluctant but genuine release of quiet laughter that has the air filling her lungs again.
And then she hears his footsteps approaching.
Her entire body feels too light, dizzy, but she forces herself to stand before he can come in, see her having a meltdown on the bathroom floor, and braces her hands against the sink instead.
"Kate?" he calls quietly from outside the door, knocking twice before easing it open.
She sucks in another breath and lifts her head to find him studying her with worried eyes, leftover anxiety in the depths, highlighted by the pale quality to his skin. But it's all overshadowed by the concern that she knows is for her and she shakes her head, pushes off the sink and surges forward, crashes into him.
Castle swallows her frame with his firm embrace, his heart pounding hard enough against his ribs to shake them both while Kate bands her arms around his waist, her hands fisted tightly in his back, and his chest expands with a deep breath, his face buried in her hair.
"I'm okay," he whispers, and she smothers the silent beginnings of a sob in the stretch of fabric concealing his clavicle. "It was just a scare, Kate. Just an idiot waving around a gun-"
"It's more than that, it's - it could have been more, could have been-" Could have been him shot dead, alone and bleeding out on the grimy floor of a convenience store, the life drained out of him, all because he had come home with her. "Don't make me lose you too," she rasps, lifting her head only to rest it against his chin. "Alexis and - and Grace can't - I can't – not again. Not you too."
"No, never," he promises her, pointlessly, but she clings to it anyway, wills it to be true. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't be sorry," she chokes out, unfurling her fists at his back to raise her fingers to his jaw, drifting downwards to feel his pulse rioting with life beneath them. "I just – when you didn't come back and we were waiting for you, it – and then Grace mentioned my mom-"
"Fuck," he sighs, the curse like sandpaper along his throat, and she ducks her head to press her lips to the column of his flesh, just below his chin. He shivers, clutches the small of her back. "I swear, I was coming home. I have too much to live for – my daughter, your daughter, my mother, you."
"Did you call her? Alexis," she breathes, raising her head to seek his eyes, conveniently overlooking that final person mentioned.
Castle nods and splays his hands over the wings of her shoulder blades. "I didn't tell her, didn't want to scare her, but she was on her way home. I – I asked her to come this way, is that-"
"Of course," she murmurs, her eyes falling shut when he drops his forehead to rest against hers. "I just can't lose you, Castle."
"Momma?" Grace calls, just down the short hallway from the sounds of it. "Rick? I sorted the spices and vegetables."
"Good girl," Kate answers, coiling her fingers around his wrists when they cup her face, turning into the cradle of his palm to plant a kiss to his skin. "We're coming right now."
"Okay. Can I put in Elf on the DVD player?"
"Perfect idea, spider monkey," Rick approves and they both grin at the huff of Grace's disapproval over the newborn endearment.
"If I'm a monkey, you're a gorilla."
"I must go punish your kid for such an insult," he informs her and Kate laughs, nods against him, but before she lets him go-
"Can we still stop by for Christmas dinner?"
Castle blinks, joy bleeding through his irises, and all she can think is how beautiful it is that he's alive, that she's still allowed the privilege of looking into those eyes.
"Of course, you just saved me the trouble of begging," he murmurs, wiggling his brow, and she nudges her nose to his cheek.
"Go bother my kid so we can start dinner. Your impromptu traumatic experience has me starving."
Castle lets her go, but brushes a kiss to the slash of her cheekbone. "As you wish."
"Kinda don't want you to leave," Kate sighs, her cheek on his shoulder as the credits to yet another Christmas movie roll along her TV.
They had cooked dinner side by side, Grace popping up from the couch to help as much as possible, hanging on Rick's every word as he instructed how to make his mouthwatering spaghetti sauce.
"Almost to die for," he'd mused, earning the smack of her hand to his arm. "And apparently too soon."
By the time Alexis had shown up on her doorstep, looking so utterly worn out and asking offhandedly about the intensified presence of police vehicles down the street, appearing even more ragged after Rick had sat her down to explain the robbery scenario, dinner had been ready to serve.
Now she's lounging with him on the sofa, both of their kids asleep, Alexis curled up at his side and Grace laid across the cushions with her head on Kate's thigh and her fingers fisted in Rick's jeans. She wishes she had two extra bedrooms here.
"Wish I could stay," he agrees, rolling his head along the cushioning at his neck. "You could always come home with us."
"It's nine-thirty," she murmurs, combing her fingers through the waves of Grace's hair. "Already way past her bedtime."
"Spoilsport," he mumbles, whining when she nips at his shoulder through the material of his sweater. "A violent one at that."
She hums noncommittally and lifts her free hand to mimic the one in Grace's hair, raking gently through his.
"I'm glad you're okay," she whispers, closing her eyes as his lips dust along her forehead.
"Me too. Especially since you haven't stopped touching me since you learned of my survival."
Kate huffs and knocks her forehead into his jaw, rolls her eyes.
"Let me put this one in her bed," she sighs, rubbing Grace's back and shifting from Rick's side, already missing the warmth and reassurance his touch so easily provided. "Come on, bud. Brush and bed."
Grace hums in confusion and lifts her head, looking around the darkened room. "Bedtime?"
"Yeah, you passed out on top of me during the movie," Kate teases, brushing the bangs back from Grace's forehead.
"But Rick and Alexis," she yawns, going willingly when Kate coaxes her up, rises with her to start for her bedroom.
"Alexis fell asleep too and Rick's right here," she promises, watching her daughter squint in the dim illumination the television screen offers. "We're going to see them tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Grace mumbles, slouching into Kate's side. "Too tired for teeth."
Kate sighs and hoists Grace into her arms. "Do you want gross morning breath?"
"Yeah," she mutters, eliciting an unhelpful chuckle from Rick at her back, but Grace is already nodding off against her shoulder.
"Be right back," she tells Castle as she approaches Grace's room, bumping the door open with her hip and shuffling to her bed, grateful Grace had already changed out of her street clothes and into her pajamas after dinner. "Tomorrow, you're having a shower and brushing twice."
"'kay," she slurs, huddling beneath the purple bedspread when Kate tucks her in and kisses her head.
"Love you," Kate whispers even though she can feel Grace's breathing evening out, the exhaustion of a long day dragging her under.
A long day, a terrifying day, but a good one too.
Beckett crosses the room to plug in the nightlight Grace swears she doesn't need, brightening her room with the soft glow of gold casting the shapes of stars across the ceiling, and closes the door with a quiet click as she steps out.
Castle is alone in the living room, shrugging on his coat when she returns.
"Alexis is in the bathroom," he explains, nodding towards the sound of running water she can hear. "By the way, want to bake cookies tomorrow while you guys are at the loft?"
Kate chuckles, but nods as she steps up to him, stealing the scarf from his hands and wrapping it around his neck, holding to the ends once she's done. "Sure, Castle. Gingerbread?"
"And sugar."
"Because what you need is more sugar," she mutters, releasing the edges of his scarf as she hears the door open and Alexis shuffles back to the living room, a tired smile on her lips.
"Thanks for having us tonight, Kate," his daughter states, wrapping Beckett in a quick embrace that she returns, hoping the squeeze of her arms around her shoulders offers Alexis a surge of reassurance. Ever since Castle had explained the robbery, his daughter had been understandably unsettled, burdened with what Kate suspects is guilt for not being with him and spending the day with her mother instead. "And for entertaining him for an entire day."
"Someone has to do it," Kate sighs, sharing a wink with his daughter when Castle gasps, affronted and brushing past them both.
"Mean. All you women do is gang up on me."
"Oh, just wait until Gram gets here," Alexis chuckles, drifting towards the front door after Kate lets her go.
"I'm doomed," he groans, trudging along beside Kate on the way to the door. "Does your dad want to come for dinner too? I could use some reinforcements."
"Sorry, Castle. Dad's heading to our cabin for Christmas Day," she informs him with a consoling pat of her hand to his shoulder. "Maybe next year."
"Next year, huh?" he grins, pausing in the open doorway while Alexis steps out into the hall, tugging a red beanie from her coat pocket to secure atop her head. "Planning on sticking around then, Beckett?"
His daughter pretends not to listen, but she can see the expectant flick of Alexis's eyes towards her at the question, stares up at the man challenging her in her doorway, and rises on her toes to seal a quick kiss to his mouth.
Just a brief collision of lips, innocent and almost as chaste as their first, their last, but she feels his breath catch.
"Answer enough?" she murmurs, dropping back to the soles of her flats.
"Y-yes," he stammers, and Alexis snickers at him, tucking her hands in her coat pockets and shaking her head at them.
"Honestly, you guys are ridiculous. See you tomorrow, Kate."
"Night, Lex," Beckett replies, inclining her head towards his daughter when she presses the elevator button but he remains standing in front of her. "Go home, Castle. I'll talk to you in the morning."
The parting of the elevator kick starts him into action and he nods, words crowding at his lips, but he swallows them down for the night and she's grateful for that too.
She's too emotionally drained for anything more tonight.
"Until tomorrow, Kate."
He walks backwards towards the elevator, rushing to slip in with Alexis before the doors shut, and Kate tilts her head into the frame of the door.
"Tomorrow."
